The Count’s Secret Maid - Chapter 33

The Count’s circumstances (2)

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Huge thanks to rmhrpr for the kofis! (3/3)

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“Come to think of it, I haven’t heard much about you.”

 

“I have nothing to say.”

 

“You used to mutter and grumble about everything else.”

 

“I have a bad memory, so I can’t recall much.”

 

The empty plate spun round and round. The sound filled the space between us.

 

“The second sibling must miss you a lot.”

 

“…”

 

The spinning plate came to an abrupt stop with a clatter. Silence engulfed them for a moment. Paula couldn’t withdraw her hand from the plate. The crumbs on the plate scattered messily on the table, dirtying it, just like her heart.

 

“No, she won’t miss me.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because she went to a better place. We don’t live together anymore.”

 

As Paula said that, she looked up at the sky outside the window. The sky was clear and beautiful.

 

‘My siblings are all there. They must be living happily there, away from the hell where the devilish creature tormented them.’

 

‘And they must resent me for it…’

 

“Looks like she got married and went to a better place.”

 

Ah, it sounded like that.

 

But Paula didn’t bother to correct him.

 

“Yes, it’s a better place.”

 

“What about your other siblings?”

 

“Yes, except for the third one. Father thought she was too beautiful.”

 

Too beautiful, causing problems. As Paula said that, thoughts of the house in Pilton crossed her mind. Since leaving there, they hadn’t shared any news. She hadn’t visited.

 

‘How are they living in that house without me?’ Paula had pondered that thought briefly before pushing it aside. It was an unnecessary concern.

 

“What about your mother?”

 

“She’s not here.”

 

Whether she was alive or dead, it didn’t matter. Having her was the same as not having her at all. After answering that, she didn’t want to bring up the topic of family anymore. If he asked again, she planned to tidy up and leave, but he didn’t ask any further and turned his gaze back outside the window.

 

“Well, there’s no need to miss her.”

 

The casual remark seemed as if he knew something. It felt like a jab at her heart.

 

‘Stop it. Don’t bother me anymore.’ Paula wanted to scream.

 

“…And what about you, Master? Do you miss anyone?”

 

Paula retaliated with a mischievous intention. Even though she knew his parents had passed away in an unfortunate accident, she wanted to poke at his wounds. She expected Vincent to be annoyed, but his response was unexpected.

 

“No.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because there’s no need to. We’ll meet when we die, so what’s the point of missing someone? Sadness should be brief. I don’t want to have any regrets. It’s better to discard them than be consumed by those emotions and not be able to see what lies ahead. They’re useless.”

 

“…”

 

His words were cold, but Paula could understand. She felt the same way.

 

The deaths of her siblings. The sadness, longing, regret, and guilt poured forth as a result. But she didn’t have the luxury to wallow in those emotions. She had to live day by day, and those emotions didn’t help her in the slightest. Her life’s worth was determined by whether she was useful or not. And those emotions made her feel useless. So, instead of holding onto them, she chose to cut them away. After doing so, she felt like she could live again.

 

Was his life the same?

 

An unexpected sense of familiarity arose.

 

“I told you. This is no place to dream.”

 

[“Then think about it. It’s not the right place to dream.”]

 

Yes, he said those words. At the time, she thought he was just spouting prickly remarks out of frustration, so she didn’t think much of it. But now, looking back, it seemed like his own advice derived from experience.

 

“But don’t you have one thing you want to dream about, even if it’s a futile dream?”

 

Paula became curious about the wishes of this man who gave such dry answers. After pondering for a moment in silence, he let out a weary reply.

 

“To be able to see.”

 

His answer intrigued her.

 

“How about you? Do you have any futile dreams you want to dream?”

 

“Well, I want to live for a long, long time. It would be nice if I had less hardship, but in this life where I scrape by wherever I go, dreaming extravagant dreams is not something I do.”

 

“So, you’ll continue to stay here. At least then you won’t face hardships from the outside.”

 

“You want me to stay here for a long time?”

 

In response to his unexpectedly resolute statement, Paula playfully retorted. When she first came here, Vincent used to yell at her to leave and throw things at her. And now he was saying things like this. It was quite touching.

 

“I permit it.”

 

“Really? You won’t change your mind later?”

 

“I won’t. Stay for a long time.”

 

He took another sip of tea. Paula contemplated whether she should ask for a written promise.

 

“I’ll protect you.”

 

The teacup clinked. The wind blew. The ribbon on her hair fluttered, and struggled to escape from his hand. He wrapped the ribbon around his index finger, lifted it slightly, and pressed it to his lips.

 

Like a kiss.

 

“Because you’re mine, I’ll protect you.”

 

“…”

 

“Promise me.”

 

His emerald eyes curled around. The ribbon slipped gently from his hand and swirled around, brushing against her cheek, touching her hand, and then looping around her neck.

 

Paula couldn’t divert her gaze from Vincent.

 

Her heart thumped. The unfamiliar sensation jutted out, almost enough for her fingers to curl around it.

 

“So stay by my side. For a long time.”

 

His firm voice enveloped her. The white ribbon that carried his body temperature grazed her skin, leaving a burn mark. The man who sat upright in front of her stole her gaze.

 

“You’re silent. Am I not trustworthy enough?”

 

“No… No, that’s not it. Not at all.”

 

“By denying it three times, it seems like you thought so.”

 

“Not at all.”

 

“Four times. You’re sure.”

 

“…”

 

“But still, believe in me. I believe in you, too.”

 

Paula opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again, and closed it again. When she met the emotions reflected in his longing eyes, her chest tingled. Something inside it thumped repeatedly. It raced toward the person in front of her.

 

“Since losing my sight, my other senses have become more sensitive. So when dealing with people, I touch and feel things like breath, trembling voices, gestures, hand movements, noises, and smells to make assumptions. It’s like covering your eyes every moment and playing a game of guessing. Right now, I am focusing on you.”

 

His fingertip pointed towards her.

 

Paula widened her eyes in surprise.

 

“If you feel embarrassed, you become speechless. You’re probably gaping right now. Touched by what I said, perhaps.”

 

“…You’re mistaken. Not at all.”

 

Paula closed her open mouth. Despite knowing that he couldn’t see, she even lowered her head. Upon hearing her response, he chuckled softly.

 

“Is that so? Then I’m curious. I wonder what face you’re making right now. If I could see you now, it would be nice. Then I could know exactly what you’re thinking.”

 

“You would regret seeing it.”

 

“Because you are too beautiful?”

 

“To the point of blinding you.”

 

At her words, he chuckled.

 

“Well done.”

 

Even as he spoke, he didn’t stop laughing. His laughter was a pleasant sight. It was exquisite. Thanks to the regular meals, he had gained quite a bit of weight, and much of his old, emaciated appearance had disappeared.

 

He was definitely changing.

 

It was both gratifying and sad. Paula needed to stay, and he needed to change. Every time she saw him changing, she realized their relationship once again. That’s why she sometimes didn’t think about the unfamiliar emotions emerging in her heart.

 

Instinctively, she knew.

 

It was certainly not a good emotion for her.

 

***

 

At noon time, Isabella came to Paula in the annexe. She grabbed her arm with an urgent expression and pulled Paula into a room.

 

“Paula, go out with the Master right away.”

 

“What?”

 

“Get ready immediately. I’ll talk to the Master separately.”

 

While saying that, she handed Paula a coat.

 

Paula accepted it in confusion.

 

“W-where are we going?”

 

“Anywhere is fine. Just go as far as possible. But not too far. Go to a safe place if possible. I’ll allow you to come back late.”

 

With those words, Isabella headed straight to Vincent’s room. Paula was about to follow her, but she first removed her apron. Since she only had the dress she wore when she first came here as her outing clothes, Paula changed into it and put on the coat before leaving the room.

 

Coincidentally, Vincent, also wearing his outing clothes, came out of the adjacent room. He seemed to have hastily changed his clothes, as his appearance was a bit dishevelled. Behind him, Isabella appeared anxious.

 

Paula wanted to ask about the situation, but he struck his cane on the floor and spoke to her.

 

“Shall we go for a walk?”

 

His words were so casual that Paula found herself nodding without realizing it.

 

Vincent held her hand, and they headed to the forest they had visited before. To call it a walk would be an overstatement, as there was nowhere specific to go. Isabella told her to go to a safe place; the only safe place Paula knew was Bellunita’s estate. And Vincent couldn’t go to crowded places.

 

The forest was quiet. The chirping of birds in the distance eased the tension a bit.

 

“What could be the reason for this sudden outing?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Glancing behind her, Vincent remained calm while Paula was perplexed. He looked around the forest with an unchanged expression, although there was nothing to see. But his trembling hand, holding hers, revealed his true feelings. He was pretending to be calm.

 

Vincent seemed to know the reason behind this sudden outing.

 

‘What could it be?’ 

 

Paula narrowed her eyes and observed him, but recently Vincent had become adept at concealing his inner thoughts. He had changed significantly from the time when he acted sensitive and irritable.

 

Although she was curious, she decided not to ask. She thought there must be a reason why he wasn’t talking to her about it.

 

“I don’t know where to go. She said to go far away.”

 

“Just go.”

 

“Weren’t you reluctant to go out after meeting Miss Violet the last time? Besides, how can we go far away? We would have to go towards the main mansion.”

 

“We can go.”

 

“How?”

 

Then, he suddenly grabbed Paula’s hand and started walking ahead. She followed behind him. Instead of heading towards the path, he headed towards the thickets. Paula struggled to take steps as the foliage grew dense the deeper they went. Due to the lack of maintenance, tree branches dangerously jutted out, almost causing her injuries. Midway, she took the lead and helped clear the thickets while Vincent continued walking, meticulously touching each tree. As if he was searching for something in the trees, he carefully examined the surrounding trees.

 

After walking for a while, they reached a clearing as they pushed through the thicket. It was a circular space surrounded by trees. There was an iron gate there. Since the bushes grew over it, the gate was not noticeable unless you looked closely. Beyond the iron gate, there was a path.

 

Paula didn’t expect such a space to exist. She looked around in admiration.

 

“Wow, there’s a gate in a place like this. I didn’t know.”

 

“If we go out through here, we can reach the village.”

 

It felt like an adventure. It was really fascinating. Paula looked around the narrow space and caught a glimpse of the path outside the gate. Then, she gently pushed the gate, and it creaked open. There was a chain attached to the handle, so she thought it was locked, but apparently not.

 

“What is it used for?”

 

“It’s said to be an emergency route.”

 

“The gate is rusty.”

 

“We haven’t used it for a long time.”

 

Paula was so fascinated that she kept scanning the path outside the gate. It was a long path, but the overgrown grass made it difficult to see inside. It seemed more like being sucked into the bushes than walking along the path.

 

“It feels like a secret path. If we go out here, a new world will appear. There will be fascinating creatures and fairies, and we can make companions and go on adventures.”

 

“I’ve been thinking since last time, but you read too many books.”

 

Vincent raised his head.

 

Paula shrugged.

 

‘Well, so what? Imagination is free.’

***