Struggle Of Love - Chapter 16 Spill The Beans

“You what?” I asked in a low voice; no, he should not.

“I let her know. . . ”

“No! How could you?”

“Yeah, he’s dealing it. What you did could ruin it.”

Ton and I said as soon as James’s words sunk in.

“Calm down, kids! Or they’ll rush in here thinking we’re fighting!”

“Seriously, did you tell her?”

“I did, Sai. But not very directly. But I believe she could decipher the meaning.” I was shocked. He couldn’t have done that. What now? Since when was she aware of what so ever? Is this how very matured our James was?

“Sai . . . Please. It will be fine.” Sure it will. I breathed in deeply and trapped all the air inside. After sometime, after I calmed down and my worry wore off a bit, I breathed out making a loud sigh. I was this hopeless to begin with, anyway.

“When?” I asked directly trying not to sound rude.

“It’s been four months approximately. Believe me, when I told her, she looked like she understood but she was not shocked at all. It was not like I told her something new at all. Like she had always known of your feelings for her.”

I didn’t feel like saying anything. I just stood up and headed to the bathroom that was attached to the room we are in.

“Sai . . .”

I locked myself in the bathroom and washed my face. Somehow, everything felt out of place now. James knew I was trying hard and being careful with the subject. He should have asked me first before saying something that big. He was always trying to help me. He even convinced Jessy and I don’t know if that has affected their relationship. I confided in him because I knew he would help me but, not like this.

Hell, this was not help at all. I had already confessed to her while I was in the last year at school. The outcome was what I call a cruel deed of fate. She could not believe me and told me that if I was still trying to apologize for slapping her that evening, it was not required. Then, she said she was grateful for having me as her best friend. I tried convincing her and that was when she concluded that either I was joking or that she would be killing some non-existent person that gave me this as a dare. Then she laughed it off saying I was funnier than ever. It was painful.

I heard knocking on the bathroom door twice before Ton called out, “Come on out already.”

I washed my face another time before going out.

“Sorry,” James apologized while looking into the wall. Of course he wasn’t truly feeling sorry. After all, his intentions cannot be negative, but still, I felt betrayed. He did it to help me. But it was not in his place to tell her. In fact, I knew very clearly that I was confiding a deep secret in him.

“Why when you don’t think what you did is wrong?” If I was rude to Jessy earlier today, now I was being double times as rude.

“Just let this go.” What?

“Let it go? Thank you!” I said. I couldn’t stop myself from being this rude. But now I feel what he did was beyond betrayal.

“Shut up, now.” Ton, who was silent since I stepped out of the bathroom, said getting up from the couch near where I stood. “It’s you who are so incapable of handling things and taking that frustration out on everyone that comes your way.”

How did I ever think of these two as friends? This is the reason I don’t talk much. If I kept quiet and only spoke limited, without just answering and letting them hear what they wanted to know, I would not be standing numb like I am right now as I realise that people can easily flip sides. Then, I realised something else, it’s not too late to stop considering them important anymore.