Return of the Runebound Professor - Chapter 538: Bargaining

Noah was having a little difficulty taking Axil seriously.

Even when she’d been shrunk down to half her size, he’d still seen her as a potential threat. That was considerably harder to do when she sat in what could only be described as a glorified high chair for babies.

Moxie had formed the contraption from vines and used one of the aforementioned plants to hoist Axil into it before strapping her in like she was little more than an unruly child. Axil hadn’t taken much notice of it, but it was wreaking untold amounts of havoc in Noah’s mind.

“You have a Death Rune,” Axil said for what Noah suspected to be the third time. He’d glossed over the first few while trying to keep a straight face. “It belongs to Lord Sievan. Give it to me so I may deliver it to him.”

Maybe I should give you a bottle of milk and a sucker instead.

“You’ll have to correct me if I’m wrong, but I do believe we just went over this,” Noah said. He leaned back in the chair that Moxie had made for him, thankfully one without a strap to keep him locked in place like a child, and crossed one leg over the other. “I’m not giving you — or Sievan — anything. Bargaining, Axil. Is the concept that foreign to you?”

“All which Lord Sievan desires is his. There is no being in this plane of existence who can deny him his wishes. You are powerful. Beautiful. Far more than I could ever dream to be. But even such power is nothing but a flit of wind in a hurricane when faced with Lord Sievan. You have drawn his interest. Not his respect.”

Noah nodded thoughtfully. “I see, I see. But you’ve missed something, Axil. Sievan isn’t here. If he truly wanted a rune I bought with my own money and spent my own effort getting, then he would have gotten it himself. I don’t see Sievan. All I see is you.”

“I… speak for Lord Sievan.” There was a second of hesitation in Axil’s voice that Noah couldn’t have missed even if he’d wanted to. She shifted uncomfortably in her chair and glanced over to her axe, which Lee had claimed and was eyeing curiously in the corner of the tent.

“You don’t sound so confident,” Moixe observed, leaning against the back of Noah’s chair and arching an eyebrow. “We aren’t unreasonable. But if Sievan is really this powerful, is he actually so pathetic as to be forced to beg for something that does not belong to him?”

“Death belongs to him,” Axil said. Reverence twisted through her words and her features sharpened.

Noah blew out a sigh. They were getting nowhere. The brief flicker of respect that Axil had formed for him after he’d come back to life had paled in face of her zealous love for Sievan. Whoever the demon was, he certainly commanded quite a presence.

But I’ll be damned if some asshole who can’t even be bothered to show up himself browbeats us into giving up a damn Master Rune just because he thinks he gets the rights to everything with the word Death in the name.

There was a fine line he had to walk. Going too far and straight up spitting in Sievan’s face was obviously a poor idea. Anyone who was strong enough to literally rip somebody else free of death’s grasp wasn’t someone Noah was eager to make an enemy of — but nobody respected a pushover.

And if this Sievan can actually control death… does he have something similar to Sunder? Has he seen the afterlife? And how strong do you have to be to prevent someone else from dying? There’s a power I’d do a hell of a lot to get my hands on.

It would have helped if Noah knew much of anything about Sievan. Unfortunately, he had nothing to go by other than a half-insane half-sized demoness and rumors. That was far from ideal. This wasn’t the first time he’d been dealt a poor starting hand, though. There were ways around certain disadvantages. Not ways he was particularly eager to use, but ways nonetheless.

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“Moxie, do you have any more Mind Meld Potions?”

In response, she wordlessly pulled a glimmering pink potion out from her bag and handed it to him. Axil’s eyes followed the potion. Her head tilted to the side.

“That is what you want to bargain?”

Noah practically choked on his own saliva. “I’d dive into speeding traffic first. I will not be having any more rumors spread about me. I’ve already got more than enough of the damned things. I’m just… goddamn it. I was going to say I’m demonstrating something, but you’ve fucked it. Figuratively.”

“I can still try to kick her,” Lee offered.

“You can’t just steal my offer,” Moxie said. “Come up with your own.”

“My strategy is usually eating things.” Lee’s nose scrunched in disgust and she shuddered. “I’m not eating her.”

“That is a wise choice. I am not edible,” Axil said.

“Everything is edible, once,” Lee said. “Most things tend to remain that way. You just smell like someone took a dump and then rolled it down a hill of dead bodies. Not appetizing at all.”

“If this is an attempt to elicit anger, it will not function. Followers of Sievan are conditioned against such things. In the face of the immense beauty we are graced to witness, there is no insult that could ever take purchase in my mind.”

“Glad to hear it,” Noah said, popping the top off the Mind Meld potion. He held tapped it with a finger. “Drink this.”

“No,” Axil replied. “I will not allow you to enter my mind. Your power is beyond what I can manage to face, but it is nothing in comparison to Lord Sievan. I will not turn my back on him.”

Noah forced himself to choke down the slew of disgusted insults that nearly spewed from his throat. They would not have been particularly conducive to his Spider persona. Granted, it was already starting to suffer from Lee-itis.

At least the demons outside can’t see this. I think I’d be ruined if they did.

If she wouldn’t drink the potion, he wasn’t about to force her to. That was just wrong in multiple ways. It certainly made things more annoying for him. He needed a way to impress upon Axil that they were not just walking money bags for Sievan to dip his hand into.

It’s not like I can call on Sunder’s power yet. I was hoping I might be able to pull something off in her mind since it’s all willpower and no real magic when you’re playing around in someone else’s head. If that didn’t work, I figured I’d just threaten her until something stuck. But if that won’t work either…

Damn it. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I wish I had a Mind Rune. It’s not even like I’d be able to use it right now, but I would absolutely love to be able to poke my head into someone’s mind and crush them with my runic pressure or something.

“I see. In that case, it seems we might be here a while. I am not a particularly patient man, but I ironically turn out to be quite practiced in the art of waiting,” Noah said with a shrug. “We can wait here as long as you’d like, Axil. Let me know when you’re willing to bargain.”

“Do you really think you can outwait someone who has witnessed the immensity of death?” Axil demanded. “I have met with Lord Sievan personally. I cannot be blackmailed. If you wish to wait, I will wait. I will wait until my task is completed.”

“Sievan is not the only one who bears power over death. And you, Axil, are not Sievan,” Noah said, his voice going as silent as a snake’s whisper. His eyes flicked over to Lee and his tone returned to normal. “Do you know where my grimoire is?”

Time to sit here like a fucking idiot and bore all of us out of our minds. I need something to read so I can think about what Rune I’ll try to make next. Something with Mind for sure — but what kind of disaster has anything to do with the mind?

“I put it over here,” Lee said, ducking under Moxie’s bed of vines to root around beneath it. She snagged his book and tugged it out. She walked backed over to Noah, barely able to hold the huge grimoire against her chest, and handed it to him.

I am really glad this thing is smart enough to decide who it allows to hold it. It would be really damn frustrating if I was the only one that could pick it up. Would probably get lost somewhere when I died.

“Thanks,” Noah said, thunking the book down before him. It looked like this was going to take quite a while, but at least he had some runes to study —

A stifled gasp cut through the room. Noah’s head jerked up to the source of the noise, rising halfway from his chair in preparation for yet another person trying to kill them, but there was no attack coming.

Axil was staring straight at the grimoire, and her eyes were wide in abject horror.

“What,” Axil whispered, pulling back against her chair as if trying to slide through the vines and sink into the ground, “is that?”