Reborn princess: I will change my ill-fate - 186 Chapter

Aeinshia rushed inside her chambers. She couldn’t stay a minute more in front of Peter. He looked so much in dilemma, it made her feel guilty to place him in such a tight situation.

She was genuinely guilty for stopping him from saying it, but she had to do it for Evan’s well being. She can’t be the reason for him falling behind and instead, she even promised herself that, she would do her best to protect his dreams and go along with him through thick and thin. So she really can’t bare if it’s she, who is standing there like an obstacle in his career.

Well, she thought that it was best if this issue is kept away from Evan. She knew well, this would anger Evan to no end. He may not show it, but if anyone dares to have any thoughts to even harm his loved ones, he would rain hell on them.

After all, he is very possessive and he isn’t really as good as he show in the picture, except for few. His unharmful looking face is just a facade, originally he really isn’t that easy to deal with and if it matters, he might be cruel than one can assume him to be.

She smiled unconsciously while thinking about Evan. He was lovely and sweet like that. Just thinking about his layered personality, Aeinshia felt her heart fluttering. Thinking about how only she could be able to receive romantic love from him, made her smile big.

She can trust Evan, about not cheating on her. Heavens knew, how she managed to think like a fool, that Evan would leave her and love that Lily of Carmondy empire. Even though, Evan always made sure that he was worthy of her love and trust, she didn’t believe him.

Now that she really thought about her past life, she came to that realization. She never really believed in Evan, even though, he constantly did everything to prove his love to her. She cursed herself to end, when she realized that.

Aeinshia exhaled loudly and shook her head roughly, again cursing herself internally. ‘ I must have been an idiot. Well, who am I talking about? I’m an idiot. Evan did everything and anything possible and I’m still doing the very same thing. He shows me how much he loves and cares for me, yet, I make him feel like I’m distant from him, not reciprocating his feelings.’

When these thoughts ran in her head, a sudden sadness took over her. It was the truth. She didn’t understand what was the exact reason. She was free and Evan was showing her more interest than the other life and is actually expressive about it.

But, still Aeinshia couldn’t bring out the reassurance that she too reciprocates the same feelings as him. She gave Evan her precious stone, but she couldn’t get the words out of her mouth.

Evan’s childhood, lacked of any words of reassurances. And, Aeinshia’s childhood lacked of any actions. They both faced the same treatment but by different methods. And, this exact thing made them similar, yet very different. After all, every person had their own faults and coping methods.

Tears were welling up in her eyes, when she thought, how Evan must think of her. He was so hardworking in showing his feelings. She knew it was hard part from his side, because he simply wasn’t the type to show his emotions, yet he was trying for her.

But, she? She was still stuck in the past. Afraid, what will happen, constantly walking  on eggshells, that something would go wrong and take away Evan from her. Feeding her paranoia that she would hurt Evan, but forgetting that she was doing the exact same thing now.

She walked towards the balcony of her chambers and lookd up into the sky. The sky was clear, lit with many stars and moon. The moon was looking very beautiful, dotted with small and shiny stars around it.

Her heart was beating really fast, while gazing at the beauty spread in front of her eyes. She put her hand over her chest, over her heart, wondering why was it beating so fast suddenly. And, she was also, feeling a weird kind of emotion inside her.

It was like happiness, love and sadness were fighting inside her, to see which one will overpower her. But, she felt it. The love. Her love for Evan, dominating every other thing in her system.

She looked at the moon and it was like there was a flower in her heart, that was in its bloom. Her heart was bursting with love, thinking about Evan. She heard somewhere and read in multiple novels, that moon sends the message of the loved ones, if its sent with pure love and sincerity.

‘Evan, how are you? Are you doing well? I hope you are and not stressing over me or Peter. I know you love me very much and you never failed to show it to me. But, I’m at fault in this one. I am the one, who is stopping from our love taking a full bloom.

What can I say? My past life and experiences are not very good. I hate to accept this, but I’m still traumized by all those incidents and feel like you are going to leave me, in this lifetime, too. I know I am acting like a crazy person, but I can’t help it, my love.

I’m saying all these words, because you won’t hear me. I wouldn’t dare to say all this to you in person. Maybe, one day, when we are really old, but not now. But, I hope whatever emotions I’m trying to convey, you would receive and understand them. Please, my love, don’t misunderstand me. Try to have it in your heart, to love me and to wait for me, till I solve all of this mess.

I really really love you. You are the first person, I fell in love with and would be the last person I would ever love. We both have our own demons to fight. I can’t tell you now, what I’m facing and I am sure, you also, can’t tell me what you are facing, but let’s stay together to give each other strength.

My love, please wait for your Aeinshia. I hope you wait for me to return all your love.’

Aeinshia wished she could say all this to Evan, but she knew it was not possible. So, she wished at least her emotions and what she felt, would be conveyed. She didn’t even know, if Evan would even feel anything, through this method, but humans live on hope to get something.

The world runs on hope and Aeinshia, too wishes her hope and trust on Evan would never fade and she promised tonight, under the moonlit sky and shining stars, that her love and trust would never leave Evan. Her heart would never love anyone except Evan.

With that in mind, Aeinshia slowly winked on her soft mattress and laid down on it. Her heart was still beating rapidly and she again brought her hand on to her chest. Her gaze never left the beautiful sky and she wished all her hopes and wishes would be fulfilled and have a simple life, with a family, as she saw in her dreams.

With her spirit and heart vibrating in high hopes and the soft mattress soothing her over worked body, accompanied with light and chilly night breeze and the satisfaction in her heart, sleep slowly sucked in Aeinshia’s consciousness. And, Aeinshia hoped to dream about her love, in her dreamland.

…

Slow chirping of the birds and the bright rays of the sun, disturbed the tranquil sleep of the Rutz Princess of the Seazle Empire. She slowly fluttered her eyes open and closed it as fast, she opened them, because of the bright light.

She was startled by the bright and heated rays, she woke up and saw the sun was already on its way towards noon. She realized she overslept. She hurried out of her bed and ran towards the door.

They were supposed to leave to the Capital, early in the morning. Or if the situations doesn’t allow, they were set to leave at least sometime after the sun rose from the horizon. But, they were past the time and running late.

When she pulled open the doors, she saw two maids were standing outside.

“Good morning, Princess Aeinshia.” They greeted with a bow, towards an anxious looking princess.