Salvation Equation - Chapter 25. Foolish

Blonde hair and cold blue eyes. Intelligent and calm mouth. Madeline groaned and shook off Arlington’s hand from her face. Arlington tilted his head as if puzzled.

“It is an examination. Don’t worry.”

“That, that….”

“Ah. The introduction is late. My name is Dr. Cornell Arlington. I specialize in psychophysiology.”

He glanced at Isabel.

“Madeline, he’s the person we will work with in the future. Dr. Arlington, Madeline is not feeling well today.”

“Yes…. hello.”

Madeline said in a dying voice. It seemed that fate was making fun of her and tormenting her. It was full of living malice.

Her palms were wet with sweat.

“I think you need to relax and rest. I will prescribe you some antipyretics.”

Arlington murmured as he looked down at Madeline. There was no agitation or emotion in him. As always, there was a calmness like an entomologist observing the specimen with tweezers.

“Yess. Doctor. Let me introduce you to this hospital first.”

Isabel looked at Madeline and winked.

‘Get some rest.’

She said to Madeline with the shape of her mouth. Either way, Madeline’s insides were in a state of panic as if they had been bombarded. Just now she saw the face of the person she hated most. Did the past repeat itself like this? Once as a tragedy, once as a comedy that was more painful than tragedy.

The headache recurred.

****

The past.

Madeline argued with Arlington. Gentle at first, then screaming. Arlington calmly rebutted her words one by one. He kept Madeline silent by discussing the Iatest biological and psychological theories.

Fortunately or unfortunately, the Count began to recover, and Madeline was forced to realize that her concerns had been foolish.

And Arlington hinted at the book.

“This is a book that will help you understand the condition of the Count.”

<Horizons of Neurophysiology>

“… The madam has a right to know.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t even go to college and I’m practically a worm.”

Madeline frowned without confidence.

“What does that matter?”

The doctor said in a seemingly rude tone.

“If you want to know, you can learn. Didn’t you at least have the courage to ask me questions?”

He smiled softly. Contrary to his hard-spoken tone, he had a very soft expression.

However, the Count eventually regained his vigor, but somehow he wasn’t the same as he was before. In fact, he was a little different.

There was no difficulty in carrying out the business without hesitation, but he was even more cold to the people around him. Everyone was afraid.

Madeline’s breathing became tighter and tighter. She thought that the previous stillness and silence were better.

The Count began to control Madeline even more. And then, the doctor gave Madeline a suggestion.

“Well, it doesn’t matter if you don’t like me at all. It’s kind of like revenge.”

Don’t you want to leave him (Ian) and study?

With me, you are free to do whatever you want, wherever you are. In Austria, in France. I will help you study at the university of your choice.

It was bait. Knowing it was a bait, and not liking Dr. Arlington at all, but Madeline…

***

The present.

“But, I eventually…”

Madeline got up and sat down at her desk.

“Still, I had to tell you then.”

Madeline said to herself. She didn’t want to make excuses. Just…

“I will never make the same mistake again.”

Frustrated by the heat, she kept muttering to herself. She continued to look at textbooks that did not catch her eye, and then read lan’s letters. And she fell asleep on the desk as if fainted. It was a painful night.

***

Madeline, whose cold was better, began to cling to her work. She kept the business distance from Arlington as much as possible.

Fortunately, Arlington didn’t seem to be too surprised by Madeleine’s mending. He just seemed to see her as a hard-working nurse. He was simply observing the movements of the patients in a cool and calm manner.

It was very early in the morning. Madeline was also checking the conditions of the patients that day. She was far from the angel holding the lamp, but at least she was a nurse with a lamp. Cerberus protects the patients from the uninvited guest of death. Madeleine went on to list their condition, being careful not to wake the patients with the lamp. And it was then.

“Uh…..Uh.”

A voice came from a far corner. She thought the patient was having a nightmare, but it was the first time she heard a boiling harsh voice. Madeline quickly walked over to the corner.

Patient X opened his eyes and was muttering something incomprehensible. (*Patient X was a man with intensive burn and was in a coma. Just now he woke up.)

“Lowell, Lowell… ah. I”

‘It’s an American accent.’ 

Madeline quickly approached the man. She leaned close to the man and listened. A faint silence enveloped the two of them.

“Let’s go drink…oh.”

It was a weak voice like a burning candle. Madeline’s heart sank.

***

Patient X’s name was John. He said he didn’t remember his last name. He might have amnesia from a violent shock.

Upon examining the patient, Arlington was calm. He said the man’s amnesia was temporary and would get better with rest.

“Of course, the question is when that happens.”

Temporary… Madeline murmured. She told the patient exactly what he said.

‘There is no difference between me and patient X.’

She thought. What she was experiencing may also be temporary amnesia. They had a different direction but one thing in common: they continued to live in a time that didn’t exist.

Patient X was confused. He said in agony.

“What if I can’t remember forever?”

“It will be fine, really.”

Madeline smiled with difficulty. She couldn’t even believe it herself.

***

From then on, Madeline began writing letters every day without break. She couldn’t mail it every day, but she sent it as much as she could.

Ian couldn’t and didn’t send his letters, but she wanted to send them to him.

She couldn’t possibly give up on him. She couldn’t leave the man alone in that hell fire.

Even if you forsake yourself, I won’t forsake you.

But the cry was feeble. It was very weak and futile.

****

It was impossible to tell if the war was coming to an end, reached its climax, or had just begun. Ian Nottingham leaned against the wall of the trench. It was a careful gesture, fearing that the letter in his hand would crumble.

He almost forgot that the cigarette he was holding in one hand was burning helplessly.

4 letters from Madeline.

He let out a sigh. A stupid woman.

Madeline Loenfield was a strange and foolish woman more than he thought. She refused his proposal, told him not to go to war, and now she even sent her letters without promise.

‘I will tell you when I come back safely.

You are a really stupid woman, and I will hug you and hold you tightly…’

lan Nottingham, who imagined such a future, must have been the most foolish.

lan sighed. The stories in the letters were sincere. Madeline’s letters were dangerous. He continued to cherish vain hopes.

He pictured in his head the scene of proposing to her for the second time when he came back. It was a delusion.

Would there be a glimmer of hope if he was stationed somewhere else instead of the forefront? He felt disgusted with himself for continuing to think differently.

If you are a noble, you should give your life for your country. As an officer, he must lay down his life before the lives of the enlisted men. He must not be afraid of death. But he kept thinking about the future.

He didn’t want to die.

It wasn’t virtuous. He was acting like a coward rather than a gentleman.

He rubbed off the cigarette with his foot and put the letters in his pocket. If he gets hit by a bullet in the chest, they’ll be drenched in blood. Still, he wanted to keep them by his side.

The battle was about to resume soon. The recapture of the hill, the goal of the leadership, was not far off. It was an overly simplistic goal for a battle that sacrificed tens of thousands of people. But the goal was the goal.

lan walked out of the trench. Clear French sky…. It was a state of peace, as if nothing had happened.

Humans were so miserable, but nature was so splendid. The soldiers seemed to be thinking the same thing, so each of them looked at the sky while resting.

And it was then. A swarm of blacks began to gather from the horizon beyond. The soldiers let out a faint sigh. lan quickly pulled out the telescope.

The thing that filled the sky with darkness was…

It was a flock of crows.

Crows were flying in huge flocks to eat the dead bodies abandoned in the deserted area.

***