Reincarnated as an AXE! - Book 1: Chapter Epilogue. Wait, no, EPIC-logue. Yeah, that sounds way better.
… “Oh, my god, I have to do ten thousand more words to finish up Writathon,” the author moaned unhappily. “That really sucks. I mean, no offense guys, but I’ve got other stuff to do! The story’s big enough for now and adding more at this point will just bloat it out unnecessarily.”
“What?” Max asked. “How can that be true? Bloat is profit! People love bloat! Don’t upset the readers, dude! This place is bigger than Shaq’s shoe size. And look at this: You’ve got thirty-one thousand views already! And over two-hundred followers! You’re doing great, don’t slow down now!”
“Pffft, I’ve got nearly six hundred thousand views on reddit.”
“What the fuck?! Start a patreon!” Max yelled. “Buy me more shit! I want more shit!”
“Don’t be a jerk! When I first started writing Fuck You, I’m an Axe! which is the one true name for this story that I wasn’t allowed to use around here, I had a vision of reincarnated axes having comedically sociopathic adventures! Not engaging in shallow mercantilism. We need to be better than that, Max!”
“So, you’re just throwing away all this! You’re literally two days of effort away from finishing writathon!” Max yelled.
“Yeeeeah, but I don’t really care about writathon. I don’t need its acknowledgement. I’ve completed my own writathon if you’d look just look at my statistics. It’s going to be 80,000 words in under forty days.”
“Jack, you’re getting too meta.”
“Max, you know there was never an outline for any of your story, right? You were just a joke I made up to amuse myself. Every step of progression you made was a literal asspull.”
“Are you saying I was a…creative writing exercise?!”
“Exactly! And now I’ve proven that I’m creative! Five hundred thousand views, man! A metric ton of people telling me how funny I am, and how absolutely fucked up and original my imagination is! I’m satisfied!”
“So, what does this mean? Are me and Libby and the gang, all getting…axed?”
“Nah! We’re going into audiobook production in two weeks and big parts of this story need a re-write and a trim. I figure we’ll end it at Chapter 31. Probably going to drop the Ardale is missing sub-plot and tighten up the Keith storyline so it’s easier to understand. Hopefully that’ll make Popsleo happier.”
“You’re holding a gruuuudge,” sang Max in a sing-song voice.
“No, I’m not! Shut up!”
“He gave you three staaaaaaars!”
“Eat shit, Max!”
“He wrote that your story takes a turn for the worst at Chapter 12!”
“New Protagonist! New protagonist when we return from hiatus!”
“Wait, no! I’ll be good!”
“Too late, asshole!”
__
Anyway, part 1. Is concluded. Part 2 is coming after the audiobook is produced. What comes next?! Will Max and Libby defeat the fog goblins! Will the whole fog goblin storyline be glossed over, resolved, and forgotten by the time Season 2 starts? Yes. Or WILL IT?
Meh, we’ll see.
Max is an Axe will return in January.
