Struggle Of Love - Chapter 23 No More A Joke

“May, I need to talk to you,” I say keeping in the courage seeping through my veins, a result of myself pep talk. I took a quick glance at Jessy. She did not seem to mind somehow. Then, I took a look at James who was already looking at me. He winked left eye, right eye, then both the eyes together. He was thinking I was going to finally confess. Nah bro, I am going to investigating on you first, I thought to myself.

“Alright,” she said. The three of us walked out after saying our byes to the rest, except May. She was to return to drink.

As we descended the floors, I asked Ton to wait in his car. May and I proceeded towards the same inbuilt park from earlier.

“So?” She started.

It’s time, I told myself as an encouragement. I looked at her. Her eyes held a happy glimmer. Her face had a slight hint of mockery, at me perhaps. I slowly chose my words.

“How is James? I know there’s something you are keeping from the rest of us.” I stated holding my heart in place. Does this take us even farther apart, I ask myself. I gulped as I took a very slow but deep breath so that she could not hear me or my nervousness.

“I cannot tell you anything. That doesn’t mean you try other ways or ask James in the end.”

“Why?”

“You better get your butt out of this. Do not discuss anything in this regard with anyone. It is already bad enough that you got the doubt, smarty.” I pursed my lips and looked into her eyes. They were so amused a while ago, now they are cold and filled with dissatisfaction.

“If that’s it, Ton’s waiting,” she reminded. Is this it? No. The important part is yet to come. Here we go, Sai.

“I learned that-” I paused to look into her eyes. There was that amusement again. I breathed in and out as she waited patiently.

“That you . . . you know, that you are aware of-” It was difficult. Damn difficult to talk about this after everything. I had to be more confident. Last time I confessed, she took it as a joke. I am to be blamed. Who would believe you when you profuse your love to the girl you slapped because she admitted her attraction towards you? Even I would not.

“Good night, Sai. Don’t think too much about everything. Life has its own way to make things right.”

I was taking too much time I think, for she decided to walk out on me. “Wait,” I called out as she turned around and took two steps.

“My drink’s waiting. My spare ice cream must be melting. They’re a good combination together and I’m here, waiting.” She told me with a small smile as she stood five or six feet away now.

“I know you know about my feelings. I do love you, no joke.” I said louder than intended maybe because of the anxiety that’s building within. Mixing the ice-cream with alcohol should become a part of my determination to make this girl accept me.

“I know. Good night.” She said as the smile was kept in place on her pretty face and then, she turned around marking this conversation complete and walked back in. I didn’t stop her. I did not ask her more. I didn’t do anything. I did nothing as I stood where I was. My breath was knocked out of my lungs and I felt constricted of the truth I just learned. She knows. It should come as a surprise because I already had an idea. But somehow, the straights words that I caught in her voice surprised me.

I was made to move by the call I received on my phone. It was Ton. He should have been irritated waiting for me. I soon cut the call and made my way to the parking lot where he had parked it in the evening.

He did not ask me how it had gone with May. Fern was on his mind, I knew and he was unusually calm. He did not know Jessy or I had heard the girl’s confession. I decided not to bother him about her at the moment. For a certain reason, I was content. From now on, it was no more a joke for her. She was serious enough for me to feel accomplished and I took in some deep breaths with that sense for the little success.