Shattered Memories - CHapter 29
Rayan’s confession had a huge impact.
Erhart had been dazed lately. There were many cases where, while playing chess, he lost by placing his pieces in strange places, and when, with a quill in hand, he stopped idly when writing a reply, making the ink smudge and having to throw the parchment away.
“Your Highness.”
Yet another stupid thing to start the day. Erhart thought as he looked at the dropped sword. He had to squeeze his hand a few times because his hand felt numb at missing his sword.
“Are you okay? The wound…”
Looking down, he saw a slight cut in his skin through the gap at the hem of his sleeve torn by the sharp sword. After roughly wiping his flowing blood, the knight who had crossed swords with him became contemplative, quickly applied his handkerchief to the wound, and knelt down with him.
“Please punish my sin of hurting your noble being.”
“Don’t worry, it’s because I was careless, Guard.”
If Leah found out about this, she would be contemplative, but it was clearly because he wasn’t paying attention, so the fault was clear.
“Will you stop here for today?”
Erhart seemed unable to concentrate at all, and the knight cautiously advised. He seemed worried that he might hurt the prince’s body again.
“No. I’ll finish.”
At his insistence, the knight dutifully picked up the sword and handed it to him, even though he couldn’t shake his worries.
“Please stay focused. The eye of the sword is blind, and if you’re a little vigilant, it will dig into that gap.”
He thought about the situation where he would be focused now, but he swallowed it because he was the one who insisted on continuing the sparring. Erhart shook off the face that occupied the axis of his thoughts and raised the blade.
The posture, which was somewhat clumsy just two years ago, became perfect without any superfluities, and the knight Royam, who was teaching, barely suppressed the exclamation that he was about to come out without realizing it.
It’s not just the posture. The power of the sword also grew stronger day by day, and there were times when he was pushed back. His upright frame and lithe body were perfect for handling a sword, but he didn’t expect it because he already missed a good time to learn.
From some point on, his posture as well as the trajectory of the sword he drew became sleek and nimble. If one lost sight of him for a second, he would quickly and powerfully aim for their vitals.
Among the people Royam had taught so far, no one possessed as much talent as the prince. Sometimes the excellence was coveted. Even if he was a commoner, he had the ability to make a name for himself and stand out in the eyes of high-ranking people.
Clang!
Even though he still seemed less focused than usual, the prince handled the sword sharper than before. He let go of the swords that touched each other gracefully and penetrated the gaps with quick teasing. He hurriedly defended himself with a sword strike.
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“This side is unguarded, Your Highness.”
Damn it. Erhart barely dodged it and swallowed curses. The blade almost touched his side, but a sharp feeling passed by as if it was falling out of the way.
He tried to concentrate, but he couldn’t concentrate. It was too much for him just to dodge and find a gap and counterattack. These days, there were times when he completely subdued the knights, but seeing what he was doing today, it seems that it was for naught. It was fortunate that there wasn’t an injury any more than this.
Wasn’t this why there wasn’t much of a meaning to this?
Anyway, he just started holding the sword with the thought that he would need it in case of an unavoidable situation by properly training his body, but he didn’t put much meaning into it. Continuing the class while being stubborn about things that he was not sincere about was also not something that could be done. Even more so when his concentration was disturbed like this.
The knight who had wounded him was quietly watching Erhartt.
“… I believe it will be good to stop here for now.”
Erhart let go of the swords that were facing each other and lowered them.
“Today was great. Your Highness.”
Great, huh. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that today was the messiest day since learning the sword and getting used to it a bit. Instead of replying, Erhart assisted the approaching attendant to remove the gauntlet and pauldron.
“Perhaps, did something happen that made you happy?”
The knight, who thought he would leave immediately, asked how he was feeling. Erhart’s expression as he turned his head around must have been strange.
“Do I look happy?”
“How can a mere attendant judge Your Highness’ feelings in haste?”
The attendant who was collecting the armor carefully answered. Erhart made a questioning expression, then nodded and beckoned.
“I will go back and call the royal physician.”
“Later. Don’t let Leah know. Oh. And since there is nothing to follow, you may go back.”
As soon as the order was given, the attendants immediately stopped following and went back. In the past, they had followed him by asking him what to do, but after experiencing his difficult personality, they meekly followed his orders.
Walking alone without baggage, he passed the promenade and climbed the wall. As he went up to the fort, he could see Arhen at a glance. Arhen as seen from Djerba was simply a rural resort on the southern fringes, but Arhen, experienced in person, was a decent place in many ways.
Although the territory was not very large, the land was fertile, and trade with foreign countries was active, so it was wealthy, and private soldiers were allowed to fight against foreign enemies or pirates. On the other hand, it was not a short distance to come down from the imperial castle without going through the moving magic circle, so the emperor’s influence was relatively less than that of other domains.
Erhart often came up here, looked down, and fell into the sentiment of being rather grateful to the emperor for expelling him to such a free place as a place to die.
But today, he didn’t feel that way. No, he couldn’t think of anything. From small mistakes to thoughts. Rayan’s confession was enough to shake up the monotonous daily routine.
“…”
Erhart touched his lips. The memory of that day is clear whenever he thought of it, as if it had just happened. The moist touch was vivid and unfamiliar.
‘Even a mermaid kisses the one they love.’
The reason why touching lips, which they had been accustomed to doing for about half of the past two years, became really unfamiliar was because of the atmosphere Rayan created and the words he whispered.
His rosy cheeks, his green eyes as if they were soaked in moisture, and even his voice that was calm but trembled. The moment that memory took form and became clearer, Erhart kicked the castle wall with the toe of his shoe as if to distract himself from his emotions.
“If you run away after saying that…”
Before the sentences he received could be taken in at once, before he could disassemble them into words and assemble them again, Rayan left, fled to a place he could not reach. Even after belatedly coming to his senses and calling his name, the beautiful mermaid did not appear on the surface of the water again.
“Love, huh.”
Does Rayan really know what that feeling is? He had doubts.
He always tried to pretend to be an adult, saying that he had outlived Erhart, but to be honest, Rayan looked a lot younger. He was not good at lying, he believed that everything in the world was done with good intentions, and he especially did not hide a single emotion. Also, his appearance, which hasn’t changed a bit over the past two years, also played a role.
Maybe he had heard something in Atisa and misunderstood his feelings. Besides, how did he know that even mermaids kiss the one they love? It’s something he clearly didn’t know until now since the people around him didn’t bother to tell him, but suddenly, now…
“…”
Perhaps a mermaid named Ayla, who was once promised a future with Rayan… The assumptions popped up one by one without logic. He was suddenly displeased. A furrow was drawn across Erhart’s forehead.
There were many things he wanted to ask. However, he was a person who existed in a place that could not be reached no matter how hard he tried. He didn’t even know where it was in the vast sea, and even if he knew, he lived in a place he couldn’t find.
In fact, even if he could see Rayan right now, he still had no idea what kind of expression or what to say. Love was so superficial, he never really thought about it. It didn’t mean anything in the past, and now it’s clear that the seat next to him would be filled for the most political reasons.
But not being able to see Rayan was frustrating. It’s been three days now, so there were still six days left. Ten days. It was the first time he hadn’t seen him for such a long time. Each day passed slowly.
“… I wish I could tie it up somewhere.”
The words he murmured while looking at the calm vast sea without any wind and waves were sincere without hesitation.
What kind of expression would he make when he comes up? Would he hide with embarrassment? Would his pale cheeks blush like back then? Would he look at him with eyes that sparkle more than starlight? Lips like that time again…
“…”
Erhart hurriedly stopped his thoughts and grabbed his collar and flapped his hands. He suddenly felt hot.
“…Ha. Your Highness.”
He heard a familiar voice looking for him with rough, shaky breathing. It was Leah. Her chest heaved as she hurriedly climbed the wall. Erhart hid his injured arm behind his back.
“Leah.”
“I heard that you were here. …Your Highness?”
Barely breathing, she opened her eyes wide at Erhart’s face.
“Your face… why are you here in this scorching sun?”
How did he get so hot? Look at this. His face was already red. Leah fanned him. A lukewarm wind brushed his cheeks.
“That’s because of the sparring.”
It has been a long time since he came up after sparring, and when he used it as an excuse, Leah’s eyes narrowed as if judging him.
“So what brings you here?”
“Ah.”
Leah’s expression darkened deliberately at the hasty reply. Erhart also hardened his expression at the same time. It wouldn’t be a small deal if Leah had to come all the way to find him.
“His Majesty’s messenger has arrived.”
He knew it. He didn’t realize it, but his heart, which had been excited for a while, cooled as if it had lost air. Erhart changed his expression and straightened his body.
“Where is the messenger?”
Erhart tightly fastened the loose collar of his neck. His voice was flat.