Star Wars New Order - Volume 1 Chapter 17 Knight Trials 4
Having rested enough Vaner stood up and pick his shoe and robe up before putting them back. Having dressed himself again Vaner headed to the door and exit the trial chamber.
Arriving in the hall none of the Jedi masters could see from Vaner that he had gone through the trial as nothing could be seen from his face which was as unexpressive as always. Only the Cerean who was his master could see the exhaustion hidden behind but he could also feel that his inexpressive face had become colder than it was before he had entered the room.
“I finished the trial when is the next one” asks Vaner in a neutral tone
Looking at Vaner the Zabrak let out a discrete sneer before saying in a despising voice “The goal is not to finish the trial but to pass them Padawan”
“Then you don’t need to worry Master I pass it, I was just resting a little” answered Vaner not caring for the tone of the Jedi Master. Eeth Koth turns his head looking at Even Piell who nods at him while gnashing his teeth silently.
“Since you succeed the trial of the flesh then your only left with the trial of the spirit. For this trial, a master will follow you to keep an eye on you during your meditation. So if you have a problem during your trial he can help you and make you leave your meditative state.” Said the Kel Dor Jedi master
“I understand Master” replied Vaner
“His trial oversees I will” say Yoda before slowly heading toward the room. Seeing Master Yoda moves toward the room Vaner followed closely.
Master Windu looked at the whole scene without saying a thing before closing his eyes thoughtfully while Ki-Adi-Mundi starts to feel a little stressful as the trial of spirit was probably the hardest for Vaner.
This trial was probably the hardest for Vaner as in this trial the Padawan was against their most dangerous enemy, this enemy was none other than themselves more precisely it was their darkness. However, it wasn’t really darkness in itself, it was more what the order considered has darkness, so anything that could lead you to the dark side could be found in this trials, your fear, greed, anger and other emotion even love; any part of your inner self that wasn’t following exactly the Jedi code would be in this trial.
And so, this trial had broken more than one potential Jedi knight who became overwhelmed by what was hidden in themselves not able to fight it and go beyond. The dangerous part of this trial was that in all happened in the head of the Padawan and if he didn’t like what he saw, the traumatic experience could haunt him forever blocking from progress anymore in the Jedi path.
“Well, I must say that I am surprised he could go this far. However, don’t you think you should stop him, Master Mundi. Even if he succeeds in the previous trials the trial of the spirit will probably cripple him, you should stop him now and make meditate on the Jedi code for a few years so he can succeed this one.” Said Eeth Koth
“Master Koth, my Padawan is ready to become a knight and none of your little plots will work. Your little group won’t be able to keep him in a cage much longer whether you like it or not” answers Ki-Adi-Mundi without any anger but with a subtle taunting tone.
“Don’t regret it later when he will be haunted by his failure” said Even Pieel who had been silent until now.
In the Chamber Master Yoda and Vaner had sat with master Yoda sitting behind Vaner.
The room had once again changed, this time the room was circular and totally empty. The walls were smooth and curved creating a vaulted ceiling that was hidden in the darkness above him created by the distance.
The room didn’t have any windows but was lightened thanks to a green crystal in the center of the room whose light was being reflected by the polished walls and floor.
Vaner was kneeling on the gournd with his foot tucked under him. On his legs rested his lightsaber on which were his hands. Seeing Vaner ready Yoda said “Young Shan, your last trial it is, the hardest for most it is. Hamm, Yes. Your darkness face you will”
“I understand Master Yoda” replied Vaner before closing his eyes slowly entering a deep meditative state while gently stroking the hilt of his lightsaber.
Vaner was kneeling on the ground for quite a long time when he opened his eyes to ask Master Yoda why he still hadn’t seen his dark side. Opening his eyes Vaner realized that he was not in the trial room anymore.
The room had changed, now the room was made of white and grey walls. Seeing this room Vaner knew that he had succeeded to enter the deep meditative state without knowing it. He recognizes this room, this was his when he was still a kid in his previous life.
‘So, here is my darkness’ thought Vaner shortly before hearing some cry coming from downstairs. With these cries, the doubt Vaner had about his darkness was answered. ‘So, it really is this night’. Gently catching his lightsaber Vaner slowly stood up before heading to the door.
Opening it the scream full of fear and panic could be heard more clearly than ever. Vaner headed downstairs step after step as his grip on his lightsaber tightened after each step. Knowing the house, he knew once downstairs that he only needed to walk through the corridor and turn right he would be there.
“No stop please, please. I beg you stop they did nothing even if you want to kill me leave the girls” said a feminine voice full fear and despair.
Hearing these cry Vaner tried to accelerate however no matter how fast he moved he didn’t advance much as if the corridor had become endless. Soon the screams had died down only wailing full of sorrow, fear and despair were heard before they also die down in the last scream full of pain.
Hearing this last scream Vaner knew it had all end, his left hand which wasn’t holding his lightsaber was bleeding from strength his fist was clenched. Entering the room, he saw the same scene as back then. His father was standing with an axe full of in hand with a blank stare. His mother corps was a little behind his father, the body was mangled almost everywhere with an arm almost apart from the body only holding there thanks to a few pieces of flesh. Looking at her face full of despair Vaner felt like he was back to this night.
Before his father was two small bodies, two young girls around 3 and 7 years old. The oldest was holding the youngest in her arms. The two of them contrarily to their mother weren’t mutilated but only had a clean cut on their neck.
Vaner stood frozen for some time before his body relaxed, he knew all of this was fake, it was only a dark memory of an old-time from an old life. Vaner soon regains control of himself as his hand start to unclench. However, as Vaner was overcoming his emotion his former father moved and turn toward him.
Seeing his father looking at him Vaner was frightened at what he saw. “Frightened, what are you so afraid about. This is what we are after all.” Said his father.
While his father was talking the scene change around them and at the same time his father changed too, his body became like his but not his current self but his former one but his.
This time they were in an apartment and m.o.a.ning sound could be heard everywhere as it resonates. Hearing this Vaner turns to his other-self. “Are you planning to go through them all” said Vaner in a calm and emotionless voice.
“You see, this is what this trial is about. Fighting your own darkness, in our case what do we fear the most is our blood. Being like our father, grandmother and other ancestor and not being able to restrain our own urge to kill” said his other self has he start to walk toward the bedroom.
Hearing him Vaner start to laugh, his laugh soon became uncontrollable and tear start to run down his cheeks. This causes his dark side to stop and look confusedly at Vaner.
“Sorry, sorry I couldn’t stop myself,” said Vaner with a large smile on his face making look like a mad man. “Do you really think that I still fear this, I agree I feared it my whole previous life. I still believe this bloodline is cursed or parent wouldn’t kill their family or become a serial killer for generation, but this has strictly nothing to do with me now. Even if this “curse” was still here I can kill all I want soon enough.” Said Vaner relatively calmly at the beginning but his voice became strong and hoarse at the end.
As his voice vanished the apartment starts to tremble and soon the whole apartment collapse engulfing everything beside Vaner.
“Well this was easier than plan” said Vaner to himself. Vaner thought it was finished but he heard footsteps coming from behind. Turning around Vaner could see Darth Vader slowly advancing toward him.
“Oh, so this time you got it right” said Vaner before turning on his lightsaber
“It wasn’t that I was wrong the first time, you do fear yourself more than you thinks but a whole life of being in control of you emotion with your current one as a Jedi and the fact that killing here wouldn’t have consequences make it easy for you to overcome this fear” said the Vader in his eerie and mechanical voice.
‘So not even bothering to hide the fact that you are myself’ thought Vaner before saying “Well it doesn’t matter anyway, I destroy you then I am done here”
“This is where you are wrong, you can’t destroy me as I am you and will be your future” said his other self
“My future” said Vaner before following in a cold voice “oh no, whether it is my future or anything I am careful since the beginning. I will not follow his footsteps, I will not be a slave for my whole life, I will be free and if there is slave it will be other not me”
Vaner understood what Vader represents. This trial showed the Padawan his own fear and it forced him to understand himself more if he failed then sequels would haunt him. Vaner knew his fear, he knew himself really well. Vader being here was not him fearing the dark side of the Force but him fearing Anakin fate.
More precisely he feared his life, he feared to live a life like his without freedom always being the slave of another. First, he was a real slave, then he works like one for the Jedi, then became one for Darth Sidious and for the dark side of the Force. This was what Vaner feared being always controlled by others without real freedom.
“Even if you know you are not ready, you can’t destroy me as you are now because you still can’t free yourself from the Jedi. To free yourself from the Jedi you will need to go past me which you can’t and so this circle will condemn you to eternal confinement and suppresion” said Vaner Vader before activating his lightsaber and rushing at Vaner.
Seeing his Vader self rushing at him Vaner only chuckles while saying “You are right as I am right now I can’t, however, I just need to change a little”. Vaner then slowly raised his left hand while forming a grippe gesture.
The Vaner Vader suddenly stopped and let his lightsaber fall to the ground while grasping his neck. This reflex action stop rapidly as he then uses the Force to go against the Force choke. Seeing his “dark side” struggles like this made Vaner laugh “You are such a disappointment” said Vaner before increasing the strength of his Force choke.
“Youyou hideyour strength” said the other Vaner struggling to speak as all his effort was on liberating his trachea however even with all his strength, he couldn’t cancel the Force chock.
“Why would I show everything in the previous trials. You are me even if you are weaker you should think like me, no? I made my research about the trials and I found some interesting things, first the trial of spirit is always the last one and secondly, you can’t face your own darkness in such fashion unless there is a dark-side Force nexus close.” Said Vaner as played with his own darkness by releasing his Force chock before strengthening it again.
“However, the Jedi wouldn’t throw their Padawan in the Force nexus so they need to control it. And here I thought that the previous trial had another goal which was estimating the Padawan strength in the Force and so I downplay my own so this trial will easier and it seems I was right” explains Vaner
“Well time to end this, after all, I need to prepare my trip in the galaxy you know” said Vaner while putting away his lightsaber fastening it at his belt. Then Vaner raised his right hand and as his pupils start to have a dark yellow glow. An instant later light blue Force lightning came out of his hand and crash on his other self who tried to stop it.
However, in its struggle to stop the lightning he couldn’t offset the effect of the Force chock and Vaner strengthen its effect breaking his neck. As the cracking sound was heard the surrounding start to crumble and soon Vaner was back to the trial chamber still sit on the ground with his lightsaber on his legs.
