Regression Is Too Much - Chapter 117

A week passed.

“Hey, didn’t you say your hobby is visiting famous restaurants? I heard the noodles here are amazing. Interested?”

Another week went by.

“There’s an aquarium and a café here? Let’s check it out. Whoa, why is the price like this?”

Time continued to pass.

Restaurants. Cafés. Movie theaters. Parks. PC rooms. Amusement parks. Hanok villages. Botanical gardens. Lakes. Gyeongbokgung Palace.

The time we spent together piled up. The memories we shared increased. Slowly, a subtle tension grew between us.

It was such a joyful time, so fun that it made me forget all the hell I’d been through in the snowy mountains of the 4th floor.

The truth I’d come to realize again was that I was incredibly lonely. Every time I regressed, people reacted the same way. They moved as I had planned. If I used my abilities, they obediently followed my words.

“Can’t I just have a bite of that? No? Well, I’m going to eat it anyway.”

That’s not how human relationships work. Human relationships are about different people coming together, causing all sorts of reactions.

It was something I’d finally come to understand.

“Wow, today was really fun.”

“It would’ve been perfect if you didn’t break the puzzle at the escape room café.”

“What? Kim Jun-ho, do you want to die?”

Choi Ji-won and I were already friends. After months of being with each other, it just happened naturally.

“…”

In that moment of realization, I felt that the time was near. Because…

‘Time flows relentlessly.’

***

It was a dark, deserted street. The only light came from the occasional street lamp flickering on.

“…”

“…”

Choi Ji-won and I walked in silence. People say that when silence isn’t awkward between two people, they’re true friends. But the silence between us right now felt unbearably uncomfortable.

“Ji-won.”

“Yeah?”

For the first time, I called her by her name. It felt awkward, but somehow necessary.

What I was about to say would stay with me forever. And I wanted to call her by her name when I thought back to this memory.

I cleared my throat, adjusted my clothes for no reason, and finally spoke the words I’d rehearsed countless times in my head.

“I’m going to regress.”

“…”

Ji-won said nothing, but her expression wasn’t one of shock. Instead, it felt like she was expecting this moment.

“If you look at the news these days, all they talk about are players. Who committed what crime, who’s amazing, who’s getting stronger… I heard some lunatic massacred dozens of other players.”

“…”

“Look at us. We’ve barely cleared the 4th floor, and we’re already more physically capable than Olympic gold medalists. If this is what it’s like now, what happens when we reach the 10th floor? The 20th? The 50th? Just how powerful will we become? How unstable will society get? If we don’t clear the tower as fast as possible, the world might be destroyed by players.”

I stood there, reciting the words I had prepared mechanically. They were meant for Ji-won, but also myself.

“So, for everyone’s sake… I have to regress. I can’t let the world end just because I want to enjoy myself.”

I didn’t want to regress. But I had to. For everyone.

-Tap.

Ji-won’s footsteps came to a stop. I stopped as well.

We stood under the streetlamp, both of us staring at the ground.

“Aren’t you mad at me?”

Ji-won asked cautiously.

“You said it yourself. Every time you regress, it hurts too much to lose the people you got close to. You didn’t want to get close to anyone anymore, and you were going to keep your distance. But because of me, we got close, didn’t we?”

“…Yeah.”

The moment she said, ‘See you next week,’ I knew this moment was coming. I knew it would be wiser to regress right away.

“I guess… I was struggling too.”

Like someone who reaches for a cigarette knowing it’s bad for them, I think my judgment got clouded by loneliness. I chose a future that could only end in ruin.

Ji-won chuckled as she watched me scratch the back of my head awkwardly.

“Jun-ho, Kim Junho. Do you know what your face looked like when I first saw you in the café?”

“What?”

“You just had this blank expression. Like a person who didn’t have a soul.”

“…”

“I kept thinking about it, and honestly, you’re really strange.”

Ji-won circled around me as she spoke.

“When we hang out, you seem like a regular guy. Like if I had a normal guy friend, I’d imagine it would feel just like this.”

“Well, I am just a regular guy your age.”

“But your actions, they say otherwise.”

Ji-won stopped walking and stood behind me.

“Saying you want to save everyone? Repeating your regression because you can’t bear the thought of someone dying? Most people would’ve given up by now. They would’ve found some middle ground.”

“…If I didn’t have the power to regress, I would’ve given up too.”

But that’s not the case. I was given a tool that allowed me to achieve the best possible outcome, and giving up would feel like neglecting my duty.

“No, Jun-ho. It’s your mindset that’s different.”

I couldn’t see her face, but somehow, I could feel that Ji-won was smiling.

“You keep saying you’re just an ordinary guy, and your actions mostly reflect that, but… your sense of responsibility is off the charts. No one’s threatening you with ‘If you don’t do it, the world will end!’ but here you are.”

“It could really end if I didn’t do anything, though.”

“Most people don’t think like that. If anything, they’d think, ’It’s just me, what difference does it make?’”

Ji-won’s tone shifted suddenly, after almost complimenting me.

“But what about you? What happens to you as you wear yourself down through all this?”

“…”

“Even if you clear the tower all the way to the top with those empty eyes I saw back in the café… What about you?”

“I’m trying my best to avoid that kind of situation.”

“Has it worked?”

“…No.”

Hadn’t I felt it so painfully on the 3rd and 4th floors? That strange feeling where people stopped looking like people.

“But… What else can I do? If I don’t do it, the world might end.”

Honestly, it’s still hard for me to fully grasp. The world is going to end? When? How? There’s nothing concrete.

But that’s precisely the tower’s trap, and I knew it. That’s why I couldn’t stop.

I might stray along the way. I could waste time. But right before moving on to the next floor, I had to give it my all to get the best possible outcome. That’s the only answer I’ve come up with.

“…”

In the silence, Ji-won’s slightly rough hand reached out from behind and gently held my hand.

“Do you know what my ideal type is?”

“…What is it?”

“Someone I can respect. Like my father.”

“…”

“You’re… kind of amazing.”

Ji-won’s voice trembled.

Hearing that, my breath grew shallow. It felt like the blood was draining from my head.

“At first, it was all just curiosity. But now, it’s not.”

“Don’t do this.”

“I know this might hurt you. Maybe you’ll end up hating me, cursing me for years, thinking I’m a terrible person.”

“Please, no…”

“But I think this is better than watching you turn into some emotionless machine. For you to stay Kim Jun-ho, the person you are… this is the right thing to do. Just like how you used to think of the Choi Ji-won from the tutorial whenever you struggled, I want you to remember me like that.”

I forcefully pulled away from Ji-won’s tightly clasped hand, turning my body.

“You’re an amazing person, really. So just keep being that way. I’ll be rooting for you.”

In the quiet street, under the dim streetlight, I finally faced Ji-won; she was crying.

But she was smiling through her tears, trying so hard to hold it together.

We both knew what was right. We just couldn’t accept it in our hearts.

“If you… do this…”

“…”

“If you do this, how am I supposed to leave?”

I’ve always been alone. I had countless people around me, but none were truly friends.

Ji-won was the first real friend I’d had in so long. No, I already thought of her as something more.

“You could’ve just been cruel, you know…”

At least if she had been harsh, I could distance myself. She could’ve insulted me, spat on me, made it easier to walk away. But this kind of farewell… how was I supposed to accept it?

“I don’t want to say goodbye…”

I pulled her into a tight embrace. Neither of us said it out loud, but we both already understood.

We recognized each other’s abilities and character. We acknowledged each other as comrades to face the tower together.

And as friends, we knew we were a perfect match.

It was fun being together. But we couldn’t stay together.

Even if I regressed and met Ji-won again, she wouldn’t be the same person.

Just like the Ji-won standing before me isn’t the same as the one from the tutorial, the new Ji-won won’t be this one either.

All the warmth and joy I felt up to now pierced my heart like a dagger. I considered throwing it all away, abandoning the mission, and just moving on to the 5th floor.

-Grip.

Her hands gently grabbed my cheeks.

“Listen carefully. I won’t say this twice.”

Ji-won, now free from tears, looked directly into my eyes.

“I’m not sure if it’s love yet. But… I really like you.”

And then, without warning, she kissed me. A sharp, tingling sensation came upon me as her tongue brushed mine.

It was a blissful feeling, mixed with her scent, and then… came a faint taste of blood.

You’ve been injured. Returning to the moment you first entered the 4th floor.

***

“…Ah.”

I was back on the 4th floor.

– – – End of Chapter – – –

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