Reincarnated As The Fated Villain - Chapter 41 CHAPTER 12

“No one can interrupt us in here” he says as we glided upward, ascending towards to one of our castle’s towers. He took a glimpse at me and blinked his eyes away just before I catch them.

He lands on one of the battlements of the towers and guided me down to sit on a merlon while he later on leaps up to sit on another merlon, just next to mine. “Go ahead, we can talk about anything in here.”

“They will soon be looking for us…”

“Better hurry then” he retorted, draping one foot down towards the cliff face while he bends his other knee close to him. “You were going to tell me something, right? I’m all ears” He leans an elbow down on his knee and placed his chin on his palm, watching me. “Did the nightmare bother you that much?”

I moved to the edge, ready to spring down to the floor but then I hesitated. It would be rude to leave knowing he took me out here just to listen without getting interrupted. “It’s not just the nightmare” I answered. “I know this sounds weird but… I’m actually accustomed in having nightmares. I frequently dream about scary things ever since I was little— more frequent than normal. I just became that rattled now because the dream is different this time. Usually the dream is about a girl in the mirror. Sometimes her eyes are gone, sometimes she crawls out to take me, sometimes she tries to kill me or depict killing other people, and many more macabre.”

I tried to recall now what I dreamt awhile ago.

The chains that bind my ankle is all I can remember clearly… visually. I also remember the feelings I had felt; the anger, hatred, and hopelessness. Combining all together until I got drowned. All I ever felt by then is fear and desperation. I wanted to live. I didn’t want to die.

“To be honest, whenever I had those kind of dreams, I just watch everything and let it unfold. I thought that would help me understand a message it might be trying to say. But now, I realized… I learned nothing. All it did all these years was to show me what I’m scared of and exposed it to me in many different forms, almost countless. That’s why, I awaken each morning feeling nothing. I can’t feel happiness nor sadness, no fear, nothing. I just feel so empty inside almost becoming apathetic too.

But then when Aeron talks to me, I snap back to reality. He brings out so many moods in one conversation. He can be so contagious.”

I found myself giggling as I remember Aeron’s face in a grimace then he slowly smiles, laughs, looks surprised, frowns again, sighs, then later on grins widely. He’s so animated. It made me realize something is wrong with me so I try my best to smile back and respond as if I’m his reflection in a mirror.

And it helps.

“Is it weird to think my twin brother is the separated part of me that had harbored all the positive things in life?” I hauled a sigh and shrugged.

“Hm. And what does that makes you?”

Surprised, I turned to Eriol. That’s when I realized I had been talking nonstop.

How odd it is to open up this easily to him when I thought talking about these at all would be so complicated.

“I suppose I’m implying that I got all the bad luck?” I answered. “I admit sometimes that crossed my mind but I know it’s not true. I mean, my parents are sweet and kind. I live in a castle. I have friends like you and Levi and Aeron is my brother. I’m so lucky with my life right now that sometimes I dread to lose this life— becoming so desperate to find a way not to get killed someday.” I halted and gasped, it slipped from my mouth even before I could have stopped it. A pause that made Eriol look at me as I clasp my hand to my mouth. I slowly removed that hand and went on. “What I’m trying to say is… I believe someday, there might be people who would want me dead.”

I watch Eriol. He just returns the gaze, eyeing me coolly. No questions asked. He’s just waiting for me to finish. I averted my eyes away.

“But that’s not my greatest concern… the idea of people around me getting killed terrifies me more. Losing the ones I cherish… I can’t stomach the thought of the people important to me dying in front of me whether it’s from getting involved or…”

Because I killed them myself, was what I was going to say but it was too hard to say out loud.

I bent my knees close to me.

“I don’t want anybody to die because of me. And with that said, I also want to live longer— with all of you guys. I want to spend more days together or travel around just like what happened today. We traveled across a border to the Southernmost Kingdom, apprehended few bandits and then just awhile ago I saw my father cried with his silly face again saying he’s proud just because we climbed down the stairs without tripping.” I chuckled. “Eri, I want everyone happy and safe. This life I have now is too precious to end.

I’m not afraid of the process of dying but I’m afraid of leaving the people dear to me. I’m afraid for them to get hurt. I’m terrified of watching them die. I… I’m scared all of these precious days together will change just because of me.”

I wanted to look at Eriol but tears slowly had blurred my eyesight. I tried to blink back the tears but it fell down my cheeks instead. I turned my head the opposite direction and wiped my eyes dry.

I began to spell out the word STRONG on the palm of my hands. Closed it into a fist. And pressed it to my chest. A chant that I pray to have an effect.

But then I pondered about being strong.

Becoming strong… is that really necessary?

“I wanted to be strong for the people I care about in order to protect them. But I fear that strength would turn against me someday and I might use it to hurt them instead. Now, I’m confused what to do.”

I can feel the breeze passing pass us in a rather strong yet gentle manner. Just enough to brush against my ears, buzzing so loud like listening to a plastic bag being crumpled.

“Strong… is a big word, Aerra. Being strong doesn’t just limit to physical or magical prowess. It goes in many forms. In my opinion you are strong,” Eriol stated. “You’re the strongest girl I have ever met, actually. A strong young girl with a good heart.”

I wiped my eyes dry. I’m somewhat relieved Eriol is not trying to touch me just to comfort me, that would have made me cry more.

“I’m not really.” I shook my head in denial but a subtle smile manage to linger from my lips from his comment. “I mean, compared to my twin…”

“Comparing again, huh? Aeron is different on his own ways even if you’re twins. Sure he’s strong. He also never turns his back on people who needs his help, whether he’s capable or not. But he’s a bit troublesome for charging head on to problems. And he’s not that honest with his feelings either but his actions says otherwise; he pushes himself to the limit when it comes to saving someone he really cares about.”

Eriol throws me a meaningful look.

And the message is sent. I get that he’s implying that last statement to me. Aeron is selfless when it comes to me. I’d be really stupid if I didn’t know that by now.

“There’s quite a lot of similarities between the two of you but you need to acknowledge both of you can’t be the same at everything.”

“I know but… I guess I’m just a bit jealous of my brother’s achievements. I want to be as strong as he is but I can’t… it’s complicated. But if I’m not strong or powerful enough, how can I protect the people I care about or anybody who I want to defend? I don’t want to keep depending on people around me. To you, to Aeron or Levi— I don’t want to be weak. But I can’t become too strong either…”

“Let me just tell this to you, Aerra. There’s nothing wrong in being weak or powerless. When you came to Ouboros, you knew nothing about using powers or elements. You can’t even wield a sword right. And we were literally far more competent in a battle than you were when you arrived. But you were by far, the strongest one both in heart and in mind. And with that kind of strength, you gave all of us the courage to be strong. Because of you, we are here today. We escaped. Ouboros is gone. It had nothing to do about power.

That’s the strength you have, Aerra. And you should keep that in mind.”

I hid my face to my arms as I hugged my knees closer to my chest.

Friends… allies… that’s what I had.

And up to now, I still have them…

That’s how we defeated Cerguz.

“If you can’t fight battles— so what? You have people standing on your side, Aerra. To depend on people who wants to lend you their strength doesn’t necessarily mean you’re weak, sometimes it may also mean you’re wise. Nobody can keep fighting everything alone.

Even a king needs an army no matter how powerful he is.”

I replayed his words inside my head. Sometimes its not weakness to ask for help, it’s called being wise.

Should I ask for help in changing my fate? Would it be wise knowing that if I get them involved would expose them to more dangers than keeping them out?

Somehow, opening up to Eriol about these feels liberating, like a torn taken off my chest. But to directly admit that I will become the Fallen is another matter than I still feel anxious about. But I’m actually thankful he’s not particularly prying. He’s not asking why I feel this way or why I’m talking about things like these. He’s just really listening and responding, so patiently waiting for me to open up at my own pace.

“Thank you, Eri.” I sat up properly and faced him. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”

I reconsidered how it sounds like if I directly tell him I’m the fated Fallen one. How would I start? How did I opened this to Nora before?

“The reason behind all of these predicaments I have is…” I pursed my lips in a straight line. “Where it all began…” Is when I remembered everything about my previous life, is what I was going to say but Eriol suddenly bolted up.

“Ahh fffac—!” He didn’t finish. He suddenly became a ball of light and dashed downwards—rushing like a shooting star towards the inside of the castle, leaving me alone in the tower.

I stood up, a bit surprised at his sudden exit.

This is not the first time that this happened. It happened as well when we were at Ak’hilheim. We were walking around the bazaar when he suddenly became a ball of light and rushed to towards the harbors. That’s when I found out he took Aeron as his official Meister as well.

In that case, Aeron might have summoned him just now because I’ve gone missing for a couple of minutes.

I hauled a sigh.

I’m not sure if I’m relieved because now I can formulate a better way of explaining things to him next time… or I’m disappointed because the momentum of the conversation was interrupted. Maybe both?

I guess time for me to go back to the party as well. I leaped off the merlon and walked to the doors.

I might need to walk all the way back… I paused and glanced at the battlements.

Just below this tower, one can see the castle gardens where the terrace to the banquet halls can be seen.

Well, Eriol might have explained to Aeron by now where I am. And to be honest, I feel a bit annoyed he left when I was just about to tell him the most important part. So, I walked back to the battlements and climbed on a crenel.

‘Eriol, you jerk.’ I pouted.

I took one step —and off my body went into a free fall. Wind rushing pass me as I closed my eyes and began to summon him back to me.

“Come back, Eri…”

In a flash, a light sparks and I began to feel my body hovering in midair.

I opened my eyes and saw Eriol looking at me appalled, “Did you just—?! You literally jumped off a tower just now!” He is carrying me up on his arms, gazing back and forth from where I came from and then at me. “You brat!”

I just averted my eyes and turned my head away, saying nothing.

“Argh! You’ll both drive me crazy! Summoning me here and there!”

“Not my fault you turned Aeron as your Meister too…” I murmured as he glides down the ground by the gardens, and gently puts me down to my feet.

He scratched his head “Look, I’m sor…” he halted and threw his hands up in defeat, “You gotta be kidding me!” he cursed under his breath and turned into a ball of light once again. I watch him zoom towards the terrace and into the banquet halls. Aeron might have summoned him again.

I dusted myself and began to walk towards the terrace, climbing the wide staircase. “Eriol, I summon you…” I reached out a hand across and focused.

A light sparked and poof it appears, he slowly takes form into a human, standing straight before me.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? What now?”

I shrugged, “You didn’t finish. You were about to say something…”

He eyed me tentatively for a moment. Both his shoulder drops. “Sorry… you were about to say something important back there…”

Ah. He looks so serious.

Such a rare sight.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk about it now…” he jerks his head towards the banquet hall where I can see the feast has began inside. “But if you’re still willing to talk about it, just tell me. I’ll make sure we won’t get interrupted next time.”

“It’s alright. I’m still thankful you listened.” I answered, “Let’s go back in before Aeron summons you back again.” I beamed at him and began to walk away.

“Wait—!” He grabs my hand. “Are you upset?”

“No, maybe hate is a better word,” I replied. I watch him look so petrified and surprised. I caught a laugh in my throat and just shook my head when he was about to perhaps vindicate himself. “I’m just kidding! But I’m anxious that Mama might be worried by now that’s why we need to hurry back in.”

“Such an awful taste of a joke” he murmurs, almost in a grimace.

“It’s alright, Eri. We can definitely have that talk again some other time!” I beamed at him. It’s somewhat amusing seeing him react like this somehow; seeming so vulnerable all of a sudden. He’s a tough one to crack so it’s a rare sight to see him make that face.

He finally utters a calm sigh and seemed relieved to hear my words, and like a switch he suddenly went to flash his usual smile again and the air around him returns… That mischievous grin on his face that shows no worries nor contemplation.

“Maybe next time, we can also talk a thing or two about you, Eri.”

“Me?” he manages to snicker, “And what do you want to know about me? You already know about my past.”

I quirked my lips in a corner, “I don’t know. Maybe things like —what makes you smile like that?” I cringed a bit.

“And what’s wrong with my smile?” He asks, crossing his arms together, like a challenge. Amused, he shows me a more playful half smile now, one that shows his dimples that amplifies his charms, perhaps hoping that would work now.

I studied his eyes but felt otherwise.

“You just look rather sad to me. That’s all.” I retorted

His eyes grew wide at my answer. The curve of his lips slowly sank into a straight line; his arms unwinds and drops down to his side.

He’s obviously taken aback.

Ah. So my hunch is right, huh?

“There you guys are!” Aeron walks out from the arch doors and joined us. “It actually took me time changing too so Mama decided to proceed with the feast instead. We still have time, let’s eat for a bit…. Uhh, guys? What’s the matter? What are you two standing there for?”

I turned my focus to Aeron, “It’s nothing. Let’s all go back inside.” I gestured at Eri as well as he just rubbed his nape and hid his eyes in the shadows of his bangs.

Aeron grabs my hand and gently drags me along with him. “Come on, we can’t make them all wait for too long, Aerra!”

I looked back and just saw Eriol stand there in silence.

••▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅••

After the feast, the dance floor was open yet again. Music filled the hall.

Some guests began to idly chat while others preferred to dance as few butlers scattered to serve drinks and snacks.

Mama nods at me and began to walk towards the crowd. I take that’s the go signal that we should begin greeting the guests personally so I followed after her.

Papa took Aeron otherwise.

And so, we began to meet and greet the guests.

Making small talks and then moving on to the next. It was a lot easier than I thought because the guests huddled together in a group or by pair. It made everything faster that way than greeting them one by one.

Everything was going well until one of the butlers whispered something and Mama excuses herself, leaving me alone in the middle of a conversation.

From a distance, I hear a commotion going on. I turned my head towards it and saw Aeron being hugged by familiar faces.

Ah. Princess Ifrit and Maru is here, I thought. And the man next to them must be the King of Ak’hilheim. Mama and Papa greets him together.

Aeron looks as clueless as ever.

I sighed in dismay.

He can’t comprehend that Princess Ifrit has a crush on him. ????

I want to join them but I’m still with these gentlemen here. I turned my head to the men in front of me. Mama introduced them noble lords from the Southwestern Kingdoms. As I try to recall, they’re a Marquis and a Baron perhaps ranging at the age of mid or late 40’s. I watch their exchange as they talk about the Northwestern war.

“So Lady Aerra, what do you think?” One of them finally tossed me a question.

“Forgive me, my Lords but I’m not that well ‘acquainted’ about the occurrences of the ongoing war.” I replied,

“Ah yes! It figures, I do heard how the Duke Leingod assured the detachment of this land from the rest of the seven kingdoms’ affairs.”

If you know that then why the f**k are you asking me that in the first place? Geez.

“Digressing, how’s your sword trainings, Lady Aerra?”

“I’m afraid only my brother takes the physical trainings, my Lord.” I’m trying my best only to answer their direct questions. I don’t want to delve deeper in conversations with them to be honest.

Hm. But now that I think about it. It’s does seem unfair that my brother began his physical trainings when we turned nine while I was kept away from such. I guess Papa somehow has other plans about how we should fight when we grow up, huh?

“But why? We heard your powers haven’t even awaken yet!” One of the Lords stated, but I saw them both of throw meaningful glances at each other. “With not even any element to wield? Even your twin brother can use one. Why not focus with a rather manual way of fighting instead?”

And so it begins, I whined inside my head. The comparison has started.

“I’m sorry my Lords, but I’m afraid I can’t answer that question.”

“Well, it’s fine. I guess even twins don’t awaken their powers at the same time.”

And then the other one adds, “It would be a problem if you don’t awaken your powers at all though.”

I tilted my head to the side, curiously.

“There are instances that even nobles like us are omitted from powers.” Says he as the other one nodded, “Yes, but that rarely happens. Surely such a thing won’t happen to the high king’s own bloodline. Don’t you agree, Lady Aerra?”

I rather not dwell on their words, I thought. It’s useless to worry about pointless stuff without evident proof that such thing happens. Besides, if it came from them it might just be another lousy rumor. I should end this and move on to the next guests.

“Pardon me, my Lords. It has been a great time chatting with both of you but I’m afraid I must leave. If you excuse me.” I curtsied and walked away.

I took a deep breath, relieved that I got away from that.

I walked to the closest group with varying age and began to present myself as they greeted me back politely, introducing themselves.

“What a lovely small Dukedom, Lady Aerra. I heard you’re to be wed with the heir of the Eastern castellan. Wouldn’t that be quite a contrast to this provincial life?” One noble lord asks. He seems around the age of late 20’s.

One of my brows twitched at the remark. Quite a start we have here, I thought.

We are a city! Not a province….

“First of all, thank you. I hope you don’t find our ‘small’ Dukedom that confining.”

“Oh, not at all.” he gave out a wry smile.

“About Osteell… I do believe we all have the ability to adjust. I’m sure I will be able to.”

“And quite the adjustments you will have to contend with, my dear! Osteell is a huge empire. They own the entire eastern continent after all.” An old lady stated blatantly. She seem to enjoy getting the attention as she talks. She has a fan that she earnestly wave around as she speaks. Huge golden earrings dangle on her ears and several gold rings with conspicuous gem stones by her fingers. I recalled she’s a Viscountess.

“It’s called an advantageous marriage, miLady” the young noble Lord adds. “But you’re not officially engaged yet, are you? You should try expanding your choices ” he gives out that suggestive look. I looked away, impassively.

“But mind you, they are from the common folks, aren’t they? The Morlock House, I mean. Their a little family of merchants who found their way to the ladder and got the favor of the high King!” She taps her closed fan mildly over her chin, looking at the others as she says this. “Shameful commoners to dote and gain such title from His Majesty! It’s awful you’re in the middle of all of these! Being married into a House like that! Oh! Such atrocious parents.” She rolls her eyes while vigorously fanning herself.

“Well at least the Morlocks amazingly got the High King to turn their way at all. Quite a contribution they might have done rather than some noblebloods who does nothing but to chatter about other people lives and achievements and make it sound like it was nothing. Quite like their own achievements, I assume— nothing.” I retorted, giving them a cordial smile. “And I appreciate your concern, miLady.”

She straighten her backs and cleared her throat, uttering a fake cough as I heard giggles from the other guests of this group. The Viscountess taps her fan close and eyes me up and down, smirked contemptuously and opens her mouth, “About your powers…” but I cut her off even before she could speak another word. I can tell she’s about to mock me,

“And yes, my Lady. I have not awakened my powers yet. On the other hand, I’m sincerely happy that my twin brother have awakened his. And I do not feel sad about this ordeal. ‘Mind you’, I have Osteell as my ally after all. And just like you said, they own the entire Eastern continent. That doesn’t sound bad for an advantageous marriage now, does it? So if we put it that way, my parents aren’t atrocious at all, they are awesome as they are thoughtful. Now if you excuse me, it has been a pleasure. Have a nice evening.” I curtsied and walked away.

I grunted in annoyance when I finally drew an ample distance away from them. I stomp my feet down as if crushing a cockroach.

What’s wrong with these people?! Their horns came out when Mama left my side.

On the contrary, Aeron doesn’t seem to be having the same hard time like me, I thought to myself as I glance where Aeron stood from across the room, smiling with the guests as they all wore a nice bright smile while exchanging conversations. Is it because he has powers? Or is it because he’s the successor of Papa’s Duke title?

Why am I being treated like this?

I took a drink and braced myself with one big and deep breath. This is just for tonight! I chanted. I need to stay calm.

“Good evening,” I began, approaching a couple. They look kind enough and decent to talk to. I curtsied once again and introduces myself, they did so too. “You can just call me Baslam and this is my wife, Dana. We’re from the Central Kingdom.”

Ah. They didn’t even mention their titles.

“I use to play with your mother when I was a child,” Lady Dana stated. “She’s very vivacious when we were younger. You can’t even imagine how much of a tomboy she was acting back then! Climbing trees and fishing in the ponds using a spear!” she giggled.

I tried to imagine that scenario. My soft spoken and well mannered mother, doing such things? I laughed.

“Does uncle join you as well when you play together?” I asked.

Lady Dana shook her head, “He always hide from the shadows. He’s a shy and meek one. Hard to believe he’s the man we know today. I guess people do change when they grow old.”

Huh?

“But didn’t uncle followed Mama all the time?”

She shook her head again, glancing at her husband, “No, he never played with us at all. He kept his distance. Hmm. Maybe when they’re both alone he does that but not when we’re all together. His Majesty as a child was…” she paused then stoops down to whisper at me, “Squeamish and really timid.”

She stood back up and looked at me kindly, “It was you father who kept tailing us before actually. But only when he goes for a visit.”

Ah-huh…?

“It’s so amusing to see they have fraternal twins as their children and both as purebloods as well!” she reaches for my face and smiled warmly at me. “And you’re such a pretty young girl!”

I suddenly remembered the book I got from Syreon, Levi’s brother. The book about Noble Bloods and the Ancients. I haven’t completely read it yet because of the difficult texts. But as I recall, in a noble bloodline, purebloods are rare and are distinguishable as ones who are born with a unique color combination with our hair and eyes that only our ancestors from a specific ancient tribe or clan have.

Hm. I really should try to finish reading that book.

“Stand tall, little one. Most people here are not very kind. Don’t let any painful words get into you. As they say, misery loves company. They take pleasure in making people unhappy as much as they are. Do forgive them and just try to understand. You are above them.” Baslam stated with a smile.

“Thank you! I’ll keep that in mind!”

I’m glad not all of the nobles here are irksome aristocrats.

I soon excused myself and walked away.

I never thought talking with so much people can be draining.

I looked around and realized there are few more people I still need to greet and meet. I wonder where Mama could have gone to?

I kept scanning my eyes around. Until I noticed the guy with the silver hair and vermillion eyes in one corner again. He doesn’t seem to be interacting with anybody. He just enjoys his wine alone. Maybe I should go ahead and greet him?

“Aerra?” Kain walks towards me with a smile. “What’s wrong? You look a little wan.”

“I’m just a bit tired, Kain. How about you? How’s the party going for you?”

“It’s boring now.” He pouts. At least he’s being honest, I thought.

“Well, I have to go and greet the guests.”

“I’m coming with you!” he tags at my dress and began to walk behind me as we approach to a group of three women.