Struggle Of Love - Chapter 55 Lush Green Fresh Grass

As we walked through the wards of the hospital, I glanced at her. She sure has started the silent treatment. It is all that doctor’s fault.

“Jessie?”

“What?” She asked back as soon as I spoke without batting an eyelid. I wanted to tell her that what all she heard was nothing.

“… Nothing.”

Lather we were back home and dinner went fine. The only thing that scared me was my mother and her questions about the trip to hospital. However, when she asked if something was wrong, Jessie told her that we have just gone to check her pregnancy. Jessie spoke to her and answered everything as though there was nothing wrong at all. Then, mom was relieved.

The next morning was a Sunday. Jessie did not actually decide on being upset with me. And now, because she wanted to go to the park early in the morning, we are sitting on a cement bench on the cool dry air of the season.

She could not really walk much given that her stomach was getting bigger and bigger. Then, as she leaned on my shoulder, she slowly started speaking.

“We don’t really have much time together then, do we?” She asked as she stared into the lush green fresh grass before us. The grass was so full of life with small droplets of the early morning dew, still remnant on some of it. I was too sad to answer. After all this time, she finally believes what is the fact right in front of her eyes. I rubbed her shoulder with my hand that was draped around her head.

“You know what? Ever since that night when you told me, I started having this dream with that girl daily…” She started and it was like the death bells were ringing in my ears way too loudly to hear her. I knew who that girl was.

I knew of this. Jessie ever shared her dreams with me only one time and that was many years ago. It was when she lost her parents and her little sister. That time, she had changed so suddenly, so terrifyingly. One week, I knew her as a bright and mischievous girl and the next week, there was no trace of what I knew. That was a time when I was the most apprehensive as a small boy.

She had changed almost completely. Her mischief never came back since then. Sometimes, I wonder if it was just my own imagination that she ever had been the one to enjoy playing prank on people. I was not sure because most of these memories were from years ago and they are not very clear, but it was the feeling of dread towards how Jessie had changed into a completely new person that had been deeply engraved in a very fearful corner of my heart.

During that period, for more than a year, she was often absent minded as she tried hard and pulled herself together. Though I wanted to help her in some way or the other, there was no possible way that I could comprehend back then.

Once when she had started crying again, I asked her so much if there was anything she wanted me to do. There was nothing. She only sat hugging herself at our home and continued to hiccup so much. I remembered how I also started to have tears in my eyes. When she saw me sad, she managed to control herself. That was when, she first told me about the dream and the girl and also, how that girl was the person she hated the most.

For months she had had the same dream. She told me that in her dream, there was a little girl and that she looked like herself. That girl would always remind her all of the bitter things that had transpired back in the day.

I did not know what it was then. Even now as a doctor, though I don’t specialize in the field, I had not the slightest clue of it. It could be psychological; I had thought when I was studying. Not knowing what to do, all I did was listening to her. She would say that the girl was very stubborn and would keep insisting certain things. And there were also the times when she told me that the girl had finally disappeared. I did not tell out parents about this because she asked not to.

Now that she mentions he again, I can’t help but remember how much she had suffered. If that was to repeat…

I have no words to complete the thought.