Queen Midknight: The Wolf’s Bride - Chapter 184

Chapter hundred and eighty four: Saying goodbye

Jamie knew what to expect of death. She always assumed it would be cold and quick but everything she felt now wasn’t cold or quick. It was pure torture.

She tried not to cry. What’s the point of sacrificing her life for Alexander if she was going to whine about it in tears.

Jamie decided if she ever leaves the earth that she was going to do it in style.

Here was to going out in style!

She made her lips stop trembling but she had absolutely no control over her eyes as it started pooling tears.

She felt her eyelids flutter. She could feel the warmth of Alexander breathe on the nape of her neck. She had her back to him and he was holding her from behind.

Jamie suddenly felt exhausted and as much as she tried to keep her eyes open, it resisted until it was almost impossible to.

Jamie felt the heaviness of her chest like a huge rock had been placed there and it was crushing her. She figured it was because of two things.

One, it was because of the intense emotions she was trying not to allow herself to feel.

Two, it was a symptom of her impending death.

At first, when Jamie heard the whimpering sound, she had no idea where it was coming from. Then, she felt Alexander’s hand tighten around her waist and his baritone voice asking a question.

“Are you in pain? I know there should be soreness but maybe I was too rough on you. I should send for a physician” Alexander was half sitting half lying down as he used his elbow to support his body weight and his free hand to pull her damp hair away from her face.

He was worried. Or maybe it was fear. Fear that he was the cause of her pain and he had imagined what happened an hour ago differently.

What he had experienced was pure bliss and he was looking forward to doing more.

Then Alexander realized, it might be pure Bliss for him but it was horrible for her.

He hadn’t done a good job. He was slightly panicked.

“Was…w-was it so horrible?” Alexander’s voice was shaky at best.

Jamie realized by his question that she was the one whimpering. She touched her face and she felt tears streaming down.

Bloody hell!

Jamie guessed she wasn’t going out brave but she would be damned if she let the man she loved believe he had failed miserably in the act of making her into a real woman.

She summoned all her leftover strength and rolled around so that she could face Alexander.

She saw his hazel eyes and she wondered if she stared long enough at them, maybe death would stop knocking on her door.

Looking at his eyes even death would be sympathetic and let them have their happily ever after.

Alexander pushed her damp hair away for the second time, he cleared his throat.

“I know ways to make it more pleasurable for you next time, Monisha…please, don’t cry anymore.” Alexander had never felt this way before. He felt like he had failed miserably in something he had no business failing.

Maybe he had imagined the sexual climax that she experienced twice an hour ago. Maybe he imagined it because the alternative was bad for both his manhood and his wife.

“Janessa…”

“It…wasn’t horrible. It was the singular most beautiful feeling I have had in my life. Having you inside me was…mind-blowing but now, it’s over and I am sad it is. I am sad that I won’t get the chance to do it again, Alex. I am sad that you are going to hate me for the rest of your life because of what I did”

Alexander was suddenly reminded of his wolf. For a moment there he had actually forgotten that Max was gone. He wasn’t thrilled about it but he wasn’t thrilled about seeing his wife in tears too.

He kissed her lips softly.

“Janessa…hush now! Don’t cry anymore, sweetheart”

“But you will hate me…”

Alexander chuckled. He had no idea that he was going to do that but suddenly, everything she was saying was amusing. Or maybe he was relieved that her first time wasn’t horrible.

“Darling, I think I am incapable of hating you and I know this because I have tried to hate you several times. If I was going to hate you, I would have done it the first day we met each other when you threatened to kill me or the numerous times you tried to escape or when you held my little sister hostage or…honestly, the list goes on, my love. I think I am wired to hopelessly fall in love with you Jamie and Max’s death will hurt for a while…a very long while because I feel like a part of me is missing but…we are going to muddle through it, Okay?” Alexander reassured her.

“Okay. I am going to close my eyes now. Will you keep holding me, so I don’t get scared?” Jamie was talking about her death.

“I will”

She watched his face, taking in as many details as she could. She wanted to remember even in death. He was Alexander Lucian Aradale and he was the man worth dying for. It would be a shame if she forgot his face.

“I love you, Alexander”

“I love you even more Jamie”

“Can I call you Alex now?”

“No. Kings don’t shorten their names…” Alexander answered.

“But you called me Jamie just now”

Jamie could feel her eyelids pulling towards each other.

“But you are not…”

It was the last thing she heard before her eyes closed and slowly she drifted away.

Alexander watched her for a moment before he got up to go for a swim. His injuries from the silver were gone and he needed a place to grieve his wolf, Max without making his wife feel like she was responsible.

Alexander opened the door and went outside.

The outer room was strangely deserted. Maybe they were as loud as he thought they were.

When he came outside, the first person he saw was his brother, Judd. He was sitting on a low stool and sharpening his sword. His posture told the story of an angry man that wanted to be left alone.

“Judd” Alexander waved to him.

He raised his eyes and he was up on his feet.

Next, Alexander had a sword pressed to his neck.

“Is my brother gone and you are the beast that replaced him?” Judd asked as his eyes darkened. “Hmm…are you going to declare war on everything that moves and breathes in search of power? I won’t let you. I will put a sword through you before I allow you to taint the memory of my brother” Judd told him.

“Easy, little brother. It’s still me” Alexander murmured and pushed the sword away.

“Proof it!” Judd murmured and returned the sword to his neck.

Alexander looked at him. “If I were a murderous beast with no humanity, I will rip my annoying lead knight to shred for threatening to kill me twice but I am not. Is that proof enough?” Alexander asked him.

Judd thought about what he said and he lowered his sword.

“It’s really you, Alexander?”

“Yes, Luther. It is me. I guess this is the time you hug me for the first time in your life” Alexander said with a grin.

“I am not going to…”

Judd was almost going away when Alexander hugged him.

“We both need this hug, Judd”

“I am glad you are alive, brother” Judd didn’t resist. His arm went around Alexander and then they pulled apart before it became awkward.

“Where is everyone?” Alexander asked him.

“How are you alive? Wait, was it because of the sound coming out of the bedchamber hours ago? Is Jamie dead because she slept with you?” Judd’s eyes darted to the entrance of the house.

“No, Luther. Jamie is fine but…Max is gone. He…hmm…sacrificed himself for me. I have my sanity back but my wolf is gone”

“I…I am so sorry. I liked Max too”

“Where is Rose?” Alexander asked him.

“She is by the river. Come on, I will take you to her”

Alexander and Judd walked down to the river.

Rosemund was staring out to the river and she tried to ignore the intense sadness she felt.

“Rose?” Judd called out softly.

“I-is he dead yet?” She asked.

“Rose, I am fine. I am not dying anymore” Alexander was the one to answer.

Rosemund turned around and saw her brother.

“Are you…sure?”

“I am” Alexander hardly finished talking when she let out a pent up breath and kicked her shoes out.

Rosemund took a step into the river. Alexander took a step to go after her.

“I am fine, Xander. I Just…just give me a minute”

Rose took another step and another.

Alexander was about to jump in after her when he heard a voice in his head.

(Why am I still alive?)

“Max?”

(Alexander, why am I still alive?)

Alexander turned abruptly towards the house, if Max was in him and he just slept with Jamie then….

“Janessa…” he yelled and took off in a run.

Janessa!