Speak of The Devil - Chapter 2

A delicate finger stroked my chest. The tips of his index and middle fingers tickled my chest as if they were walking, and I couldn’t help but open my eyes. A smile formed on my lips at his cute act of waking me up. I grabbed his hand and brought it to my lips, and as I kissed his side, a low laughter echoed in my ear.

“Wake up.”

“What time is it?”

“It is six fifteen. It’s time for you to wake up soon, right?”

The alarm came about fifteen minutes later, and I nodded and lifted my heavy eyelids.

The man had already washed himself, so his hair was wet. Seeing his clear, white skin and wet hair made me feel nauseous. He was not a handsome man who would particularly stand out, but he had a pretty face.

But my reality was that I was so tired that it overcame my sexual desire.

“What happened yesterday?”

“What?”

“You rushed a little bit.”

“I guess you didn’t know, I am a beast in the sheets originally.”

The man laughed as if it was absurd. He was such a sexy and cute man that his body was always moving. The man who used to be the owner of the gay bar I frequented was now running the cafe while entrusting the bar to someone else. It was because he wanted to live his life instead of working at night.

From the days he ran a bar and made me a cocktail, I used to sleep with him occasionally. We were people who had no intention of dating each other at all. To him, I was just one of many partners. Thanks to this, I was able to continue the relationship from time to time while having sex.

Having sex for the sake of each other’s desires while excluding all emotions.

It was the relationship I wanted, but my mouth suddenly became bitter.

“… Hey.”

“What?”

“Am I kind?”

Ha? There was a blatant sneer before the words were finished. I knew it was a funny question, so I laughed along, too.

I wasn’t that kind to men either. It wasn’t that I didn’t have basic manners, but I wasn’t the type to put any effort into maintaining the relationship, and sometimes I wasn’t even polite. It was not like we hadn’t been in touch for a long time, but it was like when we contacted each other in the middle of the night sometimes and were all over each other’s body.

I had already endured it until lunchtime, so I didn’t have much time to greet someone I hadn’t seen in a long time or engage in a conversation. Yesterday I didn’t even have enough time to go to the bar and catch a partner freely. It was then that I thought of this man, so I contacted him without thinking.

“Is it okay to say that you are kind?”

It ended in the form of a question, but it was a clear and decisive answer. It was also the expected answer.

“Then one more.”

Now fully awake, I sat up from the bed and threw a question at the man who was staring at me.

“Do you like me?”

“Are you crazy?”

A knife-like answer came back. The man had a strangely distorted expression on his face as if I was talking bullshit. His face was quite attractive, and I couldn’t help but smile.

A simple no-strings-attached relationship. A relationship that suited one’s taste, but never sprouted any deep feelings, so there was no room for development.

If he answered my question of whether he liked me then and there, I would have been quite bitter. Since we couldn’t accept each other’s feelings, we wouldn’t be able to help but never see each other again. It was like how  I had been estranged from many people who had been by my side.

“Well, I think you’re a good person to have sex with.”

As I fell into silence without even laughing, the man added: I frowned slightly.

“…Ah, you mean it like that.”

“What are you talking about so suddenly? Speak in a way I can understand.”

I pondered for a while, then let out my worries like a sigh. I was able to reveal my inner feelings more comfortably in front of him, perhaps because it started with a relationship where we met as a customer and a bartender.

“… Someone told me to have sex with him.”

“You can do it. Are you afraid he’ll stick with you because he likes you? Since when did you care about that? Isn’t it your hobby to kick someone out who hangs onto you after you’ve had sex?”

“It’s not a hobby. Why would I date someone I don’t want to?”

“Then don’t sleep with him. You always act like you’re a Samaritan until you get fed up.”

“When did I do that? I just have basic manners.”

“Okay, what can I say to you? Well, where did you meet him? Is it someone who doesn’t know about your loose ass?”

The bastard was talking as if there were rumors all over the country that my lower body was loose. Of course, there were some rumors in the gay bar I frequented. Hence, the people who came by were also well aware to the extent that most of them came for one-night stands, so I was comfortable.

Yes, it was comfortable. A situation where there were only people who came to me just wanting to sleep once. But now…

“My boss is gay.”

“No shit?”

“He’s asking me to have sex with him.”

“Isn’t this sexual harassment?”

He exclaimed as if he was stunned, but what really surprised me was the fact I ran into Jung Yiyeon at the bar I frequented. The same bar where they spread rumors about my character.

“So? Are you afraid that you will be fired from the company if you refuse? Are you afraid that your career path will be ruined?”

I shook my head. Jung Yiyeon was not the kind of person who would take revenge or change his attitude just because I turned down the offer to have sex with him. I was sure that saying ‘Be my secretary for the rest of your life’ had nothing to do with sex. The problem was something else.

“… I like him.”

For a moment, the man did not respond.

Saying that I like someone, was it something to be silent about? The man let out a short sigh as he scratched his head, strangely embarrassed.

“Seduce him. What are you worried about?”

“Would you marry me just because our bodies and feelings complement each other? Why would that person ask me to sleep with him in the first place? He’s the same as you and I. Sex is good, but dating is tiring.”

The man shut his mouth again and looked at me softly. He still had a surprised face. The fact that I chose the word “I like you” rather than “love,” but he seemed to notice that it was not just a light feeling.

With a complicated mind, I remembered the conversation I had with him the afternoon before in the car.

‘If I say I like you, what are you going to make of that offer?’

‘It doesn’t matter to me. but if you want me to reciprocate, you’re fired.’

‘I’m not going to get fired.’

I responded bluntly, but inside I cursed him. It was unavoidable as my hand gripping the handle tightened so much force that my bones stood out.

What he asked of me was to be a simple sex partner. There was nothing to misunderstand and we would only have to mix our bodies to our own satisfaction.

Of course, if it was the original me, and if it wasn’t for Jung Yiyeon, I would have welcomed it with open arms.

To have fun, to meet with pleasant emotions, to do pleasant acts, and to break up happily was the relationship I had been pursuing. For quite some time, I was convinced I would never fall in love with another person. Until I fell in love at first sight with a man named Jung Yiyeon I realized that I was such an arrogant person.

So, I could easily guess what Jung Yiyeon was talking about when he offered to become my sex partner. I didn’t even have to ask if he liked me.

Jung Yiyeon would never love me.

“Haa…”

All of this was a first for me. Why was my heart throbbing just by thinking about it?

Even though it wasn’t that I didn’t understand what he wanted, I was hurt the moment I understood his inner meaning, which reminded me of myself. I was so unfamiliar with being hurt by the words and actions of others.

“It’s a matter of whether it’s good to eat even if you have an upset stomach or just watch because you’re afraid of it.”

“Well…you’re right.”

“It’s fascinating. The day has come for you to worry about this.”

The man put his hand on my head and ruffled my hair. It wasn’t teasing, it wasn’t a bad feeling. The decision was mine anyway. Just him hearing my stories and not answering straightforwardly made me feel a little more at ease.

“But the way I see it.”

He messed up my hair a lot. As if I was the only one who didn’t suffer because of love. Any past convenience may have occurred to him, but his face with a lopped smile looked gloomy.

“Can you bear not having a taste of him?”

The consensus was that my reasoning and rationality would be broken down helplessly and there would be no choice for me but to delve into this sticky situation even though I knew it was wrong. So I couldn’t even laugh at his words.

As Jung Yiyeon started working overtime, I could see why his assistants stopped working one after another.

He was a great workaholic. He worked tirelessly from morning until late at night, and I felt sorry for the chief of staff, who assisted him in every day.

But it was my situation that was worse than anyone else. He was once a person who had a terrible mindset that he did not even need to hire an assistant who left work first and was not there when he needed it. So, if he worked overtime, I had no choice but to work overtime.

There were no complaints about the extended working hours. I came in after accepting the condition that my work hours would be flexible in the first place. It was a principle that didn’t matter because I was receiving a lot of money in return.

However, the day before, after leaving work after 9 p.m., I had sex and woke up earlier than usual, so I was more tired than at other times.

Fortunately, Jung Yiyeon had a lunch schedule, so when he went out, I was able to take a break because I didn’t accompany him. Still, it was night and I was tired.

“I’m hungry.”

“Would you like some donuts?”

Jung Yiyeon, who normally said that he would leave because he was hungry after 9 o’clock, was sitting at his desk even after 10 o’clock, so I prepared something for him to eat in advance. Even though he was not a child, he liked sweets, so I had a hard time wanting to buy those for him even though the store was closed.

For a man who was well over 30, he had a peculiar taste. He didn’t like fish, but he liked hamburgers, donuts, bread, and junk food.

“Can I get you some coffee?”

“Okay. Make it mild.”

As requested, drip coffee mixed with water was brought to the desk. He, who had already been munching on a donut before I brought the coffee, looked at me as I set the cup down on the desk. He swallowed what was in his mouth and licked the sugar powder on his lips with his red tongue.

“If I am hungry, you give me food, and if I am thirsty, you give me something to drink.”

I stared at him not answering and he asked,

“Why can’t we have sex?”

The words came out of his mouth carelessly. I froze on the spot as if struck by lightning.

“Do you hate me?”

Oh fuck…! Don’t ask me that with a casual face… My heart was pounding and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I looked up at the face that had dissatisfied eyes and it burned my insides black. The hurt face looked so cute, it made me crazy.

I didn’t want it because it was the other way around.

Unable to come up with an honest answer, I let out a short sigh and shook my head.

“I can’t do that with my boss.”

The fact that he was my boss was perfect in the sense that I could give him excuses as well as be able to hide my feelings.

“Think of it as part of your job.”

… How can giving your body be part of your job?

The man was very shameless. He had a talent for spitting out nonsensical bullshit very casually.

“Considering that the boss is my employer, it’s inevitable that this would be considered as sexual favors.”

I tried to speak as bluntly as possible. I was a little tired, and there was nothing I could do about it.

But the moment Jung Yiyeon opened his mouth.

“Then what if I’m going crazy right now?”

Thud. My heart plummeted to the floor and started to flutter. No, why are you going crazy? Why, why? Me, are you saying you’re going crazy because I’m in front of you? Are you saying you keep noticing me? No matter how hard you try, do you keep thinking of me? Are you crazy about me?

But the words that came out of his mouth were never the same as my thoughts.

“If my way of relieving stress were to eat, you would have bought me food, and if I were playing games, you would have brought me a game machine. You are such a sweet secretary.”

“…Well, that’s the gist of it.”

“But why can’t I relieve stress by having sex? Yeah? Why? Why not? I’m not asking you to date me, I’m asking you to have sex. What’s the difference between sweating in a sauna and on the bed?”

“Is that even the same?”

“Of course it is different. But there’s nothing you can’t do about it. Sex.”

Oh, please stop talking about sex…! Every time that pretty and even sensual lips spit out the word mixed with those two syllables, I felt like I was going to die. I feel like I want to take off my clothes right away and plant a kiss on his lips.

It’s me who’s crazy. I’m gonna die. Please save me

“… You are so stubborn.”

“My mouth is dry because I keep seeing Secretary Lee in front of me…”

“I wonder if I should go home?”

“Do you want me to fire you?”

“… I’m being sexually harassed”

“I want to molest you while I’m at it.”

Wow. Why do I keep listening to him? It was such a moment where a higher-up was using his power to make his employees relent to his orders. But why is my ear all red and my heart is pounding?

It was utterly disconcerting. Jung Yiyeon also knew that I was a good match, so I could understand why he was acting like this, but a stabbing feeling inside my ribcage kept spreading.

“You shouldn’t have let me find out you are gay.”

Jung Yiyeon smirked as he said those words. It was said too plainly for someone clinging to sex. It was like if I said no, he wouldn’t ask me again.

It would go back to how it was before.

Back when we didn’t know that the other was gay, back when we weren’t interested in it at all. With Jung Yiyeon who didn’t even have the heart to remember my name.

“… I don’t like it. If the relationship goes wrong, won’t I lose my job even after paying all the sexual favors?”

I rejected it once again. Forgetting the words “I like you”. Giving the cowardly reason that I would be responsible for my career instability.

“I can take responsibility and transfer you to a better job. How do you live worrying about things like that? Enjoy the present.”

“I am having a good enough time.”

“That’s why you’ve been acting like a chick on drugs all day”

He was observing me…? No, the eyes I met were as dry and professional as before, but he was watching me without me knowing. All of a sudden, goosebumps ran down my spine. This bastard. He keeps making people’s hearts flutter…!

“A lover or a sex partner. It doesn’t matter if it’s not me, right? It doesn’t have to be me, and I don’t want the relationship to become difficult just because we got tangled up.”

“Aren’t we both so busy that we can’t lure someone else to bed? Sex to satisfy desire, is it bad to think about efficiency?”

I knew it was nonsense, and Jung Yiyeon knew it too. It was nothing more than a child throwing tantrums.

Nevertheless, if I had no feelings for Jung Yiyeon, it was a proposal that I would have accepted without even thinking about it.

Jung Yiyeon was an attractive man, and from my perspective, if he was tired of finding someone to have sex with, I would have grabbed his hand. As he said, wouldn’t it be very effective in that you can satisfy your needs without effort?

But now I like him.

“Great. One more time. I won’t make the same offer again.”

He’s been in my heart more deeply than anyone I’ve ever met…

“Secretary Lee. Sleep with me.”

… I was just confused. The ultimatum fell from his mouth, and my stomach churned and my head was dizzy.

I couldn’t decide anything, but I had to make a choice. If not now, there wouldn’t be another time to think about it.

It would be painful

I would regret throwing away the chance to hold him, and I would suffer from not being able to reach him.

‘Can you bear not having a taste of him?’

I remembered the conversation we had this morning. Along with the sad face that the man who said those words showed at that moment. At that moment, maybe I had a sense of my future. I laughed bitterly,

I swallowed the smile and chose. I uttered a single word in a voice that did not tremble.

“Are you going to bottom?”