Straight From The Heart - Chapter 6 Peacemaking Responses
Peacemakers are people who breathe grace, inspired by the gospel, they draw continually on the goodness and power of Jesus Christ, and then breathe out his love, mercy, forgiveness and wisdom to dissipate anger, improve understanding, promote justice and model repentance and reconciliation.
I. Personal Peacemaking
There are three biblical ways to resolve conflicts personally and privately, just between you and the other party.
OVERLOOK AN OFFENSE –
Many disputes are so insignificant that they should be resolved by quietly overlooking an offense. “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” (Prov. 19:11) Overlooking an offense is a form of forgiveness and involves a deliberate decision not to talk about it, dwell on it, or let it grow into pent – up bitterness or anger.
RECONCILIATION –
If an offense is too serious to overlook or has damaged our relationship, we need to resolve personal or relational issues through confession, loving correction, and forgiveness “[If] your brother has something against you… go and be reconciled.” (Matt. 5:23-24). “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.” (Gal. 6:1; see Matt. 18:15). “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Col. 3:13).
NEGOTIATION –
Even if we successfully resolve relational issues, we may still need to work through material issues related to money, property, or other rights. This should be done through a cooperative bargaining process in which you and the other person week to reach a settlement that satisfies the legitimate needs of each side. “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Phil. 2:4).
II. Assisted Peacemaking
When a dispute cannot be resolved personally, God calls us to seek assistance from other believers.
MEDIATION –
If two people cannot reach an agreement in private, they should ask one or more objective outside people to meet with them to help them communicate more effectively and explore possible solutions, “if he will not listen (to you), take one or two others along” (Matt. 18:16). The mediators may ask question and give advice, but the parties retain the responsibilities of making the final decision on how to resolve their differences.
ARBITRATION –
When you and an opponent cannot come to a voluntary agreement on a material issue, you may appoint one or more arbitrators to listen to your arguments and render a binding decision to settle the issue, “If you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even an men of little account in the church.” (1 Cor. 6:4).
ACCOUNTABILITY –
If a person who professes to be a Christian wanders from the Lord by refusing to be reconciled and do what s right, Jesus commands church leaders to lovingly intervene to hold him or her accountable to Scripture and to promote repentance, justice and forgiveness. “If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not — go off? … If he refuses to listen…, tell t to the church.” (Matt. 18:12,17).
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