The Abandoned Imperial Concubine - Chapter 337

I nodded, looking at his glassy stare.

Yes, I am a terrible existence to him now. Even though I did it to him while I was on drugs, he felt so horrible about the fact that I hugged him. Although we didn’t love each other deeply, we still believed that we were in love.

Well, I didn’t have to hate him. In fact, I did it to him for my own comfort rather than loving him. I did everything I could to avoid being dumped like her. I didn’t jump into his arms because I liked it. I even sold my body to him like a prostitute.

It’s a wild gamble anyway that I bet all my life on the extreme distant chance of success.

For good or evil, my gamble was a success.

Two months after that, I was told by the royal doctor that I was pregnant.

“I am having your baby. Won’t you congratulate me? ”

I smiled with my hand on my tummy although I didn’t feel swollen at all. I felt very satisfied with the anger in his indifferent eyes.

No matter how coldly you look at me, you can’t do anything to me anymore because people already know I’m pregnant with your baby. So, even if you are the emperor, you can’t dump me just because you have fallen out of love with me, who is pregnant with your successor.

You watch! I’ll never be another Tia who was killed by you in vain. Since she was such a noble woman, Tia may have tolerated it, but I will not let you use and dump me.

You know that? It is easy to take one from the one who has ten, but it is extremely difficult to take one from the one who has only one. So, you had better not think about taking anything away from me anymore. Now you have fallen out of love with me, what remained of me is just my title as the empress. I thought like that…

I believed that was enough. Even if I lost his love, I believed that as I kept the title of the empress, that was enough for me. I was so stupid, though.

While I was content with the fact that he couldn’t harm me because I was pregnant with his baby, I was faced with a greater misfortune after he, who didn’t see me at all when I was pregnant, left the capital under the pretext of leading an expedition by himself.

“Duke Jena, don’t you know how much I trusted you? How could you do it…”

Little did I think the duke would betray me.

He was the only one who took care of me even when the nobles always cast a contemptuous glance at me. It was because of what he told me when I believed that Rube loved me, and that I should accept his love for my own safety.

So, even when I finally realized that he was falling out of love with me, I even asked the duke for help…

“How foolish you are! Did you really think that I would help a vulgar woman like you when I don’t know even your family background?”

On the day I was laboring to deliver a baby, clenching my teeth, and on the day, I finally gave birth to a baby girl, burning with the hatred and revenge for him who left me coldly, I had to suffer much more than all the hardship I went through until then.

I was so weak after delivering a baby, but I had to run away on my wobbly legs.

As soon as I escaped from the secret passage that never seemed to end forever, I had to face that old man who was laughing at me contemptibly.

I had my baby taken away, then I was murdered by the very man that I trusted since I became estranged from Rube.

When I opened my eyes again, I stood in a pure white space.

<Oh, you’re my blessed child.>

For the first time I met God, and I heard from Him why I came to this place.

And I became even more upset after hearing his explanation, rather than understanding the situation.

I cursed God. Why the heck am I called the child of God’s blessing?

If I had been truly the child of God’s blessing, He should just have left me alone as an ordinary senior high school girl.

If God had really cared for me, he shouldn’t have thrown me away in a place like hell then take me here for the reason that my fate was entangled.

And if it had been inevitable for God to take me here, he should have given me the right talent, not divine power. He should have given me the type of power that could help me make up for what I had missed for the 19 years in this world and imitate Cinderella, to say the least. When I thought of that, however, I ended up being faced with a second hell.

***

I’ve had a second chance in my regained life.

I believed that if I had one more chance, I would never make that mistake again.

I vowed that I would get even with all those who hurt me.

Having prepared everything, I was confident that I could do better than her at least in this life.

However, my second life that I barely received after I vented out violent curse and anger was still a failure.

***

‘What a damned woman!”

Jiun muttered, looking at the woman who already disappeared. Aristia just left with some words after coming to see me at night.

She was really nasty until the last moment. Normally, she would be so happy about the fact that she survived. But she picked a fight with me, asking me why she saved my life, while calculating her gains and losses.

“How cold-hearted she is! Obviously, her blood must be cold.”

I chuckled. Actually there was nothing new about her attitude because she was such a woman from the beginning. Even though her life was threatened several times, she remained silent for the interests of her faction instead of running around to take revenge on her opponents. Then, she crushed them as soon as she grabbed the chance.

“Oh, I like her firm attitude like that.”

Although I could never like Aristia, I liked that firm attitude of hers. Although I’ve been waiting for a good chance to go after her for the past two years, she never let her hair down until her last moment.

Duke Jena, who tried to own the empire and might have achieved his dream, was by no means a pushover in my second life. I approached him with the purpose of competing with Aristia and ruining him after earning his trust, but he never let his guard down. Besides, he gradually isolated me within the noble faction when he could not control the emperor and Rublis as he wished. If I had not been the child of God’s prophecy, he would have abandoned me a long time ago.

But Aristia destroyed the duke all of a sudden.

I observed him up close and concluded that he was far from a pushover. But Aristia eventually overthrew him and his family. Although she and I were born with different talents, the reason we ended up having different outcomes despite our shared goal was because she was superior to me. Actually, I could not figure out why Rube left the capital, leaving me alone, Aristia seemed to quickly understand the reason after hearing about the situation a bit.

Why did I come back then?

I laughed bitterly. In the end, I didn’t win or get even with her in my confrontation with her.

Although Duke Jena was executed, it was she, not me, who made it possible. Moreover, I hadn’t yet overcome my past.

“I would rather have thought of it from the beginning…”

I mumbled with a dejected expression. I often recalled her reminder that he was definitely different from the old him in the past.

I didn’t trust her. Even though I saw him treating her kindly and even though I felt he was sincere in treating me, I could not trust what she told me.

I thought that as one’s inborn character could not be changed, he was still the same as before, and as a result, he should be punished for his crime.

But the moment I saw him wailing at her death, I stopped thinking that. The old him that I used to know would never have shown such a reaction.

Maybe that’s why I earnestly prayed that God would save her. Although I was offered the miracle of divine power, I earnestly begged God to save her, who I had been hating so much.

So, I wanted to ask her, who had the same experience as mine, how she overcame the sense of separation and empty feelings. But I didn’t ask her, after all.

“Hahaha…”

While laughing like that for a long time, I suddenly noticed a glass bottle she left behind.

I slowly raised my body and approached the table. Then I slowly reached out and held the glass bottle. Shining brightly under the moonlight, it was very cold to the touch, like her eyes looking at me.

“Did she say she didn’t want to see me die…”

Considering what she told me, it was highly likely that the bottle she left behind was poison.

Maybe she wanted me to commit suicide by taking this instead of being humiliated in the presence of everybody. I thought she might have recalled her memories before her return. It was definitely not a pleasant memory.

When I recalled how she was executed before my return, I made a bitter smile.

She fixed her golden eyes on him without casting a glance at me at all. Although she looked haggard because of her imprisonment, she was confident and elegant until her last moment.

If I didn’t drink this bottle, it was clear that I would have the same fate she did before my return. Of course, I was not sure if I could be as confident as her.

I still recalled how strongly her blood smelled, and how sharply she stared at him.

I shuddered as if I smelled the blood around me. I wasn’t confident enough to die like her. I didn’t want to die miserably in the face of those laughing scornfully at me as if I was a spectacle.

I never wanted to end my life like that.

What should I do? I tightened my grip on the bottle.

I wanted to die, but at the same time, I did not want to die. Since I lost the purpose of my return, I no longer wanted to live while I was hated in this strange world. I was sick and tired of living the kind of life that was despised and neglected by others.

But even so, I didn’t want to give up my life. Given that I returned to this world after regaining my life the hard way, I didn’t want to end my life miserably like this. Besides, I didn’t achieve anything that I wanted.

“Whew…”

When I was staring at the cold glass bottle hesitantly for a long time, I heard the tightly closed door opening.

I quickly concealed the glass bottle into the sleeve and slowly raised my head. Thanks to the torch hanging in the hallway, I could see two bright shadows standing in the bright doorway.

“…”

While examining the shadows to see if Aristia was back. I hardened my face a bit. I couldn’t figure out who they were because they stood with their backs against the lights, but they were simply too big for her shadow.

Then who the hell are they? Why did they visit me?

While I caught my breath to calm down, one of the shadows beckoned to the other gently.

After confirming the other shadow standing beside the door, I turned to the shadow coming toward me.It was clear that it was this man who came here to see her for some reason.

“Lady Jena.” His voice was chilly.

At the familiar voice echoing into my ear, I flinched while swallowing to calm down my anxiety and nervousness. Looking at her, he put the hood of his robe on the back of his head. Blue light was reflected over his robe, along with his navy blue eyes.

Why did he appear here?

My eyes trembled at his unexpected appearance. Even though I was surprised by Aristia’s visit, little did I think Rublis would come to see me. She had a reason to do so, but he didn’t need to. Moreover, all the trials on those including Duke Jena and the core members of the noble faction members were over.

Is it because I lost my attention for a moment? Something seemed to drop from my sleeve, then fell to the floor before I grabbed it. He looked at the glass bottle rolling on the fluffy carpet for a moment and said in a unique, cool voice, “It’s a transparent bottle. It’s that one as I expected.”

“… Pardon?”

“I expected she would give this bottle to you, but…oh, my head hurts.”

He was muttering something when I asked, then suddenly turned his head to look at me. While pretending to be calm, I looked at his cold eyes. I didn’t know for sure, but I felt something bad would happen if I didn’t act calmly.

How much time passed? After looking at me for a long time as if he was agonized, he asked with a sigh slowly in a subdued voice, “Lady Jena, do you know what that bottle is?”

“…”

I remained silent. Somewhere, I felt sad and irritated at the moment. What the heck was he doing to me when I had to commit suisuide soon? I felt indignant not only at Aristia who left a poison bottle behind and him who knowingly asked me what it was.

Did he read my mind? Unlike a moment ago when he seemed to treat me gently, he was now back to his cold attitude with an indifferent look.

“You don’t have to look at me like that. It is poison, but it’s not.”

“What do you mean?”

I asked, frowning my eyebrows.

What is he talking about? Does it mean that the bottle is a legendary medicine that if one drinks just a drop, it becomes a good medicine, but if one overuses it, it acts as poison? Or is it a medicine that can hold one’s breath temporarily, just like the one Juliet drank?

But Rublis remained silent with a pensive look, and said nothing. He was still silent when I asked again, just in case he didn’t hear it.

I felt irritated again, which I took pains to calm down until now, but I tried to speak to him as if it’s not a big deal. Anyway, it was me who was disadvantageous now.

“Please tell me, Your Majesty. What do you mean when you say it’s poison, but it’s not?”

“…”

“Your Majesty!”

“…”

“Would you please tell me?”

The moment he rejected my earnest request, I unwittingly lost my temper and stared at him fiercely. As I was to die anyway, I had nothing to fear.

“Are you kidding me?”

“… What did you just say? ”

“I asked if you were kidding me. Don’t you think you are so mean and cruel…Oh shucks!”

While screaming at him at the top of my voice in a fit of anger, I suddenly stopped when I felt something cold touching my neck. The man in a black robe was pointing the sword at my neck.

Rublis sharply looked at me when I was shuddering with fear.

“I’m fine. Just go back, Marquis. ”

“But Your Majesty…”

“I said I’m fine.”

“… Yes, Your Majesty.”

When the man reluctantly bowed out, Rublis said in a casual voice, as if nothing happened, “Go ahead. What did I do to you?”

I touched my neck gently and stared at Rublis again. Although I was very surprised, I didn’t want to back out. In that case, I would not have dared to speak out to him from the beginning.

“What I said was not entirely wrong, right? Are you and Aristia playing games with me? She left the bottle behind, telling me she didn’t want to see me die in front of her, and you came here suddenly and said something beyond my understanding. Is it so fun to play the fool with me? A traitor like me doesn’t deserve any human rights?”

Although I spoke out without reserve in a fit of anger, I felt like crying because I was more and more upset while speaking to him.

Controlling my tears, I stared at him with glaring eyes fiercely. I could never let him see me crying.

“As for the treason charges against me, I can’t accept it. Who first told you about the raid? It was me. Why should I die because of Duke Jena? I saved Aristia who was slowly dying, and this is how you repay me? You want to use me fully, then dump me? Don’t you feel any guilt? Aren’t you sorry for me?”

“Why should I feel sorry?”

“What the heck?”