Please Don’t Read It - Chapter 61 Chapter.50. Dont Lie To Yourself
-Beautiful?
-Think, I once again said the wrong thing …
-I really can’t stop saying something that hurts other people …
-I think what many people have said is reasonable now, I guess that’s the reason why people say that the tongue is poison.
-So, is this what they meant?
-Xi, you really speak like a bastard now.
Ning’er just fell silent she was still staring at Xi.
“I think … The song … is beautiful but it has sadness there …” Xi muttered.
“Sorry for saying something wrong to you … Sorry …” Xi said sincerely.
He even lowered his head towards Ning’er.
Ning’er just stared stunned at Xi.
” Sorry…? What makes you have to apologize to me? “Sung Ning asked.
“Isn’t what you have said indeed the truth …?”
“I think the song is beautiful …”
“Only … Only the story behind the song is indeed a bit sad, isn’t it?”
But, Xi shook his head.
“Not about the song … I apologized to you about my words yesterday that I told you …”
“Well … You know about things like crazy and the like … I thought it hurt you …” Xi said.
Ning’er just sighed, then she turned to look towards the southern city of Shanghai.
She shook her head.
“Why are you apologizing about that? Didn’t you know that I was indeed a crazy girl …?”
Xi just stares at Ning’er.
“That’s …” Xi muttered.
Ning’er just nodded.
“That is true. I am a crazy girl. I will always scream and hysterically when I will sleep and close my eyes.”
“I will always imagine that man’s face every time I close my eyes …”
“Didn’t I really deserve to be called a crazy girl …?” Sung Ning asked.
Xi shook his head.
“I think you have misunderstood … Ya, you are completely wrong …” Xi said.
“Wrong?” Ning’er asked while tilting herhead.
“Ya … You have misunderstood some parts …” Xi said.
“You mean…?”
“You have wrongly said that you have become a crazy girl … You are wrong in that part …” Xi explained.
“Why are you saying something like that?” Sung Ning asked.
“Can I know what you just said …? “Sung Ning asked.
“What about? What do you want to know ?”
“What has made you so sure to say what you just said?”
Xi just sighed.
“I know … I understand your feelings and suffering … I understand the suffering that you have experienced …”
“But, I think it’s natural …”
“I’ve read about a scientist’s research … That sometimes when humans have experienced a state that hurts them so much, they will always end up running away from all that pain …”
“You know … For some reason what you are experiencing is reasonable … You have experienced some kind of psychological trauma just after you experienced that bad thing, right? ”
“But, don’t you need to stand up from your downturn for the past five years?” Xi asked Sung Ning.
But, Sung Ning looked sarcastically at Xi.
The woman’s expression changed. Her eyes had shown hatred towards the man in front of her now.
“What do you know…?” Ning’er muttered.
“You can only speak through your mouth … What do you really know …?”
“Stop doing that … stop saying that you understand everything and know about it all. You … You don’t even understand anything, you don’t even know a thing … Stop saying about all that … “Ning’er said haltingly.
She could not accept the words of the man in front of her who said that he understood about her.
The man in front of her did not know the least of it all.
“Do you know how I feel?”
“Do you know what suffering I have experienced … Can you know all that?”
Ning looked at Xi with a look of gloomy eyes on the young man.
Xi can only be silent and he doesn’t dare say a word.
But, what Xi has said is true.
Are not humans too long to lament the misfortune that has befallen them? Don’t you think so, kid?
Have you ever seen your mother stop crying in her prayer?
Hasn’t your mother also lamented her fate over the past years?
“Do you know what it’s like to be raped by the person you hate most?” Ning asked with a blank look in her eyes.
Xi can’t answer that question.
Men cannot really feel what women consider to be an impurity that has tarnished them.
“Do you know about all that …? “Ning’er said as she began to shed tears on her face.
The girl then shook her head again.
“No … You don’t know all that … You said that you knew all that … You were wrong …”
“You are only a man! You will never know what it feels like to be raped by the person you hate most …”
“You don’t know that … Don’t know anything at all …”
“Then … How dare you tell me that you understand?”
“Can you understand how a woman who is a **** victim feels? Can you understand how it feels to be an unclean girl?”
“Can you understand that …?”
The girl had wiped her face with her tears.
Ya, that is true.
There will never be a single descendant of Adam who is able to understand the feelings of descendants of Eve.
“Have you ever imagined the sanctity that you have kept for someone you love, taken away and stolen from you …? ”
“Have you ever?”
Sung Ning looked at Xi. Her gaze was completely different from the previous blank eyes.
“I am the saddest person … Most despicable … The worst and I am just a crazy girl …”
Sung Ning nodded.
“Right! I am a crazy girl who has been abandoned by her beloved lover. Hahaha …” She laughed like a girl who was truly crazy.
Xi just stares at the girl.
He already knew that this girl would say the same thing as yesterday.
Right, Ning’er will say the same things.
“Stop lying …” Xi muttered.
He looked at the girl’s eyes.
“You can lie to people by saying that you are crazy …”
Xi shook his head.
“But, you will never be able to lie to me …”
Ning’er fell silent while looking at Xi.
“You might be able to lie to your grandfather, your father and your own mother … But, I will never be deceived …”
“You are sane and you have common sense … If you are insane, why are you still standing now? Why are you looking at the cinema building behind the skyscraper?” Xi said as he pointed to the south of Shanghai .
“You still have little hope for the love that is in your heart … There is no one crazy person who will do the same thing you have done now …”
.
.
“When you look at the building, you actually still have hope, right?
“You have been hoping that your lover will come back to you, right?” Xi said, ensuring that everything he had thought was right.
” That … “Ning’er muttered while wiping away her tears.
“Just say that’s true …” Xi interrupted.
Xi looked up at the sky. He looked at the full moon there.
“You still have hope to be chosen by someone you have loved so far … You still have that …”
“You might not believe what I have said to you now … But, someday you will understand that … Ya, I am sure you will understand the words I just said …”
But, Xi paused before he finally shook his head slowly.
“No … I think it’s more like I said that you already know it … But, you lied to yourself …”
“You still have hope there …” Xi said, pointing to Ning’er’s chest.
Ning’er was only stunned after she listened to Xi’s words.
Sung Ning still had hope in her heart. She wanted to stay with Wang Xi.
But, she had considered her body to be unclean. So she cannot have the right to say all her hopes.
I sometimes think.
Humans always blame God and themselves for every misfortune and suffering they have experienced. That’s what makes them so disgusting.
Have they ever thought that in the world they also have misfortune more painful than their own misfortune?
Like the misfortune of a pig that was born to be slaughtered and served on a human dining table?
Have they ever thought about the misfortune of a chick born to be slaughtered and cut after they grow into an adult chicken?
No, I don’t think they will know. Ya, it is true. They will never want to know about it …
In this world there are creatures and other people created just to die and suffer.
Everything I say is the reality. The reality is when he was born into this world. Isn’t he destined to be hurt and killed by the person he loves the most?
Maybe the punishment that was received by the man was the reason I told you about this story.
That the man was born seven times for the sad story I wrote so far.
Xi is silent for a moment.
“Hey … Do you want to listen to a story about someone who is more unfortunate than you?” Xi asked in a whispering voice but his eyes were still staring at the buildings in front of him.
Sung Ning looked at Xi.
In her mind that her misfortune was the worst misfortune in the world.
Is there any misfortune and suffering more than the misfortune and suffering of the girl?
She never heard of such things.
“This is the story of a naive man …”
“If you want to hear it, then hear this story until it’s finished …” Xi said.
***
Author Note:
I don’t really understand why in my novel I suddenly lost the vote facility … I have guessed so far. Does this novel have some kind of bug or this novel does not deserve to be valued by the readers of my novel?
I mean, I have asked to fix this if this novel does have some kind of bug. However, if this novel is indeed not worthy of being written on this platform because of its other shortcomings, I think that is very reasonable.
For example, in the first few chapters, there may be too few words in each chapter. I think I will say now that at the beginning of translating this novel I only used the translation machine without the engine editor’s help.
Is the translator engine novel not suitable to post here?
If so, there should be a kind of reminder not to post a novel that is only translated and edited by the machine.
I just say that I am a novelist even though I was originally a writer of fantasy novels, I also put a lot of views and emotions in my novel.
I mean, maybe I’m the worst translator using a machine. However, my novel is the result of my work. Some people may understand the quality of this novel, some of them may feel involved in the words and sentences I wrote there. Maybe it’s only a few hundred people. But, they are also my readers.
P.S. I will think for a moment for the next week whether I will continue to translate my original work or I decide to stop translating it (DropOut). I hope you understand a little about my decision later.
If staff and Wuxiaworld read this, I hope they can tell me where I am wrong in the e-mail below:
Eraaanfairchild @ gmail.com
I will also drop out my brother’s novel that I post here if I later decide to drop out all my work.
Thank you for spending time reading this far.
See You Next Week
EraaanFairchild
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