Reborn as his Shadow - Chapter 9

“How is it, do you like it?” They were standing in front of the children’s room prepared for Xiao Ying as Xiao Yao asked with anticipation.

“I like it, thank you.”

Facing the fairy tale like room, Xiao Ying did not show the excitement that a boy his age should have, just thanking his father politely. Mo Jingxuan couldn’t help but think that even if this room was fifty times the cost of the old room Xiao Ying had, it would never measure up to its value in his heart. The amount of memories held in that broken house were enough to be counted as a fortune on their own.

Xiao Yao was watching Xiao Ying again, off in his own world once more, “I am your father, it is only natural that I do these things. You don’t need to say thank you to me, being polite is important, but I would hate it even more if we became ostracized because of it.”

The boy arched his brow at this, clearly skeptical of its truthfulness, but ended up agreeing in the end.

“That’s right. Well then, you must be tired after everything that has happened today, so go to bed first and I’ll call you when dinner is ready.” The expression Xiao Yao wore while saying this only served to highlight the indifference he had shown in front of his wife earlier.

Nudging the child towards the bed, he gently closed the door behind him. Standing motionless outside for a while, he pressed his forehead to the door before walking to his study with a cold face.

Xiao Ying waited in bed with his eyes closed until he heard the sound of footsteps retreat and slowly disappear before pulling his quilt off and calling for Mo Jingxuan.

“Huh?” Mo Jingxuan immediately noticed something wrong with his expression; the look he was showing was not something a five-year-old should be able to understand. “Xiao Ying, what’s going on?”

“Xuan, you can’t leave me, okay? Never!”

These words, this expression….Mo Jingxuan’s worry morphed into panic as his lives overlapped. How could they be so similar? No, they weren’t the same. His baby was still young; it was still okay! “What’s wrong baby? Why are you talking about this so suddenly? You’re not alone; you still have your father!”

This was not the answer he was looking for, and Xiao Ying sat up angrily, “Say it! Tell me that you won’t leave me!! You can never leave me, Xuan!”

His emotions were in chaos as Mo Jingxuan looked at the child having an outburst. He leaned forward to pat Xiao Ying’s back with his transparent hands, “I promise. I will never leave you, we’ll always be together….always.” His tone was as gentle as ever as he spoke, but only he knew the horribly strong anxiety he was holding right then. He was afraid. Afraid that he would influence this person again. Afraid that this person would end up repeating his mistakes. And afraid that he would end up living the same life that he had before.

His hand never left Xiao Ying’s back, waiting for his breath to stabilize before Mo Jingxuan continued to ask, “What’s wrong baby?” Why did his mood fluctuate so suddenly?

Xiao Ying’s spindly arms tightly hugged the shadow before him, “Xiao Yao belongs to that woman and her son, and that woman hates me very, very much.” After being excluded all his life, Xiao Ying was clearly able to feel when unfriendly emotions were directed towards him, and those that his new stepmother had were very obviously present. “Here….nothing belongs to me. I don’t need any of it, though, as long as I have you! If you are mine, I will be able to do anything!”

Understanding that the reason for his baby’s unrest was the entitled woman from earlier, Mo Jingxuan enforced his feelings towards her in his mind, still remembering not to show them on his face, no matter how volatile they were. “You don’t need to worry about that baby; you still have a very long and bright future ahead of you. You will get more and more friends, start your own family, have your own children, and make your own choices in everything that you do. You will definitely be happy….” Imagining the bright scene that he had just painted for Xiao Ying, Mo Jingxuan felt a slight pain in his heart.

However, he quickly brushed it off as Xiao Ying buried his face deep into Mo Jingxuan’s chest and said, “I don’t care about the future and who else will be in it. I only want you!”

Mo Jingxuan laughed as he brushed off the child’s words, “Okay, okay. Only me.”

It made sense that the child was a bit insecure, he was still young, and he went through so much in a day. He had to meet new people, dredge up old memories, and even move to an environment he had never been exposed to before. Being understanding of what he wanted was the least that Mo Jingxuan could do.

It’s just…why is he so paranoid at such a young age….He had hoped that he had come back early enough to be able to raise him properly, but if he was already twisted….?

Suddenly, the fact that Xiao Ying’s father was admitted to a nursing home due to mental illness in his previous life came to mind. Mo Jingxuan hugged the young boy in his arms tightly out of fear. Could it be….If genetics were involved, then what could he do?

Sighing heavily, Mo Jingxuan regretted not taking the initiative to understand Xiao Ying in his previous life. Now that he thought about it, he really knew very little about him at all.

He brushed off the messy thoughts in his mind and paid attention to Xiao Ying, lying back down in the bed after being reassured that his Xuan would always stay. “Baby, sleep well. I will be right by your side no matter what.” No matter what, he would be sure to protect him in this life.

Based on his experience in his previous lives, whether Xiao Ying’s madness was genetic or not, he just needed to keep him away from strong stimulation. Nothing bad could come of removing the things that would cause trouble in the future now. But what to start with…..?

The shrill voice of the woman from earlier rang out again in a timely manner, volunteering herself for Mo Jingxuan’s attention. She would be the first.

Xiao Ying was closing his eyes obediently to rest but was not quite ready to sleep. “Xuan, sing me a song. It’s been so long since someone has sung me to sleep.”

Mo Jingxuan helped tuck the corner of the quilt in for him and recalled the only nursery rhyme he could remember. Patting Xiao Ying’s stomach rhythmically, a deep male voice rang out in the room, singing:

“White little snowflakes are floating,

My little baby is sleeping,

Forget the sadness of the night, and dream away the day,

Slowly you will keep on growing,

Even if life is raining

My hands will shelter you from wind, so be sure to live, no matter what others say.”

Xiao Ying slept until evening when the housekeeper knocked on the door and woke him, “Young Master Ying. Dinner is ready.”

Mo Jingxuan coaxed the boy up and over to the door, which opened to reveal the middle-aged housekeeper waiting respectfully, “Master Ying, please come downstairs with me.” Seeing the child look around, presumably for his father, the housekeeper smiled honestly, “Master has gone to the company to deal with an emergency; he told me to guide you in his stead.”

Understanding, Xiao Ying followed the housekeeper to that table.

In the large dining room, there was only a simple marble table, grandly proclaiming its existence. As he walked into the room, he could feel the piercing glares of the mother and son already sitting down.

“You’re finally here? I don’t know how your bitch of a mother raised you, to be so uneducated to make your elders wait for you.”

Ma’am…” the butler spoke up in a troubled voice.

“What? As an elder can I not teach him proper etiquette? Or is Xiao Yao afraid that he will die from coming to eat on time?”

“It’s fine,” Xiao Ying replied for the butler, “but please pay attention to your own upbringing as well, auntie. My teacher said that civilized people don’t swear.”

“Oh, you think you are smart, hmm?” She got up and walked over to Xiao Ying’s side, leaning down to whisper, “Little boy, let me tell you. Even if Xiao Yao is protecting you, you will never be safe from me. I have plenty of ways to make you disappear from my life.”

The housekeeper took a step forward, “Ma’am, when the master went out, he told me to take good care of Young Master Ying, please don’t make things difficult.”

“Housekeeper Qin, have you lost your mind? I have always respected you; I know you have served my husband the longest out of anyone here, but let me ask you this! Who is the wife of Xiao Yao? It’s me! Me! I am the mistress of this family! And his son? Who is Xiao Yao’s son? It’s my Yixiu! He is the only young master of the Xiao family!” Pointing at Xiao Ying, she did not let up her rage, “He is a bastard who came out of nowhere, and you are calling him young master?! What kind of master is he? A bastard born from who knows where! You tell me this, what woman would allow other people’s children to share a father with her own?”

The housekeeper was unmoved, continuing slowly, “Madam, please don’t force me.”

“Force you, I won’t force you! How could I force you when I cannot order any of the people in this house? At the very least, I have my own people, I’m sure that the Zhao family will love to hear about what I am enduring in this house!” Zhao Lingjun stood up, grabbing Yixiu by the arm, “Aunt Li, bring our food to the small dining room upstairs. Let this boy eat by himself, I have no obligation to raise a wild child that I’ve met for the first time five years after his birth!”

“Yes,” Aunt Li bowed her head and began to pack up the main dishes. She had been brought over by Zhao Lingjun when she first married into the Xiao house, and her everything was centered around her.

Passing by Xiao Ying, the woman stopped one last time, “I hope you soon realize your situation. Don’t fantasize about what is not yours, these things are not what you can touch.” She looked down at her son for his opinion, “Yixiu, daddy is ours, we can’t let bad kids take him away, right?”

Yixiu nodded angrily, “Pff—” He spat at Xiao Ying, “Daddy is mine, you meanie. Don’t steal daddy from me!” He was still young, and he spat with spray, so at this moment, Xiao Ying’s face was covered with spittle.

Xiao Ying wiped his face coldly, “I don’t care about your father. I will not steal away something so unnecessary, there is no meaning in taking away something that will offer itself up to me whenever I want.”

Yixiu started to cry in protest, “Daddy is mine, daddy is mine!”

Zhao Lingjun raised her hand and slapped Xiao Ying with enough force to fling him to the ground. If not for Mo Jingxuan’s quick reaction to grab his head, it is unsure how badly his wound would be aggravated after only just scabbing over.

“Ma’am, what are you doing?!” The housekeeper could not hold back from stepping in any longer.

She wiped her hands in disdain, looking at Xiao Ying as if he were no more than trash, “Do not talk nonsense.” She ignored Housekeeper Qin and went directly upstairs with her son to eat.

Xiao Ying was smearing the blood from the corner of his mouth as he tried to rub it off. He staggered back to his feet and was about to follow the woman when he was dragged back.

Mo Jingxuan softly told him, “Baby, don’t be impulsive, leave this to me and I will pay her back in folds for what she did to you today.” His eyes were cold as he looked in the direction she had left.

“Young Master Ying, please let me make sure you are not hurt badly.” He checked over him carefully, full of self-blame for what had happened, “I apologize for not protecting you better. I will report this to the master no matter what!”

“No need. There’s no point in reporting every little thing to him.” Xiao Ying refused immediately.

“This—” Housekeeper Qin was at a loss.

“Go and do your work, don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.” Seeing the motionless housekeeper, Xiao Ying sighed and said, “Let me be alone for a while, please?”

Giving in, the housekeeper agreed, saying, “As you wish, Young Master. I’ll go to the kitchen and make some new food for you, so please stay here.”

Xiao Ying nodded and watched him leave. “Xuan.”

“Does the baby hurt?” Mo Jingxuan poked at his cheeks, his transparent fingers leaving clear imprints.

Rubbing his face further towards Mo Jingxuan’s hands, Xiao Ying closed his eyes, “It doesn’t hurt anymore.” He stopped before asking, “Why did you stop me? You said that I should pay back those who offend me, didn’t you?”

Mo Jingxuan shook his head, “We also have to pay attention to the method. If you hurt yourself eight hundred times over only to hurt the enemy one thousand times, have you really accomplished anything? My heart will hurt if I see you in pain.”

“Then how do I get back at her without hurting myself?” The child didn’t realize that his morals were being misled as he absorbed everything Mo Jingxuan said.

Small theater:

Xiao Ying’s school teacher: What does everyone think of repaying grievances with virtue?

Mo Jingxuan raising his eyebrow: Why would you repay that with virtue?

Xiao Ying: Yeah…why would you repay with virtue, teacher?

Xiao Ying’s school teacher: That….because it is the right thing to do?

Mo Jingxuan smirking: Really? Just because of morals?

Xiao Ying tilting his head in confusion: Morals? What are those?