Summoned To A Shattered World - Chapter 32 Doub

After two tense, listless days, Elmidath called for me in her room that night. Not quite sure what to expect, I paused beside her door to comport myself. I tried to think of why she might want to see, but nothing in particular came to mind. Whatever it was, it was probably something bad or she’d have saved it for the morning. Then again, it was hard to say; I didn’t exactly have a lot of experience with her giving me good news.

Once my clothes were adjusted to my satisfaction, I brushed myself off and knocked. Elmidath pulled the door open almost immediately and ushered me inside. Despite not having done anything to displease her, recently at least, she was glaring at me. “What is it? Did I do something?”

She sat down on her bed and gestured for me to take the chair. “It’s not about what you did, it’s about what you might or might not do.” I had no idea what she was talking about but I lowered myself into the seat and waited for her to go on. “Are you really still committed to this whole thing?”

“Of course.” In actuality, I wasn’t really sure but I was sure it was what she wanted to hear. And more importantly, it was what I wanted to believe. “Why do you ask?”

She looked away. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I’ve been having doubts myself lately.”

“Doubts? Like what?”

Her long nightdress rustled as she clutched her knees to her chest. “Like maybe I don’t know what I’m doing. That maybe I’m just going to make things even worse than they already are that maybe I’m scared.”

My mind went blank. How are you supposed to deal with a situation like this? I looked into her tearful, expectant eyes and found myself unable to offer her any consolation. She might very well be right, what was the point of offering her empty platitudes when there was so much at stake? “If if you’re having such serious doubts then maybe we are going about this the wrong way. You know a lot more about all this than I do, so you’d have a much better idea. You seemed pretty confident before, what changed?”

Elmidath closed her eyes, pressing her forehead against the top of her knees. “Nothing, really. The last few days have just given me a chance to think. And the more I think about all this, the more it feels like it was all a terrible idea.”

My first impulse was to refute her claim but even if I could convince her with my baseless assumptions it wouldn’t help either of us. “Even if it is, what else are we supposed to do? We can’t just walk away at this point. Unless you’re okay with leaving the people under your protection to fend for themselves. And if you were, where else would you go?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know anything. How am I supposed to figure out what to do?” She scratched at her scalp like a frightened animal trying to dig its way to freedom. “I can’t believe I said I was going to change the world I should have listened to my uncle; I really am just a fucking child.”

Honestly, I largely agreed with her. It probably was an impossible dream. But there was no way I could tell her that. We were in much too deep for that. “Don’t say that. You’ve brought us this far, haven’t you?”

“To the brink of ruin, you mean? There’s almost no one left to protect our territory and we’re even running out of food.”

I don’t know what exactly had gotten into her, but she was clearly in some sort of negative spiral and didn’t seem receptive to anything I had to say. Though that second part was nothing new. Well, if I couldn’t convince her with the truth, or some version of it, then I’d just have to use what seemed to be a favourite tactic of hers; lying outright. “Things are grim now, but they’ll get better. I promise.” Like anything was ever not grim in this world. “It might not seem like it right now, but we really have made a difference for the better.”

Her posture didn’t change, her head still hidden behind her raised knees, but she didn’t refute my words. It was hard to say how much was really getting through to her, but it was time for a final push. A dose of carefully shaped reality to bring her around. “There’ve been losses, significant ones at that. But that’s inevitable when you try to effect real change.”

Oh god, ‘effect change’? I was starting to sound like a politician. Should I tell her about how our fiscal reforms will ensure a bright future? “And even if you don’t believe we can change the world, I do. Sure, we might fail. But at least we’ll fail trying to do something that matters.”

I walked over and knelt down until we were at eyelevel. “At this point, I don’t think it really matters what either of us want. If we continue half-heartedly or give up then we’re guaranteed to fail. The only way we have any chance at all is to push forward with everything we have.”

I finished with a smile, that I hoped conveyed undying faith in her and our cause. It was quite a nice speech, if I do say so myself. I’d even managed to half-convince myself, so it must be good.

It stung a little when Elmidath burst out laughing. She still had tears in her eyes but she finally looked up. “You really are full of shit. Do you believe any of what you said?” She continued before I had a chance to formulate a reply. “But thanks.” Her mirth faded, but she didn’t look quite so down anymore. “I think you’re right, at least about us being in too deep. I guess we both just have to suck it up and try to make things work.” She stood up and extended her hand. “Have we got a deal?”

Feeling a little sheepish at the transparency of my deception, I took her hand we shook on it. “Deal.”

Biustarn’s troops arrived late the next day, sooner than I’d expected. The score or so soldiers approached the estate, stopping a short distance away. Stepping forward, the leader announced them at the top of his lungs. “We are the retainers of Lord Biustarn, here at his request.”

Having said his piece, he moved back and waited for our reply. Elmidath told me to come along via the telepathic link and we made our way out to meet the new arrivals. Their leader was a tall man with sharp features, yellow skin that put me in mind of jaundice, and three small horns in a rough triangle.

Despite, or perhaps because of, our new alliance with his lord he didn’t look too happy to be here. He wasn’t quite glaring as he looked around, but there was a definite narrowing of the eyes along with a severe expression.

“Thank you for coming, I am Lady Sarinknell.” She gestured toward me. “And this is my retainer, Cathal.” I bobbed my head in greeting. “We welcome you to our estate and I hope that your stay will be a pleasant one.” I thought she was laying it on a little thick, but I suppose it paid to be nice to your allies. Especially when they accounted for pretty much all your manpower.

Scarcely acknowledging her greeting, the leader looked past us at the estate. “This is where we’ll be staying?”

“That’s right.”

Signalling for his men to follow, he strode toward the manor. My heckles rose at his attitude. Who was he to disrespect us like this? He was here to help, but Elmidath was still a Demon Lord and she deserved better than this. I stepped into his path before he could pass. “And who might you be?”

Nostrils twitching in distaste, the yellow-skinned demon halted. “Lieutenant Vorisen. Why, you need something?”

From the way he spoke and stood, he was clearly provoking me though I don’t know why. Perhaps he was just frustrated after the long march? Regardless, there was no sense starting a confrontation over something so trivial. Him giving his name was enough of a concession for me. Feeling a little lame for having to back down, I stepped aside. He passed by without a backward glance and went into the manor, the rest of his troops following close behind.

I watched as the last of them filed inside. “That could have gone better. He seemed pretty rude for someone that’s meant to be on our side.”

Elmidath shrugged. “It’s fine, we don’t need him for his manners.”

“You don’t think he’s going to betray us, do you?”

“I can’t see what the point would be. There’s not much for Biustarn to gain by taking over my lands, I’m sure he can see working together is to both of our benefits. Besides, it’d be a lot harder to explain his absence from Lord Azuren’s latest invasion if he all he’s doing is expanding his own territory.”

I relaxed, Elmidath had clearly thought a lot more about this than I had. Was wondering if the people you meet would betray you something all the Demon Lords had to worry about? It certainly seemed that way. At least we were almost done waiting, there shouldn’t be enough time for Elmidath to start overthinking things again. “Then we’re not going to do anything about the way he acted?”

Elmidath shook her head. “Nope. We’ve got enough fighting to do already. Hopefully he’ll be more amenable when he’s rested. If not, then we’ll just have to bear it. We don’t need him and his men for long.”
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