Regina Lena – To the Unforgiven - Chapter 36

“S-Stop it! It hurts! Aakh!”

 

The woman begged and screamed.

 

But Lynn ignored her. The command that filled his head was so loud that he couldn’t hear the woman’s weeping voice.

 

The command soaring from the source was absolute.

 

Bite, tear, destroy, subdue, dominate, chew the tender flesh and lick the blood.

 

And laugh.

 

Lynn did as he was told. To quench this thirst, he seemed to have to obey.

 

His whole body was hot. The heat was both pain and pleasure.

 

So Lynn laughed out loud. The blood that soaked his body in the rushing pleasure was fragrant. He felt it.

 

That was the last memory of that night.

 

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“It was morning when I woke up.”

 

Lynn’s voice as he recalled the past was heavy.

 

It’s already been 7 years since then, but Lynn remembered vividly what he had done that morning.

 

Sunlight was pouring through the window. Looking at the peaceful sunlight, Lynn thought blankly. He thought that he had a strange dream, and that the Imperial Palace was unfamiliar to him.

 

He was then shocked when he found dried blood on his clothes. Besides, when he woke up, the room was a mess.

 

Lynn couldn’t even imagine that it was his fault, and called the knights and servants in haste. Then he complained that someone had made a fuss in the middle of the night.

 

Then the people looked at Lynn with astonishment. He thought he was already used to being a spectacle, but that was the first time those people looked at him with such disgust.

 

“You didn’t remember anything?”

 

“I have fragmentary memories, but it was all like a dream.”

 

In response to Lynn’s gentle reply, Rena recalled the story she had heard from the Southern Duke.

 

—That bloke has a filthy hobby, seducing women and turning them into blood…

 

It seemed that she finally knew what the Southern Duke saw and what kind of misunderstanding he had.

 

He made a woman who approached him while his memory was cut off into a mess. It was definitely a scary thing. But it’s too extreme to decide to live alone for the rest of your life because of that one incident.

 

Rena needed more explanation.

 

“That’s why you decided not to get married?”

 

“It’s not just about that.”

 

“So?”

 

“Because it keeps happening.”

 

To Rena’s question, Lynn answered in a more subdued voice.

 

“I made up my mind after knowing what kind of person I am.”

 

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Lynn returned to the East, leaving the worst first impression on the nobles of the Imperial Palace.

 

Although there were bad stories about him, the prestige of the Eastern Duke was not to be broken by just that.

 

So Lynn covered the events of that day and diligently carried out the work ahead, slowly establishing himself as the owner of the East.

 

However, one problem remained.

 

That he was still edible. A boy duke without any family of the same blood. He was a gold vein that was strange not to aim at.

 

“This is my younger sister. It’s embarrassing for me to say, but it is said that she was the most beautiful woman in the East.”

 

“Greetings. Ah, this is my daughter. I brought her because she has a knack for music. I thought it might please you…”

 

“Your Grace, if you only focus on government affairs like that, you will get sick…”

 

The nobles, coveting power, struggled to form ties with the Eastern Duke.

 

Lynn was repulsed by his memories of the Imperial Palace, but he couldn’t beat all those who approached. He was still young and fragile.

 

Besides, the lonely boy had no choice but to like someone who smiled kindly. It was in an instant when one gave up their reasoning when their heart was moved.

 

But it didn’t last long with anyone. Unlike Lynn, who was content to share hearts, those people wanted a stronger relationship.

 

So, like the lady in the Imperial Palace, they rushed into it, and met the same conclusion.

 

“Your Grace, let me go! A-Aaakh!”

 

“It hurts! Kyaaaa! Save me…!”

 

The boy, who was usually quiet, changed suddenly when the relationship was ripe.

 

The moment a soft arm wrapped around his neck, the moment sweet lips touched his skin, and the moment the dizzying scent tickled the tip of his nose, he wounded the women who came to him, unable to resist the urge to explode.

 

As a result, if they were injured, and if they ran away, he came to his senses and despaired.

 

It wasn’t until Lynn repeated the same mistake several times that he realized that something out of his control existed inside his body.

 

And it was later learned that the successive Eastern dukes had suffered the same problem.

 

Eastern dukes could not fully touch their lovers. Even more so if they love their lovers. They became overwhelmed with sadism, injured their lover, and sometimes even killed them.

 

Lynn was forced to bear that harsh fate because of the power he never wanted. It was the cruelest thing for a boy who struggled with loneliness.

 

Lynn, who learned the truth, no longer stood by anyone. He decided to be alone for the rest of his life.

 

He was seventeen that year.

 

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Lynn finished speaking and looked at Rena with anxious eyes.

 

He felt like he revealed all his faults. Both as the Eastern Duke and as an individual.

 

But fortunately, Rena’s eyes remained calm even after the story was over.

 

“I understand.”

 

Rena just had an understanding expression. The truth of the rumors surrounding him, and the saying that the Emperor’s power was far from God’s blessing.

 

“Mr. Lynn is right. There is a curse behind an ability, how can that be a blessing?”

 

At Rena’s approval, Lynn was quietly relieved.

 

“But it’s a little unexpected. The Eastern Duke also has the same inherited problem as the Northern Duke.”

 

“It will be the same with the South and West. It’s just that unfortunately, the North was found out. The rest must be desperately hiding, as it is only a weakness if it’s known.”

 

Rena laughed at Lynn’s reply.

 

In other words, Lynn now revealed his weakness, which he desperately hid, to her.

 

Should she call this cute or quirky?

 

Rena looked at Lynn’s face, which was a span high, and said.

 

“I’ll touch you a little.”

 

Rena said so and stretched out her hand. Then she patted Lynn’s head gently before he even allowed her to.

 

“…What are you doing?”

 

“Encouraging.”

 

At the unexpected action and answer, Lynn put on an awkward expression. However, he did not avoid or block her hand stroking his hair.

 

“Is it okay to touch like this?”

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“Then how do I touch it so that it becomes a problem?”

 

Lynn stopped speaking, but Rena’s expression was serious.

 

Rena waited for his answer with clear eyes, and Lynn, who was agonizing, reluctantly answered.

 

“If you touch it badly.”

 

“Badly?”

 

“…Improperly.”

 

“Improperly?”

 

“Can’t you understand…?”

 

“Ah, so you mean dirtyly?”

 

Lynn looked at Rena, hating the blank look on her face. Then, he avoided her gaze with an awkward expression. It looked like he was embarrassed.

 

It was disappointing. Sharing affection with one’s lover is a very private part. And the problems arise after the confession itself is also a very intimate story.

 

So, one could fully understand the embarrassing feeling, but Rena’s simple reaction was a little funny.

 

‘Even on a topic where he has a lot of experience in.’

 

She heard that he had quite a lot of experiences like this since he was young, but he was still so shy about saying it.

 

Rena wondered if this Eastern bloke’s reaction was real or faked, then she suddenly remembered.

 

—Don’t like me too much.

 

The mysterious warning he gave to Rena the other day.

 

—It’s okay if you ‘like’ a lot. But, se…

 

—Se?

 

—… Romantic feeling. If you ever feel love… Please tell me.

 

[T/N: For old readers, I made suitable changes for Chapter 14 regarding this conversation a little bit. You don’t need to re-read it as I only changed the conversation part above]

 

At that time, Lynn was trying to say something, but he froze, and Rena didn’t pay much attention to what he said before because his words after that were absurd enough.

 

But now she just realized what it meant.

 

“Lynn said it before, to tell you if I ever feel love.”

 

Rena started suspiciously. Then she looked at Lynn with a questioning look.

 

“I wonder if that’s what you were originally trying to say….”

 

Immediately after, his hand covered Rena’s mouth. Not just one hand, but both hands.

 

Lynn covered Rena’s mouth as his face went pale, and Rena, whose mouth was suddenly covered, frowned and pursued him with her gaze.

 

Lynn persevered in a cold sweat. However, as the silent pressure continued, he eventually confessed in distress.

 

“That’s right.”

 

“What’s…”

 

“…You’re right, so don’t say it.”

 

Rena, more embarrassed by Lynn’s confession, looked at him with her eyes.

 

It wasn’t about romantic feeling at all, it was sexual desire.

 

What he originally intended to say was, ‘If you feel sexual desire for me, tell me’. So he warned her to be careful, because he could hit her if she run into him with sexual desire.

 

The man had some circumstances, and he warned the lady, whom he had just met less than a week, to restrain her sexual desire.

 

After confirming it, Rena spoke even though her mouth was still covered, because she was dumbfounded.

 

“Mr. Lynn, do you know how to pretend to be kind and to be subtly rude at the same time?”

 

Lynn apologized in a crawling voice.

 

Rena was still stunned, but when she saw Lynn’s arm that was getting closer than before, she relieved her frowning impression.

 

He was covering her mouth, revealing the inside of his sleeve. And there was a bandage on his arm that could be seen through his clothes.

 

Rena found the wound she had inflicted on him, and she finally sighed. She herself was in a bad position to say that kind of thing.

 

“Forget it, it’s already in the past.”

 

In the end, Rena took Lynn’s hands off, pretending she couldn’t win. Lynn stepped back calmly and grabbed the touch left on his hand.

 

“…Thank you, that must have been a difficult story to accept.”

 

Not about the sexual desire part, but the secret he had revealed.

 

Rena finally understood why Lynn said he couldn’t have a companion, so she decided to take one step closer to him.

 

“Since you told me honestly, I’ll confess to you too. The engagement I said yesterday was a pretext.”

 

“A pretext?”

 

“I thought Mr. Lynn would give up the alliance under such conditions.”

 

The Eastern Duke, who had a bright future, had many political opponents, so she thought of course there would be a fiancée in the East. Even if none was selected, at least there should be a candidate.

 

However, Rena’s prediction was wrong from the start, and in the end, only misunderstandings were built up.

 

When Rena confessed as if she was sorry, Lynn laughed in dismay.

 

Not because of the past agony, but because Rena’s misjudgment was absurd, and that the engagement was an excuse for refusal. Apparently this lady didn’t seem to know who she was.

 

“Then let’s forget about that…?”

 

“No. If it’s okay with Mr. Lynn, I want to do it.”

 

“It would be better that way, because it makes sense to help each other.”

 

Rena laughed vaguely at Lynn’s rational answer.

 

If they went around saying they love each other, no one would be able to argue about their cooperation. It was convenient in many ways, except for the possibility that the Southern Duke might collapse with foam in his mouth.

 

However, the real reason Rena decided to get engaged was different.

 

Rena wanted to let Lynn know that he was a person worthy of respect to a man like the Southern Duke, that is, to those who misunderstand him and slander him.

 

But Rena didn’t like to get her thoughts out of her mouth, because it was actually a useless meddling.

 

It was just that kind of heart that moved Rena. Rena liked that Lynn was kind. That’s why she wanted to help. It was a light heart, but she meant it.

 

“Then please take care of me, fiancee.”

 

Rena smiled and held out her hand.

 

Lynn looked at Rena’s smiling face for a moment, then he smiled awkwardly, as if he was imitating her. Then he lowered his gaze with his outstretched hand.

 

Rena’s hands were small. It was so small compared to himself that it was surprising.

 

Lynn took Rena’s hand with moderate strength, trying to hide his softly rushing heart.

 

If he gave it strength, the tension would show. If he released his power, a tremor would be transmitted. So he tried to pretend to be calm and held the lady’s dazzling hand.

 

Under the moonlight, Rena’s smile deepened. Lynn’s heart ached and his brow twitched slightly.

 

Rena thought that Lynn’s proposal of an alliance was in the interests of the East.

 

Lynn knew that Rena was misunderstanding, but he didn’t bother to explain it. He actually couldn’t explain.

 

If he joined forces with Rena, sure, it would be of great help to the East. But that wasn’t the reason Lynn proposed an alliance. If anyone knew, they would say he was not qualified to be the Eastern Duke, because at that time, there was no the East in Lynn’s mind.

 

He was very surprised when he heard that Rena had died.

 

He couldn’t believe it, and he didn’t want to believe it. He felt strange to stand alone in a world where there might not be her. Even if the moon disappeared from the sky, it would not be so vain.

 

Then, when he saw Rena alive, he couldn’t think of anything else because he was relieved.

 

It was funny. How long has it been since they met, how much do they know each other? Lynn laughed at his own heart, but did not deny it.

 

He couldn’t get a mate anyway. He could not be touched, embraced, and loved, so his heart belonged to things that were never to be revealed, like secrets or weaknesses.

 

Fortunately, Lynn was used to being patient. He knew how to be content with the little things.

 

That was why he proposed an alliance.

 

Lynn just wanted to prevent Rena from disappearing. He wanted her to be somewhere in the world he lives in. Close if possible, and far if not possible.

 

Could anyone explain this?

 

Lynn looked at Rena, hiding his heart well. Rena didn’t seem to notice his thought at all.

 

So Lynn thought how lucky he was, and smiled softly.

 

 

 

The author’s words:

Lynn, 20 years old. Tend to climb up to the fireplace quietly.

 

Translator’s words:

Lynn, 20 years old. Our natural born eunuch. Just kidding.