Reborn as his Shadow - Chapter 15

When the two returned home, the banquet was still ongoing, and Xiao Ying went up to his room without anyone noticing. He had had a long week, and after staying up so much later that night, he fell asleep in Mo Jingxuan’s arms, letting the shadow dress and put him to bed.

Only half aware of his surroundings, he vaguely heard Xuan whispering in his ear, a soft voice that seemed to come from a faraway place. His voice held hints of pleading, begging him not to fall in love with someone else in the future.

Before falling into a deep sleep and entirely blacking out, Xiao Ying had an answer flash through his mind. Xuan was enough for him; he didn’t need any extra people in his future.

Year after year, Xiao Ying grew up with Mo Jingxuan’s company. In the sixth grade, at Xiao Yao’s request, both Xiao Ying and Xiao Yixiu transferred to Landi Academy.

Even while Mo Jingxuan felt helpless as he tried to turn fate around, nothing seemed to change. He kept a wary eye on Mo Heng as the school year passed, and although his so-called younger brother was still a child, he didn’t dare to take him lightly. He had inherited his mother’s knack for acting and, even in his last life, had begun to initiate plans early on to take everything from him. Mo Jingxuan, in this life, was still lying on his bed, relying on technology to survive, but all that meant was that Mo Heng could focus his attention elsewhere. If Mo Heng took this chance to seduce and catch Xiao Ying’s attention, he didn’t know what he would do.

Time flew by, and Xiao Ying’s life gradually grew brighter in his new environment. He met Zi Bo in elementary school and became good friends with Xia Qifan by junior high as Dr. Xia brought him by so often. The three of them were top of their class in school, and in their second year of high school, they met new competition; Ren Yue transferred in from an all-girls school.

In this way, the four academic masters competed with each other and vied for the number one spot in their grade. It was not until they entered the university campus that they stopped contending against themselves. As the freshman representatives of their class, they gave a speech on opening day. With their excellent grades and exquisite appearances, the four of them immediately became their classmates’ idols.

This was the beginning of a more colorful university life. Among the four friends, besides Zi Bo, who had slightly worse family conditions, the other three lived in the campus dorms for the experience. This gave Mo Jingxuan and Xiao Ying more time to be alone together.

What made Mo Jingxuan feel the most fortunate over the past few years, though, was that Mo Heng had not once appeared in front of Xiao Ying. All he could do now was pray that Xiao Ying’s time in college would be smooth sailing and that his indifference towards the Mo family would continue.

They had a single dorm with one bedroom, a living room, a kitchen, and a bathroom. Looking at Xiao Ying who was now eighteen, Mo Jingxuan suddenly felt like his family had grown up. Xiao Ying looked the same as in his past life; he was tall with a height measuring almost two meters and a perfect figure with well-proportioned muscles. His facial features were well-defined and deep-set, giving his face a calm and collected look, which only heightened with the indifference he usually displayed.

Throwing the T-shirt he took off onto the carpet casually; Xiao Ying turned around to look at Mo Jingxuan, who was cast into the shadows of the room with a slight smile, “Is Xuan looking at me?”

“…”

Xiao Ying helplessly supported his forehead, “Xuan, we just talked about this a few days ago! I’ve grown up now, I’m not just your baby anymore….you need to give me some time to myself, okay?”

When Mo Jingxuan didn’t respond, Xiao Ying’s expression fell downcasted, demonstrating very clearly how he felt that he wasn’t being taken seriously. He stepped forward to hug Mo Jingxuan into his arms, “I don’t want you to leave me entirely, just don’t treat me like a child anymore. I need space when I am changing or going to the restroom, you can’t follow me everywhere like you used to now.” He paused and smiled smugly, “Look, I can even hold you in my arms now!”

Mo Jingxuan pinched Xiao Ying’s chin as he was embraced, saying, “Okay, baby has grown up. I know; I won’t treat you like a child anymore.”

“Yeah,” Xiao Ying lowered his head to kiss the shadow in his arm tenderly.

Touching the crown of his head, Mo Jingxuan sighed, “Baby, if you are so insistent that you’ve grown up, you have to act like it too. We can’t kiss each other like we used to anymore, that’s something you need to reserve for your lover. I’m just your shadow.”

“Hehe~ Xuan won’t change the name he calls me and I won’t change the kisses I give him!” Xiao Ying laughed some more and kissed Mo Jingxuan a few more times.

Having no choice but to break out of his arms, Mo Jingxuan compromised, “Let’s both change slowly then. I’ll try and start calling you by your name too.” Switching topics before Xiao Ying objected, he asked, “Xiao Ying, are you hungry? What do you want to eat today? I’ll make whatever you want tonight.”

Thinking about it, Xiao Ying couldn’t decide, “I want to eat whatever Xuan likes.”

Mo Jingxuan nodded and walked to the kitchen, stretching the shadow out greatly.

It wasn’t until Mo Jingxuan closed the door that Xiao Ying put away the smile on his face and looked at his arms that were pushed away with a gloomy expression. “I really want to keep you in my arms forever….” he couldn’t help but mutter.

He smiled bitterly in response to his impossible urges. He no longer remembered when this strong possessive desire started, nor did he understand why he only felt this way towards Mo Jingxuan….It was obviously abnormal, but his life had never really been normal. He already had a shadow with a consciousness, after all….but he never really felt that this shadow was his. As if it could run away at any time, and if he didn’t hug it tight enough, it would grasp any chase given to escape. How much entanglement and pain would it cause Xuan to know how he felt? He could never let him know his feelings! If he did, his shadow might really leave him, going back to how it was when he was abandoned and unloved as a child.

“Baby, the food is ready!”

Xiao Ying withdrew his thoughts and went to the kitchen to serve himself a plate. He looked at the fried pork on the stove and was regretful, “It would be even better if we could eat together….”

Mo Jingxuan paused, “Do you still feel lonely?”

“No.” Xiao Ying denied quickly and raised his hand to Mo Jingxuan’s face, “I was just thinking aloud, you are obviously already by my side.”

Mo Jingxuan looked at him and wanted to cry, “Baby, I wish more and more that I was still human these days….”

Burying his face deep into the shadow, Xiao Ying didn’t respond but hugged him tightly. The shadow was held to his body as if he was trying to merge into one with the black whispy form.

No matter what Xuan said, he was content with him always being with him as a shadow. There was no way for him to leave like this….

But no matter how the two of them thought, it was the fate of Mo Jingxuan for him to continue his life as a shadow of Xiao Ying, year after year. Before they knew it, Xiao Ying was about to graduate his last year of University and begin to take over Xiao Yao’s management of the company.

Xiao Ying had turned twenty-one this year and was still as close as ever to Mo Jingxuan, neither of them having actually fulfilled their agreement to give each other personal space.

“Xuan, Zi Bo and the others will be coming over later. I plan on talking to them and persuading them to work for me after graduation, do you have any good ideas? I’m mainly stuck on how to get Zi Bo to agree, his self esteem is much higher than the others’.”

Mo Jingxuan smiled, “Don’t worry. As long as you open your mouth to ask him, Zi Bo will definitely be willing to come. He might have strong self-esteem, but he is still smart and will pick the better choice.” Based on his understanding of Zi Bo from his two lifetimes, there was no reason for Xiao Ying to worry.

Touching Mo Jingxuan’s head, Xiao Ying said, “I hope you’re right. I don’t have a firm foothold in the company right now, and if I had more people on my side, it would be of great help to me in improving my influence. Not to mention, Xiao Yixiu will be joining the company with me….”

Rubbing his fingers against his lips, Mo Jingxuan couldn’t help frowning, “Your father’s decision in this regard was really ill considered. There are so many ways for Xiao Yixiu to live a rich and prosperous life without giving him a job in the family business. Since he decided not to give him the right to inherit, he shouldn’t be kept as close as he is. By giving him the position of deputy general manager, does he want to help you two get along with you as general manager? It’s really a good dream! Xiao Yixiu is not an idiot, and behind him Zhao Lingjun still holds influence, he will not be able to resist the temptation of fighting for his share of inheritance.”

Xiao Ying wasn’t as worried as he had made it sound earlier, only having wanted more of Mo Jingxuan’s attention, and proudly declared his dominance over his Xuan, “You don’t need to pay attention to other people anymore. I can take care of them myself; you just need to stay by my side and keep me company.”

Mo Jingxuan had grown used to having close contact with Xiao Ying over the years; hardly a day had gone by without multiple hugs and cuddles between the two, and he took the initiative to lean into Xiao Ying at this moment. Lazily coaxing him he said, “I know how wonderful my baby is; I just hate the idea of leaving the flies buzzing around you alone for so long. Tsk, you need to find time to talk with your father about your relationship with Xiao Yixiu later.”

Playing with Mo Jingxuan’s hair, Xiao Ying agreed easily, “I’ll mention it when I have a chance.”

“Ding Dong”—-The sound of the doorbell interrupted their conversation.

Kissing Mo Jingxuan lightly, Xiao Ying nudged him away to go get it, “That should be Zi Bo and the others.”

Mo Jingxuan nodded, and his body gradually became transparent as he cast himself down to copy Xiao Ying, becoming invisible to anyone looking.

As soon as the door was opened, Xia Qifan couldn’t wait to rush into the room, “Xiao Ying, are you hiding a girl in here? What took you so long to open the door?”

Xiao Ying raised his eyebrows and looked at him pointedly, Xia Qifan taking the hint and shutting up immediately.

“Come on in.” Xiao Ying moved from the door frame, and the group bustled in one after another.

Watching them come in, there was one extra person following behind Zi Bo. Mo Jingxuan saw the man approaching Xiao Ying and couldn’t control his emotions at all, stretching out his form and aimed sharply for his neck, “Boom!” The bag of groceries in Zi Bo’s hand was knocked across the room without warning.

Zi Bo looked down at his hands with a puzzled expression on his face.

Having sensed that something was wrong with Mo Jingxuan, Xiao Ying had paid more attention and managed to stop him from reaching the newcomer in time. “This is…” Xiao Ying frowned as he glanced from the unknown face to the others, beckoning them to explain.

Xia Qifan slapped his thigh, “Ah! I forgot. This handsome guy is our junior, Mo Heng, he said he had always admired us four and came to ask for autographs. You’re the only one who hadn’t given him one, so we conveniently brought him along, haha….”

Xiao Ying studied Mo Heng closely, “Your surname is Mo?”

Revealing a polite smile, Mo Heng reached out to shake hands with Xiao Ying, “Yes, I’m a new freshman here. It’s nice to meet you, senior.”

Nodding, Xiao Ying shook his hand but had no intention of inviting him into the house, letting him stand by the door instead.

Mo Heng still showed a smile, portraying himself as a fan perfectly, “I have been hearing about your actions in school for so long and have always wanted to meet you, but you were always so busy. Today I came here without asking first because of my excitement in having a chance to finally speak to you, please forgive me Senior Xiao.”

“No problem,” Xiao Ying didn’t care about the unannounced arrival of a freshman; he was more interested in why his Xuan reacted so harshly to him, “We still have something to talk about today, so I’m afraid I won’t be able to entertain you.”

He waved his hands again, apologizing, “Sorry, I’m sorry! I’m the one who was being rude!” Mo Heng bowed one more time to the group before turning around to leave quickly. He got a couple of steps out before he seemed to remember something and came back to say, “I hope next time I meet you senior, you will be willing to sign my autograph!”

“This kid is not bad.” Xia Qifan stared at Mo Heng’s back as he commented.

Agreeing, Ren Yue nodded. “He’s pretty handsome and polite too.” But as she spoke, she cast a glance over to Xiao Ying, “It seems that Xiao Ying doesn’t like him though.”