Starting a Night Shift Part-time Job at a Convenience Store - Chapter 18.4: A World Without Exit IV

Undoubtedly, what penetrated my ear from the telephone receiver―was Kinoshita’s voice.

“Kinoshita…! Is that you, Kinoshita!!”

[Masa… why… where are you… now…]

“That’s what I want to know! Listen to me, Kinoshita! I know it sounds unbelievable but listen to me! Right now, I’m in the middle of a crazy place…!!”

Before I could even begin to wonder, I explained my current predicament as succinctly as I could, figuring that this must be a thread of salvation offered to me from heaven.

“Please save me!”

I knew I was talking an absurd amount of nonsense.

“I am locked up in a hospital that I don’t even know what’s going on…! I don’t have a clue what’s going on, and I’m going crazy at this rate…! Please save me! Save me, Kinoshita!!”

[…Masa…]

After a long silence, Kinoshita replied in a skeptical voice. Why was this ever-so-optimistic and jovial guy sounding so subdued and low spirited?

[You… are you really… Masa?]

“Hah!? W-What are you on about… don’t you recognize my voice!?”

“…It must be a lie… No way…]

“Kinoshita! Hey…!!”

[…There’s no way… that’s possible…]

“W-What…”

[…You… who are you…]

“What, ah…!?”

[Stop it… it can’t be, that can’t be…]

“What are you talking about, Kinoshita… it’s me…!”

[No… because… because… Masa is…]

―supposed to be dead.

[You fell… into a cliff…!!]

―and died.

After hearing that last word, the telephone receiver, made of plastic, dropped to my feet. As I leaned against a nearby wall, my whole body released all of its strength in one fell swoop.

I couldn’t believe it. Even if I did, I couldn’t accept it.

[Masa is supposed to be dead―]

I couldn’t actually feel it. I didn’t even feel like I was dead, not even in the slightest.

My mind was slowly coming to terms with the reality that I was already deceased and had lost my physical body after initially denying it with all its might. It felt as though venom had infected my mind.

This suffocating, oppressive air. The occasional moan or lament. An enclosed space with no exit.

By all appearances, this was not the world of reality. On the other hand, neither was it a dream. Nor did it strike me as heaven. If so, it was hell… or perhaps it wasn’t. All I knew was that I was long dead, true to what the mad doctor and Kinoshita had told me.

This was the afterlife where those who met their demise in the sea of trees would end up.

Takenaka told me this before. When a person died in the sea of trees, it was beyond their reach to rest in peace. Bound by an inordinately intense spiritual magnetic field, they remained fixed as a part of it. Years and decades passed without the dead being able to move on, and those who remained fixed in place found their fate at…

“I’m going to… end up the same way huh…”

In that place, the next time I tried to drag someone else in, I likewise would become the same as the horrific vengeful spirits I had seen before…

Right as I thought that, the pain in my right eye spiked up and black fluid started to overflow from the back of my eye like mud. Horrified by the unrelenting pain and the unceasing spilling of the black liquid, a scream erupted from me.

Keeping my eyes open was too painful. With my vision reduced to only half vision, I came to a realization at this point.

At this rate, I would cease to be myself. This world was already trying to engulf me.

“Hyuga…”

This must be the outcome that Hyuga desired. I still couldn’t accept it head on at this stage of time.

This was punishment, a punishment for driving a person to death. I wouldn’t deny it anymore. But… I felt regretful. It was way too much.

If I continued to despair and turned into an evil spirit and forgot everything, I would lose all memory of my identity and would exist only to curse another human being…

More than that…

The most regrettable part was that I would end up not being able to have a proper exchange of words with Hyuga.

At least once.

I wished I could have talked to Hyuga at least once.

I wished I could have listened to her bitter words with my ego still intact.

“Hah… That’s… an excuse, idiot…”

Right… It was a convenient excuse.

So many times in my life I have ran away from her, I have avoided facing her out of fear. Even though there were chances for that… Whatever I attempted now, it was too late. But… even if that was the case… I would not want it to end like this. Not like this. I must face the past and Hyuga. This was my last chance.

I wouldn’t run away anymore, I wouldn’t deny it. For too long I have been running away and turning a blind eye. Nobody would laugh at me for acting like this for the last time.

Here I was. Come, Hyuga.

Send me the coup de grace. I would embrace it all. Calling out to Hyuga in my heart, I shut my eyes and waited for her, listening to her footsteps resonating in the distance.

ㅤ

“Here is…”

With all my determination in place, I lifted my eyelids again, only to find that I was neither at the nurse station nor in a hospital room. Instead, I was in a familiar private room.

A pitch-black room, illuminated only by a TV monitor, a well-worn ashtray, a locker, only two round chairs, and a small desk.

It was the back room of the convenience store.

I raised my head loosely to look at the security camera monitor. On the screen was a pitch-black back room with me leaning against the wall―

Hyuga, standing motionless by the doorway, was reflected on the screen.

“So you have come…”

I called out to Hyuga, who was shedding blood on the floor and showing her bloodshot eyes through her bangs as if she had been waiting for me. My body was in tremors, of course, but I didn’t avert my gaze. Watch carefully, watch her, and don’t ever look away.

“Long time no see.”

In spite of the intense dread that was coursing through my body, the words flowing out of my mouth were frighteningly level-headed.

The sight of Hyuga staring at me was etched in my mind. Her lustrous hair was disheveled, her lips were peeled, her skin was pale, and several streaks of red ran from her forehead to her neck. Rainwater and blood soaked her sailor suit, and her fingernails were cracked, some without even a fingernail. Like it was natural, her legs on either side turned in an incongruous direction. Her skin and flesh slammed against hard concrete was…

…It was hopeless… I couldn’t say any further… It was too miserable to put into words.

Would death make anyone forget about the sense of pain? The sight of Hyuga looking down at me without even grunting in pain was so miserable that even just looking at her was painful.

From that day until now, have you been in that state?

Hey, Hyuga. . All this time, while I have cast you off into the corner of my memory and lived on with my life, you were alone, unable to rest in peace.

“Hyuga.”

Did you stay in this world?

“…It hurts, right… You’re suffering, right… I know…”

Not suffering in such an appearance would be a lie.

“Enough… enough, Hyuga… you don’t have to look like that.”

You who were so upbeat, so straightforward, at the center of everyone, always upright, righteous, and kind…

For years you have been in such an appearance―

You should be smiling and shouting foolishly, not looking like that… I deprived you of that smile that day and left you crying Hyuga.

I made you that way, didn’t I?

“I get it… I’m really… really the worst…! Had I listened to you properly back then, this wouldn’t have happened…”

The instant I said it, I couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in both of my eyes.

“I’m the worst…!”

Facing Hyuga once again, who did not have any trace of her former self, I was so stricken by the misery and regret for what I had done that I could do nothing but stammer and wail.

Even if I apologized, I didn’t expect her to forgive me. I wouldn’t ask for forgiveness.

Hey, Hyuga.

“Please say something… There must be a lot of things you want to say to me…”

Hyuga didn’t speak a word.

“When you’re satisfied, kill me, I don’t mind how gruesome you kill me… because you jumped off a rooftop… and I’ll suffer the same amount of anguish. It’s okay, don’t hesitate… I won’t run away this time, and I won’t be afraid of it.”

Hyuga did not utter anything.

“So no more.”

Tears streamed down my face, one after the other.

“Don’t look that way…”

Because I wouldn’t ask you to smile one more time.

“Just kill me and… rest in peace.”

With no words, Hyuga walked up to me with slow steps and stretched out her thin arm.

At my neck―

“Ugh…!”

Overly cold fingers entwined and my respiratory tract tightened. Nails sunk in with terrific pressure, followed by Hyuga’s laying all of her weight on me. The back of my head scraped against the wall, and I collapsed to the floor as I was forced to. Covered over me, Hyuga’s long, bloody hair fell over my face. My teeth chattered involuntarily.

“Hyu… ga.”

Hyuga straddled me and strangled me, blood-like cold black liquid spilled out of her mouth, flowing down into my half-open mouth. I coughed uncontrollably, which made it more agonizing as I was squeezed tighter and tighter.

It was the highest level of suffering that I have ever experienced in my life, something that was beyond comparison.

“Ugh―!!”

However long it took, my consciousness did not fade away, and the suffering only prolonged. The arms, which did not allow me any resistance, clawed at the floor and persevered.

Yeah… Killing me so easily was not allowed, right?

You were going to make me taste your suffering from now on, weren’t you? The resentment that has festered over the past few years.

“Hyu… ga… my… bad…”

Tears blurring my vision, and cold streaks have been running down my cheeks since a while ago.

“My bad… it was my fault…”

Again and again, my mouth kept spouting the same words. Even though we were so close, neither my words nor my feelings reached Hyuga’s heart.

It was exactly the same as that time. Hyuga, I wondered if you were feeling this way too. Not being able to reach the other person with your words was.. such a painful, tormenting thing, right?

Having grasped Hyuga’s wrath and sorrow with my own body, I felt like I had been given the punishment I deserved, and my mouth relaxed as sweat and tears trickled down my cheeks.

No problem. After all, I had put you through a lot of hardships, too.

“I… really… somehow… realized it…”

I made a smile while being strangled in tears.

“You… always… something… to me… said…”

I somehow understood that Hyuga, who followed me around, was always hesitating to say something. Even though she was smiling with an unconcerned look on her face, when she came up behind me, she would give off this restless vibe. I should have turned around and asked her, “What are you trying to say?”

“Your… story… more… properly… seriously… li… sten… that… be… better… sorry… I… really… in… my… heart… about… you…”

Even though I acknowledged that she was a good person and… thought that it would be fun to stay with her in the future.

I was embarrassed to say it out loud because I felt like it was not me…

All I did was say things that would drive you away…

“I’m sorry… I was so selfish…”

The more I said, the more pathetic I felt. Even at this time, I couldn’t even say anything that would satisfy Hyuga, and I only felt frustrated with my former self…

“This sort of thing… hurts… your feelings…”

In life and in death, I could not do a single thing for her. All I did was whine and cry, and it seemed I was going to end up being a self-serving person until the very end. At last, my consciousness began to fizzle out. Not even my voice seemed to be able to speak anymore.

Must be about time… huh.

…

……

………

Huh…

I stopped my thoughts. At the very moment when I was about to surrender everything to the agony, there was only a piece, a feeling of discomfort, if I may call it that. At the last second, I opened my eyes to look at Hyuga’s face, and that feeling of discomfort gradually and instantly spread.

It turned into a conviction.

For the first time, I realized something outrageous, new, and unbelievable.

Why… at this moment?

I felt a few fleeting moments of regret at the realization.

It was nothing more terrifying than to formulate it into a single phrase in my head.

ㅤ

ㅤ

This guy is not Hyuga―

ㅤ

ㅤ

I thought it was inconceivable.

This guy cornering me in front of me, surely should look like Hyuga…

No… she wasn’t. She was 99% Hyuga, but the other 1% wasn’t. My heart denied that the remaining 1% was not the same.

Wrong.

There was no doubt in my mind, my head was clear on that.

This guy who was covering me was a completely different being from Hyuga―

Had it been the real Hyuga, I would hardly have felt this way.

I would have slowly closed my eyes and accepted death.

Who?

Who… was this guy?

Who was this guy?

If it wasn’t Hyuga, then…

Tell me who she was―

I didn’t know this guy, not at all.

I tried to put it in my fingertips, but couldn’t exert the slightest bit of strength.

The lips before my eyes curved up in a suspicious arc.

Who… who…

Who was this guy? This guy, who, what was she?

From whom have I… been running away until now?

Whom have I feared, to whom have I apologized, to whom have I shed tears?

By whom have I been tormented―

The things that――I have done until now―

What was it for―