Sorcerer’s Handbook - Chapter 399: Dont Touch Me

Two days had passed, and Ashe hadn’t found any dirt on Belldate.

It wasn’t because the Yvaren sisters were particularly clean. Mainly, it was because their job list suddenly featured several high-paying jobs specifically requesting them, with an astonishing hourly rate of 30 bell points. Working ten hours a day could earn them 300 bell points, and a few days of this would allow them to buy their freedom and escape from the pit.

This wave, this wave is the alienation of people by capital. Ashe was vigorously polishing the statue while happily watching his savings grow.

At dinner time, Ashe saw Igor dining with Harvey tonight, with no sign of the red-haired Angel Anfel. For the past couple of days, Igor had been dining with Anfel, specifically choosing a table for two. Unless Ashe was willing to pull up a baby chair beside them, it was impossible to join their couple’s table.

Seizing the opportunity, Ashe immediately grabbed his tray and sat next to the Con Artist. “Yo, Igor, how come you’re so down tonight, reduced to eating with Harvey?”

The dark-skinned necromancer glanced at Ashe. “…Ashe, just in time. We were just discussing you.”

“Discussing me about what?”

“Discussing your future,” Harvey said. “I’ll become the chief coroner of Mephila, Igor will become the mayor’s secretary of Mephila, and you will become an unemployed single dad on welfare, sucking your daughter’s blood. We all have bright futures ahead of us.”

“Although I don’t mind being on welfare, I’m not a Blood Saint, so why would I suck Lise’s blood?”

“Don’t you think Lise has the potential to become a child star?”

“Hmm…” Ashe pondered. “Lise does have a knack for performance. According to Gospel’s educational philosophy of teaching according to one’s aptitude, letting her get involved in acting might not be a bad idea. But I wouldn’t suck my daughter’s blood. Any money she makes, I’d help her invest in opening a store, and when she grows up, she’d have a bunch of assets!”

“Oh~” Igor nodded. “So you’re planning to bleed Lise dry. Even the Blood Saints aren’t as ruthless as you.”

“I said it’s for investment and management!”

“Even a Cult can go bankrupt under your management. Saying your investment vision and management skills are zero would be deceiving the shareholders.”

“Why are you talking about making a living in Mephila?” Ashe asked. “Shouldn’t it be Igor staying behind while the two of us leave?”

“How are the two of you going to leave?” Igor asked. “Have you gathered enough bell points to buy your freedom?”

“We haven’t, but don’t we have you?” Ashe said, wrapping an arm around Igor’s shoulder affectionately. “Once you marry Anfel and take control of the big corporation, I won’t ask you for any benefits, but you could at least get our Pact annulled, right?”

Igor glanced at Ashe’s arm on his shoulder and gently brushed it off. He replied slowly, “First of all, once I become Belldate’s man, you two will go from being ‘useful mocking followers’ to ‘sheep to be sheared.’ Even if, by some miracle, I suddenly felt like doing a good deed, a Pact is a Pact. Unless one party breaches it, it can’t be annulled.”

“What!” Ashe was shocked. “I thought for sure you’d help us—damn, I couldn’t resist buying Yvaren’s merchandise today. What if Annan and the others ask about my savings!?”

“Serves you right,” Harvey said. “I managed to hold back even when Yvaren brought out a perfect human skeleton.”

“For problems like this, you might as well consult Lise,” Igor suggested. “Your IQs are closer, so she might give you some sound advice.”

“Wait, Igor, you’re definitely going to help your brothers out when you make it big, right?” Ashe said. “We’re cellmates who shared our hearts and souls!”

“Who was it that immediately turned on each other after the Prison Break?”

“We’re also comrades who’ve achieved great things together!”

“Do you have to brag about escaping Gerard’s sword twice?”

“And we’re friends who understand each other deeply!”

“You and he understand each other deeply?” Igor pointed coldly at the necromancer.

“Anyway!” Ashe brought the conversation back. “Igor, my dear brother, you can’t forget to help out your little brothers!”

“Why should I?”

“Because you still owe me a favor!”

“Wow.” Harvey was surprised. “Ashe, I didn’t know you had a card like that up your sleeve!”

“That’s right!” Ashe puffed out his chest and chuckled. “Back when we were at Shattered Lake, I made Igor join my great Prison Break plan. We signed a Pact, and I used a wish to force him to help me strategize, so…”

“Please let me owe you another wish!”

“So, it’s you who owes Igor a wish…” Harvey remarked, rolling his eyes.

“I’m full. You guys take your time.” Igor completely ignored Ashe, picked up his tray, and prepared to leave.

“Igor, wait…”

Slap!

Igor sharply slapped away Ashe’s outstretched hand, looking down at him calmly.

“Don’t touch me.”

“That’s how it is,” Harvey said. “I told Alice about it, and even Alice felt embarrassed for Ashe.”

In Ashe’s bedroom, the group from the Funeral Firm had gathered once more.

“Aunt Bukin treated Dad like that!” Lise pouted indignantly. “Dad, don’t cry. We won’t play with Aunt Bukin anymore!”

“Don’t move,” Ashe said, holding Lise in front of the vanity and carefully drying her hair.

“Is Mr. Bukin really that impulsive?” Banjeet pondered. “He hasn’t even officially joined Belldate and already wants to cut ties with you and Harvey?”

“Sudden success makes people lose their minds,” Annan shrugged. “But you could also say he’s smart. After all, you two are pure liabilities. Associating with you offers him no benefits. Instead of increasing his sunk costs with you, it’s better to short-sell your friendship early on.”

“Ashe, do you regret not sabotaging their date with us the night before?” Annan turned to Ashe. “Now you’re facing the backlash, aren’t you?”

Ashe didn’t look particularly upset. He said slowly, “I just feel that Igor is acting a bit strange…”

“What’s so strange about it?” Annan propped her chin on her hand and smiled. “Bukin is trying to go legit this time, so naturally, he doesn’t need old colleagues from the underworld like us. In this world, everything can betray you. Even a spirit might sneak away, let alone a Con Artist?”

“Is it just my imagination?” Ashe suddenly said. “It seems like, Annan, you don’t really care much about Igor’s defection.”

“Who said that? I care a lot!” Annan replied. “I’m even considering using my beauty to win him back.”

“You? Using your beauty?” Everyone was stunned, and then Ashe immediately shook his head. “No, absolutely not!”

“Why not?” Annan blinked and looked at Ashe with a smirk.

“Because you’re bound to lose!”

“Why would I lose? I’m in the top ten of the Azura Beauty Ranking. How could I not compare to that Dwarf’s sister?”

“Yes, you and Anfel are equally beautiful,” Ashe said, spreading his hands. “But the problem is, your soul is ugly.”

As Annan lunged at Ashe to playfully wrestle with him, the necromancer slowly spoke up, “The Con Artist is indeed acting strangely.”

Banjeet asked, “Why?”

“The Con Artist never cuts off communication with others. It’s not his style,” Harvey said. “Just like, no matter how much I dislike my enemies, I would never refuse to handle their corpses.”

“Could it be that Aunt Bukin feels she no longer has to tolerate you all, so she’s revealing her true nature?” Lise speculated. “Aunt Bukin always said that talking to Uncle Harvey is like sleeping in a coffin.”

“Hmm…?” Harvey asked, puzzled. “But… isn’t that a compliment?”

Lise looked at Ashe in the mirror and suddenly asked, “Dad, do you think Aunt Bukin has really abandoned us?”

“As if my opinion would make any difference…” Ashe said while brushing and blow-drying Lise’s hair. “If it rains, it rains. If a woman wants to marry, she marries. Everyone’s getting married, and I’m still single…”

“So, what do you really think?” Lise hesitated for a moment, then decided to say what the White Queen had told her to. “I don’t think Aunt Bukin will abandon us.”

If anyone in the Funeral Firm understood Igor the best, it wasn’t Annan or Ashe; it was the White Queen, who had once negotiated with him.

“Why do you think that?” the Purple Moth next to her chuckled. “Just because he braids your hair nicely?”

Lise ignored the malicious aunt and looked earnestly at Ashe in the mirror. “He values you all more than you think.”

Ashe lowered his eyelids and said, “I actually don’t care whether Igor abandons us or not.”

Everyone looked at him in shock as Ashe slowly continued, “I’ve now seen three forms of Igor. The first is the sweet-talking Con Artist, which means he’s trying to trick you into giving him something. The second is the Con Artist who deliberately puts you down, which means he’s trying to use you.”

“And the third form is the one I just saw, the Con Artist who distances himself from us.”

Lise asked, “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know,” Ashe replied. “I just see him acting on his own, forcing himself.”

There was a moment of silence before Annan spoke up, “So, do you still believe in him even now? Are you just going to waste your trust like that?”

“No.” Ashe slowly shook his head. “Trust should only be given to those who deserve it.”

After everyone went back to rest, Lise still lingered in bed. Since coming to Belldate, Lise had become increasingly clingy. Ashe figured it was probably because she was in a strange new environment and had to work every day, so it was understandable that she wanted to be pampered a bit. Since Ashe was going to enter the virtual realm later, he let her be.

“Can you not put your feet on my stomach tonight?”

“Then hug me to sleep, Dad!” Lise said excitedly, raising her hands.

Ashe thought it was doable. Given Lise’s surprisingly active sleeping style, she would probably roll away on her own within an hour, so he shouldn’t end up with a numb arm. He allowed her to rest her head on his arm and snuggle into his embrace. Then, he opened the Sorcerer’s Handbook to begin his “virtual realm exploration.”

As his consciousness connected to the virtual realm, Ashe slowly opened his eyes and found himself holding a Witch in his arms.

Deya opened her eyes and found herself sitting on the Observer. As she looked up, she saw his face obscured by a swirling mist!

“Ah!”

They both screamed and quickly separated, looking back simultaneously – the Sword Princess was sitting in the back seat of the sports car, having witnessed their entire encounter!

“Sword Princess, that was just an accident when entering the Virtual Realm,” Deya hurriedly explained. “It really has nothing to do with me. If there’s any blame, it’s the Observer’s fault—”

“We’ve arrived in the Star Shrine area tonight, haven’t we?”

The Sword Princess seemed completely unconcerned with what they had been doing and calmly said, “Don’t waste time. Quickly plan the best route according to the map to gather resources. We’re on a tight schedule tonight.”

Ashe and Deya exchanged glances and quickly nodded. Deya cautiously sat next to the Sword Princess, but the Sword Princess seemed uninterested in her, gazing out at the Reverse Golden Rain.

Soon, Ashe drove to a gemstone mine resource point guarded by an Overlord Raging Slashing Dragon and a group of Dog-headed Dragons. Although this was a formidable monster group that could kill most sorcerers, for the three of them, even without armed troops, it was an easy task to wipe them out and loot the place.

After a glorious victory, Ashe and the others began collecting gemstone materials that their spirits could consume. Ashe found a Sharp Gem, the perfect nourishment for his swordsmanship spirit, and approached the Sword Princess. “Sword Princess, you—”

Smack!

Sonya swiftly slapped away Ashe’s hand as he reached for her shoulder, staring at him with wide eyes and calmly said:

“Don’t touch me.”