So You’re Secretly Jealous Again - Chapter 61

Human beings in today’s society are always very hardworking.

The customer service on a certain treasure will not only call people every day for praise, but also broadcast remotely when they will start activities. Every time I entered a store, just as my toes stepped in, the enthusiastic face of the shopping guide immediately greeted him.

The jewelry shopping guide in front of me, too. She will be so enthusiastic, in fact, she doesn’t necessarily like to be a cp, and she just wants to sell things quickly.

But Xu Fengyi did not fail to understand, and even understood very well that people always have to live.

Then, Xu Fengyi pulled out a smile to block the lingering drumbeats in her heart, and hurriedly took a step forward before Shu Jinshi spoke: “It’s not what you think. Buy it, and wish the business is booming!”

“Jinshi, have you got your things ready?” Xu Fengyi looked sideways at Shu Jinshi, looking away from the enthusiastic face of the shopping guide.

Shu Jinshi looked at the shopping guide, looked at the jewelry, and finally looked at her again and nodded.

“Then let’s go!”

Xu Fengyi flew out of the store as if fleeing, and trotted a few steps to stand on the neatly laid floor tiles of the shopping mall, looking at the strings of small decorative flags floating on the ceiling, and exclaimed a long and shallow mouth. gas.

The heart is a very wonderful thing. It involves many things. Every time it beats hard, it will make people feel like the whole body is being staggered and reorganized once.

It was as if her tongue had been cut off. After she came out of the jewelry store, Xu Fengyi tried to say something to Shu Jinshi several times, but couldn’t speak.

It’s like holding a roll of scotch tape for a long time and can’t find a hole that can be torn off smoothly, impatient and helpless.

In fact, it wasn’t because of what the shopping guide said that this happened. She felt this way as early as before dinner, or when she was caught by her in the garage.

Shu Jinshi stood in the corner of the secret room and said that he liked her, and it kept replaying in her mind, making it difficult for her to concentrate when she was doing other things next.

Maybe this matter is actually easy to solve. As long as you take the initiative to stir up the topic and ask “Do you still count what you said before?”, Shu Jinshi will definitely ask her what’s going on, and she can say “you say you like my thing”.

But she just felt that her mouth was full of mucus, and she couldn’t say this simple sentence properly.

Even if Shu Jinshi said she liked her, she was a little hesitant:

Does she really like me? Does she know that my flaws are actually much, much, much, much more than she imagined? If she knew, would she still like me?

I don’t know when I developed this coyness and disapproval of myself.

In the final analysis, it may be because of the many things I have experienced before.

In the first year of my parents’ divorce, my mother drank heavily and neglected her family, let alone taking care of her.

She took the initiative to take responsibility for the up and down of the house, but not only did she not get her mother’s praise, but she also tried to persuade her not to be sad. When she was about to go to bed, she was pushed back by her mother: “You little brat, you understand.” What?

She was very sad and talked about this with her best friend at the same table, but she yawned at the same table in the middle of the conversation, and said a few words again and again, “Fortunately, you are strong and optimistic, know how to take care of yourself, and you will Take care of yourself.” After that, when someone passed by and interjected, he took advantage of the opportunity to chat with that person with a smile and put her aside.

But in fact, she also knew that she had to take care of herself, but she didn’t say this to get this known answer.

She may need someone to pat her on the shoulder and say, “It’s so hard.”

In addition, it was also at that time that she understood one thing, that is, the gap between her in the eyes of others and the real her is really quite big. Is she really strong and optimistic? Why does everyone think that way? Does Shu Jinshi think so too?

In this way, he was immersed in the closed world woven by his own thinking, and Xu Fengyi did not return to reality until a long standing sign came into view following his footsteps.

The sign said that there was a Christmas Paradise light show on the negative first floor of the square. There were not only colorful Christmas trees, the white-bearded old man and his reindeer, but also many food stalls.

Xu Fengyi had no idea about the solar term, and only saw that there were a lot of delicious food on the ground floor in his eyes, so he stopped.

Shu Jinshi stood beside her: “Want to visit?”

“Okay! It looks great!” Xu Fengyi clapped her hands and showed a bright smile. As always, she looked familiar to everyone.

So the two of them accelerated their pace and rushed to the straight ladder, but there were too many people.

After dozens of seconds, the elevator opened, and the crowded crowd loosened up. The feeling of being squeezed to the point of breathlessness disappeared instantly.

Xu Fengyi looked up and found that the negative first floor looked even better than the promotional photos.

The eyes are richly covered with neon layers, the tall Christmas tree seems to pierce the shopping mall, and a snow scene is built next to it. Xu Fengyi couldn’t help thinking, if only the wind could blow in here, then they would definitely collide with each other, sway, and become more beautiful.

“Wow…” Xu Fengyi looked from one side to the other, and couldn’t help sighing, “This is absolutely amazing! But, when will the light show start?”

She has a small brain and forgets everything when she remembers to eat. She didn’t pay attention to this just now.

Shu Jinshi glanced at the time: “One hour, starting every hour. If you want to see the next one, it will take a while.”

Xu Fengyi nodded: “Then let’s just turn around?”

“Okay.” Shu Jinshi readily accepted this proposal.

The two turned left and right into the venue where the food was sold.

Sure enough, the people take food as their heaven.

When there is a light show, everyone may gather there, but when there is no light show, this side is always more lively than that side.

The stalls were crowded with people.

The takoyaki sticking to the wooden fish flower and filled with various sauces looks like cute little fat people. The glutinous rice cake sifted with thick soy flour can be reminiscent of the feeling of being drowning in a soft waxy between the teeth. The sizzling squid, which is made of solid sauce, looks plump and attractive, and all the food presents their most flamboyant appearance, which makes the passing children want everything, pulling their mother’s clothes and screaming.

“Jinshi, I wanted to grow up quickly every day when I was young, do you know why?” Xu Fengyi took a bowl of tender tofu wrapped in red chili sauce from a kind-hearted uncle, and turned He turned his head to look at Shu Jinshi.

Shu Jinshi watched her eat tofu in small gulps, and looked at her tiny hair that was smothered by light on her forehead: “I want to grow up quickly, make enough money, and buy everything I want without blinking.”

Xu Fengyi froze for a second, looked up at her, and suddenly covered her lips with a smile: “Ah, how did you know? I thought this was a specific idea only a poor child would have.”

It is normal for Xu Fengyi to think like this. Because she feels that people always have a hard time empathizing with things they have not experienced, so the reasons why children from rich families want to grow up quickly and the reasons why children from poor families want to grow up quickly should not overlap. right.

Shu Jinshi laughed like the sun in early spring: “There’s nothing hard to understand, in fact, everyone is the same, the more you want to have what you lack. It’s just like when I didn’t want to live at home, I wanted to grow up and be independent and move out. There is no essential difference between these two things.

Xu Fengyi looked at her holding the soft and tender iron plate tofu, and suddenly laughed.

Shu Jinshi is Shu Jinshi. I can’t tell what is different. Anyway, it is different from others. Maybe it’s this difference that allows them to communicate well even if they didn’t grow up in the same circle.

Smiling, on the way back to see the light show, in the crowd, Xu Fengyi continued to ask: “Jin Shi, what kind of person do you see me as? Can you tell me a bit? I think Listen. Real, deep, kind of.”

When asked this sentence, she looked very serious, and at the same time some eyes flickered, very uneasy.

Why ask this?

After all, it was because everyone mentioned her with adjectives like “cheerful”, “generous” and “sunshine”.

In a trance, she remembered something again.

I still remember when I was seventeen years old, when I was overwhelmed by negative emotions and went to seek a friend at that time to cry, a deep surprise flashed in the friend’s eyes.

My friend said, “Hey, you look so lively and cheerful, why are you so sad?”

Immediately afterwards, the friend comforted: “You want to open up a little, life is like this, ups and downs are normal.”

In the end, the friend smiled again and said, “But I think you look fine, maybe you’ve been too tired recently, take a rest! You’ll be able to walk out soon!”

…

Xu Fengyi felt that everyone wanted to see her sunny and cheerful shell more than her dark little person who lived in her heart.

Rounding up is that if everyone finds out that she actually has a dark side, they probably won’t like her so much.

Maybe she is cheerful, but sometimes she is also very sad. When mourned, you can skip meals for many days, and the word “depression” floats in the whole room. Although as soon as she went out, a smile would quickly hang on her face again.

Why is she so thin after eating so much? Because she always goes through that time from time to time.

Sometimes, she is not more sunny than everyone, and she is not more cute than everyone, and it can even be said that she is pretending at all.

Everyone praised her like a little sun, but she didn’t know that she couldn’t enjoy those praises at all and couldn’t bear it.

In fact, there was one thing she never told anyone, because when it happened, it was cut out of her memory and locked into a small box in her heart, and it was never released.

That is, when Yi Zhiya broke up with her, she not only said that she was too conservative and boring, but also said…

Well, Yi Zhiya said, “And you are really not what you look like in my eyes. I can’t return the goods if they are not right? If I knew you were like this early in the morning, I wouldn’t even bother to start chasing you.”

This is a sentence without any dirty words, and it even seems to have some truth. It is a sentence that if you yell at her, it will make you look unqualified.

But it was such a sentence that scratched her heart and made her feel like she was a failure.

Just thinking about it makes my eyes feel hot and my whole body feels uncomfortable.

This time is no exception.

So she just released the memory puzzle for a few seconds, and hurriedly closed the sentence again.

So when she met someone like Shu Jinshi, she couldn’t help but start thinking: “She is so good, so good as an illusion. Would God really put such a perfect person in my hands? Or, Is all this just an illusion woven by God for me?”

“If she finds out that the real me is not like this, will she still like me? Will she feel down because of this, want to leave without looking back, but just sigh because she can’t find a reason to ride a tiger? “

“She often praises me for being cute, she likes my cuteness, but if one day she finds out that I’m not cute, will she still like me?”

Then she gently stopped when she saw Shu Jin, looked into the distance, and seemed to be thinking seriously.

After an unknown amount of time, Shu Jinshi said, “It’s cute.”

Xu Fengyi’s hand holding the snack suddenly froze. Silently eating the last piece of tofu, she threw the box into the trash can next to her.

Then, when she came back, she heard Shu Jinshi continue to say, “You are careful to cover up your little thoughts, which is both cute and distressing.”

Xu Fengyi raised his head again, his eyes filled with tiny spots of light: “Huh?”

Shu Jinshi put his hands behind his back, the fabric on his knees tightened and wrinkled as he walked, and the hair on his shoulders suddenly rose and fell, looking quiet.

Shrinking his eyelashes, Shu Jinshi stared at the floor tiles: “The first time I discovered this, it was because of the car. I said you came to live, and I’ll give you a car. Then you said ordinary ones are fine. Because you don’t want to be caught by the company. People have all kinds of speculation. But I think, there must be another reason besides that? You don’t want to spend my money like that, right? Even though you know I don’t lack that money, you still stick to your own principles, just so cute.”

“When my mother said she was coming over, you immediately asked very seriously and recorded all her preferences. You changed into the color that the elders liked and made her favorite food. You promised to act. My girlfriend, you acted seriously. You don’t want my mother to think that you are not good enough to embarrass me, do you? So do everything you can to do everything you can. Besides, you were so busy at that time, you Obviously you can just order some takeaways and get them on the plate, but you didn’t, you did it seriously, it’s really cute.”

“Chen Siqi is the same thing. You are obviously not someone who likes to disrupt your plans, but you still promised her to sleep with her. In fact, besides her being your senior sister, there is another reason that you don’t want to see her. Sad because of your rejection? You really care about people’s feelings.”

“When I talked to Nian Nian earlier, I talked about the fact that I care about the circle of friends. After you clearly knew that I care about this, you just quietly opened the permissions, right? Although you may, you have not thought about it. Do you want to let me into your life?”

“And Luyuan, I only recently realized that the reason you set up the little fairy’s note for her is because after you exchanged WeChat, she set up a ‘cute elf’ for you on her side at that time. Notes, so you think you have to come and go, so you also set up a little fairy note for her, right?”

“I see, you are taking everyone seriously,” Shu Jinshi said behind, turning his head and giving her a shallow smile, “Be careful and cautious, for fear that you are not good enough and will be abandoned. In fact, How many people in this world are perfect.”

I’m afraid I’m not good enough…

Xu Fengyi didn’t know how to do it. As more and more stars appeared in her eyes, her nose was suddenly blocked.

She thought that only she knew these things, and she never thought that anyone other than herself would see it…

Shu Jinshi looked at her quietly:

“I don’t think you’re good enough like that…”

“When I see you like that, I only think, if I can, can I take care of you, this life, this life, my whole life.”

The voice is calm and quiet.

At the same time, the light in the venue erupted suddenly with the sound of a song, blending and separating, separated and intertwined, colorful and swaying, provoking the surrounding screams one after another. Everyone took out their mobile phones and turned on the recording mode. The scene was extremely noisy for a while, and some elderly people even covered their ears because they were about to be unable to hold it.

But Xu Fengyi could not feel the slightest noise.

For these noisy pictures, she couldn’t see or hear anything, and she felt as if she was in a wilderness.

She only knew that Shu Jin was standing in front of her at this moment, her beautiful eyes filled with pure tenderness.

She only knew that Shu Jinshi was saying, “Can you let me take care of you, this life, this life, and my whole life.”

Afterwards, Xu Fengyi rushed forward regardless, hugged Shu Jin, put her face close to her arms, but couldn’t say anything.

She clearly felt a very warm feeling, but she couldn’t hold back tears falling down, covering her eyelashes and staining a large part of her face.

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