Since When Was I A God? - chapter 19 Hear

“So that’s what happened, huh?” Alec looked deep in thought as he ruminated over what Waze had just told him. She had recited everything that had happened, from the starry world she had seen to her conversation with the god.

“Yeah. But I don’t know what she means by ‘open your heart’. She said I was charming too, which I don’t exactly get.”

“I know what she means. It’s true when she says you have a good heart. You really care about those around you. When you see someone in need, you reach out a hand to help. You’re good at cheering people up, and you seem to always know the right words to say. You can work your way through any situation and help those around you make it through their struggles. Sure, you haven’t really shown this side of you to the kids at school, but it shines through in other aspects of your life. You’ve connected with people everywhere, you may not have many typical friends at school like others do, but you have people who care about you all over town. You bewitch people wherever you go. Sure, it takes a bit to let your true colors show, but once you do it’s magnetic. It’s like you have your own personal gravity that pulls people in. But you only do this because you really do care. You want to help those around you, you want to be closer to them. You want to befriend everyone you meet, it’s in your nature.” Alec laughed slightly at that, though it was true. Waze was friendly to strangers, and couldn’t help but assume the best of them. “What I’m trying to say is, you’re worthy of this power. The god knows you won’t use it for bad.”

“I’m… flattered to say the least. But with everything you’re saying, isn’t my heart already open? What more could I do to reach this power?” Waze was still uncertain. Though she could see Alec’s point to a certain degree, she had never really thought those things about herself. But if what he was saying was true, what else could she really do to open her heart to the power?

“You open other people’s hearts, but not your own. You may seek out wounded hearts to heal, but you ignore your own. Waze, you always forget to take care of yourself and you focus on others first. You neglect your own well being. You can’t take on the responsibility of a power if you can’t take care of yourself too. And you may not see it, but you’re still scared. You’ve lived your whole life without a power, so this is a big change.” Waze was reluctant to admit it, but it was true. She cinched her eyes closed for a minute before opening them with a sigh.

“I am scared! I mean, I’ve never done this before! What if I mess it up, or can’t handle it? Despite all you’ve said, I still don’t feel like I’m worthy of this power. I don’t see what you do. I’m no one special, I’m just your average girl living an average life.”

“That’s exactly it. You’re average in every way. No offense.” Waze laughed quietly and waved Alec off. It was true, after all. “You’ve never had the spotlight on you, so you don’t think the same way others do. Many with incredible power like yours feel like the world owes them something, but you don’t. You’re a good person, even if you can’t see it. And you’re the exact kind of person that should wield a power like this.”

“Do you really think I can handle this power?” Waze felt scared, but Alec was reassuring. He was always comforting to her, a warmth that she could run to and hide in when things got bad. He was always there for her to lean on, as was she to him.

“Definitely. You need to get rid of your fear of this power before you can wield it. I think that’s what the god was saying. Once you are ready to wield it, once you are fully prepared, it will come to you.” Alec gave Waze a soft smile. “For now, you’ve been at the bookstore working for a while, right? Why don’t you go home and get some rest, and think about it some more? You might make more progress that way.” Waze returned Alec’s smile as he spoke.

“Alright. See you around, pretty boy,” she said with a laugh. Alec giggled too. It was such a light and bubbly sound.

As Waze walked out the door, she turned to look at the boy standing behind her. She lunged forward and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug.

“Thanks.”

Alec stiffened for a moment, before wrapping his arms around Waze and returning the hug. He smelled like worn paper and coffee; he felt warm and comforting.

“Any time, Waze. See you around.” He waved her goodbye as Waze exited the shop and started her walk home.

The sun was setting and warm light filtered over the mountains that framed her town. The sky glowed softly with red-orange hues. Waze took a deep breath of the cool spring air. Scared, huh? She looked down at the cracked sidewalk as she walked.

She was scared, she admitted to herself. It was the first step, right? She was scared. Yeah. Now that she knew that, she could start to work on it. She could change. The air around her was filled with the sound of crickets chirping as the sun dipped below the horizon. Waze swung her arms out and did a small spin. In the moment, she felt so close to nature. All the tension had left her body as she focused on her fear. She felt it fade away as she walked. It was almost completely dark now, there was practically no one around as she walked. Slowly, Waze felt her body fill with warmth. She was scared. She had been. But she wasn’t anymore. She had people around her who supported her. There was Alec, Abbus, Norris, and all her teammates. Even Marco seemed to care. That’s right, she had no reason to be scared. She was worthy. And she could handle this power.

Waze opened her eyes slowly, and looked down to see light blue energy flowing out of every part of her body.