ReLife Player - Chapter 190

[ReLife]

There are sounds that cannot be ignored.

It’s the sound that wakes you up every time you try to bask in the bliss of everyday life.

Save me.

Please.

Help me.

It’s a wake-up call that makes you gag like you’ve just pulled your head out of the water.

The sensation of being covered in cold water and the raggedness of the breath you’ve been holding, you realize you’re on a battlefield far from home.

On the soles of the feet, fresh blood seemed to draw a map, staining the ground a deep crimson, and when the clenched hand was opened, sticky blood trickled through the fingers.

Looking around, there were bodies piled up, seemingly ready to scream at any moment, and the metallic sound of someone moving a weapon and the monster’s roar, exploding from under the body, could be heard from somewhere.

Those were the bodies of those he had forced to die, the cries of those who had been sacrificed for him.

I did as I was told.

I did what you wanted.

Scoffs of ridicule echoing.

This is what it looks like.

Everyone’s dead.

Except you.

For you.

Cold as a sharp blade.

But are you the only one who will survive?

How could you be so selfish?

You shouldn’t be the only one.

The questioning that stabs you in the chest.

A probing that pierces the heart.

To escape the pain that makes you want to block your ears and avert your eyes, if you looked ahead, everyday life was there.

There, people who had brought happiness from just around the corner were walking.

To approach them, he reached out his hand and took a step…

Now we don’t matter?

Aren’t we important?

Just so you can be happy?

The hands of the dead reaching out to grab your ankles as you turn your head.

And those who rise from death, trying to obscure everyday life.

Help us who cared for you.

Rescue us who understood you.

Save us who sacrificed for you.

I understand.

I know.

The echoing sound of death, the darkness that swirls, all of it was something he had created.

It wasn’t the cries of the dead.

The dead have no words.

Even so, the reason he couldn’t ignore the illusion he had created was—

—Because I am weak.

If his comrades who knew him as <Berserker>, who had killed and been killed as commanded, were here, they would scoff at him from hell.

Yeah, scoff.

But this time, it’s different.

With memories from before he could walk or talk, he could feel the love of a family he couldn’t remember in his previous life.

Having lost his family at a young age, he hadn’t known the value of family.

He learned that in this life.

The love of his family comforted No Eunha, an <Undead> who lived, unable to die, with emotions worn away.

Twenty-six years after losing his family.

Living solely to die, to kill something, he lived. The second life felt like the sweetest rest.

That’s why he wanted to live like this.

He wanted to enjoy it like this.

He wanted to be happy like this.

He didn’t want to do anything.

Just like this.

Only like this.

But you know the future, don’t you?

Yet you won’t make an effort?

Why? Why?

Sometimes he heard such words.

A voice that flogs his decision not to do anything.

Every time, he wanted to ask in return.

Why? Why not?

What’s so great about knowing the future?

What makes you think it’s easy to change it?

Anyone can say it with words.

Do I really have to make an effort for that?

Why should I make an effort?

I’ve suffered so much before the regression, haven’t I?

What’s the point of changing the future?

What’s the point of succeeding?

Can’t I just live as I am?

I don’t desire anything.

I’m fine just the way I am.

Being ordinary… that’s the best.

It was a life I would rather die.

But I didn’t take my own life because I didn’t want my life to be in vain at someone else’s expense.

And maybe…just maybe…I wanted to find a reason to live.

That’s why I’m weak.

I’m a coward.

The man who had lost his reason to live and was determined to die was, in a funny way, looking for a new reason to live.

Even though he chose to follow a path full of despair, he was secretly waiting for hope to arrive.

Still, he was afraid to find a new reason to live.

He was afraid that he would be stopped in his tracks, that he would have to fill the void of loss by losing his family, closing his heart, and killing something.

That their deaths would be for nothing.

Because of that, I felt like I should stop hoping in this cursed world.

You’re so frustrated, aren’t you?

It was a difficult world to live in.

It was a life where it felt like you couldn’t breathe.

I just wanted to die.

Even if I found a new meaning of life there, the harder I thought the world would be, the more futile it seemed.

It would be just a sip of sweet rain in a hard life.

It’s hard to live.

So let’s die.

Don’t look for a reason.

So let’s die.

Really?

You really couldn’t find a reason to live?

The ridicule and mockery completely ceased.

A familiar and gentle voice brushed away all the noise.

‘You must… come back.’

‘I don’t want to die. I want to live. I want to be happy.’

No Eunha, <Undead>, released his resentment towards monsters at the deepest part of one of the black dungeons, the <Abyss Dungeon>, as he faced death.

Because he could put an end to a life he had lived tenaciously.

Instead, regret remained.

To the extent that he realized just before dying.

That he wanted to live.

In the moment of death, he couldn’t help but face the yearning he had deliberately avoided.

…I wanted to live happily with all of you.

It was a past longing that couldn’t be fulfilled.

It had nothing to do with this new life.

It seemed like it had nothing to do at all.

In this new life, I vowed to live happily with family and friends.

Yet, it felt like I was being trampled upon.

Every time I felt happy, the longing from my previous life, dismissed as mere desires, twisted somewhere in my heart.

The happiness of the people I turned my back on seemed like unhappiness, dragging my feet further.

You could help them.

Save them.

Take care of them.

What’s so hard about that?

Because it’s difficult, because it’s hard.

Not everyone can do it with words alone.

Because you have to go through all kinds of hardships.

Because I might end up suffering and dying like before the regression.

Prioritizing others’ happiness, yet not being able to take care of my own happiness, I wondered if I might fail.

If it’s selfish, it’s a selfish story.

Even my internal mana is only slightly better than the average player’s level, but I have no choice but to go on fiercely, alone.

Silently.

On a road where nobody recognizes me.

Without telling anyone.

So, I just want to live quietly like this.

I just want to live an ordinary life.

I want to live…

But it keeps getting trampled upon.

The regret I should have left behind from my previous life keeps flickering in my eyes.

And the happiness I gained in this new life.

I know, I do.

That it’s just acting out.

Time does not stop.

It flows evenly for everyone, whether in happiness or hardship.

Even if you want to settle down peacefully like this, the world keeps moving.

It’s not just the world.

People around you are also taking steps forward.

In a changing world, the only one not trying to change is yourself.

Acting out.

Forcing yourself.

Nevertheless, time slowly erodes away the grace period when you can hesitate.

The time is coming when you cannot refuse the choice any longer.

‘I’m <Divine wind> , the best caster in Korea, Shin Seoyoung.

You think I’m going to die? Not a chance.

I’m not going to die. I’m going to take back Uijeongbu, despite your worries.’

If I hesitate without making any choices, the happiness I hold in my hands will be taken away.

Because you didn’t choose.

Because you hesitated.

This time I could get away with it because I was young, because it was a future I could control, but I didn’t know what would happen next.

‘I… might cause trouble for you… Someday, someday… You might… hate me…! I might not deserve to be with you…! but I still want to be with you…all!’

Last year’s incident with Seona indicated that the time for choice was coming close.

It couldn’t be delayed any longer.

If you continue to sit idly and not change, you won’t be able to protect the happiness you hold dear.

As the happiness you want to embrace increases, you must continue to gather the strength to protect it.

Certainly, there will come a time when you cannot protect it with your own strength.

So?

What will you do, Eunha?

The voice urging to stop hoping intensified.

But how?

Time spent in the first life, time spent in the second life, told him.

Being a weakling and excessively greedy person, he couldn’t shake off his lingering attachments.

«─I made you wait, didn’t I?»

There is no way to avoid being snatched away.

There is absolutely nothing I cannot protect.

There is definitely no turning back.

Even if it’s hard, I will endure it firmly.

Even if it’s difficult to endure, I will be tenacious.

I will somehow, stubbornly move forward.

Even if it’s a harsh and tough road.

Even if it’s a path I have to walk alone.

Is that okay?

«It’s okay.»

You won’t regret it?

«I won’t regret it.»

There will be no regrets.

Because the moment I made the decision, my heart felt so much better.

The more I thought about the things I wanted to protect, the more I felt an indescribable sense of fullness.

«So please wait. I’ll come to meet you.»

Yes, I’ll wait.

That’s what Lee Yoo Jung would say.

With those words, the ringing in my head disappeared.

The world where death lurked also disappeared.

The strong wind swept away both the sound and the world.

«Long time no see.»

Eunha had come to the Han River today. Leaning on the railing of the bridge, he gazed out at the vast river.

The deep, silent river flowed endlessly, its depth unfathomable.

«Congratulations on coming out into the world.»

The day had arrived.

The time for choice.

March 7th.

Today was the day Ha Baek-ryeon was born.

A child twelve years younger than him would have come into the world somewhere around this time.

It meant he could no longer stand by and watch.

The future of the young fairy, so young and innocent that she would eventually become a mere pawn, was at stake.

He couldn’t let that happen.

In his past life, he had to watch Ha Baek-ryeon obediently follow their words, and sometimes, he had to witness her being mocked for it.

He knew how to kill, but he couldn’t help the malice that reached out to her.

As a player, a mere named player at best, he had no wealth, no power, nothing to help her.

At best, he had the brute force of the <Berserker>, a name people feared.

And the name <Undead>.

As such, he was a double-edged sword to her.

«This time is different.»

But not in this life.

He reached over the railing, making a gesture of grabbing for something.

«Power.»

I will make anyone kneel before you.

«And wealth.»

I will not let anyone look down on you.

«Strength.»

I will make sure no one dares to stand against you.

This time is different.

Because I will no longer turn away from my reason to live.

I won’t hesitate to do whatever it takes to be happy.

To do that─.

«─I’m going to be a player.»

It was the best thing he could do.

His internal mana had already reached the level it had before the regression.

No, it was slightly more.

Yet, his internal mana was still increasing.

It could be said that the vessel containing mana had become wider.

Perhaps because he had been dealing with mana since he was young.

«…Even so, it won’t increase much.»

It doesn’t matter.

What you lack, you make up for with something else.

My mana handling skills were actually much better than before the regression.

The nameless gift is also giving me strength.

«It’s okay. That’s right.»

He didn’t need to become strong alone, and he shouldn’t become strong alone.

No matter how strong a human being is, they can’t face disasters and calamities alone.

Above all, what he should confront is this damn world.

So he just needed to acquire that much strength.

He could do it.

There’s nothing he can’t do.

Everything that happened in the world until now was not more than history he vaguely knew.

Things he had only passed by without experiencing firsthand, through words or writings.

It’s different from now on.

Especially from the moment he graduates from the Player Academy.

Because the things he had experienced firsthand would come back to him.

---

I mean, let’s be real, Yoo Jung is the real MVP here!

I swear, the main reason I read this novel is for Yoo Jung’s sake (and the kids, and his family. Oh, and the academy player arc). As for Eunha and his love life, I couldn’t care less who he ends up with, as long as he’s happy. Like seriously, happy AF.