Regrets - Chapter 1 Prologue

Have you ever seen a swing?

They would be commonly located at the park or other places for people to use. Once the park is desolate the swing is also desolate. It doesn’t move back and forth. It just stays there and may time to time follow the wind’s current.

I’ve seen a swing before.

The only problem with the one I saw was that it couldn’t be used. All it could do was dangle above the ground and move around with the push of a person.

This is because this swing was a dear friend, Caitlyn.

Held with only a rope tied to the ceiling her body swung in a continuous circle. This was because her younger brother was pushing her.

Ignorance was truly a bliss as the young boy pulled and pushed, tugging on her pants for a response.

Everyone watched with eyes of horror with a few men panicking immediately grabbing the child. He cried with tears in his eyes screaming in terror.

Everything just seemed to be in a slow motion movie. Mouths that moved yet had no voice to speak. Movements that would at least create a thump made no noise.

This was exactly like a film. So where’s the volume button?

That was my conclusion. The conclusion that lead me to the bathroom. the room where I can finally prove that blood may not be as thick as water as long as there’s enough water.

It was very simple. I lived to this stage to understand what my life is like.

It’s a game of domino.

You watch from afar, not able to affect the fall of countless of dominoes only able to witness it. Watching and watching. You see a domino fall which could represent happiness, a year, anger, etc.

It was just like that but there’s an exception. One day someone could literally give a hand and stop the domino effect.

It was simple as that. She was the one to lend the hand but without that hand…

There was one domino left in the corner alone that watched the same scene I witnessed. The dominoes weren’t laid out in a beautiful manner but were chaotically everywhere.

This was my life.

Without the pillar that supported me I think it’s the right time.

Before my last moments doesn’t it feel right to reminisce over the past.

Honestly it’s all so hazy and boring. A cheerful lass that I was able to finally consider a friend and ready to make a change. The hidden elder brother. The parents that were never there.

What else?

The discrimination of difference. Insults that invalidated my life. The constant bullying.

My favorite quotes from my past were just too many to list. You don’t need pills you just need a pair of running shoes and some fresh air. Stop being an attention seeker, no one cares. Therapy is just a waste of money. Cain you useless [Insert insult]

Those were definitely the top of the list. It was ironic that I would be beat with a cane with my name being Cain. The irony.

Unfortunately the school didn’t quite agree with that.

In my last moments I would have wanted to go off with a bang but this ccountry doesn’t quite allow the materials necessary for that. Instead I have to use this kitchen knife.

I used this so many times and I think this might be the last time I get to see it or use it.

With a few simple cuts the blood eventually accumulated and concentrated on these wounds. It was time to take a nap.

I place my hand into the bath tub filled with water. It stung at first but the adrenaline ran through me, negating the pain.

I suddenly got tired and closed my eyes. I relaxed myself awaiting for what will come next.

Whatever comes after this will surely be much better than this life

…

A blade of light flashed at my face as a gentle breeze enveloped the top of my body. It was chilly due to this breeze as I struggled to get up.

The reason it may be cold should be due to my corpse but all i see is my bedroom.

This is just too familiar to me.

The doctors and nurses probably drugged me with enough medicine in an attempt to forget my memories but it should wear off. Actually… it doesn’t need to wear off if I can remember everything.

It doesn’t matter. I can imagine it may have been my neighbors or my parents who ratted me out.

One more attempt should be fine.

I was about to go the bathroom but I glanced at the calendar next to my bedroom door. January?

How long was I in a coma? I instead grabbed my phone to confirm the date but it gave me a more frightening news.

I think i’m dosed with too much medicine as the date I’m reading is a year before the time I tried to kill myself.

This must be a joke, right?

I needed to look for more information and all I could find was the clean textbooks that were without any scribbles.

This should have been enough information but the newspaper and headlines were the concrete evidence I needed.

This is a restart to the life I was given.

Another chance.

A chance for redemption.

I now have a deadline of 1 year to stop Caitlyn from doing anything dangerous. If I can just accomplish this then I’m happy with anything. Just let this wish come true.

This is my one chance to finally confess everything. To befriend people. A new reputation.

If I can befriend enough people or get Caitlyn closer I’ll finally be able to learn what happened.

Why did she commit suicide?

Who supported this action?

With this chance i’ll find out

I searched for an old book. The first few pages were cringey notes that I crumbled and threw into the recycling bin. The rest were blank slates that I could use.

If all goes right I should just look out for the companies that are eventually going to be popular in the future an invest in them.

Or something like that.

But the main purpose of this book is to gather the most important information that is necessary to find out why Caitlyn committed suicide.