Pseudo Resident’s Illegal Stay in Another World - CH 67
༺ Sun and Moon (1) ༻
I plopped to the ground like a mouse pressed by a cat’s front paw and couldn’t even move an inch.
It didn’t take long to find out that someone’s soft soles were pressing hard on my neck.
『It seems like you are getting quite cocky these days. Or is it just me?』
It was the most amazing voice I’d ever heard in my life. Her voice was refreshing and cold, like a drink that had freshly been taken out of the refrigerator. It was a very weird way to describe the otherworldly voice, but it really was true.
However, even if I wanted to see what was going on and who was stepping on my neck, I couldn’t turn my head because she was pressuring my neck with quite a bit of force.
『Where are you going to look? A mortal like you will be blinded just by looking at me.』
A mortal? Damn it, I am screwed. It was obviously another strange person that had shown up from god knows where. I feel like this was becoming an everyday event at this point.
For a moment, I thought that it was Knox, but her aura was too different. If Knox felt like an old-fashioned Madam, this woman felt like my younger sister. Her voice is also a little younger and more immature.
And in my experience, a woman who was as young and immature as my sister would, most of the time, cause terrible problems for unexpected reasons.
“W-who are you!?”
『You don’t know who I am? I can’t forgive you even more then. I am the goddess of the hunt and the moon. I’m the protector of wild animals and the purity of the girls.』
“Uck…”
The pressure trampling on my neck became more powerful, so I could only struggle with my arms and legs like a roach sprayed with insecticide.
I thought I would really die due to having my neck broken at this rate, so I desperately racked my brain to figure out how to get out of this troublesome situation.
“I’m sorry…! I have committed a great sin!”
I didn’t know why, but I felt like she was furious at me, so I thought it would be better to apologize first because there was nothing I could do right now.
I wasn’t sure if my thoughts would work well or not. However, the strength on her foot, which had been stepping on my neck, slightly loosened, and I finally had enough leeway to breathe properly.
『I wanted to feed you to the dogs and let them rip you apart right away. But, you unexpectedly apologized obediently. All right, since I’m generous, I’ll forgive you.』
“S-So, are you going to let me live?”
『No, I’m going to kill you! I will rip you to death!』
Oh no, this fucking woman is crazy!!! In my experience, an apology wouldn’t even work for someone like her.
『Not only have you defiled the girls I’ve been protecting, but you have even messed with the deer I deeply cared about. Now, you say you want to be forgiven?』
Girls? Deer? A few possible identities of the goddess came into my mind. She introduced herself as the goddess of chastity, the hunt, and something more, right? Then…
“…Are you perhaps, Lady Diana?”
『So you know who I am! You, hideous mortal. Looking at the fact that you smell like nymphs, recently you must also have attacked the poor nymphs, haven’t you!?』
My body smelled like a nymph? I didn’t know what I smelled like, to be honest, but I could see that the smell lingering on my body caused anger to reach the top of the head of the goddess, Diana.
“It’s a misunderstanding. I just gave her a massage!”
『Massage? Don’t lie. There’s no way a simple massage could lead to the emission of a smell this strong. You must have pretended to do a massage and rubbed her all over the place, right?』
Damn it. I couldn’t argue with that.
『After rubbing women all over the place, then, y-you must have put that ugly thing of yours inside them, right? You… Purity destroyer…!』
What, purity destroyer? That’s quite a nice nickname for my schlong. But it felt unfair because my schlong was actually a devoted lover, so I had never done it with anyone but my left hand and Luna.
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“No, I only gave a massage to the Nymph! Nothing else! You’re misunderstanding!”
『You only gave her a massage, but didn’t move on to the next step after that? Do you think I’m stupid? How can I believe that?』
“I can swear by the river Styx.”
『…You are willing to swear by the Styx?』
The hostility, which had been burning fiercely as if she wanted to trample me to death, seemed to have eased a little.
I wasn’t sure why, but swearing by the River Styx seemed to have a significant impact on the gods.
『Hmm, if you dare to go to that extent… All right, then do that massage to me, too. I’m going to judge for myself whether it’s obscene or not.』
“W-what?”
『But if you look up, I’ll punish you immediately. All you can look at is here, right up to this foot.』
Sweep—
The foot that was pressing against my neck had loosened its strength and disappeared. Only then did I manage to get up and sit on the floor.
But I wasn’t allowed to raise my head, so I could only stare at the dirt-covered floor of the training ground. Then, she positioned her small bare feet in front of me.
My first impression was that her foot was very fair and thin, and her second toe was slightly longer than the thumb. She had a greek foot, so to speak.
Maybe she applied nail polish? Her toenails were light sky blue. They were also very bright and shining.
She stepped on the dirt barefoot, but her foot didn’t get any dust on it. Indeed, she was definitely an ethereal being.
Just by looking at her feet, I could imagine how beautiful the woman standing proudly in front of me was. Therefore, I wondered if I could really hold onto her foot.
『What are you doing? I don’t have much time.』
“Uh, I heard that the feet are a symbol of purity. So, I’m not sure if I am really allowed to touch it like this….”
『Ha? I am the goddess of chastity. Do you think that the hands of a mere mortal like you can defile my purity? Are you looking down on me? Or are you thinking about defiling me?』
“N-no, that’s not what I meant. I’m just asking because I’m really curious… Just when is it considered defiling someone’s purity and when is it not? How do I distinguish?”
“It’s obviously when you are doing direct copulation, you idiot. But, of course, there is another theory of three things related to purity— heart, spirit, and body. Yet that theory is too hard for you to understand, so you just need to understand this.』
“I-I see.”
I decided to close my mouth because I thought I might provoke this crazy woman even more if I spoke anything else. My hand slowly reached out to the fair white sole as I shut my mouth as tight as I could.
Sweep—
This woman’s right foot was chillier than I imagined it to be, so it felt very cool to the touch. Moreover, it was softer and smoother than I thought. Did I have to do a foot massage now?
Yet, my mind went blank, and I couldn’t think of anything. The existence threatening to kill me right now was looking down on me.
『What are you doing?』
I tried to dismiss such a thought and pressed the Bubbling Well acupoint in the center of the sole that was trampling me earlier. Whenever I pressed this part, soon, Luna would laugh and tremble.
So far, everyone has had good reactions. Would it also work for this quirky goddess, Diana?
Press—
『It hurts!』
“I’m sorry!”
Damn, I forgot to control my strength well. I had pressed her feet too hard! So while still feeling surprised, I tried to adjust my strength to her preference.
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“Then how about this much… Is this good enough?”
『Well, I’m not sure, but I think it’s good?』
I kept pressing the soft sole with force as though I was pressing a remote control button. Diana’s legs trembled when I gently pressed on her big toe from time to time.
『…. H-hngg, well, that’s quite good. I will cut you some slack. Not bad.』
Then she slipped her foot out of my hand.
『Okay, I’m willing to slightly forgive you. But you’ve done great sins, so I’d like to make an appropriate compromise.』
“Are you saying that you will spare my life?”
『Only if you agree to my condition. You’ll swear to keep your purity from today on. And pay tribute only to me. You can only do this massage to me.』
“Is that the condition…?”
『I’m trying to make you my great warrior. I’ll give you a blessing accordingly. You’re the first man who gets this blessing after Orion, so you’d better feel honored about this.』
I wasn’t sure whether it was a great event or a blessing, but I couldn’t understand what it meant to make a chastity vow. That feeling of uncertainty was overwhelming my mind.
『By the way, if you don’t make the vow, you’ll get a big punishment. The same thing is also applied if you don’t keep the vow of chastity. In some cases, it might be better to just die.』
What kind of unreasonable thing was she trying to do to me? Damn it, what should I do? I was just rubbing Hippolyte’s shoulder earlier, and I didn’t expect this to happen.
Losing my life or losing the use of my schlong. Those were the only options.
In fact, it was similar to facing a two-pronged path, and instantly, I had a serious decision to make about my future.
Both choices were extremely difficult to make. Both sides of the scales rose and tilted repeatedly and eventually reached a point of conclusion in my mind.
In the end, life is much more important.
“T-Then, I choose…”
The moment when I tried to pluck all my courage and open my mouth with determination…
Crush—.
Right then, while Diana was on my left, someone else gently landed on my right and showed their presence. Maybe because he was holding onto a bright lamp, the dark training ground had become bright like it was daylight.
『Diana, your actions now have just violated the laws of Olympus. Also, your penalty points are already above the standard due to Actaeon’s case. So you better not act selfishly for your own good.』
He had a beautiful voice that sounded like a voice actor’s, but hearing the heavy tone and depth of the voice, I became certain that it belonged to a man. Of course, I didn’t have the guts to raise my head and check his identity.
I kept my head hanging in the same position and hoped this catastrophe would pass as soon as possible.
『Hurry up! Go back to your place.』
『Humph, I’ve said everything I have to say today. All right, I’ll get out of here.』
Step— Step—
After a short leap, the chilly air that Diana was exuding had now disappeared.
I could swallow a small sigh of relief because the one aiming for my life was now gone. Damn it, I just narrowly escaped from becoming a eunuch.
『Yes, I can feel a karma that is similar to mine from you. Is it because of Asclepius’ ability?』
Swish—.
I was surprised to see him bending down to me with a delightful tone. This catastrophe hasn’t completely gone away yet, it seems.
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“T-Thank you for saving my life.”
『I can’t talk with you for too long, but I have duly received the tribute and task token you sent me last time. When you become a great man in a high position, you should be able to reciprocate in exchange for what you have received.』
Ssk—.
I felt something touch my head.
A big and warm hand? I wasn’t sure what it was, but it felt like a hand to me…
Fuck, why the heck was he touching my hair all of a sudden? After the crazy high school girl-like goddess there was even a homosexual god trying to harass me now? I started to tremble with anxiety.
The Radiant Sun, Apollo, has given you his blessing.
As a reward, ‘Imperfect Dexterity’ has been strengthened to ‘Shining Hand’.
By repeating a particular action, you can make your hands emit light for a certain period of time.
What the fuck? Shining Hand? I couldn’t believe the words that appeared even after seeing them with my eyes. Anyway, I felt grateful that he decided to grant me a blessing.
“T-Thank you!”
『Due to the law of cause and effect, what I can give to you is just something this small. But it’s a useful skill, so I hope you can use it well. For example, you can use it when exploring Pluto’s labyrinth. Yeah, that’s the perfect time to use this blessing because it’s dark inside.』
Apollo, God of Light and Sun, probably had favorable feelings for me. Since that was the case, I opened my mouth to ask something I was really curious about.
“Uhm, I’d like to ask you something if it isn’t much of a bother.”
『What is it? If it is short, I’ll have time to answer.』
“Uh, I won’t get hair loss even if I use this ability, right? I heard that if you receive the blessing from the Sun God, you will start to lose your hair.”
『…It’s beyond the scope of what I can answer. Anyway, I will never make a direct intervention in the life of a mortal like today again in the future. No being of this world can get around this world’s rules.』
Kick—
Along with the sound of kicking the earth, the sense of heaviness completely disappeared. Darkness sank again in the world that was bright like the day, and the world that was silent as if it was in the dead hours of the night began to revitalize once again.
All I could hear were the crickets and the birds chirping at night.
Haa, what the hell happened? I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I was surprised that my hands shone with a subtle white light like some kind of firefly’s butt.
“Fuck, this scared the shit out of me!”
* * ** * *
I thought it was already too late for me to sleep but there was still some time before the sun was up, so I decided to visit Luna’s cabin.
Luna was carving wooden blocks with a small dagger, perhaps not noticing it was already very late into the night.
“Hassan, why are your hands shining so brightly?”
Luna opened her mouth as if she was very amazed when she saw my illuminated hands. Of course, the same goes for me.
So I gave a brief account of a newly acquired blessing on my hands. Of course, I didn’t talk about the story of being misunderstood by the goddess of the hunt. I just explained the changes in my blessings.
While listening to it with interest, Luna asked.
“But how do you put off the lights? Will you keep emitting light like this?”
“If I leave it alone, the light will eventually turn off.”
Swish—
After about a minute or so, the softly radiating light in my hand gradually lost its light and went back to normal.
“Wow, that’s true. Then can you make the light back on?”
“Wait a minute.”
After Luna’s question, I repeatedly folded and unfolded my hand.
Therefore, my hands were wrapped in a subtle light again. I was also only able to figure this out after some experiments, but it was amazing no matter how much I looked at it. Damn, my hands were emitting light!
“Wow! I can save money on candles now! This is like magic!”
Luna’s words were correct. My new ability, Shining Hand, was such a blessing that it allowed me to save some money by no longer needing to buy candles.
I couldn’t think of how to use this Shining Hand elsewhere, and I was too tired to give it any additional thought.
However, I would have almost died tonight if Apollo had not come down to save me. This event just made me realize that Diana, the goddess of the moon, was a rather crazy goddess.
In the past, when people from the West wanted to express that the person had a few loose screws, did they say something like the moon possessed them? Werewolves also went wild when they saw the moon.
Was she crazy like the moon because she was the moon goddess?
Come to think of it, Luna’s name also meant moon. Was the name the problem then? Would Luna’s mental state improve if I changed her name?
“It’s done!”
Then Luna held the dagger high and shouted out loud.
For a moment, I thought Luna, the crazy girl, was trying to stab me to death, but she stuck out the broad board she carved toward me. It was one of the boards left after repairing the cabin.
“What’s that?”
“What do you think about this workshop sign? It’s cool, right?”
When I glanced at the thing that looked similar to a “workshop sign,” some letters were engraved over it. It was quite difficult to recognize because the handwriting was crooked, but it was not to the extent that it was very difficult to read.
Sun and Moon Beverage Workshop…
“Sun and moon?”
“It’s poetic, right? I named it after Hassan and myself.”
I knew that Luna’s name meant the moon, but I wondered why the sun suddenly popped out of my name.
“Part of my name is Sun?”
“In the old Gaia dialect, Hassan is similar to Hot Sun, which means the hot sun. Didn’t you get the name Hassan from this word? So I was thinking that you also received a blessing from the Sun God.”
“Ah, that’s how it is.”
The hot sun, you might think it like that. Seeing a letter named after me in the store sign for the workshop that Luna had been wishing to open was a very touching sight to me.
On the other hand, it reminded me of the health center, Mountain and Sea, run by my father. Therefore, it suddenly made me miss my hometown.
Luna turned out to be more like a healer. When I heard she was a voodoo shaman I thought she would corrupt other people’s minds or something. Was it because she was a grass Pokemon, and she would spout something like phytoncide?
“I-if you don’t like it, I’ll change it. I’m sorry if I offended you by putting your name without your consent….”
Looking at the girl who had no self-confidence and felt embarrassed by her decision, I suddenly felt emotional and got the urge to hug Luna’s waist.
Luna trembled in surprise at my actions.
“…H-Hassan!?”
Luna struggled really hard to get out of my arms.
“Why? Can’t I even hug you like this?”
“It’s not that. You smell like nymphs.”
Just what in hell is this situation?
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