The Brave New World - 169 The Smell of Success

This wasn’t just because they smelled bad. Where the sense of smell was concerned, good and bad scents were a matter of taste, or even of circumstances. An odor universally accepted as revolting could be also regarded as beautiful in another set of circumstances.

During the Second World War, an American infantry unit liberating Normandy was pinned down in the same spot for a few days by the ferocious German defense. The strip of land separating the opposing forces, popularly known as No Man’s Land, featured a large building damaged by a bomb. When the wind blew from that direction, a horrible stench of rotting corpses filled the air. Soldiers gagged, and threw up. Everyone agreed that there had to be many decomposing bodies in the bombed building.

Upon liberating that particular strip of Normandy a few days later, the American soldiers discovered the building was a warehouse half-full of what was described as ‘deliciously ripe Camembert cheese’. The troops were ecstatic about this wonderful addition to the monotonous diet of military rations. The smell that had made them vomit now actually gave them an appetite.

A similar, though much fainter, smell pervaded the Lander mansion. After a moment’s thought, Kirk identified its origins. Frowning heavily, he started looking for the sergeant commanding the squad of marines billeted at his house.

He located the sergeant quickly; however, having a talk with him wasn’t possible. A soldier informed Kirk that the sergeant was in the process of taking a shower in the ensuite bathroom of the guest apartment.

“Well, tell him I’d appreciate it if his men followed his example. Including yourself,” Kirk told the soldier. Then he went to look for Bernard. His younger son was officially in charge of the Lander colony, ably assisted by Debbie. They both seemed to enjoy it very much. Most of the time, they were stretched out on the silvery mats in their respective bedrooms.

Kirk discovered they were doing exactly that. He initially wanted to wake them up, but changed his mind. It was natural to take a nap after dinner. He’d hate it if someone woke him up.

He went to the kitchen to get something to eat for himself. He fully expected to find Adam there, but he didn’t. Instead, he found Randy Trueman. His son-in-law was consuming a very large sandwich in a guilty manner.

“She’s already found about it,” Randy informed Kirk. He spoke with food in his mouth, and a wet crumb flew out of his mouth and attached itself to the lapel of Kirk’s jacket. Kirk flicked it off, and said coldly:

“I would be grateful if you could stop stuffing yourself for a moment, and told me what’s going on.”

Randy swallowed hurriedly, and took a sip of what appeared to be iced water from his glass. Kirk’s nostrils twitched: he thought he could detect a faint scent of juniper berries. It seemed Randy Trueman was in the process of depleting Kirk’s stock of gin. Kirk didn’t mind. He appreciated the fact a man could need a drink at the end of the day. In fact, he felt like having one himself. So he said:

“Can you give me a glass of whatever you’re having? Gin on the rocks, is it?”

“Uh, a martini,” said Randy. “Debbie made a pitcher. It’s in the freezer. Just give me a minute.”

Kirk gave him a minute, and spent it inspecting the kitchen. There was a big pot of very promising-looking thick soup on the stove. He turned the stove on to heat it up and helped himself to a piece of homemade flatbread. He noted with satisfaction that the drink Randy handed him was of the king-size variety. He took a sip – damn! Debbie mixed one hell of a martini. She was such a treasure!

Kirk’s eyes moistened with affection for his dumb but talented wife. He said abruptly:

“All right. Give it to me. I want all of it, right now.”

“There isn’t much,” Randy said. “Libby Placek found out I’m married to your daughter. She immediately took away my command, and posted me to fucking Yuma. You know Yuma?”

“There was a famous western about a train to Yuma,” said Kirk. “I know! 3:10 to Yuma. Saw it a hell of a long time ago. That’s the extent of my knowledge of Yuma.”

“Keep it that way,” Randy advised. “You don’t want to get to know this place.”

Kirk cleared his throat.

“Well, actually I should,” he said. “I mean, it’s California. But I can’t remember who is the governor over there.”

“One of Placek’s bitches.”

“Really? I must look into this. Appointing people to important posts in return for sexual favors… It doesn’t look good. It doesn’t look good at all.”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Randy said. “At least, I don’t think I did. But it might be true.”

“It might,” Kirk said, with a fresh gleam in his eye. He was already beginning to feel invigorated by Debbie’s excellent martini. He took another sip and said:

“That’s it. I’ll launch a little investigation. As for you, son, don’t worry. I hereby appoint you garrison commander in Napa.”

“But it’s going to take forever for me to get here in the New World.”

“We’ll remove your implant, and give you a new one right on the spot,” said Kirk. “We’ve got plenty to spare, no worries there.”

He winked at Randy, and added:

“What worries me though is that with you, we’ve lost our main source of intelligence inside the Placek camp.”

“I might be able to help,” said Randy. “I’ve made a couple of friends there that don’t like Placek any more than you do. I’ll look into it.”

“Discreetly,” Kirk said, frowning and raising a warning finger.

“Of course. And if I may ask, are you going to be handling my transfer personally? Or should I go talk to someone?”

“I shall handle it personally,” declared Kirk. “And now that you’re here, you’ll be able to brief me directly and in detail on the Placek situation. I mean Karen’s been passing on everything you told her to, but it’s not the same thing.”

“It isn’t,” agreed Randy. “Well, I think… From what I’ve seen and heard… Yeah, I think I can tell you Placek is in trouble. She’s overruled your limits on new colonists. She basically lets everybody in. People are starting to die in droves.”

“Really? That’s excellent news. But you don’t have to brief me now. You must be tired after your day. How did you get here?”

“I got a ride with a courier as far as Frisco. And I immediately got another ride on a truck to Napa. Rest of the way, I walked.”

“Walked? My boy, that’s twenty kilometers!”

“By road. I took a few shortcuts. Anyway, I enjoyed it. You know, lately I’ve been spending a lot of my time on this planet sleeping on a fucking mat in a room. Right now, my guy isn’t even half the way to Yuma. It’s a fucking long way in the New World.”

“We must arrange your exit carefully,” Kirk said. “How are you traveling?”

“A small caravan. They’re carrying supplies, it’s a regular run. They can go on without me.”

“Excellent. You’ll just tell them you’ve received new orders, and turn back. Find a secluded spot for the implant business. We don’t want them finding the corpse of your old guy.”

“There’s still the question of my horse and equipment.”

“Unsaddle the horse, and let it run free. Most likely, it will go back home. As for the equipment, hmmm. I guess you won’t have time to fuck around with tiger rock.”

“Even if I did, there’s no telling where all that stuff would arrive here,” Randy said. “Listen, Kirk. If that horse returns home without me, with saddle and harness missing – it’s going to raise questions.”

“Kill the fucking horse, then,” Kirk said firmly. “Kill it and bury all the equipment. There’s no other way.”

“Okay,” Randy said reluctantly. “It might take a while. I mean, I don’t have a shovel or a spade.”

“I didn’t mean it literally. Shove it inside some cave or crevice or any convenient hole you come across. Shove it inside, and cover it up. That should do it.”

Randy nodded.

“I’ll do exactly that,” he said. “When do you want to do the implant thing? In the morning, say twelve hours from now? Five days is more than enough to get completely lost in the New World. What do you think?”

Kirk pondered Randy’s question for a while. He refreshed himself with the rest of his martini as he did so. Sniffing his glass, he said:

“I smell success. I think it’s a good plan. I’ll take the day off tomorrow. I haven’t had a day off in weeks! I’ll just give Placek a call and tell her what’s what. I’ll also ask her for a full, updated list of all the governors in her region. That will make a good starting point for getting her slung out on her fat ass.”

“She’s not so fat any more,” Randy said. “She’s lost a lot of weight.”

“Do her good,” Kirk said. “Is there anything left in that pitcher?”

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