Queen Midknight: The Wolf’s Bride - Chapter 174

Chapter hundred and seventy four: Papa…Papa, build me up!

Jamie stared at the wall. She wasn’t seeing it since her mind was elsewhere. Her mind was at the time she almost got herself killed trying to save Alexander from a cliff.

She blinked again and she was back to the most painful and the most beautiful memory of him, the day he told her that he loved her. She allowed the memory to linger, she just let play on repeat.

“I love you. I love you. I love you”

She whispered out loud like she was back at that moment and she was reciprocating his feelings.

Jamie could hear voices outside her door. They weren’t as quiet as they thought. She wondered why everyone won’t just go away and leave her alone.

There was a slight knock on the door and it opened and someone she knew to be Rosemund walked inside.

“Jamie…are you awake?”

“Yes” Jamie answered and made herself sit upright to stare at her sister in law.

“You’ve been in your chamber for far too long Jamie. Let’s take a walk in the garden” Rosemund offered her a hand but she simply slipped back into bed and back to looking at the wall.

“No”

Rosemund was beginning to form tears in her eyes. Grieving the death of her brother was the hardest thing she had ever done.

“I am taking the crown, Jamie”

“When?” Queen Luna murmured without looking at Rosemund.

“Today….by evening, I will be Queen over Western and Southern hemispheres. Things are not going to get easier for us ruling over two war ridden hemispheres. Will you come to my coronation?” Rosemund asked her.

“You don’t need me there. You are not Queen. Alexander is alive…I just can’t find him yet” She turned around and grabbed Rosemund’s hand “Don’t take the crown!”

Rosemund closed her eyes and the tears she was trying to hold back spilled down to her cheeks.

“I d-don’t want it, Jamie. I will give up being Queen, I will give this hemisphere and the newly acquired one to see Alexander again. Look at me, Jamie…Hey! I said, look at me!”

Jamie turned around and looked at Rosemund.

“There is a huge pit in my stomach! T-there is a hole, i-i can’t fill. I feel like a very huge part of me is missing, Jamie. B-but he died! He went to war and he…he is gone. Pretending he is still alive….doing that, it’s not helping anymore. He loved you and he loved me. My brother wouldn’t want the woman he loved to stay in a dark chamber all day staring at nothing…”

Rosemund was startled when Jamie grabbed her hand and placed it on her chest.

“Can you feel my heartbeat?! He is not dead. I just can’t find him”

Rosemund took her hand away and stood up.

“Come to the coronation and afterwards, we are putting my brother to rest” Rosemund walked out.

Jamie went back to staring at the wall.

Hours must have passed when she heard another knock on the door and like usual she ignored it knowing that whomever it was would go away or come inside eventually.

“Jamie? Jamie, it’s Papa”

Jamie’s eyes widened as she climbed out of the bed and raced to the door.

She hadn’t imagined his voice, her father was standing there looking at her with those eyes that always seem to make her feel relieved and protected.

“Papa! You came!” She threw herself at him and her father caught her.

And for the first time since she came to the castle, she felt the first bout of grief that had been eluding her.

“Of course, I did darling, I came as soon as I was able to. Don’t worry, Papa is here now. You can tell me everything now”

Jamie hugged her father tightly.

“I can’t…I…I can’t find him. Oh my God, Papa, my husband..m-my…he is dead, isn’t he?” Jamie finally admitted as the sobs ripped through her like ripples on a water surface.

“I am here, Jamie. Let it out, child” King Jared tried to console his daughter. He wished he could wave a wand and make everything okay for her.

He wished he could take the pain and bear it for her but he couldn’t. The pain and the loss was hers and hers alone to bear. He was just there to make certain that the child he loves didn’t go through it alone.

“Oh my God he died, Papa…Alexander, died. What am I going to do?” Jamie asked her father.

“Your husband died, child…grief, Janessa…”

Jamie shook her head.

“I am going to fall apart into a million pieces, Father. I will b-break” Jamie kept shaking her head.

King Jared placed both hands on her face and held it still. He stared into her eyes making sure that the big green eyes he had known all his life were staring right back at him.

“Then fall apart, sweetheart. Shatter into a million pieces. I am your father, Jamie. If you fall apart, I promise I will pick you up a single piece at a time and I will put you back together. Falling apart is your job, making sure you don’t remain like that…broken…that’s a father’s job, Okay?”

Jamie heard every single word he said.

She did fall apart. She just broke into a million ways.

Fresh batch of tears streamed down her face and for a moment she couldn’t breathe as she choked on the words she was trying to get out, words she couldn’t get out anymore.

He died.

Damn it, the truth was too painful to bear.

Jamie tried to control her breathing before she had a panic attack.

It felt like the only way to make the build up of pain in her chest go away before she exploded was to say the truth out loud over and again.

“He died. He died. He died”

King Jared kept his promise at the end. He picked her up. He literally carried her back to her chamber and made sure that everything she needed was given to her by the eager Heavens.

He fed her himself and made sure she took just enough wine to sleep off like a baby.

When she wakes up, he plans to take her home with him. There was nothing here for her anymore. She can come back home to where she belongs.

Jamie slept most of the day. Knowing that her father was close by was enough to just lie there and be weak. She wanted to stay hidden under the covers, safely tucked away from the world, she thought she was allowed to until in the evening when her father entered her chambers and pulled the curtains open, letting in rays of evening light that blinded her temporarily.

“Close the curtains!” She snapped at him before she knew who he was.

“Get up, Jamie. It’s time for training” Her father’s voice was soft but unwavering.

“No. Leave me to sleep, Papa” She turned her face away.

“Janessa Mildred Willow Namura!”

Her father’s voice and hearing her name in full and its glory made Jamie’s eyes fly open. The last time her father called her by her mouthful name, she was ten and she had just shaved Elliott’s eyebrows while he slept.

She had been in her papa’s bad grace for hours while she was locked in the library to read history books and talk about them in the evening.

It was the worst punishment she ever got from the man she called father.

“I am going to count to three and you better be up on your feet!” King Jared yelled at his youngest.

Jamie was up in a second. She blinked at her father, the weakness she felt before gently disappearing from her body.

“You said I could fall apart!” She yelled at him.

“I did and now, it’s time to build you up. No daughter of mine will hide under the covers in the name of grief. Dress up and meet me in the fighting arena” Jared came closer and touched her cheeks tenderly before walking out.

Jamie blinked. She obeyed him anyway.

Jamie opened her wardrobe to put on something decent and after about two seconds of thinking about it she chose her old comfortable male outfit.

She didn’t care anymore what people said.

When she got to the Arena, her father and Rosemund were there.

“What are you doing here?” Jamie asked her sister in law.

“I don’t know. King Jared didn’t give me an option. So, here I am instead of my court preparing for my coronation” Rosemund shrugged and looked at Jamie.

“Papa, what’s going on?” Jamie asked but before she could get an answer to the question, Arabella and Elliot walked into the Arena too.

“Bella!” Jamie hugged her sister “What are you doing here?”

“I think this is what father normally calls a family meeting” Arabella hugged her sister again.

“I am sorry about Alexander, Jamie”

Jamie nodded.

“If this is a family meeting then why am I here?” Rosemund asked no one in particular.

Jamie exhaled and looked at her.

“You are here because believe it or not, you are a part of my family, Rose” Jamie answered her.

King Jared moved closer to all his children.

“We are here to fight instead of wallowing alone in grief”