Regressor, Possessor, Reincarnator - Chapter 58

“…I see.” Linbelle nodded absentmindedly. “So, you knew everything.”

“Knew what?”

“About me.” Now she understood it, his undying expectations and burdensome goodwill. “You must have known what my future holds.”

“I suppose so.”

Her voice raised with a sharp edge. “You knew what I would do.”

“Yes.” What was there to hide? Now that he’d said this much, he didn’t have to hide it anymore.

“Is that why you didn’t like me?”

Allen gave a dry smile. “If you felt that way, I apologize.”

“No, no, that’s not it.” It wasn’t like that. Her feelings now weren’t anything like that. He had saved her, after all. Mere thanks wouldn’t be nearly enough.

But as for the reason she felt so upset…

“Why?”

Why was she so sensitive?

“Why are you making that face?”

“What?”

Yes, it was because of that.

“Why do you look like you’ve reached the end?”

His face was exhausted, devoid of hope, as if it were all over.

“You said you were going to save your brother. You said he’s still alive, so why…”

She didn’t want to see that look on his face.

The Allen she knew had always been a relaxed person. Or at least, he wasn’t a person who was struggling with despair like this.

“Are you giving up?”

“Well, what else should I do?”

Keep going? Without needing a reason?

“You don’t know unless you try.”

Allen let out a sardonic laugh at her ignorance. “You want me to hang on to dreams that have already come to an end?”

What could he even do?

Allen’s haggard face began to pale.

Rachael had committed suicide, deprived of her position as successor. He had devoted all of his youth to studying magic, and now he had regular seizures. He had to rely on medication to sleep through the night and couldn’t stand the day without alcohol. His honor has been run into the ground, and everyone pointed fingers at him—the madman. After his shallow relationship with his family crumbled further, even the servants came to shun him.

What more could he do?

Sob.

What more was left for him to give up? What was next?

He couldn’t breathe. He felt a tightness in his throat, so tight that he could barely swallow the medication in his hand.

The outcome had already been determined, but he couldn’t completely give up either.

He was alive, yet there was no way to save his brother.

Here in his small room, he was waiting on death row.

“Sir, it’s all right…” Linbelle hurried towards his seething figure, speaking in a worried tone.

Letting go of her hand, Allen squeezed out, “I… I’m not the person you used to know.” He replied to her with that same sneer. “So you don’t have to try and get close to me.”

He rose quietly and threw himself onto the bed in the corner of the small room. Since there was no chance of success, he would just give up. He would rather make a deal with the devil, if only it would offer him even a glimmer of hope.

However, it was already confirmed that that, too, would fail.

“…I’ll help you get back. Don’t worry.”

There was no reason to face the fear that was coming.

No reply answered him… and then came the sound of her leaving the room.

Time began to pass.

Allen completely gave up on saving Julius. All he had left were alcohol and cigarettes.

“Look at this, sir, look! It’s pretty delicious today.”

And one maid who was everything.

She came in with food she had cooked herself.

“I don’t need it.” Allen emptied the remaining contents of his bottle.

She became a member of the manor’s community, making excuses that she’d made a full recovery—no longer dead.

“Who told you to bring me food? I’m not your real master, anyway.”

“I am your maid,” she answered as if it were just a fact.

Allen laughed. “Do whatever you want.”

As long as Julius was alive, he couldn’t let his own life end.

He was nothing short of a living corpse.

“Alright! I got it!” She smiled, face free of wrinkles, and started cleaning his room.

And like that, a month passed.

“Why are you here? I think Julius was here the other day.”

Still, she was by Allen’s side.

“It would be better to follow him, so you can go back.”

“But you wouldn’t actually want that.”

Her sincerity was so warm, to the point where he wanted to lean on her, if only for a moment.

“Oh, sir. You said you’d do me a favor last time, right?”

“…Yes, I did.”

He remembered nodding his head under the influence of alcohol.

“Please call up the people who can use prana.”

Her eyes twinkled like stars.

“As many as you can.”

That starlight was cozy, bright enough to shine through the darkness.

It had been two years since she had arrived there.

Linbelle’s routine was no longer confined to Allen’s room.

“What’s the reason?”

Traces of her presence covered the whole training ground. They had already discovered that the world was one created by the god.

“You won’t even be able to keep that skill unless we pass the trial.”

“It’s something I can do to help you.” She smiled cheerfully. It was a smile directly opposed to Pure Black, the sword he held in his hand.

“It’s useless,” Allen said, undermining her efforts. This was simply some short-lived entertainment. “You will fail.”

“You don’t know what’ll happen unless you try, right? I’ll give it a try instead of you. Over and over.”

Allen did not respond.

She still couldn’t handle prana, but her expression remained the same. At some point, she stopped asking him to call others for support.

He looked for her around the manor periodically and often found her meditating.

“Linbelle, what are you doing?”

“Pledge to the highest chivalry, take the oath, and keep promises until fulfilled.”

She didn’t hear Allen.

“Why does prana need to express feelings?”

Why did it have to be like that?

Mana, divine power, and aura all had their roots.

“But why is prana the only one you say is ‘noble’? Are the other forces insignificant in comparison? Why does prana need to react to emotions?”

She dug into the nature of prana’s power.

“Prana is strongly influenced by emotions. Why?”

It gathered power through the incorporation of intense emotions, and the magnitude of its force changed according to their concentration.

“But what if you don’t put any emotion into it?”

She began to swing her sword.

“You have to go blind with emotion to use it—to go overboard and lose yourself, because normally, you wouldn’t be good enough.”

The shadow danced along with the sword.

Pure Black vibrated in unison with the swords.

“Because you can’t use it when you’re in a normal state.”

Do it. Do it.

If it’s not fully there, then just give up.

“Restraining yourself. Swearing vengeance. Standing by your wishes. Dedicating your whole life. And…”

Falling into the abyss.

Longing for it. Desiring it. Needing it.

“Wishing, hoping, longing, wanting, praying.”

She’d seen and experienced a lot over the years here.

Knights who sacrificed themselves to protect others. A king who swore to a large audience his declaration so that he might not forget his promise. A warrior who promised to protect his family’s wishes.

“Until only one emotion is left.”

She’d had a discussion with some knights. There, she heard a rumor about the king, that he battled against a warrior.

And…

“So if you hope to achieve total immersion, dwell right there for an eternity.”

And she learned of the end of another ‘her’, who’d lost her mother and vowed revenge.

“Is this what that noble power is supposed to be?”

She let out a cynical laugh.

“I didn’t have to despair so much just because I couldn’t use it.”

She let go of the sword.

No, it was that obsession with which she had bound herself in the past.

“…Have you made any progress?”

“Not yet, but… I suppose you must be looking forward to it. Hehe.”

“Ha, you little punk.” Still, Allen could not understand Linbelle. “You won’t be able to do it.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t give up.”

* * *

* * *

Time flew by even faster.

The fame attached to Julius’s name grew day by day, as Allen’s reputation gradually declined, getting dragged through the mud. Even lower, if possible.

At some point she started spending more and more time with Allen.

The aimless time they spent together piled up.

Allen prepared for the end.

And at the end of his fleeting, pointless life…

“What are you going to do?”

Julius said he would go alone to investigate the remains of some recent disaster in the mountains.

“I don’t know what the real impact of him dying here would actually have.”

If he couldn’t save him, then he’d kill him.

He would die, because he could not live.

“I’ll go with you.”

“You should be able to leave in a little while.”

“I’m your maid.”

Allen replied with a desolate smile. “…Do as you please.”

Their attack on Julius was, of course, unsuccessful. All attacks were easily blocked, and most of the traps were broken before they could be used. Contrary to the information he’d heard, he had a colleague.

A broken arm and terrible burns across his body—that was the price of attacking him.

‘As expected, this is what happens.’

He actually had known that their ambush would fail, and yet he had proceeded anyway.

‘I couldn’t hold out any longer.’

As he passed by his life’s milestones, the hope he had maintained slowly dwindled.

‘Julius, my brother. I’ll see you soon.’

Would there be an afterlife in this fantasy?

He closed his eyes waiting for his approaching death.

“…Argh! Raniel!”

A high shout rang through the mountains. It was the voice of one of Julius’s men.

“Lin— Linbelle, how could you do this?! Raniel was so good to you!”

“Sir.” She ignored his voice and called out to Allen.

“What?”

“Do you still think the same way as before?”

“Of course.” How could he not want to give up by this point?

“Stop trying to give up. Run away. I’ve finally got him.”

Allen calmly came to his senses as he heard the explosion in the distance. “Really?”

“Yes, run away. Hide until someone finishes the trial,” she replied with a big smile.

“Well, I’ll show you.”

She moved, not needing to hear an answer.

Allen had no idea what was going on.

“What do you mean?”

“You were brainwashed. Just kill him!”

“One of our own has been killed. There’s no need to let him live.”

“For Raniel’s revenge!”

Balls of flames and chunks of steel fell like rain.

The heavily armored warriors flew into action like arrows.

“It’s just like you said. The future cannot be changed. This is just a fake projection of the future that would’ve come from the past.”

She kicked the ground lightly.

“But that’s not true. This place is just a part of the trial designed by the god.”

A brisk snowstorm cooled his hot skin.

“You can try to break out of it as much as you want.”

Closeby, a veteran who’d undergone numerous battles raised a thick axe.

Her sword still remained bare.

“Die!”

The black sword drew a semicircle.

Shwoom!

“…Kaden!”

“H-how did you break through my defensive magic…!”

The warrior was torn down.

“As long as you don’t give up, you can do pretty much anything. I’ll show you that.”

Dozens of spells poured down from the sky.

“Right here.”

Each step shook the ground.

‘Ah.’

A life was taken each time she swung her sword.

“Why isn’t my magic working?

“Hurry, hurry, stop them! Stop them!”

The expensive shields shone brightly, blocking the blue barrier.

The lack of debris covering her sword contrasted their weapons.

Clang! Clang!

He felt strange hearing all the screaming as the explosions intensified.

“Alright, alright, now stop running away.”

Her sword began to decapitate the scattering fugitives.

Red blood soaked the white snow.

“Whatever you do, you won’t reach him!”

“No, I will.” Her whisper pierced their ears.

“…Why?” Allen scrunched up his face. “Why are you doing this? I’m not really ‘Allen’, anyway, so why?”

“Because I know.”

Her warm voice shone over his chilled body.

“I know that feeling, the desperation for something you know you can’t reach.”

Step, step.

“Because that feeling of desperation is eternal.”

“Linbelle.”

She turned her head toward the cold voice and saw him.

Emitting an air of arrogance and vigor, his figure was adorned with relics from another era. A dark blue current hovered around his body, and with a single step, the snow in his radius evaporated. He sported that confident attitude of his, revealing his leadership over others, and a face years older than the one she knew.

Looking around with a face that didn’t bother hiding his irritation, Julius asked quietly, “…Did you do this?”

“Yes, sir.”

The air sank heavily at her definite answer.

“Really?”

Julius didn’t say much.

“It looks like I’ve taken in a dog that doesn’t recognize its own owner.”

He raised his sword. The air shook, magnificent dark clouds gathering in the sky above.

He gathered everything in him, as if he was planning to end it all at once.

“I’m glad I went with Allen.”

It was a meaningful response.

But Julius didn’t care. They wouldn’t be seeing each other again, anyway.

“…Is that so? Then I suppose you’re quite useless.”

Hundreds of lightning bolts fell from the sky.

As her sword fell, the world turned white.

‘Too late.’

Flashes of lightning filled their vision.

Rumble, rumble, rumble.

With an explosion of steam, the snow instantly melted, leaving the whole mountain covered in fog.

Thump.

Her body fell to the ground.

“‘Reach me’, my ass…”

A single blow knocked her down.

He tried to let go of the expectations he’d held onto for a moment.

But it was all over now.

Linbelle would be free from the trial, and he’d be able to see his brother.

The hallucinations that had consumed him all his life crept in.

“…You’re not dead yet, are you, sir?”

Linbelle’s voice rang in his ears. Allen’s eyes sparkled in disbelief. A figure rose through the swaying steam.

“Are you still alive?”

Julius, also wearing a surprised expression, gave a disappointed smile. “…Ha, so you all really thought you could get rid of me?”

“If we didn’t, we wouldn’t have attacked you, would we have?”

It was a rather bold answer, though her whole body was scarred with burns from the electricity.

Julius’s eyes exploded with lightning as he took his stance. “Why not return to my side now? I can let it slide with those skills of yours.”

“I’m sorry.”

She smiled playfully.

“I have only one master.”