Sweet CEO’s First Love - Chapter 71

TO MY DARLING READERS:

I am sorry this chapter is late today. It was supposed to come out at 10am today but I had trouble finishing writing it.

It was very hard for me to write it so I struggled through it. I hope people can understand it is always hard to say “goodnight” to someone, If losing a pet or a loved one triggers you I ask you for your own sake to please skip this chapter. I honestly have lost a few pets in my time and one of them, (my dog) died from cancer he was 14 and I was 20 and a newly single mom. So writing this was, well, it was very rough, and this made me sob like a little baby.

I know books are not real and are worlds we escape into, creations of our wildest imagination, but sometimes the emotions we put into them are very real and bring us back to the world we are grounded in just like this chapter. I know some people might say then why did you do it? You could have chosen to let her live. You are the writer after all.

But there comes a time in the natural span of a story when bad things happen to people. Everyone’s life in real life isn’t perfect and so loss, anger, resentment, and misunderstandings occur. I like to keep my stories relatable and the emotions real and understandable. So even in a fantasy story like this one it is still grounded in something familiar to the readers. That way they can still relate to the experiences the characters go through.

There will always be those fantastical moments that will never happen in real life., or are unlikely to happen in real life. (cough cough *looking at you first class plane trip without a bag, having hundred of thousands of dollars but no hotel. Or best yet, walking up to a stranger and zipping up their zipper for them.) But sometimes for us all to have a second we can relate to there are moments like these in the book. Moments that define and impact our characters moving forward.

Just like in real life. Heart was kinda slammed with too much at once. If you ever have had that happen to you. You will understand just how overwhelmed he is feeling right now.

I hope you guys will still read the chapter below. However, if you don’t I will also understand too.

~Kat

**WARNING** *Scene below may trigger some people.*

Heart’s eyes went wide.

“Num, has what?”

Heart fell backward, and Saint rushed to support him so that Min wouldn’t have too. Min gasped, and Tee rushed to her side to hold her tightly.

“Is it really painful? Is there no cure?”

“But you can fix it? You can help her right?” Heart asked, sniffling.

“Num is a sassy queen, she is a fighter.” Tone agreed.

“I don’t.” Doctor Park started saying but stopped.

“See it is a tumor that latches into the bone marrow. It’s a very aggressive kind of disease and hard to notice because it is difficult to catch in regular testing for cats. Without us knowing her genetic background, there was no way for us to know she would need specific further testing to find such disease.”

“This cancer is normally tested for with fluorescent antibody test. Without knowing she needed this special test ordered, there really was no way for us to do advance screening for it. But because she showed signs of a tumor outwardly now, I ran the test for her, and her FeLV was positive. After, testing positive like this. It is very rare. or hard to say that she will pull through it.”

“But, calico cats are very stubborn. However, cats that have gotten this test before… Normally despite blood transfusions and chemotherapy.”

The doctor paused.

“They didn’t survive, and those were younger cats that had the tumors discovered earlier because their owners knew what to look for.”

“It might be best if you… If she stays, she will only be in pain. Heart.”

His brain could barely wrap around what he was hearing.

‘Num… You can’t go.. You just can’t.’

“Heart, you found her as an adult in the alley near your house. Do you remember what I said to you guys when you first brought her to me to get a check-up?” Dr. Park Gwangjin asked softly.

Heart paused, and Min sniffled, wiping away a couple tears.

“You said she was probably four or five years old, but that it was just a guess at the time.”

“Mmhm. That’s right. That was thirteen years ago, calico’s like Num normally live on average to sixteen years of age.”

“She is old and has been slowing down lately. You guys even told me last June that she was starting to leave the house less and less. She was staying with her family spending more time with you guys before it was time.”

Saint walked Heart over to the only two-seater couch in the lounge of the room. Nine had been sitting in it before but had vacated it the moment he had seen Saint walking Heart over.

All the chairs in the office were taken by his friends, leaving only the spot beside Heart left for Saint to sit down on. Saint went to help him sit down, but he slumped into the couch on his own, his legs giving out and not letting him stand anymore.

“I..”

“No, she can’t.” Heart repeated numbly.

Park Gwangjin pat Min on the shoulder very softly.

“She is old, and she is hurting, it’s time to say goodbye.”

Min nodded, crying, and watching Heart. Heart stared at her mindlessly, and even though he sat in a room filled with all the people who cared about him, he felt dark and empty.

He wasn’t alone, but he was losing something so precious.

“Tell me when you are ready to say goodbye to her and if you want to be in the room for it. Some people can’t handle it, some people can. Either way, you should say goodbye. I am sure she is feeling tired and missing you guys terribly.”

Dr. Park Gwangjin turned away and started to head for the back.

“Doctor Park.” Heart said quietly, he stopped and turned back around to look at him.

“Could she have been saved if… if I.” Heart choked on a sob that clung to the back of his throat heavily.

“Could you save her if she had been found earlier?”

“If I had seen that she was sick… If I had been home more.”

Min rushed over to Heart and sat on the arm of the chair next to him. Heart saw her balancing precariously on the edge and moved over to make room for her. She squeezed in beside him and threw her arms around him tightly.

Before she could say anything, she looked up and smiled.

“Please, please, don’t think that Heart.” Tone said, bending down in front of Heart and taking his hand. Tone pet him gently as he pleaded with his friend that his friend would not take this so harshly.

“The doctor said that it’s genetic. Num is a stray, you can’t blame yourself for not knowing her genetics.” Kit said.

“That there would have been no way to know she was susceptible to such an aggressive tumor since she was a stray,” High said. His voice was gentle and soothing.

Heart looked up to see his friends had all squished in around him, and he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.

A huge sense of anger at himself for losing out on her final days, her final time. For not noticing, for not being there for his furry friend who had been with him through everything.

“I can’t say goodbye. I can’t see her, I feel like I am drowning.” Heart sobbed.

“You had a wonderful life together. You should look back at all the happiness you gave her at all the love you surrounded her with.”

“You might be thinking she saved you in that alley that day. That she made your life better. But you also did the same for her Heart. You took her out of that back alley, dirty, and with no food or a place to go. And you gave her a home, you gave her everything she could ever ask for and more.”

“But most importantly, you filled her world with love.”

“As much love as you could, and she gave you back just as much.”

“You have to not think about how much it hurts. But what you can do for her now, to help her feel at peace. To make her feel that love as you say goodbye.”

“You have to say goodbye to her Heart,” Min whispered.

“You have to say it because if you don’t say goodbye to her now. You will regret it forever.”

“You can be brave for Num.”

Heart nodded. But his body was vibrating, the intense feeling of numbness had set in, in his hands and face, and he was aware he was crying, only because his cheeks were wet. But the sobs were silent and constant. Like a leaky faucet, he couldn’t shut off. His sorrow marred his face with streaks of his own regret.

Saint helped him stand back up, and for the first time since he had walked through the door, Heart turned to look at him.

Saint’s face was crumpled in almost a mirrored reflection of Min’s pain, sorrow, worry, and heartbreak. Exhaustion of emotions that flitted across their tired faces as their Hearts ached desperately for him.

He wanted to reassure them that he was okay. That everything would be fine, and they didn’t need to worry so much. But his heart was broken, and he couldn’t even come up with the energy to lie adequately enough to suffice the situation.

Min took his hand from Saint and smiled at him softly.

“Do you want me to come back there with you?” Saint asked very gently.

His voice was the softest and sweetest Heart had ever heard in all their time of knowing each other.

Herat nodded his head no and instead looped his arm into his sisters. He turned away from Saint, unsure what to say or do with his lover right now.

Everything ached so horribly he felt like he was on the cusp of his sanity.

Heart walked down the hall to the back room he had left Min in only an hour or two ago when he had first brought her. But this time heading to the room, he remembered how earlier on today he had nervously panicked, stressing and worrying about how nothing could make this day get any worse. That nothing could be worse than the feeling he had at that moment.

But that wasn’t the case, heading back now he felt ten times worse than when he had first stepped foot into this place earlier.

He walked into the room and could hardly catch his breath, the pain hit his chest like a nail in the coffin when he saw Num. She looked so still and lifeless already it broke his heart to see it.

Heart reached out tentatively. Each of his fingers shook with sorrow, and he sucked in a whimper of pain as his body lurched the moment his fingers touched her soft orange fur. Heart was aware he was being held tightly by Min, but couldn’t shake out the sense of his body being detached from itself.

“Hello, girl.” He said softly.

“You are so brave and wonderful. Thank you for everything Num, Num.” Heart sniffled.

“Thank you for our beautiful life together.” Heart saw Min nod out of the corner of his eye and watched as Dr. Park approached Num.

He wanted to run away. He wanted to escape from what he knew was coming. But Num needed him. Num mewed softly, and Heart could feel how slow and calm she had become, he could feel the tiredness in her body. She didn’t feel like herself at all.

Dr. Park had been right. She wanted to go. She lifted her head and licked Hearts fingers, sniffing the air and nuzzling his hand weakly before dropping her head down exhausted.

Heart gasped and whimpered.

“Thank you, girl. Thank you.”

“For snuggling me tightly, for keeping me warm. For the love and strength, you gave me when I wasn’t strong enough on my own. You will be in my memories forever. You imprinted on my life, on my heart and became my best friend.”

“Goodnight sweetie, I will see you again someday.” Heart choked out the last words, losing it and breaking down. He felt her last breath release and ran from the room. The world blurred by him through his shower of tears, and he didn’t stop running until he was outside the building and gulping for air.

“I’m sorry Num.” he gasped, falling to the ground.

“I’m sorry.”