Taming the Queen of Beasts - Chapter 394

GAR

There was no time. The others might be pursuing them, though he prayed they either couldn’t, or wouldn’t in the dark.

Tarkyn was also out here somewhere. If he caught her scent…

But she was falling apart, trembling in his arms like a leaf in the wind, and he couldn’t focus on anything else.

He’d seen her panic before. Seen fury overtake fear in her. And that first time they’d met, she’d even suspected him. But nothing like this.

Seeing him fight for her had triggered something in her.

He’d seen it before, though not quite so badly. Disformed who came from families who couldn’t love someone different. Friends who’d been harmed by the very Anima that should have loved them most.

And he’d felt his own fear, waiting for the hammer to drop from his father, certain at different times in his life that he was on the verge of being rejected by his own family. Yet, it had never come.

In truth, he’d come to assume his acceptance within his own pride—reluctant thought it might be.

While his parents—or his father, anyway—might not love him as much as they loved his sister. His sight was keen. He knew he’d been blessed, provided for in ways, and receiving wisdom many did not. Just in these last few days he’d thought… was it possible he and his father might find some common ground?

So he thought he knew at least the seed of this pain and fear in her. But he hadn’t realized… the panic on her face when he’d put her down. The abject terror when she looked at him.

He never wanted her to look at him that way again. Ever.

When she finally relaxed into his shoulder, crying quietly, he wrapped an arm around her back and stroked her hair, leaving her face clear because she’d been having such trouble breathing. He felt helpless and stupid, staring at her and combing her hair with his fingers, but he didn’t know what else to do.

Her entire body shook, and even though she didn’t seem as frightened now as she was minutes earlier, she also wasn’t truly relaxed.

“Tell me,” he breathed into her hair. “What did he do to you?” The urge was there to offer to kill the male, to end his life so she need never fear him again. But he hesitated. Suspected that might only make this worse.

She needed to remember his care for her, not his aggression.

She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter,” she said, sniffing, and burying her face in her hands.

“It matters, Rika. It matters a lot. To me.”

“Why?” she wailed quietly. “Why does it matter to you, Gar? You’ve known me a month! Why does it matter?”

“Because you matter,” he said simply, using one finger to pull away a strand of hair that had stuck to the tears on her cheek.

She opened her eyes then and met his, shaking her head.

“What?” he asked quietly.

“You make no sense to me,” she answered. “I can’t… I can’t believe that you’re real.”

Gar raised his eyebrows. “You think a… a ghost holds you right now?”

She gave him a flat look, but her heart was still beating too quickly and her fingers trembled. “No,” she said firmly. “I’m worried that a con man holds me. Or a liar. Or… something. I don’t know. I don’t know!”

She dropped her face in her hands again and he could smell the salt of her tears.

“Rika,” he murmured a moment later, “Pretty soon we’re going to have to get moving. Because it really is my goal to keep you safe, and there is danger on both sides—from my people, and from yours. I’m not going to risk your life. But I want you to know, everything you see in me, everything I have, I would never use it against you. I would never use it to make you small, or hurt you. I swear, I will always stand in defense of you. Not against you.”

Rika gave a massive sigh, her shoulders rising and falling with the breath. When she looked up again, her eyes were pleading. “The problem is, words are cheap, Gar,” she said, fingering a strand of her own hair. “I’ve heard that from men before. And it always goes bad. Always.”

“Then you’ve been listening to the wrong males,” Gar growled.

Sitting up straighter, he had a flash of inspiration. Reaching behind him where he’d placed the gun carefully on the dirt, he picked  it up. She flinched when she saw it in his hands, but he opened his palm, offering it to her.

She looked up at him, her eyes wide.

“Take it,” he said. “I was going to bury it so they couldn’t find it, but… take it, Rika. My strength means nothing against this, I know. Take it and be certain, I will never, ever harm you. If I do, you can use that against me.”

She bit her lip, looking at it. Tempted. But then she shook her head. Still staring at it, she whispered, “I could never use that on you.”

Gar’s heart sped up, hope and fear fighting for dominance within him.

Then Rika swallowed and pushed his hand away, not taking the gun from his thick palm.

“I’ll probably regret this,” she said without meeting his eyes. “But I don’t… I don’t want to have that kind of power over you. And I don’t want you to have that kind of power over me.”

He would have responded, but she was suddenly pushing out of his arms—not in panic, thank the Creator. She got to her feet, still shaking, then reached down and picked up the gun.

Turning it on its side she made something click, then turned it upside down so two or three small metal bullets fell into her palm.

Then, looking around, she disappeared into the trees, towards the sound of water.

A moment later he heard a splash, then her footsteps returning. She walked to stand at his knee and offered him the bullets. “That isn’t dangerous without these. But these could still hurt someone if they were hit with a rock or… or anything.”

Surprised, he took them from her and put them in the pocket of his leathers. Then he got to his feet.

When he stood over her, he saw her flinch, but she didn’t step back. He waited a moment until she wasn’t leaning away from him anymore, then he offered his hand again.

“Anytime you need reassurance, you tell me… tell me you can’t breathe. I will put anything in your hands that gives you the power, Rika. Just to prove to you that you can have it.”

She stared up at him for a long moment, but didn’t reply.. After another sigh she shook her head, then took his hand and together they turned deeper into the woods.