Surviving as a Maid - Chapter 3

Translator: Amy

There are so many assholes in the world. I tell myself every start of the year that I will not cuss, but there are so many bad people out there that you just cannot describe them in words nice than cuss words.

From the first day that I became ‘Ahsee,’ I thought the King was a son of a bitch. Thinking is not a sin and I have always thought that. But now, as I am hugging a bloody body, shaking, I am scared that this is the sin. What is so special about power and that son of a dog King that I have to be shaking in fear doubting my own self.

“Jurgel.”

It was such a warm and heartwarming voice that it gave me shivers. And after that, I trembled so much that my back was trembling and my body was dragged with a back that did not feel like mine. “Clash,” the bloody knife thrashed the floor, and the king stroked Jurgel’s cheeks as if he didn’t care about that.

“I’m sorry the blood splashed.”

Son of a bitch.

I never thought I would be in this situation when I took over nanny work ever since Sav broke her leg. Since there wasn’t much chance for me to take care of the baby, I did fear the unknown. However, if I that I would be in front of someone crying their bloody eyes out, I wouldn’t have been transported when I was making my ramen, but during when I would be texting to make an appointment at a fortune teller place.

The idea of ​​entrusting a baby to unmarried ladies who have never had a child was astounding, but I was glad to know that all I had to do was be besides a nanny who already knew what she was doing. Sleeping baby prince was warm, and I was scared once again because he was heavier than my thoughts. I’ve only held dogs and cats, never a baby as an adult.

The work of a housemaid really fit my aptitude, but I don’t think this taking care of a baby is my thing. I was thinking that I should let the headmistress know that I wasn’t fit for this job and that she shouldn’t assign me to this during a rotation.

In such a sunny, relaxing time, Jurgel came by.

With the King, without any notice.

Was it noisy outside? There was no time to think. As the door spurred, the King came in front of the empty cradle and Jurgel took the baby from my arms. Knights and soldiers followed them.

The King was still young and handsome. When I first saw his face, I thought he was such a beauty, but now that I have seen two other beautiful men, my impression changed a little.

If Jurgel had beauty like the light shining off a mirror, the King had a heavier atmosphere surrounding him. If I was just looking at their looks, Alex is the best looking, and the King was close to the competition. Well, if I had to pick, Sir Alex is my type. Someone who looks like they have a story.

Then, I had a thought.

“Carmen Donna. Is that right? From what I know, the Queen brought you from home.”

“Yes, Your Majesty. I have been there since the Queen was a baby.”

I thought peacefully until the king pulled out a knife stabbed the nanny without a flinch with that handsome face of his.

I didn’t realize where she was stabbed because I was standing right behind her, but as I saw the blood drip down, memories of following my mom to the hospital when she was ill flashed before my eyes. There was a needle on the back of her hand and other stuff around her. Some lady complained that it was annoying and pulled the needle out, and right then blood gushed out of her hand and onto the emergency room floor. That instance. That blood. So much of that blood.

“Carmen Donna. I arrest you for having internal connections with the dark witches.”

The King pulled the knife out and stabbed her again. It was about then that I found myself screaming along with the nanny. Her warm and thick blood splashed all over my body and I collapsed as I was backing out.

Like he was doing a boring chore, the King put his foot on the screaming nanny’s soldier and pulled out the knife from her body somewhere. And the blood splashed all over again. Is that knife going to come at me too? No, I cannot scream. He could look at me and stab me. I know nothing about ‘Ahsee’s’ past. I’m scared.

“Take her away.”

The King gave command from a distance. Even though I have only been with her for a couple hours, she just felt like a weak hearted women and now her back had turned red from the blood. Her body was trembling and I don’t know if she was making everything else tremble or if my heart was beating too fast, but I could not look straight at her.

This was my first time seeing something so violent up close. I’ve seen tones of scenes on TVs or monitors of people being hurt, dying, and crying but that wasn’t that big of a deal to me. But I have never experienced anything like this in front of my eyes without any filter. The nanny’s scream sharply increased and I hugged my trembling self. I wish I could get into the rat hole. I want to hide, curl up, and disappear.

Son of a bitch.

I got shivers watching the King touching Jurgel’s face calmly right after destroying a person. I did not expect human rights from this world. And that is why I did not go around on my own trying to look for clues and why I was nice to Jurgel. Wherever I am, whatever I do, the ultimate important thing is that I live.

I smell blood all over my body. I feel like fainting. The nanny could have been innocent, but she could also not been. If she really was guilty, the King might have the right to have done what he is. Is it? That motherfucker has already brought soldiers into the royal palace twice. I’ve only seen it twice, but there was probably more before.

Son of a bitch. If you are that worried that the Queen will use her power in any way, you should just ask a random person from the streets to take care of your son. Or write up a contract and make an actual deal. You have to have a heir, but want to keep your love, so you chose to commit your actions because you are afraid that you will lose your lover? And you have to be so violent? Even if he is young, you are violently killing someone in front of your own son with a knife? I should show him the people that turned into murders because they saw their mom get murdered by someone else in their youth.

The baby prince was still in Jurgel’s arms and he smiled as if what the King was touching was a flower pedal. And then he saw me.

“I just thought she was a housemaid.”

Jurgel was still in a beautiful spring atmosphere, but there was the smell of blood everywhere still and my body did not stop shaking. Jurgel’s footsteps towards me sounded scarier than those of a grim reaper. On his clean shoes, nanny’s blood had splattered all over. I could not look up from those shoes. Jurgel could request me to lick his shoes clean and I would have done it.

I tried pulling the apron with a trembling hand, but there was no clean part to hold with my hand. If you look at a cartoon or a drama, when the heroines were in an emergency, they could rip it off well, but the fabrics here were unlikely to be torn just by pulling.

“You must have been really shocked.”

With one arm holding the prince baby tightly, Jurgel bent down to offer me his other hand. With a slightly embarrassed smile.

Am I shocked? Me? I? Me? Do I look surprised? ME?

“There were potential getaways, so we couldn’t do anything else but a strong enforcement. Were you scared?

Looking at my bloody hands holding onto my clothes, Jurgel softly grabbed my hand and helped me up. Different from his soft beauty, he had enough strength to pull up a girl like me easily. I have to let go of his hand, but I could not let go of Jurgel’s hand because mine was shaking so much. He kept smiling at me with an awkward face.

Will the nanny die? The King said she had a relationship with the dark warlocks. The country was in an unending war with the neighboring country, whose nobles were all warlocks, and if found, warlocks were executed without trial. I don’t know if it’s true or not, even if one doesn’t die right away, they will eventually die.

“Is the maid you said that child?”

“Yes your Majesty. I thought she was just a housemaid.”

Did they talk about me before? About a random ordinary maid like me? Can I know what you guys are talking about?

As the King was busy wiping off the splashed blood off of Jurgel’s face, one of the knights behind him grabbed the knife that was on the floor. One knight cleaned the blood off the knife with a cloth while the other knight was wiping off the blood on the King’s hand. It was already a busy sight.

If I held onto Jurgel’s hand any longer, I felt like the King was going to stab me too so I forced my hand to spread out so I can let go and the King did not look away from me. Then with his hand with some blood still on it, he grabbed my face and looked all over my face.

“Your name?”

“It is ah-Ahsee, your Majesty.”

In this room, I was the weakest and I was the only one shivering in fear. Is there other maids out this door? I don’t know why the Queen isn’t here considering her room is not too far from the baby prince’s room. Like the King said, it’s not like the Queen didn’t know the nanny since they have known each other since the Queen was born.

While I was thinking that, I looked up at him with my shaking chin still in his hand. The king’s eyes were well-polished chestnut brown. Cool and calm, yet a little playful.

As the King slowly opened his mouth, I remembered what I asked my friend a long time ago for some reason.

-When did you know that your life was over?

“I realized that my son’s nanny is now gone.”

And my friend had answered.

-When my SAT score was so low that I couldn’t put it in my applications.

“Seems like you can do the job.”

I don’t know why I suddenly thought about that friend. I was on a call with that friend because her score still wouldn’t improve and she was thinking about switching her career and that was the morning that I turned into ‘Ahsee.’

“Me? Uh, me, I can’t breastfeed…”

The King let go of my chin and took the baby prince from Jurgel. I might not know much, but I know that one shouldn’t hold a baby like that so high with one hand. My body was shaking, but my instinct took over and my body made a motion to take the baby from him.

“It’s been about a month. He doesn’t need breastfeeding.”

With those words, he brought the baby prince into my arms. The baby prince is so clam that he was sleeping so well through all this chaotic events. Meanwhile, the person who took care of him all his life was dead, screaming, in the hands of his own dad. I was so scared, but with the baby in my arms, my trembling started to subside.

“I, I don’t know much about taking care of a baby…”

“Whoever it is, anyone is better than a warlock, to take care of my son.”

The king, who was already interested in me, turned to Jurgel. Jurgel seemed to want to say something to me, but the king pulled him with his hand, and he soon forgot me and walked shoulder to shoulder with the King. The busy knights and soldiers followed them, making the clean areas dirty with blood stains. While was King was walking over the doorstep, it seemed like he stopped briefly, but he continued to walk away with his arm over Jurgel’s shoulder.

Dumbfounded, I looked around everywhere as the baby prince started to cry. Sir Mio, covered in blood, was wiping away the blood with a tired and depressed face. For a second, his gloomy eyes noticed me, but I realized soon that his attention was not on me.

I looked around again at the doorway the King walked out of, and I saw the Queen there. The King probably saw her as the Queen was walking out of the room with her loose long dark hair and a simple decoration like a marble.

“My Majesty.”

I wanted to pass on the baby to the Queen. But as I was about to walk towards her, she lifted her hand to stop me. The prince’s room that was once gorgeous, was not full of human blood all dirty. The Queen scanned the room with her clam eyes, saw Sir Mio last, and walked out of the room.

There is no knight or prince coming to save me or is there anyone coming to pull me out.

Just like that I became baby prince’s new nanny.

Epilogue———————————————

-There’s a new maid in the Queen’s palace. She seems to have a good personality?

-Is she pretty?

-No. She is just good at greetings.

Asking about the tiniest things.

It felt like someone threw an ice-cold balloon on my face. The sudden shock and coldness and flowing from the top of my head to the rest.

The prince fell asleep. Starting tomorrow morning, I have to move to the room next to the prince’s. Why? Because I am the ‘nanny.’

I read ‘Escape’ day by day. Jurgel and King Evans had a lovely and beautiful love scene and it would have been nice to flow with that flow, but despite that he could not overlook the Queen and had to get her involved. At first, I just felt bad for the queen, but as I kept reading, I kept feeling bad for the Queen. Is that why I am here?

Am I punished for having pity on the queen, or did am I sent here to save her from her tragic life? Either way, this is somewhat annoying. Who is going to save me? You have to save your own life.

I guess the rumor spread fast and far. Everywhere I went, I felt the maids murmuring about me, but I did not care. Even if the rumor didn’t spread, people would have been talking about the blood all over my body. I held tight onto my apron and ran straight to my room.

I don’t know if my head is hot or cold. One side felt like I was hit with an ice bucket and the other side felt like it was pushed into a hot tub. I just wanted to scream.

Technically, none of the other maids were off yet, but I decided to excuse myself early fro work today. I can do that. Because the mistress said I can today.

“Ahsee Token.”

After the Queen disappeared, the mistress appeared. Ahsee’s last name is Token. A month since I have been here. Now I know Ahsee’s full name.

She sighed after looking at the bloody room and me with her cold stone eyes and took the baby from me. Because I was holding the baby, the cloth wrapping the prince had bloodstains on it now. She looked at the cloth as if she was looking at something dirty. I was still in panic mode then. Actually, I think I still am.

“Mistress, ma’am. The, the King said I am the nanny.”

“I heard.”

“I-I do not even know how to take care of a child.”

Her look towards me was familiar. It was the look a one gave when she said she was tired of looking after my stupid and careless mistakes that she would rather have me die.

“But you are still the nanny. Since the King has ordered that, you must follow it until you die.”

Anywhere you go, getting jobs through connections will always have bad rumors, it’s unfair. Can you even say I got this job through others? Without my hard work? What did I do wrong. I was just making my ramen. I just wanted to get home safely so I have been trying so hard to fit in as ‘Ahsee’! I was so stressed and always on my toes to not say anything stupid or spill any information while talking to others!

It is clear that the rumor has spread. The path to my room was filled with maids looking at me, but avoiding my eye contact like I was a dangerous chicken. Maybe how I look horrendous right now. I finally climbed the floor of our room, took off my head cap, pushed my finger in my hair, and released my hair like a crazy woman. There was even blood on my hair and it dried up so it wasn’t easy to comb through it.

I opened the door, then closed it. As soon as I sat in front of the console, I opened the drawer and reached out for any blank papers I could reach.

I read the “Escape” day by day. I read it sentence by sentence in the beginning, but towards the end I only looked for pages that had the Queen in it. So I have no knowledge about this world.

It’s not that I have not written out the timeline for other characters in this world, it’s that I couldn’t. Because I do not remember anything!

“Escape” is a novel with high mortality rate. I was afraid, but I was glad because I thought nameless characterless, who play minor roles, would be safe. Think about it. Unless there is a war, most people that die in novels are characters with greater roles.

The paper spread like a fan on the console. With my trembling hand, I took the pen from the dusty corner of the console. As I opened the pen cap, maybe it was my trembling hand, but a couple ink drops fell on the paper. If it was red ink, it would have looked like that nanny’s blood.

… It was weird. When I read “Escape” day by day, every time I ran across the part about the prince, his accessories were a dark eyed Sir Mio and a young nanny. ‘Young’ nanny. One could not say that the previous nanny was young, no matter how one described her. I just thought it was the author’s black humor.

That young nanny was I. Me. Ahsee Token. But still a nameless character.

The feel of the pen nib scratching the paper was eerie. The sound of scraping paper is hysterical. I wrote the names of Evans and King on the paper.

The King is a son of a bitch. Undisturbed and selfish asshole. The nanny was probably guilty. The King will not make up of false accusations to disturb the Queen. He simply leaves her alone and does not respect her authority. And only bother her with a purpose. But since she brought in someone who was working with the warlocks, he did what he had to do.

This could have been done secretly and quietly. He decided to resolve it by spraying blood all over the Queen’s palace. In the investigation that follows, no one will show favor or mercy to the Queen’s family. He is such an asshole with no sympathy.

I wrote the word war under the King’s name. There were several wars in this novel. How many, where was it? I do not remember. Around now is about the time a Count comes back from a war. Afflicted with the birth complex, Jurgel saved him, and the Count helped ruin the Queen’s family.

And there was a few wars after that. In a few wars, Jurgel’s famous sword fighter marquis was also involved. I don’t remember if he died or lived. I just remember that because when he went missing, the Queen’s younger brother kidnapped Jurgel, but a twist plot of him falling in love of Jurgel, was messing with my brain.

Wait no. The important thing was not the war. On a new paper, I wrote Jurgel on top of the King’s. Jurgel mesmerized almost every male character in ‘Escape’. He was an impartial ruler and a ruthless fascinator, and almost all of the men who saw him fell for Jurgel no matter who he loved before. Jurgel’s magic. Even one who was living a loving life with his wife, fell in love with Jurgel, and ruined his marriage.

Then, none of this is Jurgel’s fault. His love was only for King Evans and he was just kind to everyone where. So it is kind of his fault, but not at all his fault. His existence is bad. If he knew that he was flagging into many of people’s lives, he should have kicked the Queen and just never left the palace.

The bloody smell stained on my body. This smell from my body smells like someone’s blood, right? I haven’t been hurt anywhere yet, but will this happen again?

The Queen needs a shield. It would be best if the prince isn’t taken away. If that can’t happen, at least she needs enough power that the King won’t pull out a knife out of nowhere. When the king asked for a prince, even if there was only one desperately opposed to the king, her life didn’t have to go that far. How are you still conscious after taking the tax payer’s money for doing nothing?

Of course most people of higher powers are in love with Jurgel. I hope this country gets destroyed. How is every men in this world gay. No, perhaps the people who fall for Jurgel isn’t gay but just in love with the person Jurgel is so homo might be the better word to describe them.

I stabbed the fountain pen on the paper, alternately looking at the paper with the names of Jurgel and the King. I don’t even know what I am writing. The ink continued to bleed from the area where it touched the pen, and I thought that if I poked that pointed pen tip into my neck for a while, I would be next to the sink with my ramen boiling. My senses were 100% real and I realized that I would die if I actually did that.

The ink kept spreading and I felt like dying.

“I wish I was in Jurgel’s body instead.”

If I were in Jurgel’s body, I would have conquered this world, seriously. Almost all the men, even if unintentional, fall in love with Jurgel, so the deputies and generals of the knights are determined and tempted to bring the King down with my persuasion and I would become King.

In fact, I think that here is the part where the true love of Jurgel and the King are proved. Even though Jurgel could have done it for sure, he did not cause himself to take the place of the royal court, either by rebelling or encouraging ministers to bring down the queen. Instead of becoming an unprecedented male queen, he gave up his pride and became a male concubine to remain with Evans. Their love is not selfish, so why are their surroundings so devastating.

Because I held tightly onto the pen, ink splashed into my hand and it became unsightly. I put down a fountain pen with a sigh and looked at the mirror on the console.

I was there.

Not any better or worse, just my same face.

Is my ramen safe? That was the day my mom was going to dye her hair. I just want to go home. I shouldn’t think this, I really didn’t want to, but I just want to go home. A storm came over my distressed life. I just want to go home, cuddle next to my mom, and hide.

How can a non-pretty woman with no elite background survive in a BL world?

1.Be faithful and loyal to the original story and becomes friends with high officials.

2.Attempt to destroy the original story.

3.Don’t do anything.

I thought deeply about all three options. None of the options seem hopeful. No matter what I thought, the risk of bad dying when I make the wrong choice is too great. There is nothing I can do. I sighed and let go of the pen.

My body is still stained with blood. I should take a shower before Mina comes back. Moreover, burn this paper.

I gathered some clothes to take to the bathroom, and I suddenly thought. I am now the infamous nanny that the King appointed? There is no one that could fire me? It is as if I work in the civil service?

Then couldn’t I start brainwashing the baby prince before Sir Mio does?

That his father is a son of a bitch.

Epilogue————————————————

Thank you to the person for catching my paper errors!

Ahsee isn’t pretty. She is just okay after cleaning herself up. I mean if one is pretty after getting ready, aren’t they just pretty? Ahsee just has a normal face. LOL

There will be no such high-speed promotion again in my life. From apprentice housemaid to formal maid. The salary rose. I am also writing a contract. In addition, I became a semi-noble.

“All the nanny of the royal family are given a semi-aristocratic status. Your situation is a very special case… but you know what this means?”

“Yeah! My rating has risen in the marriage market.”

I know that look. One gave me the look me when I said I didn’t know how to use a printer.

However, assuming that the commoner ‘Ahsee’ becomes a semi-aristocrat, the spouse’s target expands to the level of the knights, so it is also true that the rating in the marriage market rose. The semi-aristocracy itself is only a short-term certificate that cannot be inherited, but it is possible for a spouse to inherit a semi-aristocracy to their children when the spouse also has a semi-aristocracy. So, there is no job to inherit, and the condition of the bride, which is popular among the nobles under the younger son or the knight class who is the same semi-aristocrat, is a semi-noble, but it is not easy for a woman to be a semi-noble. Especially for a younger age range like ‘Ahsee.’

Now my life is unfolding.  All the young and good looking knights come after me.

“Now from the moment you sign this contract, I also have to write respect for you and you will take care of your baby’s childcare. I hope you think about it.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t sign it.”

I feel like a special maid. What kind of a King goes out of his way to personally pick his son’s nanny. Without a response, the mistress put down the written contact in front of me.

White was the paper and black was the ink.

‘Ahsee’ was illiterate!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh I thought there was nothing more I could be surprised by! No wonder there were no books or words in the room. Then why did she even carry a fountain pen!

Slowly and calmly, I stared at the contract once again. Okay it wasn’t like I was totally illiterate.

…Is… by… must… work…

Okay. I cannot read. I felt the embarrassment I felt when I didn’t do well on my TOEIC test that I couldn’t put it on my application.

“Mistress, ma’am. I don’t know how to tell you this, but.”

“What is it.”

“I do not know how to read.”

Humiliation. I was in the top for languages. I was from a country where illiteracy was infinitely converging to zero, and I didn’t want to say it even if my mouth was torn, but I humbly bowed my head. My fingers are only hanging over my knees, but a heavy silence above my head presses my back to the head. I don’t want to see the face of the mistress now. How pathetic could I look.

“Yes, you were a commoner. Right. That’s right.”

Her word says “right” but her voice did not match. It was like ‘anyone can be like that, but not my person!’ kind of a vibe.

“I don’t know how long you will be baby prince’s nanny, but…”

I hope she doesn’t mean she doesn’t know how long I’ll live.

“One can have disadvantages when taking care of the baby. When the prince is older, we will get him a tutor but for now you must do your job.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I’ll send a teacher to teach you how to read and write.”

It’s been N years since I have gotten my college diploma. I had no motivation to get back in the grind of studying, but I have no choice.

“Yes, thank you.”

“Now sign and you can go on your way.”

With my calmest face, I opened the cap to the pen I brought and asked.

“Where should I sign?”

With a pathetic and disappointed look, the mistress pointed towards the end of the contract.

From dawn, my room was moved to the room next to the baby prince’s room. Mina and Ellie helped me move and tried to cheer me up, but I was in no state of cheerfulness. I am unmarried and unexperienced, so the experienced sisters told me about my future life. The most difficult time is the time before the baby is about 100 days old. Feeding for hours during the day. Bye to my personal life.

People in this world are insane. How can they trust me with the newborn baby. Jobs like this should be given to experienced people. Professionals.

The king, who didn’t know anything, confidently said that it was time end breastfeed in a month, but that is not the case. So, early in the morning, the queen came and fed the baby prince. Even back in the old times with the original nanny, the baby prince was eating both breast milk and milk powder. Breast milk is three times in the morning, lunch and dinner. The Queen didn’t seem to have sufficient milk.

“I’ve heard your name before…”

“Yes, Your Majesty. It’s called Ahsee.”

“Yes, Ahsee.”

I don’t think the queen knew the names of all the ladies in her palace, but she politely replied. I don’t know if ‘Ahsee’ is a noble, but since she is illiterate and she probably is a commoner.

The queen did not hold the baby prince for a long time. As soon as it seemed to be full, the baby prince put back in the cradle. Only for a few seconds did the prince cry, but soon enough he went back to playing by himself.

“You must have went through a lot.”

As much as I wanted to deny, my mouth would not open. The Queen stood up, looked at Sir Mio standing in the doorway, and turned to look at me again.

“Starting from lunch, I will bring the baby to you. I apologize for not thinking ahead on the first day, my lady.”

The Queen stared at me. The Queen of dark hair and dark eyes was not a glamorous or striking beauty, but she was an elegant beauty with a sweet and calm atmosphere. She was not the striking type but she was a quiet beauty like a water stroke painting. Her beauty is defeated against the sparkling beauty of Jurgel.

“No, you do not have to do that.”

The Queen spoke as calmly as water flow. The Queen and Sir Mio had some similarities. They are both depressing and unfortunate.

“I do not like the smell of a baby in my room.”

I have never had a child, but I knew that the world of mothers who gave birth was rewritten around the child. I know that an unconditionally loving mother is just a fantasy dream, but seeing the Queen so unhappy and hurt after birth made even made my heart ache.

The Queen left without making a single noise and the baby prince started to cry. An older version of the prince won’t remember what happened today. Perhaps the words Sir Mio puts into the baby’s ears aren’t all false. Baby, your mom did not love you and your dad did not care about you. You were born without love. But it is not like every child is born with love, so you were not born that unfortunately.

I held the heavy baby and patted its back a few times for it to calm down relatively quickly. Thankfully, the prince was a pretty calm and collected baby. In the past, before entering school, an aunt who had fought with her uncle had a baby in my house. At that time, the baby did not stop crying and because of that memory, I’ve never liked babies.

Until yesterday, this room was filled with blood. However, there was no sign of blood anywhere. Let along the smell of blood. Whoever cleaned this room must have put in a lot of effort to get everything clean. Just yesterday I was crawled up all shaky in a housemaid dress, but now I am standing here as the nanny of the prince.

With the baby in my arms, I turned around to look straight at Sir Mio. I was looking into those gloomy eyes of someone who I have to be with 24 hours now, including eating, cleaning, and changing clothes.

I wonder how he feels. Escorting the child of his lover’s love. I wonder how he feels about this complex situation that allowed him to see Jurgel more often.

I wonder why he loves Jurgel so much.

“Hello Sir Mio Zodiac. As you know, I am now the prince’s nanny. My name is Ahsee Token, you can call me Ahsee.”

Even though the baby was a little heavy, I held him with one arm and extended my other hand out to him. With his gloomy eyes, Sir Mio looked at my hand, but did not shake it. Not able to hold the baby with one arm for long, I retrieved my hand to use both arms to hold the baby. The baby prince is quite heavy.

He does not love the baby prince. Neither do I. There’s no such joke that one has to take care of the child of someone you do not love.

“Can I call you Sir Mio?”

For the first time, he looked straight at me. If I took one more step forward, I could have seen his eyes reflected by the sunlight, but from that distance one footstep short, he said while looking at the baby and I deeply.

“As you please.”

Thank god. This is the one thing in this world that has gone in the direction I wanted it to.

“Sir Mio.”

“Ahsee.”

We greeted each other awkwardly like those greeting in American movies. We still had a long path to go, but for it being the first step, it was not bad.

Hello, baby. Your dad is a son of a bitch.

Hello, sir. The person you love is a piece of shit.

I will show you through easy repetition on your level.

Epilogue————————————————

The main character is not too young LOL She probably could never get together with the prince haha.

“I am Baron Seya Robin. Nice to meet you, Ahsee.”

He was a pretty young man with light lemon hair and lighter green eyes than Mina. All the doors of the room was closed, but there was a smell of soft grass warmed by sunlight and a fresh wind blowing from somewhere. Perhaps it was because of the color, there was no elf in ‘Escape’ but if there was one, I’m sure this is what they would have looked like, and he reached out and offered me his hand. If I took the hand, I am sure it would have been softer than mine, but my hands were full to take on his offer.

The mistress was always good at accomplishing tasks. Of course, I could tell from just looking at her face. How could she find someone to teach me how to read and write in just a matter of a day. I’m thankful for her for sending me someone who is so young and good looking. I’m sorry for being scared of you because of your books. I still do think you are scary, but you are a good person.

“I don’t have a hand, Seya… Sir? Mr. Seya? No, Baron Seya.”

Thankfully, Seya smiled at me like a flower and I awkwardly smiled back while feeding the baby prince with a milk bottle. There was a time when I woke up, turned on the TV, and just drowned at the fact that my life was going to end. This was not too long ago. If my mental state was exhausted back then, my physical body is exhausted now that I feel like dying. And I am tired. Barely sleeping to take of the prince’s milk meals during night and dawn, it’s only been a day. I cannot do this already.

It’s not like I expected a lot… But I did not think I would also be studying while taking of a baby. Even self-study in the morning or self-study at night was not this harsh. I thought other maids would take care of the baby while I was studying. I did not think I would have to get up earlier than other maids to study. Thanks to that, Sir Mio is also up early and is waiting like a guard back in Joseon Dynasty. The personal life of the baby prince, Sir Mio, or myself is all annihilated.

“I realize you must be tired because it is an early morning, Ahsee. I apologize. I can only do this time because the rest of my day is booked.”

“No don’t worry. I am honored and thankful for your kindness that you took the day out of your time to teach me.”

I looked over as I called him kind. He has a face of someone who could not pull a grass out, but he could be a harsh teacher. Seya was a bureaucrat working in the personnel department of the Royal Palace. He was probably the best person with the greatest background that the mistress could find, and for him to spend his little time with me to teach me how to read and write seemed overdone.

I don’t remember seeing the name Seya Robin in ‘Escape.’ It could be that I just do not remember, but it is even more possible that he was a nameless character because he is a baron with a confusing status. I felt comfortable knowing that I would not have to worry about him falling in love with Jurgel.

The prince drank his milk deliciously, and Seya looked at the prince with his soft eyes. Does he have a child?

“Are you married?”

“Ah? Hahaha.”

With him laughing like that, it reminded me of my first day in high school where the students begged the teacher to spill his love experience. While Seya laughed out loud, I adjusted the baby’s position and started patting his back. I do as much as I know and tell around, but I am worried because I don’t know anything about the baby’s development process or anything like that. I think there should be as assigned doctor for the baby. I say this again, but I do not know how they trust me with the baby. Unless the King had another hidden baby, it would be highly possible that I would be taking care of this prince until the end of ‘Escape.’ I wonder what gut he has only with Jurgel and the Queen.

“I am too young to be married.”

“Oh I see. Then you must like children.”

“Do you not Ahsee?”

No. Never. Ever.

However, since I was already a nanny, I couldn’t answer like that, so I laughed vaguely for him to answer that himself.

“Do you think you can copy the basic letters?”

After a few seconds, he took out a paper with pretty letter written on it and showed it to me. The basic letters of this place looked similar to the alphabet. I don’t know if the pronunciation and function are the same, but the approximation looks similar, and Seya’s handwriting has a neatness resembling his appearance.

“Here are the writing utensils…”

“No worries, I brought my own.”

Babies have to burp after eating, so I have to tap the prince’s back, but the baby prince hasn’t burped yet. Since he has eaten it would be peaceful if he did and slept so I could focus more on studying. My arm started to hurt. I switched the baby onto my other arm and took out the fountain pen from instead of my dress.

I took the cap off with my mouth and tried to copy the pretty letters that Seya gave. Since I was trying to do everything with one hand, it was sad to see that my letters were all squiggly.

“Interesting.”

Seya said on top of my head. I was not happy to hear that. I mean I know it is not the prettiest, but I was trying to write with one hand, and it is my first day… wait no, it’s not even that ugly? But I went back to writing the prettiest letters I can, returned the paper, and closed my cap.

As he was looking over my work, he patted the prince’s back with his other free hand. The prince burped after a few pats. Now, I can lay him down. Wait, can I put him down right away? They said when they burp they have digested. I patted him a few more times and then proceeded to put him back on the cradle.

For a second, it was peaceful in the room. There was a soft noise towards the windows and wind passed by my cheek. My head followed the wind and I saw Sir Mio sitting on the window will with his hair fluffing. With his closed eyes, his gloomy atmosphere disappeared, and I once again was reminded of how handsome he was.

It was an early morning and the sun was still as cold as the moon, and maybe it was because it was the only three of us in here with the baby, Sir Mio looked peaceful. I was too. I sat with one hand on the cradle, leaning back on the chair comfortably. My back was stiff and painful. I stopped breathing briefly due to the pain of releasing the tense muscles.

“There is room for improvement, but the writing is not bad. It seems like you know how to write the basics.”

“Yes. I can read some basic words…. But you should just think that I know nothing.”

“When the prince grows up, he will be assigned a private tutor. Until then, you would probably be charge of teaching the baby the basics. Nothing too advanced or technical, but should we set your goal to be that you should be able to read children’s book to the prince?”

“Yes, Sir Seya.”

“Teacher.”

Seya said again with his soft and kind-hearted voice.

“You can call me teacher for now.”

This should be natural, but I felt like I was listening to something I should not have. Life is so harsh on me, but my body reflected. When I feel like I am fine and I can handle it, my body reacts with hormones of the marriageable age. It’s been too long since I last dated. When I graduated college, it seemed like I also graduated out of the dating life. That was it. My immunity for men is too low.

Out of everyone I met here, Seya is the most gentlemanlike, and he ignored my blushing face for me.

Jurgel is here. He comes here so often. Seya left after about an hour, and the Queen has just came and left. It was around noon. I don’t know how he comes at such perfect timing. There’s probably nothing good that comes out, but I wonder how they react when they see each other.

“Hello, Mr. Jurgel. Isn’t the weather nice today?”

When I think of that day, I still am scared and mad, but the anger demands a lot of energy and I can remember it, but I cannot keep it for a long time. The law is far, reality is close, but his abusive power is the closest. So I treated Jurgel with a great smile like how I would at call centers. However, the expression of veteran infant and toddler maid Eli, who will be in charge of the baby prince with me for a while, was not bright. Don’t look at me like that… I hope you know I am not nice to Jurgel because I’m on some pills or anything.

“Hello? Your name…”

“It is Ahsee, Mr. Jurgel.”

“Right. It was a name like that. Those non-maid clothes look good on you.”

I laughed silently. No matter how much I look at him, he is a shitbag. It was not a compliment in my book to say that I look good in these dark and shabby clothes. ‘Ahsee’ is poor. As one can see, there are few personal belongings, and the greatest being music boxes and a fountain pen. Wait no. I respect her hobbies and personal taste. One must have what they want even if they must starve.

Maybe that was it that these clothes seemed to plain and maybe too tacky that the maid’s outfit with laced aprons seemed fancier than what I had on. Since I was in this world anyways, I wanted to wear a petticoat made of whale bones, hold the bed pillars and tighten the corset. And try wearing a gorgeous dress with heavy laces. I dreamed of putting my hair down, twisting it, braiding it, putting on a ribbon, putting on lace, wearing jewelry, and play dress up doll.

“Our baby. Hi?”

I don’t know what Jurgel contributed to the process of the birth of the baby prince, so I don’t know what the modifier ‘our’ was, but I hope it’s just ‘our’ as in everyone’s. He pulled the baby out of the cradle, where he was playing well by himself, and brought him into the sunlight and began patting his back.

My first memory is my 4 year old self playing with worms in the front yard. So the baby prince probably won’t remember this. But if he did remember this time when he was older, would the prince remember Jurgel who used to sing to him often while holding him in his arms or would he remember the Queen who fed him three times a day? And which one would be more happier memory to him? Jurgel, not haven given the birth, looked so peaceful and happy while the Queen, who did give birth, looked miserable and like someone who has already lived their life.

Am I happy? Is Sir Mio happy? I am aware that Sir Mio volunteered to become the baby prince’s escort. The King received several talented applications from the knights, and he chose the best one out of all of them. Perhaps he applied in hopes to see Jurgel, even from far away, but is his wish even fulfilled?

Over Jurgel’s shoulders, I stared at his dark eyes.

Each one of us is unhappy for our own reasons. So in order to not look at our miseries, we set small goals and run to them with our head down.

My first goal is to give a name to the baby prince. How does it make sense for the prince to not have a name for a month now? Am I the only one finding this weird? The prince should have a name before they bring in another person to take care of him.

Epilogue————————————

Quest: Get a name and a doctor.

I also don’t have any parenting knowledge so this is hard. (*insert crying face*)

I was originally great at short term goals. If I set my average SAT score goal to the next level, I would have achieved it. Well I hated learning English, and I hate having to learn something new right now, and I hate the fact that it was English that would have improved my SAT score. I had to tell myself repeatedly to stay motivated.

Like right now.

“Mr. Jurgel, it seems like you really like the child.”

“Really? Does it seem like that?”

“Yes, sir. You have been singing to the baby.”

Jurgel smiled like a flower.

Ellie took a step away from me. Her expression probably was like one watching someone eat some dog poop found on the ground. It’s okay. The only thing distinguishing the truth from a lie was a sheet of facial expression, and there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do to live.

On top of that, it’s not like I said anything false. I can see how much a person likes a person from their actions and I was just saying it. It was not hurting anyone. Sometimes I went outside without washing my hair for more than three days, but when I went to see someone I really liked and loved, I was in a hurry to go to the beauty salon and pay to get my hair shampooed.

So no matter what intentions Jurgel has, I believe there is some kind of love Jurgel has to constantly visiting the baby prince.

“I really like you. I’m glad you are the nanny.”

I laughed obediently.

“My name is Ahsee Token, Mr. Jurgel.”

“Ahsee Token. I will remember that this time.”

“Thank you.”

The King is a son of a bitch and Jurgel is also a shitbag. Jurgel has heard of my name at least 3 times and he did not remember once. He personally asked twice and once was when the King asked and he was right next to him. This was the fourth time.

“It’s a good thing the baby is calm.”

“You are right. I think he has Evans’ personality.”

Ellie, not able to manage her face expression, took one step farther and the angle I was looking at Sir Mio from between Jurgel’s shoulder and neck went up and down.

Jurgel is the only person who calls the King by his name- Evans. Of course the King probably gave Jurgel permission to call him his name, but for everyone else listening to Jurgel call the King, Evans, we have to bow down. Even the Queen. I am not sure how precious the name is.

“Do you and the King call the baby, baby?”

“What else would we call the baby?”

Laughing, Jurgel asked again while tilting his head. His smile was as pretty as a white flower that just bloomed in the lake.

“I was just wondering if you guys called the prince the same name that we do.”

Jurgel still had a beautiful face, but it stung my heart a little. Thoughts weaken me. If I think, I hesitate, and when I hesitate I doubt. So when I have to say something I try to say it before I overthink, but I think I spoke too fast for my brain this time.

Did he catch on? Is my intention too obvious?

Jurgel’s fingers touched the closed window. As if it was waiting, as soon as he opened the window, warm wind gushed through. The wind blew Jurgel’s blonde hair as well as Sir Mio’s, who was watching Jurgel. Ellie strapped the ribbon on her hat tighter and I held down my dress.

Jurgel was singing. With one hand he cupped over the prince’s ear and lowered his voice so the song he was humming turned into a song with lyrics.

The voice of Jurgel when singing was a beautiful voice with a higher, richer sound than when he spoke. It was not a voice of a singer or a professional, but somewhat similar. His voice felt like a soft blanket that one would put on before they go to sleep. There is usually a peak point in a slow song, but at the peak, Jurgel gave the baby a kiss on the forehead and put him back in the cradle.

“Ahsee.”

“Yes, Mr. Jurgel.”

“If you need anything for the baby, let me know.”

I am a woman who doesn’t know how to refuse.

“The baby prince’s name and a doctor.”

Jurgel already read my intentions. I can pretend to be sloppy and try again next time and wait for the right timing, but I know my will and courage will disappear first while waiting for it.

“I did not think you were going to say that.”

“Didn’t you just tell me I could?”

“I didn’t think you were actually going to say anything.”

I looked at the ground again as I heard him say ‘I saw you again, Ahsee-’ Yes, I am a woman of character. I am full of surprises that you will never get bored of my unique character like a reality show.

“However, the baby’s name is up to his parents. It’s something the Queen and King should do.”

I was shocked! For such logical statement to come out of Jurgel? It is common sense that the parents do name the babies, but there are times that other people like nannies and other caretakers pitch in ideas, but I never thought that Jurgel thought like that.

“And the doctor…”

He looked down and stared at the sleeping baby prince in the cradle. Due to that, my eyes met with Sir Mio’s, who was behind Jurgel. That was weird. I wonder why he is depressed right now.

“Would the Queen easily accept a doctor I send?”

“There is no mother who would not be happy for the sake of their children.”

“It seems like you don’t know the alertness of mothers with young children.”

Jurgel put out his hand to stroke the baby prince’s round and soft cheek without actually touching it. His gestor was smooth and his eyes were soft, but because of his words, I was surprised like he was going to scratch the baby with his nails. As I jumped out of startle, he looked at me and nodded.

“But you do make a point. The baby needs a lot of people to take care of him, and you are… still very young.”

To hear that from Jurgel, it felt weird. In this situation, hearing that I was young was equivalent to hearing that I was not trustworthy. I wasn’t going to argue that. A nanny job should be given to someone with greater experience. I still am scared whenever I have to hold the baby prince.

To be honest, there were times where I pondered what the King would do to me and the Queen if I ever made a mistake when taking care of the prince. Since I had to be awake all night exchanging the prince’s diaper and feeding him, I had a lot of 3am thoughts. Those are the times where thoughts are most sensitive and I even got depressed.

The King is definitely not an idiot, and not someone who would make decisions out of the whim or impulsively. So for a person like that to choose me as the nanny, he should probably have a reason.

No matter how much I try to remember, I don’t remember what happened around this time. The baby prince was born. Now a father, the King was nonchalant towards the prince while Jurgel adored baby prince. And things happened as the war ended, a lot of people returned. And then in the after party, the prince’s name was determined.

Ugh. How much longer until then? I cannot tell how long something is when I am reading about it. If I knew I would have been in this situation I would have read that book line by line and memorized everything like I was taking the SAT.

I took a quick scan around. Ellie was already far away and Sir Mio was already distanced away, standing like a displayed flower in the room. The maids and knights Jurgel brought could not enter the room, so if we spoke quietly enough, no one would hear.

Mr. Jurgel, I said in a low voice and he tilted his head a little for me.

“Do you really call the baby, the baby when you are with the King?”

Once he heard me, Jurgel took a half step away from me. He looked at me slowly with his dark, black eyes. The door was still wide open and Jurgel had a knife on his waist. The knights were right outside with swords in their hands. They watched our every move. He waved at one of them that he was leaving. Seems like he is not going to answer my question.

“I will talk about a doctor to the King. Babies are pretty fragile.”

Heck yes. Got a doctor.

As he stood right in front of me, his sight was set maybe a palm length or higher than me. It seemed like he was in a pretty good mood. I always thought he was always in a happy and good mood, but this feeling was weirdly different. It was more like an excitement in his eyes that made it seem like the shining sea.

“I will tell you one secret.”

I smelled something good. His breathe came near my ears and Jurgel’s hair, up on his tall neck and collarbone, tickled over me.

As if he was telling me a deep, dark secret, Jurgel said something that I would have never thought, in a soft, quiet voice.

“Evans actually really likes his son.”

Epilogue————————————————————–

Thanks to those who helped with the lack of parenting knowledge. I make sure to save them. I feel like the world has evolved to the point that there has been great baby formulas that there is no need for breastfeeding anymore. Lolllll. I also think that the Queen is someone who lacks breastfeeding. Lmaooooo. I apologize my lady.