Regrets - Chapter 8 Hedgehog Dilemma

July:

I know I can’t make a move.

It is not that I’m afraid of them showing the video of me fighting and attempting to blackmail me. I have the full video so I shouldn’t fear them if they tried to mess around with an edited version.

The part that worries me is that they are playing me like a fiddle.

How did they know?

They act as if they know what I would do at any moment. If I can’t make aggressive moves then I can only play this game passively. With this fact established I should obviously look out for Caityln.

Just recently she was harmed by them and if I can’t protect her then what’s the point of another life?

I think this is about time I change my image. I need to start cleansing myself off of this “depressed” state.

My original looks used to fit the common stereotype criteria. A weak, frail body that with a single brush of the wind I could collapse. An introverted, shy personality but the one thing that I still have to be considered “depressed” is my hairstyle.

It was still the same style like my past life. Long hair that acted like a curtain for my face to hide my insecurities and to cover the disgust I held for myself.

This long hair has lost its purpose. I don’t have to hide myself from the fear of being subjected and judged for my difference. It could be to suggest that I’m not willing to be as passive as some may think but it influences another plan.

Time isn’t waiting for me as slow as I thought. If Caitlyn can’t tell me how she may have been influenced to take a darker path then I need to search for it myself.

Whether it be physical hints or mental notes. By changing my image I shouldn’t Caitlyn too much however I hope to find any sudden agitated movements that may happen.

If necessary I can batter myself up to look injured and maybe find some more clues but that is about it.

I just need to get closer to Caitlyn. She is the key to my problems and if she can’t help then everything may go down hill.

I managed to build up the guts to ask her to go out to an amusement park. I needed to slowly coax her to a comfortable level and make her forget about the pool incident.

I fear that it may develop into something worse such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Hopefully this should help relieve her of some stress by letting her enjoy the outside.

I picked her up from her house and I met her little brother. He seemed much happier compared to the last time I saw him. Covered with snot and tears while screaming in pure terror I think I prefer the one that smiles because at least he doesn’t make too much noise.

I did feel a bit agitated at him as he did push and pull the corpse of her sister but I shrugged it off and called for Caitlyn to hurry.

It was quite amusing as she said that Charlotte would join for the early part of going to the amusement park.

I felt thankful for Charlotte’s effort but I couldn’t help smile knowing that she was being encased with a web of friendship by befriending Caitlyn.

Another pawn to help me.

True to Caitlyn’s word Charlotte was indeed at the amusement park.

However it was not just Charlotte as she was chatting with a group of girls.

I didn’t expect her to have a separate group of friends since I tried to sever her chances by blackmailing her in the early periods of school but they may have another motives.

They could be friends from Charlotte’s past schools but that’s far too much of a stretch. I know that she is a scion so she may have been forced to socialize with other people that have similar wealth.

Caitlyn first greeted Charlotte and as they exchanged their warm welcomes to each other I couldn’t help but feel a cold glare.

This felt far too similar to the glare from February.

A glare filled with contempt that suggested their superiority compared to others. The glare that was too suspicious to pass off.

I risked the chance of exposing myself to more danger so I tried to casually look at Charlotte’s friends.

I felt the sense of that dangerous glare which gave me the shivers.

A clue was within Charlotte’s group. She may have the answer.

The group of girls were initially surprised when I looked at them but that may have been due to my change of hairstyle.

This establishes that they may be surprised as they have never seen me and surprised by a new face or they already knew me.

To become more handsome and gather a network of connections with that ability was an idea but I don’t think they would be too amazed with my haircut.

They may have seen me before. If they aren’t a clue then it may have been because of the original rumor that may have have piqued their interest of a “timid and docile” student.

Before I could get more answers by asking Charlotte, Caitlyn hurried me to play some games.

It was indeed enjoyable to play and act casual but I couldn’t let down my guard. If I relaxed for one moment then an “accident” may happen.

Maybe I was too paranoid as nothing happened that day. The only bothersome part was on the last ride.

To end the date we both decided to go on the Ferris wheel. To receive the chance of a romantic memory by joining this ride during the night where the stars appeared.

We were both at the age where hormones made us feel odd. Caitlyn didn’t reject my advances on her but when it came to moving the clothes she hurriedly pushed me away.

I tested the limits to how far I could take this and removed her bottom undergarments by lowering them from their original position. She had no big reactions but when it came to the top she pushed me away once again.

Something has happened.

If she felt pressured and stressed then why didn’t she push me away in the first place. I have yet to actually use force so why?

She didn’t reject the notion of me removing her lower undergarment but immediately perturbed when I reached for her top.

Caitlyn is similar to an open book. If she feels happy she tell you. If she feels sad then she’ll tell you.

So what happened?

If she was insecure then she would have rejected my first advancement on her.

This doesn’t add up

She suddenly teared up and cried. It was extremely ugly to see tears streaking and to flow like a waterfall that originated from her clear eyes.

I hurriedly tidied her appearance to what she originally looked like but she hugged even harder.

….

A group of hedgehogs huddle together to warm themselves up but when they get too close they prick each other. They then avoid each other, separating themselves but once they get cold again they repeat the same thing.

Until they eventually learn that they can keep a distance from themselves and still receive can they finally achieve the warmth without thorns.

This was the situation I was put into. I wanted to get closer to Caitlyn to find out more about the truth but instead we both harmed ourselves with this memory.

If necessary I will find the middle ground to find the perpetrator.

One day