The Butcher of Gadobhra - Chapter 397: Coffee Break

Below in the main courtyard, work continued on the project of creating a new teleportation stone for the keep. Vladimir had imposed order on the project by pulling a tarnished silver wrench from his belt and threatened to hit people in the head if they didn’t quit arguing. The threat of cracked skulls proved insufficient. Only Damien closed his mouth. He smiled and took a step away from the chaos just in time, having seen his high-strung colleague lose his temper before. Vladimir gave anyone still talking a painful blow to the head, adding in colorful elven and dwarfish curses. It took several hits in the case of Johannes. The tall professor had extremely thick skin and bones and had been engaged in a heated discussion with Titania about mana transmission theory, and the blows took time to register. After he had their attention, Vladimir put them to work.

Damien led the team of Professors as they designed and worked to complete the magi-tech teleportation mechanism that would go below the stone. The Tommaso twins had an expert knowledge of mana flow and distortion tubes, while Volminus had an instinctive grasp of how to arrange the components in the most efficient mana to prevent feedback. Damien lived up to his legendary reputation by producing a satchel full of spare parts and components exactly suited to constructing the needed apparatus. Johannes got to work cleaning and inspecting each part, happy to do the tedious task. Titania used her good eye to inspect each piece, using her skill to detect flaws and weak points. Ben stayed at Damien’s side, helping where he could and glaring at the Professors if they started to argue.

With the other part of the project organized, Vladimir continued the laborious process of slowly carving each of the runes on the stone, engraving the channels to the proper depth to accept the thin stream of conductive metal alloy that Georges was trying to produce. The hardness of the stone made his job difficult. He stopped often to sharpen his instruments, limited to what tools Damien had found in one of his satchels.

Into this busy mess marched The Knight, his three squires, and seven White Witches. Sir Larry strode to the center of the room and proclaimed in a deep voice, slightly muffled by the helmet he never removed, “Evil has been vanquished! The Witches of Alchemarx have been defeated and their masters banished from these lands. Sneaky bad guys lose, good wins, and Larry has ears to turn in for his quests.”

The Baroness limped forward into the room, showing signs of her recent battle. “I will officially confirm the happy news brought by Sir Larry. Alchemarx has been declared bankrupt and is gone from this world. A wonderful job, all of you. I declare double rewards for all ear quests.”

The knight’s tall bunny ears atop his helmet stood up straight. “Quick, Squire Squeak, we must count Larry’s ears. He dumped a large number of small body parts on the floor, and Squire Squeak added a smaller amount.

The knight’s squire looked up from the long list he was reading. “Baroness, would you say that ‘A Great Evil that threatened the World’ has been banished’?”

Layla smiled, ” Absolutely. They don’t come much more evil than Alchemarx.” Layla certainly considered the other corporations to be a threat to her eventually ruling the world.

The squire happily drew a line through another quest.

The Shepherd looked down at the unmoving butterfly held in one arm. “Squire Bug is very sleepy and can’t eat any more ears. You can have what is left of ours.”

Rolly wrapped the butterfly in her wings and cradled her in his arms. “I’m off to put this princess to bed and check on my cows.”

Vladimir growled and continued with his work without looking up from his carving, “As happy as I am to hear about the sleepy princess and the counting of ears, I need things quiet, or I am not going to bring this project in on time! This is delicate work, and unless you can find another person both capable of carving arcane runes and supplying a second set of tools, I demand a quiet work environment.”

Everyone else hushed, even Damien, who had to be satisfied with a few rude but silent gestures. Sir Larry and Rolly disappeared quickly and quietly, as did the Witch’s circle, except for Suzette, Betty, and Granny Gorpunkle. Betty set down her new cauldron to boil water for tea. Granny produced a bag of cookies from her cloak and silently walked up to Vladimir, speaking low. “It’s all right, dear. Betty and I will make sure the others keep quiet. She’s going to brew you some nice rose hip tea that Pomeline recommends for stress, and I have a bag of cookies for you.”

Vladimir reached for the cookies like a starving man. “Bless you. I can’t tell you how much these have helped my wives and me.”

Granny smiled at him. “Happy to help you all get a good night’s sleep. I’ll go help Betty with the tea and leave you to your work.”

Before Vladimir could begin carving, a voice beside him said, “Excuse my interruption, but I would be happy to help another Engineer on a project.”

The half-dwarf turned quickly, not having sensed anyone approach. It was the knight’s squire. His eyes wandered down to the heavily used gold spanner hanging from his belt. As usual, contradictory emotions whirled within Vladimir: Jealousy of the gold spanner denied him, respect for Senior Engineers, shock at how young this person was, rage at never being accepted by either of his families, desire to achieve the impossible despite his mixed heritage, and finally, acceptance of his flawed existence.

“Ah, Senior Engineer. So pleased to meet you. I am Vladimir Two-Souls, proud to have attained the rank of Junior Engineer of the Misty Peaks Engineering Guild.”

Milo was staring at the rune work on the stone. “This is extremely efficient! I love the runic alphabet you use. You’ve combined the best parts of the Dwarven and High Elven alphabets that I’ve studied. I’m Senior Engineer Milo of the Deep Rock Station under Shadowport.” Rather than bowing slightly and expecting a deeper bow in return, he offered to shake hands as equals.

Vladimir accepted, curious. He examined his fellow Engineer but couldn’t get a good feel for him. There were layers of protection on him, blocking his scrying. Was he truly human? How could he have been granted a gold spanner if he was? After a moment of introspection, he ignored the voices in his head and focused on the work. “Do you happen to have a set of carving tools on you? This stone is from a Tier 3 dungeon. Called Red Granite in the common tongue and Bloodstone in my father’s language, it is dense and hard, slowing my work.”

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

Milo held up his hand, “I don’t need tools; I use these.” Long, razor sharp claws appeared at the end of each finger.

Vladimir bent and examined them, his eyes going wide. “You have managed to infuse runes into your bones and claws! How?! And I don’t know those runes! Where are they from?” Jealousy was drowned by the chance to examine a new rune. Even before his incarceration, it had been a decade since he’d seen anything truly interesting.

The claws retracted, and Milo kept his voice low. “My claws are a gift from Alta Viator, one of the Great Bone Beasts, and are infused with his ancient runes. It’s a long story and not one I want to tell with so many people around. But I would love to sit with another Engineer and discuss Unified Runic Theory and trade knowledge—once this project is done, of course.”

Vladimir’s face went through several emotions before calming. “The bardic heritage of my mother is anxious for your story, but the pragmatism my father drilled into me agrees that the project comes first. Yes, I would like to trade knowledge. Let me begin by telling you the secrets of my runic language as we carve so you understand it better, and the work will go faster.” Vladimir watched as Milo’s claw carved along the painted guidelines with ease and precision that equaled his own. They began working together, Vladimir helping Milo to achieve the proper cuts and angles as he worked on another part of the stone.

Across the courtyard, Damien strained to hear what the two were talking about and finally gave up, frustrated. “Damned Engineers and their secrets. Now I have to deal with two of them. Wait…You can’t use a sulfur-infused cathode there without reinforcing the connection between it and the diametrically opposed tube on the other side. Unless…yes, I see where you’re going with that. Luckily, I’ve saved a few cadmium torsion springs for just such a project!” He dismissed the stingy Engineers from his mind and got back to the fun of designing a unique teleportation matrix. The Professors from the local college were growing on him. They lacked discipline and argued with each other too much but were happy to experiment, even when the results might be disastrous. Damien considered this the proper attitude for any scientist poking at reality to see if it poked back.

Betty and Granny Gorpunkle kept an eye on both groups and served them tea and cookies as needed, and the work seemed to be progressing well, a change from earlier. Two hours went by, and the sun came up, casting its light down onto a frost-covered landscape. The clatter of small hooves heralded the arrival of a small cart pulled by two goats with six brownies in the back. Rory hopped off the cart and gave a small bow to Suzette. “Coffee is served, boss. We brought a selection of brews to keep you buzzing all day long.”

“Bless you and your clan, Rory. This is just what I needed.” She accepted a large earthenware mug from her retainer, drinking down part of it when all the brownies smiled at the praise and raced to take cups to everyone. As her small minions distributed caffeinated beverages to all the hard-working, crazed geniuses, Ozzy was cleaning up the last of the debris and looking at the damage he’d done to the flooring. The stone-paved floor of the courtyard had taken a beating when Ozzy and Bobby-Chuck had hit the ground, with several large cracks as evidence. He sat down, out of the way to enjoy his steaming beverage. The coffee mug looked like a thimble in his huge hand, and Rory made a note to have a much larger mug crafted for much larger customers.

The Engineers had finished another section of the runic matrix, and Vladimir was explaining to Milo how the runes of the Hermetic Shield along the edge were being integrated with the teleportation matrix. “It’s a very unique idea, and I’m told was stumbled upon during a desperate battle. This stone has been consecrated three times! First, by the ghouls of the Red Chapel who hoped to use it for nefarious arcane purposes. Then it was linked to Hermes and finally consecrated in the Holy Fire of the Maid of Orleans. All of that gives us a unique material to carve and improve.” As he paused and gave time for his fellow Engineer to assimilate his words, he noticed two brownies had come bearing mugs of some steaming beverage.

“Beggin’ your pardon, sirs, but if it pleases you, we have a tasty infusion of the finest coffee prepared for you.”

Milo sniffed it, then sighed. “I’ve been warned by several people that coffee is something I should avoid.”

Vladimir looked stricken as the smell wafted up and tickled his nose. “I, too, have avoided the beverage since my youth. My mind races with too many thoughts, and I fall into a trance, only worried about the projects in front of me without a care in the world about what might happen. Still…we are behind schedule.”

The brownies winked at each other. “We could add some fresh honey, chocolate, and heavy cream to smooth out the effects of the triple espresso.”

Milo was unfamiliar with espresso, but he loved chocolate and honey. “That does sound good…and I recall that union rules allow for breaking small rules in the interest of completing a project on time. This can’t be any worse than Boom Boom adding cataclysmite crystals into the fuel tank of the old ore processor.”

Vladimir’s eyes went wide at the mention of the potent dwarven explosive. “Did it work?”

Milo nodded. “It worked, and the Deep Copper ore we needed came out very pure. The downside was having to build a new ore processor.”

“That seems like a sound precedent to work on, and allow us a teensy little bit of this tasty beverage in return for increased efficiency and bringing the project to completion on time.” The half-elf smiled at the brownies, showing his pointed incisors. They raced away, laughing and returning with the needed ingredients.

Ten minutes later, Damien’s thoughts were interrupted by the loud cackling of Vladimir and strange, high-pitched squeals of joy coming from his assistant. Dust and chips of stone were flying as the two raced each other to carve the runes into the stone. Behind them, brownies were preparing more mugs of coffee. Damien considered the effects of his own mug, only half-finished because of the potency, and counted the dirty mugs stacked upside down next to the two Engineers.

“Oh no! What have they done?!”