Shattered Memories - CHapter 27

Rayan laid down in the middle of a large shell in Atisa Square, blinking vacantly. The sound of singing could be heard from all around him, but it all broke down before it could reach his ears.

He then jumped up.

He had already had his hair tangled up into a mess because of this process he had repeated dozens of times throughout the day. However, he didn’t even care about it because his head was in a mess.

Now, his head was full of Erich.

Rayan had no memory of how he got back home that day. He was not even sure about what he had talked about at the end. He realized that his heart was beating faster, and from the moment Yuri’s words came to his mind, he became restless, not knowing what to do.

“No.”

Rayan let out the words he had already been repeating for several days, but his voice was weak.

“… No. It can’t be.”

Do I like Erich?

It can’t be. Erich was his friend. A close friend whom he relied on, like Yuri, Ayla and Alle. He was often mischievous around him, but he liked to be with him, and he felt sad when bidding his farewell to him.

His heartbeat, that is to say, was very natural.

His heart had been beating originally, but it had been clearly constricted by the tight hug. Maybe it had been Erich’s heartbeat. Rayan struggled to think that way, but his agitated mind blanked on what to do whenever he thought of him.

“Erich… Will be angry.”

Tired of messing up his hair, biting his lip and slamming his tail on the floor, Rayan mumbled as he laid on the floor.

After the festival, Rayan did not go to see him. To be precise, he went up the day before their promised meeting, wrote down that he could not come, and repeatedly did that a couple of times. Had it been once, it could have been seen that he had had something coming up, but from the second time it happened it would be obvious it was intentional, so Erich may have noticed that he was avoiding him too.

“… We hooked fingers and made a promise.”

Rayan sighed and rubbed his cheek against the floor. But he was afraid of facing Erich. He didn’t know exactly what terrified him. He just wanted to see him without wanting to see him. It was contradictory, but there were no words that could define his feelings.

If he talked to that someone, wouldn’t his messy and tangled words be refined to become a single sentence?

“Ah.”

Of course, he wasn’t the right person to talk about feelings, but Alle was not there, and Yuri and Ayla certainly were out of the question. As he discarded them one by one, Asha became the only one left.

The moment Rayan remembered Asha he got up. His eyes gleamed.

Asha might give him the answer. Maybe he could read his feelings accurately. He had outlived him by a long time, and he was wise. Besides, it just happened to be around the time he went to Asha. He originally planned to go, but after Alle’s issue, he became depressed and confined himself in his palace.

When he made up his mind, he acted quickly.

Rayan, who looked around him, went towards the place he used to go to when he headed to the Black Sea. The feeling when leaving Atisa was always strange. It felt like the warmth which enveloped and stroked his whole body faded away from his skin in an instant. Rubbing his bare skin, Rayan took a familiar path.

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He went to the place to which he always went, but the owner was not there unlike usual.

Where did he go?

Rayan looked around, then sat down on a chair, resting his face on his palms. As he became absent-minded, he began to think about Erich again. He shouldn’t have thought about him, however, things would not go his way.

Rayan remembered that day again. He had been thinking about it for several days, thus, that day had been mindlessly outlined in his mind in a very vivid form.

‘Then, what if nothing happens? You are you.’

Rayan never thought he’d hear that.

‘You are already perfect to me just by being yourself.’

Even so, Ayla and his guardians cherished and pampered him, but they never spoke that way. They didn’t see him as a flaw, but they were of the view he had to grow up quickly and had to be protected right now, never saying that his imperfect self was okay.

The words Erich said to Rayan, who had been either knowingly or unknowingly dazed because of the events on the treasure ship, were of great comfort. Maybe it was due to the fact he didn’t care about what Rayan had wanted to hear the whole time.

“Ah.”

His heart was pounding again. Rayan pressed on the left side of his chest with his hand and bit his lip. This uncontrollable feeling made him terrified.

“Rayan.”

As he was preoccupied with the beat of his heart, he heard a low, captivating voice. When he turned his head, he saw Asha.

“Asha. Are you hurt?”

I think there is a faint smell of blood. Rayan looked at him. But he couldn’t find any wounds at all.

“I’m in the Black Sea, I can’t get hurt.”

Is that so? The monsters inhabiting the Black Sea flashed through Rayan’s mind, but he struggled to throw them off his mind. Asha called them brothers, and in fact they also did no harm to Asha, nor to Rayan under his protection.

“But be careful just in case.”

He had no injuries, and the faint smell of blood quickly dissipated as if he had been mistaken, but Rayan still added that line. Asha looked at him with a strange expression and responded with a smile.

“It’s been a while.”

“Yes.”

“I haven’t seen you in a while, ever since you were so excited because of being able to go to the human festival, what’s the matter? Could it be that due to your guardian’s intervention you couldn’t go see it?”

“No. I had a good time.”

“Then, why is there so much worry on our little mermaid’s face?”

Asha’s cool hand touched his forehead, then it moved away.

“That…”

He had obviously come here to confide his concerns, but when he tried to say it, they didn’t come out smoothly.

“I don’t have the ability to read your mind.”

“Asha, have you ever been in love?”

“Love?”

Asha, who had his hand on his chin, tilted his head and asked.

“Why?”

“…”

“Did you fall in love with that human?”

Asha did not ask who that person was, nor did he mistake that person for Ayla like Yuri did. He was sure that his feelings were directed to Erich.

“… I’m not sure yet.”

Rayan shook his head in denial.

“It’s because of something strange Yuri said. About the heartbeat, basically.”

It could be a little bit heartbreaking… Rayan began to chatter away to him about what had happened at the festival, why his heart had raced, what Erich had said to him and the emotions he had felt.

The things he had been chewing on on his own while he was in Atisa, began to unravel from words into sentences, with each of those feelings beginning to gain a name.

“… Asha?”

Rayan, who had been muttering as if wandering in a dream, belatedly realized that Asha had not responded, and then looked at him. The corners of Asha’s lips were slightly raised. He seemed to be smiling, on one hand, he seemed to conceal his expressions behind inexpressiveness, and on the other hand, he looked happy.

“A mermaid, a human.”

“That…”

“I don’t mean to criticize. It’s just interesting, you know what?”

“What is it?”

“My little mermaid has always kept me entertained from the first time I met him.”

Asha’s cool hand rubbed his cheek.

“Had I known something so interesting would happen, I wouldn’t have had to go out of my way to get rid of boredom.”

“I’ve had some things going on… Asha. Were you bored because I hadn’t been here for a long time?”

“Don’t be courteous. I was talking to myself, so don’t worry too much.”

He immediately removed his hand from his cheek.

“Why don’t you check it out?”

“How?”

“Well. Doesn’t our little mermaid know better what to do?”

He wanted to refute that, but something came across his mind, making him unable to say anything.

Kiss them, Rayan. Rayan didn’t show anything on the outside but internally, he vehemently criticized Yuri for speaking on a subject he knew nothing about and encouraging him to kiss someone.

“Asha. By the way…”

“By the way?”

Asha responded to Rayan’s words, stretching the ending in a languid tone.

“If I confirm it and it turns out I really like him, what do I do then?”

He was worried about everything. The mere interaction with humans already was a breakture to Atisa’s taboos, but falling in love was different. Mer would punish Rayan without notice.

That didn’t matter, though. It was Erich’s emotions and reaction which made Rayan affrighted right away.

What if he made Erich hate him? What if he said they wouldn’t be able to see each other again because he had such feelings?

Rayan recalled Erich. He didn’t seem to like being bothered. He couldn’t remember the night of the festival well because he hadn’t been in a good mood due to the beating of his heart and the direction of his emotions, but he did remember that Erich had acknowledged very cold-heartedly the humans who had pretended to know him.

Were that the case with him too, Rayan would be grieving for a very long time.

“So you won’t check it out?”

That didn’t mean he could just bury it in his stomach and swallow it, however. It didn’t match his personality. Besides, he couldn’t treat Erich as usual, hiding everything from his character. And even if it was hidden, Erich would quickly recognize the strangeness, like that day.

After considering it for a moment, Rayan shook his head. Asha smiled and waved his hand to him. As Rayan drew closer, Asha lightly ruffled his hair and pulled him nearer. His black hair was tangled. He couldn’t figure out who was swimming in the current.

“Continue keeping me entertained.”

For your own sake. The whispering lips touched Rayan’s cheek. Rayan’s figure was contained in the purple eyes which had receded into deep darkness.