Shadow Monarch: Heroines Could Hear My Thoughts?! - Chapter 187: - Burdens Of Actions (part 1)

Chapter 187- Burdens Of Actions (Part 1)

A few days passed quite peacefully after that, for Rin and his group that is. Since they were inside the academy, the outside world was basically a whole different place disconnected from it. The academy believes in isolating its students from the problems outside so that they can focus on their development.

Even major news reaches the academy late when it was either over or became old at that point. However, this time, this news was far bigger than anything they ever heard of before.

After the events of the border city, the king decided to invite all the lords for a huge meeting. The goal of it was simple: to try and find a good solution to the huge problem they are in at the moment.

It seemed that the king had anticipated the repercussions of this event and quickly worked a plan to stop it from spreading and creating even more panic.

However, no matter what he would do, the news would spread. In fact, a few days were all it took for other kingdoms to hear about the matter. Granted, no official statements have been said yet.

Meanwhile, the one who had the biggest hand in this mess was laying on the bed, sleeping soundly. Because of the mental and physical exhaustion, Rin didn’t wake up once after he made sure Elise was fine.

However, eventually, on the 4th day, Rin woke up feeling a little bit better. He still felt extremely weak and he still had painful headaches, but he was at least able to stay fully awake.

That was when Aria, Elise, and Emilia came to check on him.

“Rin!!”

“Woah.”

Jumping on him, Aria hugged him tightly and cried for a little bit. Granted, Rin had to calm her down and pat her till she was completely relaxed. This became his job at some point so he was quite skillful at it. Besides, he liked doing that so he wasn’t complaining.

Elise also gave him a nod with a small smile. A small of relief. Even though Elise didn’t show as much affection as Aria did, she wasn’t any less happy.

“It’s good you didn’t die, brat!” Emilia said in a serious tone.

As harsh as it may sound, Rin knew that this was her way of saying ‘I’m glad you are doing fine’.

However, even though Rin was happy no one died, his mind could only go back to what happened at that place. Quickly, a strong sense of emptiness filled his soul. He didn’t kill one or two people. He had murdered at least 15 and was the reason for the death of hundreds of innocent humans.

No matter how cold and unfeeling he was, it would still leave a strong impression.

‘My anger took the better of me and I ended up killing innocent guards. I’m a complete scum…’ Looking down, he touched his face slowly.

“What’s wrong, Rin? Are you feeling some kind of pain? Is your body hurting?” Aria asked worriedly.

“No… I’m just…” Clenching his fists, Rin found it hard to even say it.

‘I killed many innocent people.’ How would they react if he said this? What would they think of him? Would they even look at him the same way? He didn’t think so.

In fact, Rin wouldn’t be surprised if they completely lost all respect, admiration, and even love for him. He had become a murdered, a cruel one at that.

The first one to notice this abnormality was Elise.

“What happened… back there, Rin?” She asked.

“…” Taking a deep breath, Rin closed his eyes for a moment. <subtxt> . </subtxt>

‘There is no running away from it. They deserve an explanation and I shall provide them with one.’ He resolved himself and then started speaking.

He told them everything from the moment Elise and Evelyn were hypnotized. He didn’t leave anything at all. Well, except for his powers, he covered them with some vague explanations.

Although Evelyn had already seen his powers, but since she wasn’t here, he can at least keep it a secret for the time being until he meets her again, if he was able to somehow solve this situation that is.

During the recounting of the story, the trio’s faces changed a lot. From confusion to realization to shock and then to confusion again. The story was simply so ridiculous that if it wasn’t for Rin saying it, none of them would’ve believed that it was actually the truth.

“After that, I killed him and then lost consciousness out of nowhere.”

None of the three women dared to speak at all. No, even if they wanted to speak, they didn’t have the words to say.

“Rin…” Aria, who was the closest to him, tried to stretch her arm to touch his face. However, the latter instinctively dodged it.

“I’m a filthy killer… You don’t have to touch me…” He said in a cold tone. Not toward Aria herself but more toward himself.

“No… You aren’t!” She tried to deny it.

“How am I not? I murdered tens of innocent people because I couldn’t control myself.”

“You did it to save Elise…” Aria retorted.

“That doesn’t justify my actions.”

Even though deep down, Rin wasn’t regretful of the fact that he did this to save Elise and Evelyn, he wasn’t going to try and excuse his actions because of his selfish desires. People aren’t toys or animals, they are also creatures with thoughts and feelings.

He had indeed prioritized Elise and Evelyn’s life over those of some people he didn’t know. Rin admits that this would’ve been his choice even if he went back in time. But, it was still a crime and crimes would get punished by the law.

“Rin…” Finding herself completely speechless again, Aria looked down and didn’t say a single word.

“Brat, don’t jump to conclusions yet! Your actions came in self-defense.”

“Self-defense against people that aren’t even aware of what they were doing.”

“Self-defense is still self-defense. You have fought a demon that can use mana. That’s more than enough to justify the casualties that happened. I don’t think anyone would condemn you for it… No! If they try to, I won’t allow them!”

“Master…” Rin’s eyes widened slightly as he looked at Emilia.

“That’s true, you have done what you could. No one would dare to say anything to you.” Aria further pushed that idea.

Rin found himself in a confused state. Even though Emilia’s reasons made sense to a certain extent. The guilt of killing people still ate away from Rin’s heart. It wasn’t something he can get rid of easily.

“Can I have a moment with Rin?”

Suddenly, Elise, who was silent this whole time, spoke.

The trio looked at her silently. Especially Rin, even if Emilia and Aria accepted that he had killed people, Elise is still different. Rin knew how much she hated inhuman acts. She extremely hated the ugly side of humanity since she suffered through most of her life because of it.

“Fine, Aria, let’s go,” Emilia replied.

“Huh, but…”

“Move.”

When they left and closed the door. An awkward silence filled the place.

Even though Elise was the one who asked for this time alone, she didn’t say anything at all for a while.

“I’m sorry…” Rin, on the other hand, decided to apologize.

“I put the burden of dead souls on you.” He continued.

‘She already is suffering by other people’s actions yet all I did was add more charge on her.’

To know that preserving your own life took that of tens of other people. How bad could it feel? Rin understood that.

“If you wan-” Before he could add another sentence, he felt his vision being covered. The last thing he saw were strands of silver hair that shone brightly under the light of the sun.

A whiff of a familiar smell filled his nostrils. Elise suddenly hugged him.

“Welcome back, Rin.”

The moment he heard those words, something inside Rin’s mind switched off. All the overthinking and the ifs vanished as if they were never there.

Instead, an extremely warm feeling filled his soul and made him completely relax.

“I’m truly glad you are fine.”

“Mm…” Nodding his head, Rin hugged her back.

“I’m the one that needs to apologize. I ended up making you resort to taking such a tough decision. You went through all of this for my sake.” She said as she clenched her fists and tightened her hug.

At this moment, Elise didn’t care about how she looked or what she said. She just wanted to tell Rin that nothing changed. Rin is still Rin, the same gentle, sometimes funny, and sometimes ridiculous person she knew and liked.

“Thank you for saving me, Rin. Thank you.”

“No, don’t thank me… I did nothing.”

“You did. You have saved my life again.” Smiling slightly, Elise added. Her face looked so dazzlingly beautiful that it took Rin’s breath away.

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