Taking Care of My Husband in a Tragic Novel - Chapter 28

As if surprised by my words, his eyes widened for a moment, his lips parted slightly.

“What?”

And even though he must have heard it correctly, he asked me again.

“We will continue to be together in the future. So don’t worry now.”

After saying that, I got up and held him into my arms. When I hugged him, Bleon was stunned because he couldn’t understand the situation, so he kept his body upright and quietly received my embrace. Then, quickly, he grabbed my waist tightly and dug deeper into my arms.

“Wife…”

Bleon’s voice trembled slightly.

“My wife is really nice…”

At his cute and lovely confession, a heartwarming laughter leaked out. While holding him with a smile on my lips, Bleon suddenly pulled away from and met my eyes. But his eyes were burning fiercely.

“So… You mean you’ll never leave me? Right?”

“Yes.”

“You won’t leave until you die, or even after you die, will you?”

Bleon kept asking me to confirm as if he still couldn’t believe it. But, how can I not leave even after I die? When I die, it’s all over…

I tilted my head slightly as I wondered whether that would be so important, and I answered in an affirmative way because I was afraid that my sincerity that I just uttered would fade if I said otherwise.

“Yes, I’ll stay. So, let’s get rid of our anxiety now.”

“Haa… I’ll try.”

Bleon sighed deeply in relief and pulled me back into his arms again.

“You remember what I told you after I was sick for a week?”

“Yes…”

“At that time, I was thinking of leaving you because of all my guilt. I felt so sorry towards you.”

For a moment, I felt Bleon hugging me tighter. Perhaps it was because I mentioned leaving. I hurriedly continued with the next words.

“Of course, I still feel sorry towards you. It will probably not go away for the rest of my life, and I will never forget it.”

“…Don’t do that.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t want my wife to feel guilty or sorry for me.”

“But…”

Anyway, Astell did so many things. How can I erase those feelings? Although it wasn’t what I did, now that I’m Astell, it’s meaningless to point and ask who did it. And as Astell, I should continue to apologize to him and ask for forgiveness.

In order for our relationship to be stronger than it was now, I thought that it would be better to face the wounds and let it heal and grow new flesh over it—rather than pretending to ignore the wounds and turning a blind eye.

“I don’t like things like this that occupy a part of Wife’s heart. I want Wife to have only love for me. So just love me. Please.”

I can’t believe he doesn’t want Astell to even make room for pity and guilt towards him…

Will I ever be able to understand how Bleon feels for Astell? I suddenly thought that from the point of view of the person asking for forgiveness. When the person who was in the position to forgive was talking like this, the thought crossed my mind that Bleon was spitting out things that he didn’t want to, just to make me comfortable.

‘He doesn’t like it, so should I stop?’

Okay. Let’s brush it off. Let go of the past and focus on the present now.

Every time I see Bleon acting withdrawn or scrutinizing me, I’ll feel like I’ve made him that way again, but I thought I’d better end it directly by apologizing, or to erase my apology to him.

“If you think so, I will try harder in the future.”

“Thank you, Wife…”

“No, I’m more grateful. Why is my husband so kind?”

It was a bit strange to describe Bleon’s behavior with kind words, but anyway, there must be a good heart in him to ease another person’s uncomfortable feelings. I barely pulled my arms out of Bleon and wrapped them around his broad back. And like a habit, I patted Bleon’s large body.

“I am kind…?”

“Yes, you’re kind.”

“…If I am kind, I should be rewarded…”

“Huh?”

“…That’s what Wife said. If I do good, I’ll be rewarded. And if I do bad, I will be punished…”

“Did… I?”

Maybe?

Fortunately, I wasn’t facing Bleon, so he didn’t notice how flustered I was at that moment. I quickly skimmed my memories. Now that I have searched for these memories a few times, I was able to easily find what I needed.

‘Bleon.’

Astell looked down at him, calling out Bleon’s name harshly. He was still a young child, not yet reaching Astell’s shoulders.

‘If you do good deeds, you will be rewarded, and if you do bad deeds, you will be punished. Do you understand?’

With those words, Astell constantly listed things that Bleon should not do, and Bleon nodded, concentrating on only Astell. After returning to the present, I opened my mouth.

“That was when you were young.”

I can’t believe he was told that he needed to do good deeds to get rewarded when he was that young…

How can this kid really be so pure? He remembered the words I said when he was a child, but those words were spoken in order to abuse him under the guise of discipline. And yet, it was brought up in this way.

‘Your body is already this big…’

Although his clothes were blocking his way, I could clearly feel his chiseled back under the palm of my hand.

‘More than that, what is hidden under these clothes… ‘

Oh, I remembered it again. The dream was so intense and vivid that whenever I had a chance, the contents of the dream kept scattered in my head.

‘Let’s not think about it. Let’s not think about it.’

Please don’t think about it. Why do I have to dream like that and keep bothering myself?

I swear I’ve never thought of it like that against Bleon. Of course, when I first met him I saw it, and it was the same when he had to strip for his treatment with Philia. The thought crossed my mind that I wanted to touch him, but it was the same feeling as wanting to touch Bleon because of his pretty face. I’ve never thought of doing something like that in my dreams, nor have I ever dreamed of doing it with him.

‘Get yourself together.’

I closed my eyes tightly and opened them again, clearing my mind.

“Yes. When I was a kid… So…”

Bleon seemed to have more things to say, so I waited for him. And while I was thinking that Bleon was still a long way from becoming an adult, he whispered in my ear with words that betrayed my expectations.

“I have to get adult rewards now that I’m an adult…? Wife…?”

Adult…?

As soon as I instantly understood what Bleon meant, my body immediately tensed up. Because of that, I let out a long exhale, realizing that I had stopped breathing for a moment. And for a moment, it was ridiculous, so I laughed a little.

Pure?

For a moment, I thought he was pure, someone who was thinking like him was pure. I wanted to hit my head.

Well, as I reflect on the past days with him, Bleon has been constantly doing things that have a sexual meaning to me. It would have been better if this kid hadn’t yet known about such a relationship between a man and a woman, but Bleon in my memory learned a lot from Astell and did better than he learned.

‘What should I do?’

With the decision to accept Bleon, this problem was no longer unavoidable. But Bleon obviously won’t force me if I don’t want to. I could be sure of that. He has been earnestly pleading for his body not to move according to his will and the desire to touch me, but nevertheless, he never touched me unless my permission was given.

Perhaps today, if I say no, he will step down. But as he noticed what I was thinking, Bleon began to gently caress my back.

“Wife…”

His voice seemed to have grown even deeper than before.

“Aren’t you going to give me a reward?”

“…What reward would you like to receive?”

“Anything my wife gives is good. I like everything…”

Bleon took a long breath. Perhaps he seemed to be waiting for me to notice first and be willing to speak, even if he didn’t say anything. When it caught my eye that he was more nervous than me, I suddenly felt a little mischievous. The corners of my lips tugged up slightly, and I opened my mouth.

“Do you really like everything I give you?”

“…Yes. But…”

“But?”

“No… I like everything. Haa…”