Stone Thrown into the Lake - Chapter 10

“Let’s renovate the annex and bring in some new furniture. I’ll call a craftsman, so you choose the furnishings yourself.”

Those words pierced Duran like thorns.

Why? Duran wasn’t sure why he couldn’t respond.

She said it easily because it wasn’t a big deal to her, and this caused his heart to drop.

“Dew, did I say something wrong?”

“Huh?”

“Dew, I’m sorry…”

Not knowing what she was sorry for, he ate an apple first.

‘What are you sorry about?’

Duran wasn’t sure why she was sorry, and eventually frowned.

He couldn’t understand why she became so restless from every expression he made.

‘Because she loves me? Then, isn’t love no different from a noose around the neck.’

Yvor briefly lowered her gaze, which had not fallen from him throughout their visit. Water formed on her eyes looked like a drop of dew rolling over a grape. Duran felt that she was about to cry, which made him impatient.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

Even when he suddenly spoke out, the frustration did not go away. It seemed that the noose that hung around her neck seemed to have passed on to him.

“On the contrary, I should be!”

It was only after shouting that Duran realized why he felt Yvor’s words were like thorns. Rather, he felt miserable.

He had nothing to give back to her.

It was only natural that the boy didn’t know the path Yvor once walked.

Who could’ve guessed that the person in front of him had lived and died once?

Therefore, Duran Craig didn’t know how Yvor had lived and died. He also didn’t know how lonely and distressed she was during that time.

The boy, who was now paying keen attention to every word his sister said, could never have imagined that he once hated this gentle sister as a vicious witch. He couldn’t even know how she felt because at that time he didn’t know. All Duran Craig knew now was the fact that he was receiving kindness from her all the time.

He was staying in her castle. He owed her for everything he ate, drank, wore, and even where he slept.

For Yvor, only Duran counted as her family. For Duran, family was just a ridiculous word.

It was normal to be indebted to family, and it wasn’t an existence to be taken for granted either. Moreover, she said she loved him. She loved him with devotion, where she would even risk her life for him.

Not long ago, Duran Craig was dying of thirst. He lived like that from day to day without even knowing that he was slowly dying of dehydration. He was no different from a weed in a wasteland.

However, one person came. She watered the weed, fed it fertilizer, and transferred it to a pot. She cherished it as if she was caring for the world’s most precious plant. She didn’t even know if the weed would blossom. With the sweetest of waters and the most affectionate of touches that prevented pests. As he received more and more of this, he couldn’t help but think.

‘Do I deserve this?’

The words ‘I love you’ were the sweetest of poisons. He felt Yvor’s love in the way she looked at him, rather than from how she constantly fed him. ‘Dew’, the whispering voice could be heard even in his dreams. Duran had already swallowed the poison, which was more delicious than any other delicacy in the world.

Did he love her, it was something he didn’t know yet. Could he trust her at all, that was also still unknown.

He couldn’t help, but doubt it and feel anxious. As it became sweeter and finer, he was afraid that it would all disappear like a dream one day.

He also didn’t want to receive things that he had no way to pay back. He was feeling a combination of fear and pride.

“It’s uncomfortable.”

He didn’t want to receive any more. When he said it so suddenly, Yvor looked like she was going to fade away. Duran closed his mouth while thinking about what to add.

He was a boy who’d never shared his heart with others. He didn’t know how to talk to people, or even how to respond. He couldn’t figure out how to express his thoughts, and had trouble even being honest.

Yvor reached out to him. Duran was suffering from heavy-heart, because he worried she was about to cry. As soon as he met her, she hugged him and wept, this was Duran’s first impression of his sister. So, the boy thought Yvor was a weeper.

He thought she would be a soft, weak, and teary person like a princess in a fairy tale.

In fairy tales, the princess easily loved and cared for the dwarf and small animals.

But in the end… The prince arrived, the two left hand in hand, and the dwarf remained alone.

“I won’t call the craftsman.”

‘I’m sorry, sister.’

Yvor hugged her brother. Duran thought she might cry, and accepted the strange way she expressed her affection this time without avoiding it.

“I love you, Dew.”

She whispered, as she kissed the top of his head.

◇ ◆ ◇

Yvor Adela was never a soft and tearful princess throughout her life, whether it was now or in the past. She was just a 15-year-old child who didn’t know how to talk to others.

Child?

She was not sure if she really lived as a child.

‘Why was it uncomfortable? Why did he say he didn’t want any more?’

The foolish sister agonized all night long. She couldn’t resist Duran’s will. On the other hand, Yvor really had a lot to give Duran.

She hoped to give him good food, quality clothes, and comfortable living quarters. She wanted everything that he could touch to be the best she could give. It was only natural for her to want to do so. She wanted to make up for everything she couldn’t give him before.

While Duran thought about whether it was reasonable to receive so much, there was nothing that Yvor wouldn’t give.

She had to give more.

Something better, something more.

However, she suddenly became preoccupied with a memory. In the past, she felt the same way, so she became the king’s mistress. Yvor Adela wanted to give the best she could give to Duran Craig.

This country, status, honor and wealth.

She decided to give these things to Duran without knowing whether he wanted it, or not. She didn’t know until the day before she died. What good did it do to decide what he wanted, then push on to him what he didn’t need?

She also knew that even love could become nothing more than a burden if he didn’t want it.

Her world seemed to collapse. For Yvor, her love for her brother was no different from the truth that existed since the world was created. Yvor knew she was alive because of Duran, loving him gave her a reason to live. Even after returning to the past, she only knew that he didn’t love her, but that didn’t change how she felt.

Her love was wrong before, so she had to find a different way to love him. She didn’t know that he was having a hard time, so she should make it up to him. She’ll express her love properly this time, so that he knows she loves him.

But what the heck does he desire?

Yvor got up from her seat and ran to him. Does he really need her love? Wouldn’t it just make him uncomfortable? She didn’t know when to try to offer her love or when to give him something good.

When he pushed her away, she thought he should know that she loved him, even if she had to beg. She had never thought that love itself could be a burden.

The hungry desire bread, and the poor desire gold coins, but what about love? Does her Dew think that anyone who loved him was good because he’s lonely, hungry, and poor?

She rushed to the annex. She knocked on Dew’s door regardless of the pajamas she was wearing. She wasn’t sure if she could breathe until he opened the door and appeared. Duran saw her, and furrowed his brow in confusion.

“What’s going on…” She grabbed him before he could conclude what he was asking.

“Dew, do you hate me loving you?”

Yvor started with such a question, which caused Duran to knit his brow further. She was nervous to the point where her heart was pounding. It was like a candle floating in the river at night. Even the gentlest of breezes would cause the flame to shake, and once it went out, it could never be lit again. Just like a candle that sank to the bottom of the river.

“No.”

Duran replied in embarrassment. He was really unfamiliar with that word ‘love’. Every time he heard that word, it tickled his heart and made his head dizzy. He was ashamed and embarrassed, so he didn’t want to talk about it.

But… Did he not like it? He didn’t hate it. Rather… He was too shy to put his feelings into his words.

“Are you uncomfortable?”

Yvor asked again. Was it uncomfortable? To some extent, it was. It was uncomfortable because there was no way to pay her back, and he was afraid that she would disappear someday. He also felt uncomfortable because he worried he couldn’t live without it.

“….”

When Duran was silent, Yvor asked again.

‘His sister’s love…’ Then he exhaled, and the thought continued like inhalation.

‘Did he need it?’

Duran didn’t understand the meaning of this question, or how to answer. He only worried that how he answered this question could end everything.

It shouldn’t have been necessary, but he needed it. He didn’t care about having good food or a comfortable place to live. Even if he went back to the capital and shut himself up in his original room, there would be only one reason to hate that world.

For the first time in his life he received words of love, worried looks, and the warmth of a loving touch. If all of that disappeared, what would he do?

“No.”

‘I don’t want to lose it, I need it. I want you to love me.’

He couldn’t say it, so Duran replied with the same words.

No… Yvor looked all over Duran’s face. She looked like she was checking to see if a lie was written somewhere on his face. She scanned from top of the colored blonde, down to his blueish purple eyes that looked only at her.

Finally, Yvor laughed instead of crying.