Reborn princess: I will change my ill-fate - 144 Chapter 144. A realization

‘Master doesn’t take anyone as his pawns.’

That line ringed a bell in her head, but she couldn’t pinpoint where. Aeinshia, now sat up on the bed and began to delve into her past memories, to search for the familiarity of the sentence.

Suddenly, all her worries and the haunting words and feelings abandoned her mind and were set on the memory search. Aeinshia tried her best to remember all the scenes from the past, after the incident.

Despite being hurtful to remember, Aeinshia still tried to do it. The memories were now blurry, some situations were not clear. The words were even more confusing, as she couldn’t remember exactly what they said. In this kind of situation, it was hard to find those words, that occurred to her.

Aeinshia realized how bad she was trembling and she willed herself to relax. She moved back on her comfortable bed and rested her head on the heap of soft, white and cloudy pillows. She closed her eyes and calmed down her racing mind.

The painful memories were starting to play virtually again in her mind again, still a bit of blur. But, this time, Aeinshia was more focused on the words and situation, rather than the pain. She was on a mission, after all and emotions would be hindrance to her goal.

‘I hope we are together in this.

~ Maybe soon to be your Pawn.’

Those words read in her voice, echoing in her ears and the letters on an old brownish yellow paper displayed infront of her eyes.

Aeinshia’s eyes widened, as she finally got what she wanted.

“It is from that letter.”

The realization hit her hard. All the things that took place after that letter came to her, were history. Her life and even, she wasn’t normal anymore after she believed whoever was the person, and followed whatever they said.

Aeinshia closed her eyes and took deep breaths to start her thought process.

“What does this all mean? The master those men were talking about, is he the one who sent me the letter. But, that letter came much much later after that incident. Does that master have anything to do with the incident? They were talking about some troop, they can be anyone.

What are the odds that the master those men were talking about would be the person, who sent me the letter?”

Aeinshia spoke out loud to herself, as she was trying to solve the issue.

Aeinshia was having a stramge battle. One part of her, was saying this might be a coincidence. When we are playing by merging, anyone can use the word Pawn. Anyone, in daily can use that. She can’t assume things on her own.

On the other hand, the strong feeling that there is a connection between the two biggest turns of her life was pulling at her brain and heart.

“How can I find a sign or evidence or any type of words that they are indeed connected?” Aeinshia started to think out loud, to put together a plan in her head.

Moments passed, with Aeinshia fidgeting with her dress and the sheets and frowning, mumbling and finally ended with her frustratingly kicking at her sheets and some pillows.

“I can only find it, if I face them again.” Aeinshia said, with a frowning face accompanied with a irritated tone in her voice.

Aeinshia’s eyes widened, when she realized, what she said out loud. Realization dumped on her like a bucket of cold water. This is the reality of her life. No matter, how she tries to escape the situation, it keeps on making a round and made her to stand at the crossroads once again.

It was like her soul has completely drained out of her body. The plan that was forming in her head, was something she never wanted to do.

Aeinshia clutched her hair and screamed out loud. The stress and the pent up feelings were taking toll on her. She can’t seem to escape the situation, no matter how bard she tries to make it as simple as possible.

She fell back on bed and stayed like that, motionless. The negativities were once again, plaguing her mind. Dragging her down the pit of endless self blame and self pity.

‘We should take responsibility for our works. Facing the situation, would make it less scary and more challenging.’ Lucia’s words echoed through the darkness of thoughts.

Aeinshia got up from her bed and walked towards the big window beside her bed. She opened it and stared out at the bright land and sky outside of her window.

Aeinshia wanted her life to be bright like that. She wanted to be free from all the sins she committed and all the negative feelings she was building up. She wanted to love and give her love to the people surrounding her.

Yet, she was trapped in the darkness of her room and mind. Self blaming for the situation. The messy state of her room, was an exact depiction of the mess in her own life.

Now, she can easily cross the limit. The light from outside, from the freedom she desired was shining into her room, her darkness.

All she has to do open the window, the medium to free herself. And, that can be only done by her. Not by anyone. Not by Evan, not by Felix, not the Emperor’s guards, not anyone, but herself.

And, so she decided. It would be her, who would change her ill fate. She was not going to be a desperate girl, expecting a help from others. But, she would help herself to get her life together.

She would need the help of others, but the first step towards the brightness and freedom she wished should start from her and she would be doing it.

Aeinshia slowly walked towards her bed and sat down on the soft mattress. Her hands setteled beside her on the bed, as her eyes still remained on the outside scenery visible from the window.

It was just past noon and the sun was still bright and high in the sky. The rays were falling inside the room and the light reached the foot of bed and were touching at Aeinshia’s feet.

She could feel the heat from the rays and that was enough, for a small fire to light up inside her. Inspiring and pushing her to do something about the perpetrators, who dared to fool and use her.

A sudden rage took over her as she was remenicing all the memories and horrible situations, she was put into. She was naive and was an easy prey for them to destroy and use as a pawn to make place in the Palace.

All these thoughts were triggering her from inside. Now, she had only one thing in mind. She has to find those people and make sure that they suffer a hundred and thousand times greater for playing with her life and having the thought to destroy her empire.

The only way, she can achieve her  current goal is by facing the incident once again. But, this time, she would be prepared. She would prepared to face them and she was ready to take the risk now, which she was desperately avoiding from the time, the time was rewinded.

Aeinshia started to remember, what numbed her senses that day, when the attack took place. She remembered, how her body was out of her control. The usable senses, which could potentially be used to give resistance to the attackers, were blocked and no longer in her control.

The only thing she could do was hear and feel the horrible things they did to her. When those scenes started playing in her head again, Aeinshia shut her eyes tightly and calmed herself.

Instead, she shifted her focus to remember if she consumed something, that she had that kind of numbing sensation. She tried to remember, where and what she consumed.

They she was reminded of the meal of the midday, she had taken, at the house in the City Sylter, before starting her journey to the temple up the hill.

But, she couldn’t remember, what she ate or who was the one who served her. She tried to remember, but unfortunately, she didn’t memorize the faces of the people, who went along with her.

Yes, she thought that was unnecessary. That’s how blinded she was back then.

She could feel her confidence wavering as she didn’t seem to remember anything from that time. But, before she fell into the dark pit again, she stood up from her bed and walked around her room.

She collected as much she remembered from that journey and formed a small plan in her head.

This time, Princess Aeinshia Rutz would show and prove to those, that she is not naive and someone easy to be fooled and played with.