Reincarnated Into Destiny Universe - Volume 1 Chapter 1 Big Ass F.u.c.k.i.n.g Lightning Bolt

There was nothing more exhilarating, for Issac, than Sunbreaking, Acrstriding, and Void Bombing the f.u.c.k out of Fallen, Cabal, Hive, and Vex. His favourite online game, Destiny, was the one hobby that almost all of his time was sunk into. Despite being an avid fan of the game since its inception, he always wished it had more immersive lore (e.g., What the shit is the darkness? Other than trying to kill it, what is its relationship with the light? For that matter,  what the shit is the Traveler? Why do abilities have cooldowns? ) Most of this he put down to the dastardly sc.u.mf.u.c.kery from an almost universally despised behind the scenes corporation that can often be found by ACTIvely utilizing one’s VISION.

Isaac looks on with admiration, at his Nazerac’s Sin Void Walker Warlock equipped with the Sovereign Set, appreciating the beautiful contrast between the white, red, black, and gold colors of the New Monarchy Regalia shader. He maneuvered his regal looking Void Walker around The Tower in order to snatch up some missions.

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Working on non magical universes was always more taxing than working, on their magical counterparts. Moving magic through this non-magical space, without letting it escape, was quite the arduous task or at least it would be, for someone who had not ascended to True Godhood. Lezar, a recently ascended True God, was attempting to weave the delicate patterns required to tame a black hole so that it would no longer threaten one of his primary life bearing planets. This, of course, was not truly a difficult task for a True God. Any aspiring god would have to demonstrate the capacity to form these weaves in a non magical universe without sneezing, in order to reach ascension. The process, of magic interacting with non-magical energies, gives off a mist of psuedo-magical energy not suitable for either magical or non-magical tasks. A gods senses are highly sensitive, to such energies, and can cause quite a bit of aggravation, if a tolerance is not built up.

Lezar was not worried, about any psuedo-magical interference. His tolerance was more than sufficient, for breezing through his ascension ceremony. Taming the black hole was going well, until it started to unexpectedly resist his powers. Not only was it resisting his powers, it was also growing more powerful than when he began his work. ‘Shit.’ Lezar thought as he redoubled his efforts. ‘Who the hell is screwing around with my Universe?’

There was only one reason why any phenomenon, in a gods Universe, would resist their power and that was the interference, of other gods. This wasn’t the first time that another god had intervened, in his Universe, despite the act itself not being particularly common amongst the gods, in general due to the limited influence gods wielded in another’s territory. Lezar knew who was responsible, for this meddling. A particularly obnoxious asshole, who seemed to have an unnatural fixation on Lezar for some reason, named Hershel. “The next time I see that High God of Douchey-ness, shit is gonna get real.”

Quickly, putting the dastardly ways of Herschel out of his mind, he poured all his efforts, into subduing the damnable black hole. The drastic increase in pseudo-magical energy began to reach the limits of Lezar’s tolerance, despite him being only halfway through with his task. ‘Shit, shit, shit, shit, and more shit! This isn’t good!’ Lezar silently cursed while attempting to accelerate the process. The psuedo-magical energy was now past Lezar’s tolerance level and he could feel the irritation building up. ‘Dammit Lezar, hold it together! You can do this! It’s over three quarters completed don’t p.u.s.s.y out now!’ Lezar thought to himself while attempting to resist the psuedo-magical irritation. Putting the last few touches on the subjugating of this rogue black hole, Lezar was in a pitiful state. Half of his attention on making sure there were no mistakes and the other half attempting to resist the constantly increasing irritation.

With the black hole finally and properly subdued, Lezar wanted nothing more than to leave that place immediately. His godly senses, however, were in no condition to do anything other than submit to the compulsion to eject the psuedo-magical energy from his body. As Lezar felt the involuntary process begin, his eyes widened and he thought, ‘This isn’t going to be good.’ The highly compressed and chaotic energy shot out of his nose and headed straight for earth.

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“Nice! My Warlock is looking sick and ready to take on the darkness! Now its time to lay the stomp down, on these mutha f.u.c.kin mobs and maybe a boss or two!” Isaac said as he popped out his ghost to get back into orbit. As soon as his screen changed back to his ship sitting in orbit…

FLASH! BAM! ALAKAZAM!

‘Unghh….what the…where…the shit is going on right now?!’ Isaac felt extremely light. He didn’t seem to have access, to any of his senses and he found it difficult to think to deeply about anything for more than a few seconds. He kept coming, into consciousness wondering what the hell was happening and then fading back out.

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“SHIT! F.U.C.K! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! SHIT! SHIT!  F.U.C.K!” Lezar spewed forth countless curses, knowing that he was well and truly f.u.c.k.i.e.d.

He had watched, as his psuedo-magical lighting snot bolt flew off onto a trajectory straight for the planet he was trying to protect.

He had managed to resist the irritation, while completing his black hole subjugation. He had even managed to reduce the power, of his inevitable sneeze to a pitiful amount of its original potential. All of these things would normally be cause for him be in awe of himself and give him self a few well deserved pats on the back.  Sadly, there was no time, for self-congratulation. He had taken off, after the lightning snot bolt, the second it had appeared. He couldn’t make it, in time to stop the resulting collision, but was luckily able to pull off some godly voodoo and clean up the aftermath. Every aspect of the collision’s aftermath had been delt with, except for one. The lightning snot bolt had landed directly on the house of a certain mortal. His soul was now floating aimlessly, around Lezar, fading in and out of consciousness due to not having a brain to assist in critical thinking.

‘F.u.c.k! This is bad! This is really bad! The High Gods are going to obliterate me not to mention the Elder Gods! Those guys are hella scary! Probably not nice enough to just obliterate me and be done with it!’ Lezar commiserated with himself.

It was strictly forbidden and severely punished, for killing mortals with godly powers. No matter whether it’s intentional or otherwise, there are no exceptions. True Gods were granted  authority, over a certain amount of extra-dimensional space to create universes, because they were expected to be professionals to stand above all other professionals. All other godly rankings were simply a measure, of raw power.

‘God Dammit! The only way to cover this up is create an entirely new universe. Such a thing should normally happen in front of the rest of the gods but it’s not necessary. Doing so will probably make some suspicious but…better suspected than obliterated.’ He contemplated his next course of action, as he knew he had to act quickly. The fluctuations caused, by godly powers interacting with mortal souls, would soon have him found out unless he could cover it up quickly. Knowing that every second counted and that he needed a fully developed Universal Blueprint if he was going to pull this off, he quickly looked into the soul’s memory and immediately found what he was looking for. Conjuring up all, of his power, attention, and determination, he immediately set upon his task.

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Isaac had finally come out of his fits of unconsciousness. He was currently attempting to deduce what kind of situation he had found himself in. Unlike before, he was fully conscious but still couldn’t sense anything. He was confused as to how he managed to get into such a predicament. It’s like he was just existing as a nothing that somehow knew it was nothing.

He was well and truly stumped as to how to proceed from here. As such, he began thinking about how it was he got into this predicament to begin with. He could, after all, still think so there’s no reason not to do that, until something changed.

‘Well this is a damn fine mess! Shouldn’t I be in front of my computer playing Destiny? What kind of wild, whacky, and incomprehensible events have occurred to land me in this debacle?’

‘Hmmmmm….concentrating on my last few seconds before I lost consciousness, it seems like there was some kind of really bright white light for a fraction of a second before I blanked.’ Isaac analyzed his memories further.

‘But why was there a light at all, unless there was some traumatic event that caused severe damage to me? Yes, that seems to make sense. Maybe, I’m in some kind of coma? No, that doesn’t make sense. If I was in a coma,  wouldn’t I still have some baseline external perception, like at least knowing I’m still inside my body, or least be having disjointed thoughts and dreams, instead of being fully capable of calm rational analysis. Also, if something so destructive as to instantly knock me out while I’m inside my house was to strike, wouldn’t that be powerful enough to kill me. Speaking of which…doesn’t that sound a lot like a lightning strike…wait, wait, wait, wait, back up…”still inside my body?” Am I still inside my body? Holy Snot Rockets! The more I think about this the more it seems like some kind of reincarnation scenario.’ Isaac laid there, in silence, attempting to eliminate all other possibilities. ‘Holy Actual F.u.c.k.i.n.g Snot Rockets! I think I really have been reincarnated! But where and when and as what or who are the most immediate questions? Also, why the shit can’t I sense anything; where’s my flippin body?’

Suddenly, the complete absence of sensation was almost instantly replaced by complete control over his newly discovered body, as warmth spread throughout his every cell. He could sense, what he presumed was the bare ground and some small weed like plants, under his back and could feel and see sunlight shining through his eyelids, along with an intermittent cold wind. He opened his eyes just a fraction and allowed himself to adjust to his new surroundings.

“Guardian…Guardian? Eyes up, Guardian!” A slightly mechanical voice said, as Isaac adjusted his vision enough to perceive some kind of small strangely shaped casing surrounding a metal sphere. The metal sphere had a blue diamond shaped light in the circular area that the casing didn’t cover. This sphere and casing combo was floating about four feet from the ground and seemed to be the one who had spoken to him. Isaac pushed himself into a sitting position.

“It worked… You’re alive!…You don’t know how long I’ve been looking for you…I’m a ghost. Actually, now I’m your ghost. And you…Well, you’ve been dead a long time. So, you’re going to see a lot of things you won’t understand.” As the ghost finished his last few words a disturbance could be heard coming from the vast open plains dotted with numerous rusted vehicle frames to our left. The ghost turned his light towards the sound of the disturbance.

As the ghost turned towards the disturbance, excitement and anticipation began welling up, within Isaac’s chest, and a subtle smile graced his face, because he knew where he was and what would happen next.