Survive! Foolish Bottom! - CH 1

“The next people to grace the stage are Stone Cherry! Before watching their performance, we’ll meet Stone Cherry!”

The music show’s MC’s voice felt like a Sanctus being heard from far away. Or would the phrase ‘Devil’s Whisper’ be more fitting in this instance?

Park Haeun stiffened from bewilderment and nervousness. He walked while extending his right arm and leg simultaneously. At that moment, someone slapped his back and spoke. When he robotically looked behind him, the very first thing he saw was red hair. If it had been someone else, he would’ve thought that slapping his back had been an action to relax him, but things were different if it was this member.

“Do it properly this time. Don’t humiliate the group.”

As expected, the words he said to Haeun were full of hostility. The normal Park Haeun would’ve grabbed him by the collar and tussled with him or cursed. But at this moment, surprisingly, he was not angry at all. He was in too much of a nervous state for that.

How had the situation become like this?

As he was wondering, he had already gotten on top of the stage. If he received the mic that the MCs were pushing towards him in this state, he would’ve thrown it as if he was someone handling a bomb. Luckily, they passed the mic, not to Haeun, but to the brunette next to him.

“What kind of song are you promoting? Could the leader, Ilhyun-ssi 1, explain?”

“Yes! Instead of the powerful and dynamic appearance that Stone Cherry has shown so far, this time we’ve come back with a song that’s cool and refreshing like the summer ocean! All our members have worked hard to bring you something fresh, so we would be thankful if you look at us favorably!”

The lines he had prepared flowed continuously from his lips. They were lines that Haeun had already seen hundreds of times in text, but when he heard it directly from a voice full of military discipline, it felt different.

“I see. We’re also looking forward to it. Then, can Parkha-ssi, who’s next to you, say something?”

“Since your fans probably long for cheerful and refreshing Parkha-ssi! Can I ask for some aegyo 2 to take a hold of their hearts~?”

“”

Haeun had put his guard down when a question knocked him over. Aegyo? There was no way he’d do something like that. Haeun had not shown aegyo to anyone in the 20-something years he’d lived.

He should’ve pulled himself together since it was a situation where the cameras were rolling, but Haeun, whose mind went blank from nervousness, made a fatal mistake. He opened his mouth without thinking and with a frown on his face.

“Aegyo, f- What aegyo…”

“…”

In an instant, the atmosphere turned heavy as if someone had poured cold water over it.

‘Ah, fuck.’

Only then did rationality, that had left home, return. Park Haeun recalled a very simple fact. The fact that they were in the middle of a live broadcast.

‘I’m fucked…’

Was it fortunate that he evaded spitting out the rest of the curse? However, seeing the camera that was already focused on Park Haeun, he didn’t think it was.

“Ha, hahaha… Lately, Parkha-ssi has been practicing to show a strong image, so he ended up…”

The leader, who was standing next to him, urgently grabbed Park Haeun’s shoulder and spit out nonsense. Because of the hand full of strength, his caught shoulder hurt. Although Park Haeun had lived as he liked, there was no way he couldn’t figure out this one simple fact. He was really fucked.

At that moment, with a cheerful and machine-like voice, a passage sparkling like a neon sign displayed in front of his eyes.

『Σ(ﾟﾛﾟ;) A pro idol doesn’t say horrible words like that! (｀Д´*)o』

‘No!’

Park Haeun internally screamed ardently. He felt like he was breaking out in a colder sweat than just before. He’d never have thought that he’d be this afraid of a passage full of cutesy emoticons. However, whether Haeun was afraid or not, the coldhearted machine voice tickled his ears.

『To be reborn as a great idol, a compulsory penalty will be imposed!』

『Automatic selection after 3 seconds ♥』

It did that even though he said he wasn’t interested in things like great idols. Even when he firmly closed his eyes, the passage didn’t disappear.

‣ Cute aegyo ♥

‣ Very cute aegyo ♥

‣ Very very cute aegyo ♥

He tried to choose something before it was automatically selected, but it was impossible. Whether it was very cute or less cute, he couldn’t possibly choose between those kinds of choices with his own hands.

『Automatic selection is completed ♥ A choice has been automatically outputted!』

‣ Parkha did that because he was so nervous (´ﾉω；`) I’ll show you my aegyo (*>ω<*)

Although he was already aware of it, 3 seconds was very short. Park Haeun became pale from fright, and his lips moved automatically.

“Parkha did that because he was so nervous. I’ll show you my aegyo~!”

It was hard to explain how he felt after spewing out a phrase that he didn’t want to even see. To embody the emoticons that were difficult to express with a voice, the ‘ㅇ’ consonant was automatically added to his words 3 and stretching out the end of his sentences and a lisp were bonuses. Park Haeun was unable to do anything and controlled like a puppet.

He opened his eyes widely, and with both of his fists placed under his chin, he puckered his lips and kissed the air.

**ck.

Fu**.

Fuck!

He could feel the gazes from the people around him. Of course, the MC who had requested aegyo, as well as the leader who had been gripping Haeun’s shoulder as if he’d crush it, looked at him like they were looking at something strange.

As he cursed internally, Haeun thought, ‘From the beginning, I shouldn’t have started this kind of game. I should’ve deleted it as soon as I downloaded it. I shouldn’t have stayed up all night to clear it. I really shouldn’t have done something like request to participate in a beta test!’

However, even if he regretted it, it was too late.

Unlike his devastated mind, Park Haeun didn’t submit to the pouring gazes towards him and moved complicatedly. He shot double finger guns towards the camera, winked while lifting a leg, and made bunny ears on the top of his head. After that, he puffed his cheeks out and shot finger hearts with both of his hands.

As he saw the site of the interview that urgently ended, Park Haeun secretly wept tears of blood.

How did things become like this? At the same time that he thought about it again, the memories flashing before his eyes traced back to the start of the tragedy.