Regrets - Chapter 2 The Diary Entry

January:

The school has just open and as expected the classroom registrations are the same. As long as I don’t make too many big differences then everything should be the same as my past life. From what I have observed there is rarely any difference. My name is the same, Cain and so as my friend, Caitlyn.

Time doesn’t wait for anyone so instead of Caitlyn approaching me I instead approached her. The anxiety may have gotten to me but I needed to accomplish what is necessary. My words were fairly eloquent but at times I could feel some glares causing me to stutter or stammer. I believe it was probably normal since everyone’s new but I need to make sure to note this in case this may be important.

As expected just like her past life Caitlyn is still very kind. Nothing seems to be a big change in character so that’s fine.

Just like my past life this had to have happened again. I didn’t expect it to be this fast but someone tripped me up. I couldn’t see who it was but I had a feeling it was just like my past life. My sleeves were now rolled up, revealing the scars on my wrists.

Unsurprisingly there was that one student who always had to be a loud mouth. “He cuts himself”. Just like my past life I was immediately judged. I could hear the whispers that just like bait for fish hooked everyone into this story. The discussions and conversations were probably going to be passed off as rumors. If this is like my past life then multiple people should start confronting me but this may align with my plan.

Caitlyn seemed to have caught wind of the rumor very quickly inquiring if I had any problems. Kindly rejecting her I managed to put on an honest facade about my health. This was another problem I noted.

Too weak.

Currently from my point of view some of the classmates already watch me with disgust. I can’t understand what’s in their mind but I know one thing that could grab their attention.

Benefits

What these people see in me is currently a lot of negative benefits. A guy that may drag them down. This is what I am currently portrayed as so what I need to do is just change that image. I couldn’t believe how naive I was in the past but I need to act the part.

The current list that I can think of that may give people benefits is this:

Strength – increase my physical physique in order to attract people that suggest that I have a healthy life. This may range from toning my body to give that image however from how I was easily tripped up it is best that I also aim for stamina. this has many benefits especially with the one year limit I should consider this priority.

Intelligence – This is another very important point. Currently I have a few strands of what will be taught in the following year and if necessary I can go to the library to highlight the few parts that will help me. Using intelligence I can portray myself as a bright young man. The teachers would start to notice that I could well be important which has its uses if the future goes according to plan. People would wish to socialize with me in order to either recruit me, giving me a network of connections or to learn from me in which I could possibly extort them.

Looks – Considering the age of the people here hormones and puberty is still in an active state making people attracted to people. Along with the fact of their ignorance and curiosity using looks against them would allow me to manipulate them depending on their infatuation level. There is one flaw though. I’m not considered the most handsome or prettiest. Therefore this is unrealistic. The problem is how Caitlyn may react to this if I took changing my looks to far such as plastic surgery. The best I can do is a haircut and trim off this shaggy long hair but currently that is not possible.

Wealth – You know very well that this is unrealistic Cain. To gather a large amount of wealth is not possible or very useful in this situation. I could indeed bribe people in order to gather information but eventually the price will increase and the arrogance or ego of the information trader would increase. The alliance would only be temporary and make trust issues to a chaotic level. Because of the trust of the information trader being at a low they may spread information or instead try to cheat me of more money.

These are currently the four that I have discovered and 2 of them are probably the easiest. Another I could have noted is abusing the fact that I could use Caitlyn as a bridge to connect with other people however I at least have a bottom line. Therefore that possibility should never be considered to actually be put in effect.

I had to make sure I put effort into increasing my Intelligence and Strength to appeal to a majority of people but I mustn’t forget my number one priority.

Caitlyn

As a dear friend I need to accompany her and notice any changes. Currently there is none but as expected there were people approaching me. The most common questions would be to ask about my mental health or rather insult me for being an “attention seeker”. Unfortunately I don’t have a choice to remove the scars but I estimate some profit should be made.

The most irritating part that put me on edge was the concern. Multiple people would portray themselves as righteous, empathetic or caring however I know this is all a farce. In case I need to remind myself they have tricked you more than once.

One person that made me seethe with anger, hostility and pure rage was a mate known as Alex. His act was the most realistic as he used make up to fake his scars and pretended to bawl his eyes out. My fists were already curling themselves up with my knuckles turning white and my palm close to the point of bleeding from my nails.

The main reason would have to lie on the fact that he originally tricked me into buying medicine that was suppose to help me. They didn’t work. Instead it made it worse. The reason for that was that they were either drugs that helped with anxiety or medicine he randomly found. At the time I was desperate and diving into more despair allowing me to save myself from the money burning addiction.

He laid out a trap which could have ruined me. In my past life I built up the courage to stop trusting him and trading but instead he uses the money to increase pressure one me via bullies.

They are another batch of people that are suspicious and I should watch out for. The worst thing after that was the realization that all the people who approached me were students.

The teachers probably knew the rumors and so ignored me in class, avoiding to ask me questions but that was fine. The reason why was that they will be useful pawns.

Right now I can’t expend the time to waste on the smallest matters. I need to compile and analyze what happened.

January is currently in it’s early stages but nothing has happened to fast. If I’m correct one of the biggest factors that could harm me and Caitlyn should be unveiled at February.

currently my biggest hit-lists was this:

– Alex

– Weird glares

– Usable Teachers

– Person who tripped me

Some may be on their as unknown but until I know whether it was on purpose or accident I will find out who they are. They are the biggest perpetrators and as long as I stay patient and use everything to support me then I should be fine.

To raise connections:

Intelligence – Read books & Study – Use the test to measure what you can remember before proceeding to increase or lower your grade – Steadily increase your grades and not in one go or beware of the consequences

Strength – Practice more reps to steadily increase stamina – Make sure to go for a consistent pace and not to over do it – No slacking

Caitlyn – Treat her well and make sure she is #1 Priority

If I can follow all of this then everything should go well. The insults and bullying haven’t escalated yet. No marks are on Caitlyn as far as I could see so far. No strange behaviors of teachers.

If I still followed the dominoes that I philosophize then it a light must have swiped every piece of domino. Instead replacing them with much more dominoes that would split into branches.

If i recall this means that for every move I make it will have effect that will eventually lead to the answer.

I’ll find the answer