Siren Song - 238 Gained More

“Eat more, it suits you having gained more weight, your face has a true healthy glow to it again.”

“Regaining your confidence and your raison d’être will do that to you.”

“I see.” Looking over at her face, an easy smile came to his face.

For the rest of the meal the two ate in contented silence next to each other. Throwing small glaces at each other they occasionally meet the others gaze, speaking volumes with them. After dinner, Jian had her leave the dishes to just come upstairs with him.

Following the pull on her hand from his, Chang felt her mouth become a little dry at the thought at what was to come. As she came in behind him, Chang shut the door with her heel. As she took a deep breath, Chang started pulling her shirt off from the bottom.

Turning around Jian took a sharp breath before pulling the shirt back down on her.

“What are you doing Jian? I’m getting undressed for you.” Confused Chang still held the edge awkwardly.

“Not right now, let us just get ready for bed. It is late already and it has been a long day.” Releasing his hold Jian walked to the bathroom, leaving her standing rather awkwardly.

“Oh.. ok.”

‘Does he not want me anymore? … How come?’ Chang tried not to think of such things but inevitably an ugly voice in the back of her mind whispered why he would. It would not be so implausible the more she thought of it. After they had readied themselves, Chang lay beside him in bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Hey Jian…”

“Yes?” Blowing a few strands of her hair with his breath, Jian’s lazy voice came from beside her.

“Am I not sexy to you anymore?”

“What nonsense are you saying?” Frowning, the man gave her a strange look.

“I thought you might want to, you know.. do it with me, I thought that’s what you were saying earlier. Are you still angry or disappointed with me? Did I make you wait too long? Am I too skinny-”

“Chang. Listen to me.” Cutting her off with a finger to her lips, Jian spoke slowly and calmly. “That we are not having sex is not due to any dissatisfaction, negative feelings, or thoughts that I bear towards you. I simply wish to go to sleep holding you in my arms until the morning. It is a simple pleasure that I have been denied for long. Do not think too much of it.”

“Ok sorry for over thinking it.” Lowering her head, Chang felt slightly ashamed.

“Ok.”

“Good girl.”

“Hey Jian?”

“Yes?” Chuckling a little, Jian answered her in an indulgent tone.

“I love you. Thank you for giving me the chance to correct my mistakes. I don’t want to make you regret being with me anymore. Do you think that would ever happen in the future after everything?” Hesitantly Chang asked about some of the darker thoughts that refused to stop haunting her.

“What happened to the miss who so boldly declared she had regained her self-confidence and would not leave? That she would be there with me to fight with me?”

“I guess she is still afraid of losing you somewhere deep down.”

“You will not lose me. I will not let go or let you be torn from me again.”

Overwhelmed to the point of being unable to speak Chang buried her face into his chest. In response he squeezed her tighter as well, surrounding her in a secure, comforting warmth. Putting a hand over his heart she lay there at peace until she heard Jian fall asleep shortly after.