Siren Song - 197 Whispered Words III + IV

“I wouldn’t say excessively. .. maybe just a little too much sometimes.” Scratching the side of her head Chang looked away. “It kind of helps to numb away certain feelings at times, it also helps to take the edge off at dinner parties and such, people can put me a little on edge sometimes.” Chuckling a little she tried to make a weak attempt at a joke but failed and sighed.

“Things here are just so much more cutthroat and convoluted then I could have ever imagined. Everyone hides behind a fake face and smile, myself included, I just upped it to a name as well.”

“Do you regret coming here?” Stroking the back of her hand with a thumb, Chang was distracted by the actions until he asked the question again. Shaking her head trying not to get lost in reverie she grunted in dismissal before clarifying verbally.

“No, I made the decision, I don’t want to regret my life or the decisions I’ve made, I just live with them.” Pressing her lips together tightly after speaking Chang silently me this gaze for awhile squeezing back on the hand holding hers.

“Hey Jian will you help me back to my bed, I don’t think I can quite make it myself.” Seeing him look at the mess around them, Chang put a hand on his forearm. “I’ll have a housekeeper come clean up tomorrow, I wanted to take you and Justin to the eiffel tower tomorrow, for Justin’s last day. If I remember right his flight isn’t until the afternoon.” Bitter at how quickly the time had flown by her mouth twisted a little.

“If you want to spend your last day with your friend alone I would be fine. You have not seen each other for a long time.”

“Are you sure? I didn’t want to leave you out, plus you would be jealous wouldn’t you?” Thinking of his previous attitude toward Justin Chang gave him a toothy grin while speaking in a playful tone.

“Undoubtedly, but I am in the midst of practicing something called tolerance.” Picking up her tone he raised both his eyebrows at her and answered seriously while rising up.

“Wow, well I have to say that that is commendable indeed sir, I may even have to reward you for such admirable self-control.” Putting a hand to her mouth Chang continued to play enjoying their banter. She had really missed it.

“Hmm, I would have to say that I would be agreeable to such an exchange.” Smiling back at her he wagged his eyebrows at her.

Seeing his expression Chang was unable to help herself from laughing out loud but quickly quieted herself due to the late hour.

With his help she hobbled to bed, at first Jian tried to lift her but Chang refused, insisting on walking with assistance.

Even after laying down they had talked for awhile, mostly her as he asked her question. Eventually his questions petered out and the two fell into a comfortable silence. Even though she had poured out so much Chang still felt restless. Looking down at the pair of tanned knuckles, folded across her chest around her own, she decided to speak up.

“Hey Jian are you asleep?”

“Not if you keep talking to me, I won’t be.” In a low voice behind her ear Jian answered her.

“Sorry, I’ll just let you sleep now, I’ll ask you tomorrow.” Chagrined Chang looked at her clock to see it was already creeping on 3 in the morning.

“Just tell me.” Chuckling at her quick change, Liang Jian Amal squeezed her small hand in his.

“Why did you come for me both times, wouldn’t it have been easier just to walk away? Just to move on with your life and find someone less troublesome.”

“Undoubtedly in some aspects, especially with such a liar. Yet also impossible in others.” Still laying behind her his hot breath stirred the hair by her ear as he spoke.

“What a liar, me?” Incredulous Chang rolled over and stared at him as if wronged.

“Yes you, on several accounts. Would you like me to name them all?”

“Hmph. No need. Well then if I’m such a liar and it would have been ‘undoubtedly easier’ to have someone else why did you stick with just me?”

“Such low self-esteem you have surprisingly. Can you not see why I might have?” Hearing him her question with a question Chang felt her brow furrow.

“No, not really I don’t see what makes me so special that you would literally hunt around the globe for me, twice at that. Why you would do so much for me and my mother while she was alive.”

“Half the people in this planet are women, I’m sure you could find someone way more attractive in every way. Someone who could also make your family proud.”

“Chang, you are my family now. You and my Jid. If you mean my father by my family then you should know that I don’t consider him as such anymore. Our relationship had already been strained and distant even before he crossed the line.

“As for a woman more attractive maybe, but I doubt it. When I heard you that first night I was intrigued by the woman who sang so passionately and freely. Just your voice alone drew me at first, but when I saw you a part of me knew I was lost.

“There you were stunning and shining, the brightest light I had ever seen. Your smile, the way you carried yourself so confidently, the way your eyes sparkled as you spoke, the innocent way, yet somehow so knowing way you spoke. No one has ever moved me like you have Chang, it is why the night we met, I asked you to marry me, I knew I would never regret it.

“As I got to know you, I fell for your bright and cheerful attitude, your carefree happiness, the smile that lit up your face so easily. You brightened my world and made it feel for the first time that it was a place worth living in. There became somewhere, someone, I wanted to wake up every day and see. When you were gone the first time I realized exactly how much I had lost. I had to find you and clarify our feelings.

“When I returned to the palace last fall to find you and Lihua and Hao Jin Ying I feared the worst at first. I died many times inside at the thought at what had been done or what was being done to you.

“My father and uncles had invited so much chaos into Lahat and my jid needed me. I had to make a terrible choice to help one family member or another. Seeing the letter left I felt that you would be safe for a time for me to set things in order, so instead of going right to you I confronted my father.

“I was so eager to solidify things so that we could finally enjoy peace together.

“Only I missed our chance then. I cannot even begin to explain how much I have regretted that in the days since I last saw you. I am sorry for all that you suffered on your own I want you to know that it was never my intention. I am sorry I failed you Chang.” Shuddering a little hearing his words a few tears slipped down her cheeks only to get slowly brushed away by his thumb. Pulling her closer in his arms Liang JianAmal pressed his cheek to the top of her head, feeling her arms come up to embrace him back.

“I have truly missed you. Seeing you again, feeling you here in my arms, feels like I have my other half again with me.