Teisou Gyakuten Sekai no Doutei Henkyou Ryoushu Kishi - Chapter 8

8. The Second Princess’ Guard Commander, Zabine

“Therefore, please give money to go to the brothel out of your annual expenses, Valliere-sama.”

“You monkey. No, it’s rude to the monkey.”

Kingdom of Anhalt, the royal palace.

In the private room reserved for the Second Princess, Valliere cursed her guard commander.

Yes, once again, the other party was the captain of the guards―― the knights who acted as the guards of Valliere.

The commander of the guards was pleading to the second princess, to have all members of the guards go to the brothel.

“This is a necessary expense! Valliere-sama, this is a necessary expense… an expense that cannot be avoided!!”

“Tell me, what kind of thinking process you have that I can use to write the document to the finance bureaucrats for making them give me the necessary expenses to let you all go to the brothel, you damn chimpanzees!!!”

It had been like this all along.

Since the age of 10, the Second Princess Valliere had many stomachaches as if it was natural, it started to occur after she was given the guards by her mother――Queen Rezenlotte.

Chimpanzees.

An anthropoid ape classified in the genus Pan, family Hominidae, and class Mammalia.

If Faust, the counselor of the Second Princess, was here, he would have muttered that, but unfortunately, he wasn’t here.

In truth, if that male knight was nearby, the guard commander probably wouldn’t have made such a ridiculous plea.

If only he’s here…

Well, he would have still complained.

After all, these guys are a bunch of chimpanzees.

Gasping for air, The Second Princess Valliere shrieked with disgust.

“So, tell me, I bet you can give me some reason, right? Now, tell me.”

“Your Highness Valliere, the Second Princess, I am very sorry to make such a plea, and I am truly ashamed of my incompetence—”

The one making a plea since a while ago was Zabine, the Commander of Valliere’s guards.

Wait, do chimpanzees really need names?

They probably don’t need it anymore, but…

Even as Valliere thought about the fact that the Second Princess didn’t have the authority to strip anyone’s name.

Thus, Valliere decided to listen silently to the continuation of Zabine’s remarks.

For some reason, Zabine seemed to misunderstand Valliere’s hurried remarks as if her pleas were being heard, and cried out with sparkling eyes.

“But, the 15 members of the Second Princess Guard have all turned out to be virgins!”

“Who cares!”

Valliere answered with a pain in her stomach.

She didn’t care about all of this.

Really, didn’t care.

But, deep down, she envied her elder sister.

First Princess Anastasia’s guards were also made up of the second and third daughters of military nobles.

However, they weren’t a group of chimpanzees, rather they were elites who had enlisted in the Imperial Guard with hopes of a bright future from their homes.

When her sister became queen, they would even be allowed to have a new house as a hereditary knight.

There were 30 members of the First Princess Guard.

On the other hand, the number of members of the Second Princess Guard was 15.

It was blatant discrimination.

Well, she didn’t want the number of chimpanzees to increase. So, that was fine.

Why did dear mother, give me this group of chimpanzees?

Am I that unpleasant for her?

It wasn’t unreasonable for Valliere to think so.

“Your Highness Valiere’s first campaign is soon, right!?”

“What does it have something to do with you guys being virgins? You damn idiots!!”

Valliere cried so.

Shaking her shoulders, she stood up from the chair and shouted from the bottom of her heart.

In response, Zabine replied.

“It’s too futile for a knight to die in the first battle as a virgin. Do you understand this empty feeling in our hearts? Right, because we’re still a virgin! So, let’s cut and throw it away. At the ceremony before the first campaign yesterday, everyone discussed and decided on this petition.”

“……”

Valliere was tired of screaming.

So, she sat down on the chair.

That’s it.

They’re really stupid, this girl and others. All of them.

I know.

That I’m just a spare.

Only genuine idiots who were abandoned by their house like this that was given to me…

With a somewhat vain smile, Valliere mocked herself.

Then, she whispered.

“……I’m, a virgin too.”

“Oh, then!”

Zabine opened her glittering eyes wide as if they were filled with stars.

And shouted out.

“Let’s go together! To the brothel!”

“No way, you idiot!”

Valliere finally couldn’t take it any longer, stood up from her chair, and grabbed Zabine by the neck.

Then shook Zabine’s head and told her clearly.

“A place like a brothel, go with your own money! With your own money, do you hear me?”

“W-we, all members of the Second Princess Guard, including myself, the Commander, are all first-generation knights, the lowest rank as nobles. We only get enough support to live on. We don’t have money to go to an expensive brothel that pays attention to venereal diseases…”

“I know you guys don’t have money. But, even so, you’re still a knight! You’re all of blue blood, right!? I wouldn’t go so far as to ask you to go to seduce the apprentices presented to the imperial court from each territory, but wouldn’t it be possible for you to seduce at least a single commoner boy?”

Valliere thought that her vocal cords were going to break.

She had to worry about losing her voice this time on top of having stomachache.

“We are knights! We are of blue blood. As blue blood, we could never allow it to mix with those of commoners!”

“But, a male prostitute is okay?”

“Because male prostitution is just a profession!”

Such a one-night stand relationship.

I don’t want it.

Valliere let go of Zabine’s collar and covered her face with both hands.

She wanted to cry like a child.

“Then, that. Look, umm… what to say…”

What should I say…

It’s confusing because they, though stupid, as a bunch of pervert knights, they sure have pride left.

Damn you bunch of chimpanzees…

Valliere cursed in her mind and looked at the blank-faced Zabine through the gaps between her fingers covering her face.

Then she spoke from the bottom of his heart.

“Stay virgins and die in your first battle.”

If only they had such pride, Valliere would have been more grateful.

“Why, how could you say such a heartless word!?”

Zabine was astonished.

She looked as if she had never heard such cruel words.

Huh? In the four years since you guys became my guards, I think I’ve said a lot of similar things?

Really, die already

No, please die.

Faust alone is enough as my aide.

These four years were such horrendous four years that only caused the Second Princess Valliere to have a stomachache, to even had such thoughts.

Valliere then thought.

Faust’s squire commander, Helga, she’s definitely more capable than this knight, isn’t she?

In the first place, did this girl really receive a proper knight education?

She didn’t abandon her education, right?

No, doesn’t seem so.

But, this is so troublesome. The idiots were thrown away in the abandoned mountain called the Second Princess’s Guard.

Wait, isn’t there still a possibility that they were actually chimpanzees picked up at some mountain?

Valliere doubted her guards truly had blue blood, no, even their origins as human beings were looking doubtful. But, she then concluded…

“No, even chimpanzees are smarter.”

Valliere decided to believe in chimpanzee intelligence.

15 chimpanzees prostrate in front of her, crying “uhu aha.”

Would be still better than this reality.

Uhh, my stomach hurts.

“Your Highness Valliere, the Second Princess, please, please do not abandon us. We’ve been abandoned by our houses, so please…”

Zabine clung to Valliere’s feet.

Loyalty to the royal family wasn’t what connected Zabine, the Guard Commander and Valliere, the Second Princess.

Both were unwanted children.

Needless child.

It was sympathy that connected them.

That was why Valliere didn’t abandon Zabine and the other Hominidae Chimpanzees.

But Valliere had already been at the limit.

―― in the first place, isn’t this girl misunderstanding something?

Even though it’s the first campaign, the opponents are just bandits.

Valliere opened her mouth to persuade Zabine.

“In the first place, there’s no need to think about death in my first campaign. The one in our support is none other than the counselor, Faust. He had cut off the heads of more than 100 bandits, and killed many barbarians, even the Knight Captain Reckenbell, in the Willendorf battle. He’s the ‘Knight of Wrath’, that’s rumored to be the strongest knight in our country, you know!”

That was all correct.

The Counselor of the Second Princess Valliere.

Was none other than, the ’Knight of Wrath’, Faust von Polydro.

As long as that man was by her side, Valliere didn’t even need to think about the possibility of her dying.

Even Queen Rezenlotte and even First Princess Anastasia probably wouldn’t have expected all of this.

“If you have time to think about the possibility of dying, hone your sword skills!”

“Right, there’s Sir Polydro!”

‘Airhead’ Zabine clapped her hands with the feeling that she just remembered that.

Haaa, here it comes again, she’ll soon say something stupid, damn chimpanzee.

I know you will.

After all, I’ve 4 years of experience in this.

That was what Valliere thought.

“Let’s ask Sir Polydro to take care of the fifteen of us virgins. Ah, also Your Highness Valliere too――”

Then, Valliere silently hit the vase that was placed by her side on Zabine’s head.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

“Huff, so what about the injury of the Guard Commander, Zabine?”

“It’s serious. It’s a serious head injury.”

Kingdom of Anhalt, the royal palace.

Faust scratched his head in a room reserved exclusively for the Second Princess Valliere.

“I wanted to have a meeting for the first campaign, but ―― well, it can’t be helped if she has a serious head injury. Will it be in time for the first campaign?”

“I’ll make her recover in time. But, for now, she can’t join the meeting. So, today’s meeting will be only among us.”

“Understood”

I bow my head, then sit on the chair that Helga, the Squire Commander, pulled out for me.

Then, I looked at the map of the Anhalt Kingdom on the table.

“According to the report of the magistrate dispatched to a small village with about 100 residents, the number of bandits is approximately, about 30.”

“For 30 opponents, 20 from my territory and 15 from the Second Princess Guard will do the trick. To be honest, to 100% make sure it’ll end with no problem, double of the number is the best.”

“Although it was under my elder sister’s command, Faust, you had repelled the multiple Willendorf barbarians. And still, you’re saying that?”

While scratching my head again, I lightly muttered.

“That battle was dangerous….”

If I hadn’t killed the Knight Captain Reckenbell, we would have lost.

To be honest, I don’t want to experience it again.

I shook my head, forgot the past, and brought my mind back to reality.

“There is no such thing as a certain victory in this world. And if I could, I would want the people living in that village to be evacuated first ――”

“They’re already loitering around the village and attacking traveling entertainers and merchants. We don’t have time for that.”

“If so, there’s nothing we can do about it.”

I gave up on further mobilization of the people.

After all, this world was full of things that couldn’t be helped.

And to be honest, I had the confidence that I could manage even 30 bandits myself.

That fighting power and my red face in a battle would be the reasons for the nickname “Knight of Wrath”, but the red face, it was―― actually, due to painful erections I had in a battle.

Anyway, it was an embarrassing nickname, but I was aware that my combat skills as a knight had already entered the stage of a superhuman.

“…Then, let’s leave in three days.”

“Yeah, I’ve finished preparing the provisions. Seems like securing water is no problem as long as we follow the road along the map.”

“Although our people are accustomed to military service, please understand that progress may be delayed due to walking.”

“… I’m ashamed, but all of my guards are on foot. We don’t have the money to prepare horses for all. Only me and Faust who will ride horses.”

The Second Princess Valliere said so while blushing.

In return, I smiled wryly.

Even though the members of the Second Princess Guard were all nobles, I knew they were all poor women of the lowest rank.

Don’t worry, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

The First Princess Guard, whom all have horses, is a rather strange case.

More than that…

“It’s been a while, I’m looking forward to meeting the members of the Second Princess Guard after a long time.”

―― I met the girls only once, it was two years ago.

The girls, whom I felt nothing other than still too young at that time, were now 18 years old, an age where they could marry.

They were a few bride candidates that I realistically could aim for now.

“Eh, yes, right. I’ll make them properly, act properly in front of Faust.”

For some reason, the Second Princess Valliere answered my words while holding her stomach with her hand.