Regression Is Too Much - Chapter 114
Inside a quiet café, only the soft music playing breaks the silence. Choi Ji-won is speechless, unable to respond.
“…What?”
“I said, I’m a regressor.”
“…”
What would it feel like if someone you knew came to you for advice, only to suddenly tell you they’re a regressor? I’m not sure. Probably disbelief, right?
But Choi Ji-won’s reaction was far more intense than I expected.
“Are you out of your mind? What the hell?”
“…What?”
“Does this look like a joke to you? I agreed to talk, and then what? You’re a regressor? You think because I called you ‘Jun-ho nim’ you actually are some kind of lord?”
Her reaction was much colder than I anticipated. She stared at me with frozen eyes, her face completely devoid of emotion.
The sight triggered memories of the PTSD from the tutorial. Right, I used to get beaten up by Choi Ji-won with that same expression, over and over, in countless loops. It’s almost nostalgic seeing her like this again.
And I had a good idea of why she suddenly flipped out.
“Is it Bung-bung?”
“…What?”
“It is, isn’t it?”
Bung-bung, the one who repeatedly sent me back to the start in the tutorial. I had a feeling this was it. Its tone had become a lot more lively than before, which threw me off for a moment, but there’s no way Choi Ji-won would act like that.
“You—how do you…”
Bung-bung’s words trailed off, and it began to babble incoherently. Clearly flustered, its hands fidgeted restlessly, and then, as if it had nothing left to say, it went silent, retreating into the background. That meant Choi Ji-won’s true consciousness had returned.
“How… did you know?”
Choi Ji-won’s face now mirrored Bung-bung’s earlier shock. She had never told me about Bung-bung on the second floor. It’s only natural for her to be rattled, given that I knew a secret I shouldn’t have known.
“I told you, I’m a regressor.”
“…You weren’t joking?”
“No, I wasn’t. Let me explain everything from the beginning.”
I cleared my throat and began to slowly recount everything that had happened up until now.
“We first met during the tutorial.”
I explained how I chose Choi Ji-won to learn swordsmanship in the tutorial’s vacant field.
How I tried lying, only to be cut down repeatedly by Bung-bung.
The encounter with the goblin shaman, the betrayal, and how everything fell apart.
The moment when, after knowing I was trapped in a time loop, we exchanged our true feelings. The time spent with a friend who genuinely supported me.
“Do you remember the second floor? We cleared it together before moving on to the third.”
I recounted how we fought against the unfair structure of the second floor, struggling with everything we had.
How I waited for her until she arrived, and together we finally freed the city’s ruler.
“We split up on the third floor, didn’t we?”
I told her about meeting new people on the third floor.
How I repeated the time loop over and over, trying to get past the arrow traps.
And at the very end, how I was betrayed by Dok Su-hee, but managed to sever her arm in retaliation…
“I think the fourth floor was the hardest. It was cold, long, and… people kept dying…”
…The information I had gathered from repeating countless regressions on the fourth floor.
And the dilemma I now faced: saving the people on the fourth floor or convincing Choi Ji-won. The choice between the two.
“Whew, I’m thirsty.”
After recounting everything—enough material to fill at least 110 chapters if written as a novel—I sipped on my Frappuccino to quench my thirst.
“So, what do you think?”
“…About what?”
“Your thoughts.”
“…”
-Slurp.
Choi Ji-won took her time answering, drinking her iced Americano. After a pause, she finally spoke.
“I believe you’re a regressor. But… I’m not sure.”
“…”
“I’m just… not sure.”
The story of me that Choi Ji-won didn’t know. The story of Choi Ji-won that she didn’t know. Even though I was telling her all this, it wasn’t as if she suddenly felt a deep connection or understanding. She simply acknowledged it with a quiet, “I see.”
“There are plenty of things I could say. Things like, ‘You must’ve had a hard time,’ or ‘You’re amazing,’ or ‘That’s impressive,’ but I don’t think those would be genuine coming from me.”
Choi Ji-won didn’t resort to the typical, superficial remarks anyone could offer. Because I was being serious, she wanted to respond with sincerity.
“To be honest, I’m curious. Why are you telling me all of this? Why are you sharing your story about the fourth floor with me?”
As she spoke, she pulled out Bung-bung from her bag and gently stroked it. A moment of surprise flashed in the eyes of the café worker, but the owner, who seemed used to the sight, stopped the employee from calling the police.
“In the tutorial… we were really close, weren’t we?”
“That’s right.”
“Then you must know how I’m going to respond.”
Of course. The Choi Ji-won I know wouldn’t be happy if I left the people in front of me to come help her. There were also practical issues to consider.
“Plus, even if you came to me directly, there’s no guarantee that I could save everyone, right? I don’t have that ‘Hero’ trait you mentioned, nor do I have the Curiosity or Awe traits… And most importantly, I wouldn’t be certain that this is the right path. You said it yourself that you couldn’t be sure.”
“…”
“In other words, the chances are slim.”
Choi Ji-won echoed the exact concerns I had thought of, her expression filled with sadness.
Her strengths lie in swordsmanship, combat sense, physical abilities, and her observation skills. Like me, she shares a weakness in dealing with large-scale threats. The fourth floor doesn’t suit her well.
“So, we’re back to the original question… Why did you tell me all of this?”
“…”
Why did I reveal to her that I’m a regressor?
Why did I want to meet her again and have this conversation?
“I wanted to know.”
“…Know what?”
“I wanted to know what I think of you.”
I wanted to see how I would react while talking to her.
After spending so much time on the fourth floor, it had been a long time since I last saw Choi Ji-won. I wanted to understand what feelings I had when I saw her again. How would I treat her?
By telling her about my past, I wasn’t just speaking to her—I was also speaking to myself. I was retracing my steps, reflecting on the path I had taken.
And as I spoke, the emotions I felt… was sadness.
I was sad that I couldn’t finish the second and third floors perfectly.
I was sad that I had to choose between the people on the fourth floor and Choi Ji-won.
I was sad that the Choi Ji-won in front of me was so different from the one I remembered.
I was sad that the woman who once set her sights on lofty ideals was now speaking of impossibilities.
I was sad that she had been broken after facing death and loss.
Of course, that doesn’t mean she’s any less precious. Even though she’s lost her memories, and our relationship has grown distant, she is still a companion climbing the tower with me. She’s someone who could help lead this world.
But… we’re no longer friends.
She calls me “Jun-ho nim,” and I call her “Ji-won nim.” We’re business partners. That’s the distance between us now. All I did was confirm it.
“I’m sorry.”
“…”
“I’m sorry for my rudeness.”
The Choi Ji-won from the vacant field and the Choi Ji-won in front of me are different people. We’re not close anymore.
What could be more distasteful than projecting someone else onto the person in front of you? I had committed a grave offense.
I stood up, bowed deeply to apologize, and turned to leave the café. After refining my mana properly, I would regress to the past.
“Hoo.”
With that, I settled my feelings. If I regress, I’ll give up on Choi Ji-won.
After all, even having conquered the fourth floor was a remarkable achievement. This isn’t a compromise. It was impossible from the start, so what is there to compromise?
I shouldn’t cling to what can’t be done. I need to look forward and move on.
‘Okay, then.’
I had completely let go of my feelings for Choi Ji-won.
“Wait.”
Or at least, I almost had.
“…?”
“Sit down.”
With hollow eyes, Choi Ji-won grabbed my wrist tightly—so tightly that if she squeezed a bit harder, I might’ve been forced to regress; Her grip was that strong.
“Wh-what is it?”
“In the end, you’re upset because the ‘Choi Ji-won from the tutorial’ and the ‘Choi Ji-won now’ are too different, right?”
“…In extreme terms, yes.”
“What’s so different about them?”
“…”
There were many words that came to mind, but none of them came out easily, as if they were bottlenecked in my throat.
The differences between the Choi Ji-won now and the one from back then. There were so many, it was hard to count. The most basic difference was the lack of closeness. But if I had to sum it up in one sentence, the Choi Ji-won from the tutorial was a shining hero.
She was someone I could look up to, someone I could follow, someone I could respect. That was who Choi Ji-won was.
But now, that image had faded. Partly because I had become stronger, and partly because the Choi Ji-won before me had just tasted bitter failure and was struggling.
The disconnect between the Choi Ji-won I remembered and the one in reality only widened the gap in my heart. Perhaps the Choi Ji-won of my memories had grown too large in my mind.
“So…”
Just as I was about to carefully explain this in words, our eyes met.
“Say it clearly, once again.”
Was it simple curiosity? Or maybe it was her pride that was hurt? Maybe it was both.
As I stared into her eyes, swirling with a mixture of emotions, I found myself unable to continue.
“Tell me who this Choi Ji-won you remember is.”
Because in her pupils, I could see a light slowly beginning to shine.
– – – End of Chapter – – –
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