Star Wars: 30 Years Later The Real Story - Chapter 30

Finn was grabbing his head and felt a terrible headache at this moment. He was in a room along with Han, Chewee and Luke talking about the strategy to infiltrate the StarKiller Base. General Organa had gone out moments earlier since she was needed in other place but her face was extremely clear about her opinion about the plan and her displease was more than obvious.

– “That’s not a plan”- had said Leia before an officer came to give her a communication- “It’s suicide!”

It was obvious that she wanted to say much more but the communication seemed to be very important and she had to go.

– “It is possible, Sis”- said Luke with a comforting tone before she went out- “I can do it. Trust me.”

Leia looked at Luke and Han with impatience but she said no more and just left. Luke looked at Han this just shrugged before repeating the plan once more in more detail.

– “The timing and execution must be precise to the milisecond”- said Luke analyzing the data and simulations.

– “Even with the help of the computers and droids, the slight mistake would doom us and the mission”- said Finn who was extremely dubious- “are you sure there’s no other plan?”

– “No with the time we have now”- said Luke who sighed- “what do you think R2?”

– “Bebeepopopi”- replied the little blue droid.

– “Of course he can!”- said Han running more simulations in order to improve the plan even more- “R2 is more than capable, isn’t it right?”

R2 beeped in anger saying that he was a mecha droid and not a miracle maker but he still continued doing hundreds of calculations knowing that the plan would be carried out anyway and he only could do his best.

– “Just trust and follow, Big Deal”- said Han slapping Finn’s back- “now let’s go and rest. I don’t think we can improve the plan much more. Go and eat something it may be the last thing you do. Hahaha”

Finn shook his head in disbelief. He did not understand how Han could maintain such attitude knowing that any error would mean their death. He wondered if that was his way of dealing with nervousness and he was sure he would never be able to be like that. When he was walking on the hall, he remembered something and returned. He immediately saw General Skywalker coming his way .

– “General Skywalker”- he called and Luke looked at him with curiosity- “I have something that it is yours.”

They went to the room Maz had ȧssigned to Finn ad the young man grabbed the lightsaber that the Queen of Pirates had given him. He immediately returned to Luke and handed it to him.

– “This…”- Luke immediately recognized the Jedi weapon and he started to ċȧrėss it while being lost in the memories that it provoked in him.

Luke remembered the first time he had seen it and touched when Obi Wan gave it to him. The time he spent training with it and the first time he had dueled with Darth Vader. He did not know the truth in that moment and he had fought with this lightsaber with all his might just to be outclassed and defeated by who later he would discover would be his father. He had lost the weapon that day along with his right hand and he thought that it had been lost forever.

– “How did you find it?”- asked Luke who could not hide his surprise.

– “It was Maz Kanata, Sir”- replied Finn and he told him what had happened in the battle of Takodana- “if you want more information, I think you should talk to Maz Kanata.”

– “I see”- said Luke and he put the lightsaber away under his robe- “Thanks, Finn”

Finn nodded and he satrted to move to go to sleep but he noticed the look in the general’s eyes and he wondered if he wanted to talk with him. Luke’s eyes were very deep and analytical and Finn noticed that Luke was taking a decisison and i seemed to be a very serious and difficult one. Finn decided to stay and wait patiently. After a while, Luke sighed and looked at Finn with decision.

– “I know you must be tired”- said Luke using a polite voice- “but if you can spare some time, I think I can return the favor for this lightsaber. Are you fine with it?”

– “Sure, General”- replied Finn knowing that whatever it was it must be important.

– “Good… Follow me”- said Luke and immediately started to walk and Finn obeyed.

They went for many halls and Finn could see everyone extremely busy. Many men and women from different races were coming and going with papers and objects in their hands while rushing from one place to another like a mad beehive workers. It was very obvious that all were giving their best for the attack of the next day. Luke advanced evading and cutting through the wave of people they encounter in their way with very refined and calculated moves which did not waste any energy. Finn thought he was tired and he was overthinking when they finally arrived to a big door that Luke opened with a card. The place was very spacious and it was like a colisseum with a lot of training equipment. Finn imagined that it was where the Takodana forces use to train.

– “Finn…”- said Luke taking Finn out of his own thoughts.

– “Yes, General”- replied Finn and he unconciously straigthened his posture.

– “What do you know about Kylo Ren and his Knights of Ren?”- asked Luke looking at Finn directly at his eyes.

– “The information we received about them was very limited, Sir”- replied Finn thinking that maybe Luke did not trust him completely- “we only knew that they were an elite force that never failed in their missions”

– “What do you think about them after facing them in battle”- asked Luke once again.

– “They are scarier than I had imagined”- said Finn remembering how he had almost died against them and how powerless he had felt in front of them- “their fighting capabilities cannot be considered human anymore and those strange powers they can use are just too illogical and crazy. It was like magic.”

– “And yet…”- said Luke who smiled when he heard his copmment about the Force being like magic- “According to Han you managed to hold your ground for a while against a Knight of Ren using this lightsaber”

– “To be honest, he was just toying with me”-replied Finn with a self deprecating smile- “He could finish me off at any moment. It was luck…”

Luke smiled warmly remembering how Obi Wan had replied when he had heard the same words of this young man.

– “In my experience there’s not such thing as luck”- Luke said having understood why his old mentor had said that after years of battles and countless mortal encounters- “but of course, I understand why you say that. You mentioned these powers that are like magic, right?”

– “Yes, General”- said Finn who had seen these people just crazy things like moving objects without touching them, moving faster than was physically possible and even blocking balsters with their lightsabers.

– “You mean like this?”- said Luke and he pointed his hand to a helmet that was many meters away from them. Finn was shocked to see the helmet flying in theair directly to the hand of Luke who caught it with no emotion whatsoever. It was as if it had been something natural and common- “or like this?”

He waved his hand and a training droid activated in the distance. Finn was extremely shocked and he did not know how to explain what was happening. Was it a trick? Luke smiled and put on the helmet on his head. Just then, Finn noticed that the visor of it had been replaced by a metallic layer which meant that the user was blinded completely. The training droid floated around Luke who activated the lightsaber that Finn had returned and waited patiently. After some moments, the droid shot stuning bolts to Luke.

– “Careful…”- said Finn but he shut up completely when he saw that Luke had blocked the shot with the lightsaber and was completely fine.

Finn was surprised but the surprise turned into shock when the general continued blocking the shots of the droid one after another even when the droid tried to attack from different angles and timing. Finn could not understand how he could guess where the shots came from whle being completely blind.

– “How?”- he finally asked while also remembering how the knights of Ren did the same with real ammo.

– “With the Force…”- said Luke after deactivating the droid and taking off the helmet.

– “The Force?”- repeated Finn in confusion but after looking in his memory, he remembered the time when he had met Han and he had mentioned the mumbo jumbo that he had to admit it was real in the end.

– “There is a more scientifical explanation but it would take too much time to explain it like that”- said Luke looking at the helmet fondly returning to the times when he discover the Force himself- “And personally I prefer the simple idea that once a great master called Obi Wan Kenobi used to explain it to me… ‘the Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It’s an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us; it binds the galaxy together.’”

Finn put a confused expression and Luke smiled at him and once again remembered the beginnings of his training when the Force was still an ethereal and confusing concept.

– “Is it what allows you to do those crazy things like deflect blasters or lift things in the air or stop blasters in mid air?”- asked Finn remembering what he had seen Kylo Ren and his knights do

– “Yes”- said Luke smiling- “those abilities may look like magic but once you understand the Force, those things are normal and you can do even more incredible things.”

– “The knight of Ren that we fought mentioned that the unit I belonged to was formed by potential candidates”

– “We had informaiton about that”- said Luke with a sigh- “the First Order is training Force sėnsɨtɨvė people to make them puppets of the Supreme Leader.”

– “So… does it mean I can also do that?”- thought Finn feeling kind of doubting since his logic could not allow to think the things Luke and the Knights of Ren did were normal. Then he remembered something and asked directly- “When the Hosnian System was destroyed… I could heard voices of fear and desperation… more than that I could feel their emotions as they went to silence… is that also part of it?”

Luke nodded in sadness since he had also felt it even in the far Queluhan Nebula, even though he did not know what it had been until the knights of Ren had told him of the destruction they provoked. Luke advanced and put a hand in Finn’s shoulder and close his eyes to focus. Finn felt something weird.. as if something was running around in his body.

– “Yes… I feel a small connection with the Force within you…”- said Luke after a while and then he put off his hand from Finn- “it’s not a deep connection for now, but with practice and dedication you could strenghten it.”

– “Really?- asked Finn with willingness feeling that if he were to have that power, he could answer many of his doubts and fears.

– “However… I also detect fear… a big fear…”- said Luke with worry.

– “Is that a problem?”- asked Finn knowing himself

– “Fear is the path to the dark side”- said Luke quoting Master Yoda- “Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

– “Dark side?”- repeated Finn not understanding

– “It means you could become like the knights of Ren…”- said Luke with a serious expression- if you fall into the dark side of the Force… you will become cruel, merciless and someone with no sense of love whatsoever… the Dark Side is very tempting and most of the people who fell into it can not return.”

– “It is true that I feel fear… but who does not?”- said Finn not understanding- “aren’t fear, anger and hate normal emotions in life?”

– “They are and the Dark side is just another part of the Force”- said Luke looking at Finn with curiosity- “but if you let those feelings to control and guide you, it will lead to your destruction”

– “Then I will conquer them”- said Finn with decision- “I can’t say that I won’t feel those emotions but I will never permit them to change who I am… I will submit them to my will.”

Luke smiled since Finn reminded him of himself when he was trying to convince Yoda to train him. He also had said he felt fear in him but later Yoda accepted that in the end one should choose his own destiny.

– “We will see if that is true”- said Luke having some doubtsbut also remembering a very specific style from the past which had also helping him a lot to master his own lightsaber style- “there were a few Jedi masters who were able to use the dark side to gain strength without falling into it.”

– “So it is possible”- said Finn with eyes full of decision- “So… can I try it?”

– “Do or do not”- said Luke and handed the lightsaber of his father to Finn who received it in confusion- “There’s no try!”

– “First you must feel the connection with the Force so you can use it to help you”- explained Luke with a serious tone- “this method is actually one of the most effective and has helped generations of Jedi to gain a better understanding of how the Force works.”

He activated the lightsaber and felt that comfortable hum and buzz as long as the slight vibration in his hand. The droid moved around and Finn tried to follow the sound of it. Finn was wondering what was he supposed to do next when he received two painful shocks on his shoulder and stomach. There was not damage since the training droid was set in the lowest level of stun shots but it still caused discomfort to Finn.

– “Try to feel the Force around you”- said Luke walking around the young man- “let it guide you”

Finn thought that explanation was just too abstract and he did not know what to look for, he still followed the humming sound of the droid but immediately he received three shots which caused him to writhe in pain and almost made him let go the lightsaber.

– “Stop trying to use your senses and use your instincts”- said Luke who had seen the same scene many times when he had trained padawans in his academy- “your senses will cloud you but the Force will show you the true way but only if you let it.”

– “I don’t know how”- complained Finn who felt like a man lost in a giant city without a guide- “isn’t there a way to explain what I’m looking for?”

– “Unfortunately nobody can help you to feel the Force”- said Luke with sincerity- “it is something personal and intimate and only you can do it”

Finn failed again and again and he started to feel frustrated. He started to have the impulse to just give up when he felt something strange. Just before being shot again he had a faint feeling but he felt the pain before he could analyze it. Having nothing better he tried to feel that sensation again but he did not feel it until just a brief moment before being shot.

– “He is starting to feel it?”- wondered Luke seeing the focus in Finn.

Finn felt the sensation better with every shot. He could not explain it but it was as if something was trying to guide him somehow. He started to follow the sensation and he noticed that the feeling was indicating him where the shot would go or at least the area.

– “The next should be the arm and the left leg?”- he thought and almost immediately he felt the shots in his upper arm and in his left ankle- “ouch!”

He doubted and wonder if that was what Luke was talking about but that moment of doubt cost him painful hits by the blaster. Finn did not give up and started to feel that something again. Luke smiled when he saw Finn moving the lightsaber closer to the area where the droid was shooting. The area was still too wide and way off mark but Luke noticed he was getting better by the minute. He did not make any comments and let Finn find his own way.

– “Am I thinking too much about this?”- wondered Finn feeling the doubts consuming his will to continue- “No! I know I’m doing it. I just need to focus more!”

He refused to give up and once again he found the feeling that was like a ċȧrėss and a whisper at the same time. He stopped trying to think about it and just let his body move according to it and somehow he knew that he had done exactly what he needed, but he was just too slow in his reaction. He received the two shots on his ċhėst and forearm.

– “Almost! Just a little more!”- he encouraged himself and let the feeling guide him once again.

He somehow knew the next round of shots would be three so he decided to ignore the first two and focus in the last one. Finn received the two first blasters and then used all his focus on the last one, he did not think about it and just let his body moved in the direction that the sensation was guiding him and he then managed to block the last shot with the lightsaber. He felt the impact and Finn imediately put off the helmet feeling a great sensation of accomplishment.

– “I did it… Yeah! Haha, who said I could not do it!””- said Finn very excited and feeling that he had discovered something extremely amazing. He started to jump in exhilaration and then he got closer to Luke who just observed him with a calm expression and a smile- “I could somehow feel it… it was like if I knew where it was going to fly but at the same time I didn’t,”

– “It’s a good start. Good job, Finn”- said Luke smiling and congratulating him- “once you are able to let the Force guide you, this will be natural. Do it again until you can feel the connection very clearly”

Finn controlled himself and then he felt a little embarrased for his previous outburst so he shily nodded and put on the helmet again. For the next half an hour, Finn practiced with the Helmet and the droid but his success level was very irregular and Luke wondered why.

– “Maybe it is his rationale”- said Luke and he remembered how Yoda said that it was difficult to teach padawans that were too old and supposed this was he meant- “Ok. stop!”

Finn put off the helmet and Luke could see the confusion in his face. Sometimes he could feel the guidance of the Force as clearly as a sunny day but others he only felt darkness and chaos… He did not know how to control it at all. After the emotion of the first success, he once again felt frustrated for not being able to be constant.

– “Don’t rush, Finn”- said Luke trying to calm him down- “you’re just starting and like any skill, you just need more practice. The important thing is that you already felt the conection with the Force… and that alone puts you in a different level from other people. Don’t forget that feeling since that will help you in many ways including lightsaber training. After saying that, he took out another lightsaber from under his robe and activated it with a powerful buzz which showed a dashing green light- “on guard.”

Finn saw in awe the green blade that shone out of the lightsaber of Luke and he had the impression that the general had gotten bigger for some reason.

– “Are you sure?”- said Finn knowing that a bad move could accidentaly injure or even kill any of them.

– “It’s better to practice now since you could find another knight of Ren.”- said Luke showing a relaxed expression- “also, after some exercise I ȧssure you will sleep soundly and be ready for tomorrow mission.”

Finn rose the lightsaber and launched himself against Luke who patiently waited for his attack and easily parried and blocked his advances.

– “Not only swing the blade… feel the Force like before and swing it with it”- said Luke while easily deflecting Finn’s attempts on him and finally he made Finn fall to the floor- “Let the Force guide your attacks… focus on that feeling and try again.”

Finn tried to remember that feeling… it was like knowing where the blaster was going to go and he knew where the lightsaber should go. Luke smiled when he saw the young man focusing and he used that moment to attack with simple swings. Having been taken by surprise Finn just reacted by instinct and surprisingly parried the attacks of Luke.

– “Good! The Force will let you react in a natural and efficient way, just like you did now”- said Luke continuing with a series of basic slashes and stabs- “Use your instincts led by the Force and you will be invincible.”

Finn tried to attack Luke but in a moment he pushed him to the floor after evading his slash and using the impulse against himself.

– “Don’t lose concentration”- said Luke- “it will be a method the Sith use a lot. In a lightsaber duel the one who loses is the one who gets distracted first.”

– “Like what?”

– “Attack!”

Finn attacked again and once again Luke kept the dueling very basic and Finn even seemed to be gaining terrain.

– “You know Rey is already dead, don’t you?”- said Luke with a sarcastic tone and almost immediately Finn did not know how to react. Finn’s guard was broken for a second but that was enough for Luke to give him a punch in his belly and send him to the floor.- “just like that…”

– “Why did you say that?”- said Finn getting angry for the words Luke had said to him.

– “Control your emotions and feelings…”- said Luke- “You are a soldier. You know that a distraction in the middle of battle is mortal. The enemy will try to do that… don’t give them the chance. You said you would make those feelings submit, didn’t you? Then do it and attack again!”

Finn stood up and managed to control his emotions. It was true that he had let his emotions run wild and it had happened the same the first time he had fought with knight of Ren. He had tried to make him angry every time he could. He had to be prepared for the next time since he knew that this was a very effective method.

– “Good…”- said Luke nooding in approval- “now again…”

The training session continued for another two hours until Finn was left gasping and breatheless on the floor.

– “I suppose you will have no problem sleeping”- said Luke who seemed as cool as a cucumber and not tired at all.

– “Not at all, general”- said Finn who just wanted to take a shower and go to bed- “its an incredible feeling but I dont know if I will be able to use it in real combat.”

– “Learn to crawl before running, Finn”- said Luke placing a hand on his shoulder. He really liked this young man and he expected many good things from him- “everyone had to start like you… the knights of Ren and even Kylo Ren was the same”

– “You too?”

– “Of course!… However, dont use it if you don’t feel sure.”- said Luke with a serious expression- “Use the weapons that you have mastered already… I’ve heard you’re an extremely proficient shooter.”

Finn handed the lightsaber to Luke and he received it and looked at it with tender eyes remembering his father and his last sacrifice for him. Then after some seconds of decision, he returned the lightsaber to Finn who seemed to be surprised.

– “The force allowed you to have this lightsaber and I’m sure there’s a reason for that”- said Luke who seemed to be conflicted but after a short moment of indecision he placed the lightsaber on Finn’s hand- “until The Force reveals the reason behind it… I think you should keep it.”

– “Are you sure?”- said Finn who could see his hesitation.

– “No, but sometimes we have to have faith”- said Luke and then he searched for something in a ċhėst he had in the room… it was a black belt which seemed like a tactical one- “this a belt Jedis used to use. I think you will find it practical and you can take the lightsaber in a safer way.”

– “Thanks”- said Finn wearing it and then he went to the door but before going he turned around- “can I return other day to practice again?”

Luke thought about it and he remembered what had happened with his padawans in the new Jedi Academy and a doubt started to creep in his mind. Did he deserve to teach another people after what happened? Didn’t the same thing would happen again if he tried? After his failure in saving his padawans, Luke had decided to never train another Jedi in fear of creating another Kylo Ren. Without noticing, he had broken his decision after seeing the honest eyes of the young man in front of him. He still could see the emotion and curiosity of someone who had discovered the Force as many of his beloved younglings had so many years ago. If they were alive, many of them would have the same age as Finn.

“We’ll see after the battle”- said Luke smiling warmly at Finn- “go and rest… remember that sleep is also a weapon”

Finn went away and Luke sat down remembering the days when he trained the new generation of Jedis and te joy it brought… but also it broght him a terrible feeling of sadness and emptiness when he lost everything. He didnt want to pass the same but the appearance of Finn was a sign of the Force… maybe he will have to teach once again even though he feel reluctant by doing it… maybe it was what he needed…

– “Do I have the right to guide him in the ways of the Force?”- wondered Luke and then he remembered the emotion he felt teaching Finn. He had not felt like this in so many years and he yearned for feeling it again but he knew that he could not make a decision for now and so he stayed looking to the nothingness for a while. However, inside of his mind instead of nothingness there was a terrible vision of the past… one of desolation, fire and death…