Substitute - Chapter 112

When Lexi was collecting script data, she had read some Buddhist classics, and vaguely remembered the concept: people have three poisons, which are “greed, hatred, and delusion.”

The so-called greed refers to the greed for the state of obedience, and it must be obtained, otherwise the heart is unwilling.

Just before that, under Chi Chuji’s connivance, and in the company of more than ten years, she had delusions about Chi Chuji, hoped for her own existence, and longed for the other party to love her.

The so-called anger refers to the hatred of the state of adversity, tantrums, irrationality, and impulsiveness when one is not satisfied.

At this time, she failed to get Chi Chuji’s love as she wished, and could not even leave their children. Therefore, after witnessing the common sense of happiness of her friends, she felt resentment towards Chi Chuji.

What Chi Chuji said was right, she would hate her.

As for the idiot…

Infatuation refers to not knowing the truth, not knowing right from wrong, not distinguishing between good and evil? Inverted and presumptuous, and initiating all evil deeds.

She cared too much about Chi Chuji’s thoughts and couldn’t see her own score clearly, and she was out of balance in the process of requesting.

Cannot love, and then go crazy.

And Chi Chuji is her poison.

How can she be liberated, and how can she be liberated?

Le Xi knelt on the ground, raised her hand to cover her heart, looked down at the broken mobile phone, her eyes pattered down.

Chi Chuji is right…she is right…

When the envy surged, and when he felt jealous towards her lover, Le Xi suddenly understood that her three unwholesome roots had already appeared, and sooner or later more serious problems would arise.

When a person becomes “idiot”, what kind of means will she use to deal with Chi Chuji?

Just like when I was young, I destroyed all Chi Chuji’s inhibitors, and then forcibly marked her and imprisoned her? Didn’t he let him go until Chi Chuji bowed his head and said that he loved her?

With this thought, Le Xi was cold all over. She seemed to see her inner self, she had become another appearance, hideous, like crazy like a devil…

She obviously loves Chi Chuji so much, but will she hurt her in the end? Is this still love?

Blindly asking for nothing, sooner or later will ruin her and Chi Chuji.

What about her? what to do? How did she subdue the three trolls in her heart?

Lexi knelt on the ground, clutching her heart tightly, tears streaming down her face. She breathed quickly, trying to relieve the suffocation caused by the pain.

In such intense pain, Le Xi felt very clearly what kind of person he was.

She is just a vulgar person without a root of wisdom.

Can’t get rid of… Can’t get rid of…

What should she do? What should she do?

Le Xi suddenly thought of what Chi Chuji said on the bed that day: “You? You are… not my inhibitor anymore.”

She is no longer Chi Chuji’s inhibitor? Then what is she? An alternative to Le Yang? No, if it’s not an inhibitor, then… that’s her.

This also means that in Chi Chuji’s eyes, she is a real person, right?

In other words, she was in Chi Chuji’s eyes.

After Lexi gradually clarified the meaning behind Chi Chuji’s words, her breathing gradually calmed down.

She gasped quickly, and after gulp of oxygen, she quickly searched in her mind for the method of liberation she wanted.

Buddhism Day: Diligent practice of precepts, concentration and wisdom, quenches greed, anger, and delusion.

And among these three, first is to uphold the precepts to eliminate greed, then the anger can be extinguished, and finally wisdom will appear, and foolishness will be eliminated.

The so-called holding precepts to eliminate greed is to reduce one’s expectations of Chi Chuji and reduce the demand for her. But can she do it?

Chi Chuji is her poison. As long as he keeps touching her, he will always be infested by her before he obtains the “protective barrier”.

When it is poisoned into the bone marrow, it will definitely torture each other in love.

What does she ask for? What can Chi Chuji give her? What does Chi Chuji give her, need? What price does she use to repay it?

Need? Her dignity?

No, Chi Chuji doesn’t even want her love? It’s just a pure physical/body exchange.

What about her? Where should she go?

Le Xi suddenly discovered that she was experiencing the same thing as a teenager, and she was stuffed into an eggshell again.

It turns out that there is not only one eggshell in life. At every stage of growth, it will be locked by a certain shell in a fixed environment.

As if now, she was stuffed into the eggshell of love named “Suoqiu Chi Chuji”.

There is only one way to break the eggshell: give up Chi Chuji’s love and leave her.

When this thought came to Le Xi’s mind, Le Xi was taken aback.

As the sobbing gradually eased, Le Xi raised her hand to dry her tears, and stood up in a daze with her mobile phone: Does she really want it? As Chi Chuji said, did she officially leave her?

Lexi thought about this question for a long time for several days, but did not get an answer.

Because it had been agreed with Chi Chuji before, Lexi would move out of the apartment after Chi Chuji recovered. So on the night Chi Chuji was discharged from the hospital, after Le Xi took a shower, she started packing herself.

Sitting on the bed, Chi Chuji casually flipped through the e-book, ignoring Lexi by the bed.

Le Xi folded her clothes, raised her eyes frequently to look at Chi Chuji, and stopped talking.

In fact, Chi Chuji had already noticed her appearance. It’s just that Le Xi didn’t take the initiative to speak, so she didn’t take the initiative to respond to each other.

When Lexi basically finished packing her things, she pushed the suitcase and walked out the door, turned back to the room, sat on the bed and looked at Chi Chuji and said, “I have asked the assistant to help me find a new place to live. , I will move in tomorrow.”

“I only brought the most expensive documents with me? Several sets of clothes for washing, can I move the others later?”

Chi Chuji nodded and said two words concisely: “Yes.”

Le Xi looked at her cold expression, her face turned pale. Her lips trembled, and it took a long time before she mustered up the courage to say, “You? Nothing? What did you say to me?”

Chi Chuji said lightly: “I have said everything that should be said, I have nothing to say.”

Lexi has lived with her for more than ten years, and she knows what a firm person Chi Chuji is. She may have no room for change.

But…but…

Le Xi clenched her fist, and finally asked: “Then can I still sleep here tonight?”

Chi Chuji hesitated for a while, then looked at the e-book in his hand and said: “Turn off the lights, I have to sleep.”

“Okay.” Le Xi responded, reaching out and turning off the light, and went to bed in the dark.

The two were lying on a bed, Le Xi sniffed the cold fragrance of the woman beside her, her thoughts surged.

Le Xi raised her head and looked at the dim ceiling in front of her. It took a long time before she said: “Chi Chuji, I hate you so much?…”

Chi Chuji leaned on his arm and closed his eyes. He listened to the little alpha behind him and continued to say to himself: “When I was young, I was indifferent to me and never went home. I might be the same as staying in an orphanage… …”

“Of course I was an orphan.”

Lexi frowned and swallowed the tears that were gradually filling her eyes. After a while, she said, “When you grow up, you are also very cold. Obviously, you have worked very hard to learn to cook to please you, but you? Never praise me…”

Chi Chuji listened to Lexi’s complaint, and replied in his heart: In fact, she has praised it several times, but she is not a person who is not grateful.

Lexi sniffed, and then said for a long time: “Also? Just… the time when the pheromone was disordered, I obviously respected you so much? But you chose An Yi at that time, but you didn’t choose me…”

Chi Chuji silently retorted: She didn’t have **** with An Yi at all.

Le Xi became more and more angry. She gritted her teeth and said, “Obviously, when I was just an adult, you? Just went to bed with me. It was not like a qualified adult at all! You? Haven’t been angry at all, and just accepted me like that. Conditions, I have been used as an inhibitor until now!”

Chi Chuji sighed inwardly and thought a little emotionally: You? Didn’t you also regard me as a “mother” and loved me for a long time?

The two of them were not good people at first, half a catty, so no one wanted to talk about it.

Lexi couldn’t get an answer, she clenched her fist silently, and said bitterly: “I’m still cold and indifferent. I have said that I love you hundreds of times, but you? But you never said a word like me.”

Chi Chuji frowned slightly, a little unhappy: what she had said, she had said on the bed.

But speaking of it, Lexi’s “I love you” is mostly for Le Yang, so just listen to this kind of kid’s words.

Chi Chuji thought this way, and listened intently to Lexi behind him like a kid, thinking about her not good or bad.

What kind of cold violence, what begins chaos and ends up, etc…

At the end, Le Xi’s voice was a little dumb. When Chi Chuji felt that she should have finished complaining, she suddenly heard a sentence: “Chi Chuji, I love you.”

Chi Chuji was stunned for a moment, and heard the sound of sobbing from the pillow.

Le Xi raised her arm, covered her eyes, and said dullly: “Thank you? Take me home, thank you? You have been with me for so many years…”

“From a very young age, I vowed to be your best child. But this time, I am not following your wishes, not listening to you…”

“I will leave you, I will pursue what I should understand.”

The tears from the corners of her eyes, Lexi’s voice gradually choked up, and said intermittently: “I may be insignificant in your eyes, but I am not a substitute, but a sentimental and warm person. .”

“Even if I look up to you like a pilgrim who bows down to the snow-capped mountains, I still have my own heart, my soul. It may be humble, but not humble. My soul is the same as you? weight……”

“Even if she may be a little thin due to the different years we have experienced. But I firmly believe that when one day, you and I will pass through the grave and come to God, my soul and yours will be the same. .”

“We are equal. If I were the same age as you, this equality would come even faster.”

Le Xi took a deep breath and said the last sentence: “So now, I leave you with my own will?.”

“I want to leave you? Chi Chuji, I will never come back again.”

Chi Chuji listened to her trembling voice, and was silent for a long time before speaking, “Well, I understand.”

Le Xi tilted her head, glanced at Chi Chuji, whose back was facing her, raised her hand to wipe her tears, looked up at the ceiling, and slowly fell asleep with sobbing in the pain of the sinking of her heart.

The short night passed quickly. Lexi got up from the bed, and after washing in the bathroom, she applied a hot towel to her red and swollen eyes.

After the pain eased, she changed her clothes, went to Chi Chuji’s bed, and said softly: “Goodbye, Chi Chuji.”

Lexi said so, and reached out her hand to take off the necklace that had been hanging around her neck, and placed it on the cupboard by the bed.

The sound of the broken necklace fell, and then the young woman’s footsteps departed. After a while, the suitcase was rolling forward gruntingly, gradually away…

With a creak, the door closed and the room was silent again.

Chi Chuji lay on the bed and remained silent for a long time. After realizing that Le Xi had completely left, she got up from the bed forcibly, and her eyes fell on the silver chain on the bedside cabinet.

Chi Chuji was silent for a while before reaching out and taking the silver necklace.

She lowered her eyes, looking at the whale lying in the middle of a silver chain, her eyes quiet.

Like a whale into the sea, like a bird into the forest…

Before, when she saw a sentence, all she thought of was Le Yang.

But now…

Chi Chuji held the necklace in his hand, gently constricted his eyes, and converged all his emotions into his eyes.

If she can, she hopes Lexi really doesn’t want to do this this time? Come back again.

To be too obsessed with something will surely become a “binding” to oneself. On this point, Chi Chuji had already understood when he was young.

The author has something to say: it’s interesting to see the comment section…

A lot of Buddhism used here is from Baidu Baike, but they are all used.

Then the sentence is like a whale entering the sea, like a bird throwing into the forest, you can check the meaning.

Chi Chuji’s changes are still very obvious.

Lexi has always been a spiraling growth line for me.

She is only 24 years old this year, and it would be nice for most people to know her at the age of 24.

She has to get rid of layers of shackles, karma, etc…

I still remember her longing for Chi Chuji at the beginning, the pilgrims who climbed the snow-capped mountains, and still…

I am quite emotional. In just one month, I wrote about Lexi’s little life…

In this chapter, when Ms. Chu Ji said “You are no longer… not my inhibitor”, she got out of control and cried loudly.

Because she admitted Lexi’s existence, it’s really hard to come by…

As for the ending, I never listen to someone arrange to write an ending. Because of the ending, the character herself has already written it.

Whee……

Of course I think I may not finish writing this month, hey.

In fact, at the beginning, some readers and friends knew that this article was not like this, it was a story of running blood with the ball.

Lexi is not the same character as she is now, she will maintain her initial character and evolve towards perfection, and become a perfect tool for the next year.

She and Chi Chuji would perfectly fit a typical XX literature, and then let everyone see the ending happily.

But when I wrote more than 100,000 characters, I saw many possibilities from Le Xi. After writing novels for so long, I have actually understood what everyone loves most and what annoys me. It stands to reason that I should choose a pleasing direction to write, but since she said that her life is possible and that she wants to grow up, then I will I can only listen to her…

All in all, Miss Chu Ji is so perfect!